nraok Reviews

Firepower (1979)

What should have been done to the film and its director prior to its release.

[2/10 · 26 May 2003]

This bomb shows that no number of recognizable stars or presumed acting talents can salvage a film constructed with a laughable script, grade- school directing, second-rate sound effects, and a plot with no credibility whatsoever. Spoiler - the last scene with an over-the-hill Victor Mature looking as greasy as ever in a ten second cameo no doubt had every unfortunate viewer reaching for the sickness bag.

Dead Heat (2002)

DOA

[1/10 · 3 March 2003]

No wonder this abomination went uncritiqued - no self-respecting critic could be held in a seat long enough to watch all 97 mintutes. The plot is completely implausible from start to finish. Sutherland's character suffers a heart attack in the opening scene which one would wish ended this debacle. This adds nothing tangible to the film. He and his wife are estranged but can't seem to keep their hands off each other though he's unable to perform and she's getting it on with some nerd. The loser jockey has a precocious daughter whose presence provides nothing but for a possible catalyst to reunite the lead with his dim-witted wife. The final scene (spoiler) is enough to make a viewer dizzy with the race horses galloping around an indoor corral ad nauseum selectively stomping the bad guys to death, yet somehow avoiding everyone else. The reviewers keen hope that the second "big one" might result in death was dashed. It's great that Sutherland and LaPaglia, who looked ridiculous with silly chin growth and bleached hair, have found apparent success with their TV series as they're both decent actors. Why Daniel Benzali, an excellent character actor, allowed himself to be included in this mess is inexplicable.

In Old Mexico (1938)

Straightforward Hoppy fare with a few twists south of the border.

[7/10 · 1 September 2002]

Straightforward "Hoppy" fare of revenge and murder across the border, with pals Lucky and Windy along for the ride. Some feminine treachery puts a twist on the plot, and seeing Jan (Jane) Clayton of much later "Lassie" TV fame as singing and shooting "Anita", is fun. She married Russell Hayden (Lucky) the year this was made.

Ping! (2000)

An unabashed rip-off of "Home Alone", poorly done!

[1/10 · 2 March 2002]

The stars (?) - Jones, Reinhold, and Howard must have been in dire need of new swimming pool liners to allow themselves to appear in this per- fectly dreadful and shameful rip-off of the Home Alone series. Even the voice-overs for the animals are off-character. The gag stunts, which are the raison d'etre of this genre, are pathetically uninventive and, for the most part, unfunny. Entertainment folk must eat like everyone else, but surely the people associated with this debacle could find some other means by which to fill their bellies than to empty those of unsuspecting viewers.