what a load of sap....i don't like gary whats his name because he is a wooden actor to begin with.....then couple him with s female lead that has no business doing the job either and you get utter garbage...i also found it preposterous that a boat that was clearly tied securely to the dock, broke loose all by itself merely to create a crisis situation...surely, the dreamer that wrote this fairy tale could have found better feasibility to make transitions....i get it now......i ran a csi check on it and discovered it was written and cut so that it would fit a certain time slot with commercials added....the best actor in the story is the dog....
Reviews
32 Reviews
The New Original Wonder Woman
(1975 TV Movie)
Lynda Carter Rocks !
1 October 2004
Catch the full first season on DVD....A genuine TV classic! The special effects used in this series were unheard of in this era ! The filming was pretty bad but the quality was good....The term 3 gapper originated with this series and Lynda...I'd rather watch Lynda Carter than Arnold the putz any day...Bullets and bracelets, sex and chutzpah, oh my ! The plots are corny but pretty much follow the comic book routines...Good light entertainment and a healthy dose of what a really gorgeous female can do for the production ! I'll bet pantyhose sales went off the charts when this show aired...Even Stella Stevens looked fabulous in the first episode but she wasn't up to Lynda's beauty !
Fear Factor
(I) (2001–2012)
How stupid can it get ?
13 September 2004
Dumb, fake, useless garbage for no brain idiots. The penultimate Hollywood farce ! Do us and yourselves a favor and get a real life ! People that subscribe to this type of sham have way too much free time on their hands, Buy any book and read it. Stay away from this putrid piece of fantasy in hopes that it will die a quick death ! Could be rated along with Blind Date, 5th Wheel, and Regis and Kelly as some of the worst TV shows of this century, or all time ! Well, according to Garp, these comments must be at least 10 lines long whether it deserves it or not. How is that for Hollywood crap? The worse it is, the more you need to shoot it down !
The Thin Red Line
(1998)
Good but NOT great
29 February 2004
Too many slips and instances of equipment, etc. not available during the period. Although the cast is better suited than the 1964 version and does a better acting job. Color over the original B&W certainly adds some enhancement to the film. The director probably doesn't realize there was no Air Force until 1947, far after the war was over. Not really a great piece of work that demands your total attention. Some day perhaps Clooney will be the tough, action hero he sees in himself, although I doubt it. To be fair, I watched this film on the USA channel and the commercials were a pain. I was just as glad to be done with this film as the persons it portrayed were to get out of the line and on to something better.
The Desperate Hours
(1955)
Too many coincidences
9 February 2004
Too many coincidences and too many nosy and suspicious people in this pot boiler. It gets so ridiculous that the viewer can expect anything to happen. Good performances by the cast. The ending is just as incongruous as the rest of the picture.
Bordertown Gun Fighters
(1943)
Rootin Tootin Shoot-em Up
6 February 2004
It was quite surprising to see Harry Woods in the role of a good guy marshal instead of the heavy he played along with Roy Barcroft in a dozen or so other westerns. Anne Jeffreys is always a pleasure to watch no matter the size of the part. Gordon Nance, as usual was cast as Wild Bill something or other, an identity crisis he assumed in earlier films where he was Wild Bill Saunders, then Wild Bill Hickock. Although, he was alleged to have been a quick draw artist, and often wore his hardware backwards, the notion became incongruous. This sorry portrayal was even further clouded by raising his six gun over his head and wildly throwing his arm towards the intended target. Perhaps that's where he derived his "Wild Bill" calling card. Good old matinee fare for those that miss it.
Maverick
(1994)
Not funny nor cute but plain old dumb !
28 January 2004
Nice cast but in trying to get laughs and twists, all the beauty of what could have been was wasted. This could have been a real gem instead of a stinker. Remakes seldom achieve anywhere near the originals so why waste the money to produce them. All viewers aren't as stupid as the industry thinks.
