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Reviews
Fast X (2023)
What a mess...
I'm glad we got free tickets for the 2 + hours of our lives that we wasted watching Fast X. The whole storyline was a mess, and just an excuse for actors like Helen Mirren to appear for a few minutes and pontificate about family. And why was Charlize in this - just so they could throw in a meaningless fight scene. It looks like the writers took all the best elements of the previous movies in the series, chucked them in a blender and hope the end result would be palatable.
Well, I can tell you, a Kale smoothie is more exciting than this movie. Having said that, the last 20 minutes or so weren't too bad, and The Rock turning up in the credits was probably the highlight of the whole movie - and maybe even a reason to watch the next instalment. Let's all just hope, pray and keep our fingers crossed that it will be a whole lot better than this disaster.
Amsterdam (2022)
Not too bad...
Why all the bad reviews and failure at the box office? Ours is not to know why. I watched this on Disney + while laying on the couch and I didn't fall asleep. In fact, I ended up sitting up as I became engrossed in a story well told and acted. The heat between John David Washington and Margot Robbie was palpable. Perhaps the only downfall was Mike Myers - you just can't help but think of Austin Powers each time he's on screen.
Perhaps the best thing about the movie is that it reflects what's happening in American society at the moment - power hungry people doing everything they can to stay in power and or change the course of history - for their own ends and benefits - not for those of the people. History repeats, again and again. When will we ever learn.
Ricky Gervais: SuperNature (2022)
nothing to be offended by here...
To all of the nay sayers going off at Ricky Gervais' latest gig - get a life.
It isn't offensive and probably one of the funniest stand-up shows I've seen in a long time. Sure, he has a dig at the LBG rest of the alphabet crew, but it is all in jest. And do you know why it's funny? Because it's true.
If you don't want to watch it you don't have to. If you watch it and are offended, well each to their own. Just remember, if you can't laugh or don't have a sense of humour you might as well be dead...
The Bubble (2022)
The haters gonna hate...
Why all the hate for this movie? Sure, its not laugh out loud, but it is funny. Perhaps a little to high brow for the reviewers slinging off at it or perhaps they just didn't understand the gags. Not the best Apatow showing, but not as bad as everyone's making out (no pun intended)
Seuwingkizeu (2018)
F@#% Ideology
What a surprise. Starts off semi comedy and ends up shocking you with the very real brutality of war. Drags you in slowly, gets your heart involved and then whacks you with a sledge hammer. Well worth its 2hr run time.
No Time to Die (2021)
What a Dog's Breakfast...
I was so looking forward to this instalment of the Bond franchise and can only say I was highly disappointed. No wonder they had to bring in Phoebe Waller-Bridges to help with the script - and yet the movie still sucks majorly. The movie tries too hard to be an ode to previous Bond movies, and yet fails on all accounts. Sorry to say, this is one of the worst Bond movies in the series.
Boss Level (2020)
Cartoon Violence Fun
Just watched this after sitting thru the agonisingly bad 'The Harder They Fall'. And what a relief. A groundhog movie full of ultra violence, including decapitations, but all done in a fun way - sorta like Road Runner & Wylie Coyote. People being blown to bits only to come to life and having to repeat it all over again.
Most fun I've had watching Netflix in a long time and highly recommended if you want some escapist fun.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Great Cast, Great Satire
This is one fun movie with it's tongue in cheek pokes at Trump, Social Media, manic billionaires, the far right and perhaps even a nod at mankind's reaction to the corona virus. Go in with an open mind and be ready to soak in a movie that is satire at it's best from beginning to end. And stay thru the end credits for not one but two extras. Worth the wait...
The Harder They Fall (2021)
Been there - done that before
Expecting something a little different - especially considering the mainly African American cast and producers - I have to say this wasn't a new take on the classic westerns. Just a rehash of stock standard baddies v the goodies. The only difference is that none of the characters are actually goodies or have any redeeming features. The Taranesque violence is probably meant to add to the story, but we've seen it all before and done a lot better. Overall, apart from the twist at the end, a pretty disappointing 2 hours.
Coming 2 America (2021)
meh
Ok so Coming To America wasn't a ground-breaker, but it was pretty harmless rainy day entertainment. I thought #2 would be an improvement, but sad to say it was just meh.
The storyline was basically the same as the 1st rendition, and the laughs were far and few between. Even when it was self deprecating, making jokes about unneeded sequels it fell a little flat. Having said that, it filled a couple of hours, was pretty inoffensive, and made me laugh a couple of times.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
funny until pants you wet
The funniest satirical movie.... no the funniest comedy full stop I've seen for a long time.
The nude wrestling scene alone is worth the admission price.
There is one problem with the movie - the audience laughs so hard that you need to see it more than once to hear all the lines... or as Borat would say - "Funny until pants you wet. Niiice!"
Some may find Borat offensive, but the reality is that all he is doing is pointing out the stupidity and utter redneckedness of a portion of the American populace.
The nice touch is that the minority groups - the Jewish couple, the black Americans and the prostitute are the ones who come out as the honest hearted, open minded decent folk.
