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psamathos
Reviews
Hellraiser (2022)
Atrocious Remake
Woof, what a stinker. It doesn't hold a candle to the original movie--stop calling it a remake. At best, it's just a continuation of the franchise, in which case it kind of works if you forgive the tedious pacing and bland characters. But even then, there's very little to redeem this film. The production values are slick, I'll give it that, but as a horror movie it seems like everything was done wrong. There's basically zero suspense or anticipation. The creatures are revealed way too early and the second act was just drawn out so long you had to wonder why they were filling time. Once you get to the finale, you're wondering why you should care about what happens to any of the shallow, underdeveloped characters. The whole thing just feels hollow, like a husk, another stillborn Hollywood debacle. I came away from it just feeling betrayed that I had wasted my time.
The Scientist (2010)
Having "science" in the title does not make this science fiction.
Among all the other recent movies uncreatively named after the professions of their main characters, this one is the least descriptive. This movie could have equally well been called "The Artist," "The Carpenter," or even "The Housekeeper," and it would have lost nothing. The story has nothing to do with science or scientists, except that it happens that the protagonist used to be one. Even calling it science fiction is a stretch: at best, it's a hackneyed drama with some mystical overtones. Throw in some irrelevant side-plot about his new neighbour's wife, and that's about the long and short of it.
It's not all bad, of course: The acting, cinematography, and music are all well done, but the pacing is so painfully slow and the story so jumbled and ill-conceived that this is not worth watching.
Gedo senki (2006)
Not Compelling
Having never read the Earthsea books, I can only offer an opinion on the movie on its own, and I regret to say that it's a dud. Previous Ghibli movies that I have seen and loved have been incredible and original fantasies that capture the imagination. The story, characters, and animation work together to evoke a sense of fascinated wonder at this window into a bizarre and fascinating world. But, nothing like that happened while viewing this film. Instead, I saw a few generic high fantasy characters stumbling through a generic fantasy land in a seemingly disconnected series of fights. I'm sorry, but using exotic names for a setting does not excuse the script writers of actually writing a story. The wandering wizard, the corrupted sorcerer, and the fallen prince are all classic archetypes which are simply not used effectively at all. I cannot comment on the quality of the novels from which this movie is derived, but I can only say that the script utterly fails at delivering the intended sense of the epic. I don't care whose son directed this film: it's simply not compelling. The animation is of good quality, of course, but the bland script and uninspired philosophy simply make this dull to watch. I cannot recommend this film.
The Fountain (2006)
A Humble Masterpiece
Aronofsky presents the timeless interplay between life and death with this intricate but eminently personal story. It could be no simpler: a man is trying desperately to save his dying wife while she comes to terms with her fate. Yet this common event is not merely a focus of despair, but a magnificent inevitability echoed in every facet of The Fountain's engrossing metaphor: from the simplicity of a tree turning decay into new life as it grows, to the magnificence of the heavens where worlds are born from the dust of dying stars. It shows us death as it truly is, as both a disease and as an act of creation. I cannot call The Fountain a masterpiece because, while beautiful, it is so humble. It is closer to a meditation than a masterpiece, but this makes it all the more powerful. Open your mind and let The Fountain wash through you to bring a moment of inner peace.
Robot Wars (1993)
A Passable Giant Robot Flick
There's nothing quite like watching giant robots doing battle over a desert wasteland, and Robot Wars does deliver. Sure, the acting is lousy, the dialogue is sub-par, and the characters are one-dimensional, but it has giant robots! The special effects themselves are actually quite good for the period. They are certainly not as polished as today's standards, but it contains a minimum of computer graphics and instead uses miniatures, so it has aged fairly well. Its shortcomings are easily overlooked given the films short runtime, and it does have a certain tongue-in-cheek humour in parts that make it quite enjoyable. I would recommend this to any fan of giant robots or cheesy sci-fi who is looking for a lighthearted hour of distraction.