The Rookie
(2002)
Bush League
19 January 2004
Just think, he might have thrown 100 mph if he used a windup. I guess if you come from Texas and get on a major league team like the Tampa Bay Devil Rays you consider yourself having made the bigs. I'm still reaching for a reason why they made this picture. Too much idle time on someones hands here. Strictly bush league in every respect.
Live and Let Die
(1973)
Obligatory cast for the day !
13 January 2004
It wouldn't matter which James Bond showed up for this racial appeasement film of the decade. Its neither a good spy flick nor an accurate portrayal of ethnic culture. I was curious why Yaphet wasn't portraying Bond. If you can get past the smell on this one you are far better than I. Look for it as a cult flick on the black tv net.
Air Force One
(1997)
Should be nominated for best farce of the century
11 January 2004
I thought I had seen bad films before but this is just an absolute load of crap. I laughed so hard I wet my pants. I still can't believe Harrison Ford sold his soul to make this film. I'm still laughing so hard its difficult to keep my thoughts. There is a message here for you bums in Hollywood and its this. Get a life and get a decent script.
Monk
(2002–2009)
Absolutely Awful
1 January 2004
How this show ever got to be in production is the real mystery here. Tony who ? is not funny at all. He should have stuck with being the weirdo taxi driver instead of a weirdo detective. For as many cases that he helps the police solve, he should have been re-instated to the force long ago. The bright spot is the assistant Bitty who ? She should change her real name to the role she plays which is the only reason for watching this drivel !
All the Fine Young Cannibals
(1960)
They were and they weren't !
18 December 2003
I won't belabor the issue here about a famous star that has passed on because they cannot defend themselves. Natalie Wood had all the tools to be the penultimate actress. But, she could never get over her insecurities dealing with her sisters, family or spouse. Then, she married the notorious womanizer Robert Wagner, yet again and added further insult to injury and finally death became her. Alcoholism is a more painful way to die. Its very strange that a full inquiry was never performed. Murder she wrote and Angela would have a field day ! Hollywood does indeed make strange bedfellows. Splendor in the grass - gimme a break, Warren Beatty and Elvis ? So much for myths. This film was on cruise control, thats really how good the pair was on screen. They just did what they were doing in real life !
The Ultimate Weapon
(1998)
Another load of crap !
16 December 2003
How these pieces of junk get funded for making is way beyond reason. How they get released for viewing is even more puzzling. Hulk fan or not this is not entertainment. I sincerely hope no one actually went to the cinema and paid good money to view this horrid piece of crap !
Red River
(1988 TV Movie)
A really good shoe !
7 October 2003
A great cast for a television remake with the exception of Gregory Harrison. He couldn't sweep the floor John Ireland walked on yet alone give a performance like in the 48 version of this rugged western. Lets face it, some just aren't meant to be cowboys even if they can't surf. Boxleitner and Arness work good together and pretty much carry this production. A probable reason why they paired again for the 1994 made for television film "Gunsmoke: One Man's Justice." I'll have to admit that I kept waiting for Peter Graves to come on after commercial breaks and announce "and now, back to Gunsmoke, staring James Arness !"
Deadly Pursuits
(1996 TV Movie)
Another Teenage Bomb !
6 October 2003
Where oh where did the genes go ? I suffered through this film because my wife is addicted to soaps on Lifetime Movie Network. Just because progeny of Hollywood personalities get an inside track doesn't mean they can really act or deserve the chance. This is just a complete waste of viewer's time unless you are a teeny-bopper looking for some much lacking T & A. I'd be afraid if she ( T.S. )told me her real name, I'd crack up laughing and be carted off to the funny farm ! She can't carry coals to Newcastle yet alone a worthwhile production ! A minus ten on a scale of one to ten. BTW, if she was the champion, I wouldn't take her to a dog fight !
Wild Things
(1998)
Not wild as much as dumb !
3 October 2003
I guess the moguls at the studio really needed to appease the teenage audience for this bummer. Matt Dillon certainly isn't any relation to Marshal Dillon with his lack of script mastery. The T and A show was better aided by the bikinied appearance of the lesser breasted Theresa Russell whom just exudes more sex appeal than a banana split but never got licked or did she ? John McNaughton was trying to emulate Alfred Hitchcock to no avail. If you are really dying, this would be a good flick to watch !
action in the woods with lucky
2 October 2003
Russell Hayden was perhaps one of Hoppy's best sidekicks, woman chaser, brash and brazen. He puts on the same persona in this action packed pseudo-western but can't carry the film quite like Hoppy. Dub Taylor adds as the comic sidekick Cannonball, much like Gabby Hayes and California Karlson in the Hoppy films. It still has the great good guy versus bad guy values of all the genre films in that era. Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys add the music, often when its out of sync with the plot but I guess they had to work it in somewhere.
Class
(1983)
Its all in Jacqueline
28 September 2003
The only class in this flippy flick is Jacqueline Bissett. The rest of the cast may as well be on the beaches at Acapulco or diddling away at the local arcade on their favorite pinball machine or video game. Oh right, just because it was made for juveniles by juveniles doesn't mean it cooks...on a scale of 5, give Jackie 4 and the film -1.
Delusion
(1991)
Gross Garbage
12 August 2003
Given a choice between this film and 'Snowboard Academy' take the later. Its way more entertaining. Something about the Death Valley desert locale just doesn't ring true. The huge lake for instance is out of place along with the entire cast. Jerry Orbach must have been desperate for work !
Santa Fe Passage
(1955)
Groaner
21 July 2003
Why Payne is in any western is the question. Rod Cameron is clearly suited to perform both roles at the same time. The guy that played the indian chief Satang was also totally unbelieveable. I like my westerns with less wimps. This reminds me of several other that were miscast because the producer wanted to star in a western. Willie Nelson comes to mind.
Gunman's Walk
(1958)
Nothing to grab onto here
14 July 2003
A showcase for a spoiled arrogant brat to show what he was like in real life. Its too bad they wasted the talent of so many other actors to bring this outrage to the screen. If for no other reason it should be shown repeatedly to display the utter contempt and disregard for native americans.
The Hunters
(1958)
Absolutely Terrible
10 July 2003
Besides the fact that Mitchum couldn't ever act his way out of a wet paper bag, the scenery is definitely not anything resembling either North or South Korea, China or the orient. The prop department must have ravaged all the Army/Navy stores in Los Angeles to get the goods for this film. The Air Force technical consultant must have gone out to lunch after the first hour of filming and never came back. It may have been entertaining at the time but it didn't stand the test of time.
Bite the Bullet
(1975)
A Classic Western Hero Adventure !
3 July 2003
This is a showcase for the multi-talented Coburn and Hackman abilities. Toss in a little fluff from Candace and some hard line cowboy idioms by Ben Johnson and you have a real western action film. Dabney Coleman is the villain which he portrays with much aplomb. If you grew up on Hopalong Cassidy you will enjoy this film. The good guys win in the end. Bully for Teddy Roosevelt !
Amongst Vultures
(1964)
Truly a writer's romantic imagination
8 June 2003
I've seen more than several of these Karl May novels adapted for the screen and I'm not yet sure who has the better imagination. Its quite obvious that these are totally unrealistic depictions of ruthless heathens and downright savages trying to be put in a kinder light for whatever purpose that has yet to be explained. When Native American's watch these tall tales I'm sure they laugh even harder than I did. Way too far out of touch with cultural realities. To qualify them as interesting entertainment would be beyond logical reason. Some of the more obvious flaws are using model 94 Winchester rifles way before the time frame they came into being. Then to believe that one could shoot an arrow from mid-flight without aiming is especially difficult for even an expert marksman to comprehend. These films are pure fantasy from the word go. If you have 90 to 100 minutes to spare I'd suggest visiting the many Native American web pages instead and find out the truth about the culture and customs.
The Island
(1980)
Typical Benchly fictional garbage
7 June 2003
This piece of badly written fiction was even further lowered with the screen adaptation. Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun and this is a result of it. Somehow even Kevin Costner's 'Waterworld' seems believable after enduring this rubbish. On a scale of 1-10, it doesn't even register a minus 10 !
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