Stuart Little 2 (2002)
little hi...little ho hum
I've never been one for rodents. For some people it's spiders, but in my case, mice and rats scare the proverbial out of me. That was until two years ago when a mouse by the name of Stuart made the biggest impact of any disease carrying animal since Mickey. He stole a place in the heart of the masses.
Well, the little fella's back, and this time going through a bit of a teenage crisis. Boys will be boys, and I suppose mice, mice - so there comes a time when impressing the fairer sex seems all important. So when a mouse, brought up by humans, falls in love with a bird it should make for an interesting tale. Unfortunately it doesn't.
Sure, Stuart is still incredibly cute, his love interest, Margalo, does have a certain nubile air about her and the villain, Falcon, is suitably evil, but the script gives them very little to work with. The theatre packed full of youngsters (the best test of a family movie) were a good indication that Stuart Little 2 lacked the x factor that the first movie had. While they didn't make endless journeys to the little boy's & girl's room, they didn't laugh that much either. There were no ooohs and ahhhs of amazement. As they left, there was no excited chatter. Perhaps the biggest problem is that Stuart Little 2 is too cutesy pie, even for the littlies in the audience. The jokes, which are far and few between, fall flat.
The first Stuart Little had more of an edge to it (thanks to a script by M. Night Shyalaman), and with kids growing up so fast these days needed it. In its attempt to be an uplifting family movie, Stuart Little 2 has become over sanitised with the end result being a lack lustre sterile movie.
Now I have to say the computer generated characters are so life like it is hard to tell where reality begins and ends. Every hair on Stuart's ears is a work of art, and he still has (thanks to Michael J Fox's voicing) a charmingly mischievous side to him. Problem is, Stuart Little 2 is a little hi, little ho-hum.
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Groovy baby, yeah
Yeah baby yeah - Austin's back and funnier than ever. Forget what all the elitist critics have said in their efforts to belittle Mike Myers latest effort. Goldmember is truly funny in the laugh out loud, roll around in the aisles sense.
Unlike other franchises which seem to struggle with number 2 (no pun intended), and by number three are ready for the scrap heap, Austin Powers gets funnier with each new instalment. This time around, the humour is very British. I couldn't help thinking of Benny Hill and Morecambe & Wise in some of the scenes - I'm sure they're smiling in their graves.
And despite all its silliness, some of the humour is truly brilliant and witty. The opening scene for example - and no I won't spoil it for you - will have to go down in history as one of cinema's funniest moments. Another scene is a wonderful, albeit tongue in cheek, salute to West Side Story.
There are also a lot of things happening in the background - if you keep your eyes open. Dr. Evil's lair and sub have innumerable OSH style signs on the wall, which, if you're quick enough to catch them make fun of the world's current obsession with safety at work, even if your work is world destruction.
Adding to the characters we've already come to know and love are Goldmember, an evil Dutch megalomaniac and Foxy Cleopatra, Austin's new sidekick. We also get to meet Austin's dad Nigel Powers (Michael Caine) and find out a little about Austin's early life. While all the actors deliver wonderfully manic characterisation, special mention has to go to Seth Green as Scott Evil. In every AP's movie he's been a stand-out, and more than delivers the goods again.
There are a surprising number of twists and secrets revealed, all with excellent comedic timing. It also leaves everything nicely set up for the next instalment, and I say bring it on.
Bottomline, Goldmember is one crazy movie baby. Be prepared to laugh until your sides hurt.
Monsters, Inc. (2001)
a little too schmaltzy
contains some spolilers...
If you can remember the days when you had to stand for `God Save The Queen', they had a half time and only one screen at your local cinema, you'll love Monsters Inc. The fact it starts off with a digital cartoon short will take you back to the heady days when Warner Bros. cartoons were the stock standard introduction to any movie.
Then you're thrown head long into the world of Monsters Inc., the company that provides electricity to the city of Monstropolis by collecting the energy generated by terrified children's screams. The opening scene is pure genius, with a trainee scream collector as terrified of his victim as the child is of him. But not all is what you think, with a nice twist thrown in right at the beginning.
The best scream catcher at the factory is Sulley (John Goodman), who we meet as he prepares for his day's work under the watchful eye (pun intended) of his trainer and mentor Mike Wazowski (Billy Crystal). At the plant he's everybody's hero, while chameleon like monster, Randall Boggs is obsessed with knocking him off his perch.
Things go awry when a small child enters the world of monsters. The monsters are as terrified of children as children are of them, thinking that children carry terrible viruses that will destroy their hidden world. But Sulley connects with the intruder, whom he names Boo, and decides it's up to him and Mike to save her. That means getting her back through the closet door that will return her to the world of humans. But it's easier said than done, with Randall and Monsters Inc. CEO, Henry J Waternoose, doing their best to banish Sulley and Mike while using Boo for their evil means.
Telling you too much more would spoil the story, but I can tell you, that since Disney are involved, it has a happy ending.
And that was the problem for me, not that I don't appreciate happy endings. I found Monsters Inc. to be too schmaltzy for my taste. The continual use of violins in the soundtrack became a little overbearing and were used as signposts to let you know that now was a good time to get emotional.
Perhaps the writers should have taken note of their own story line - that children don't scare as easily any more. A few more scares and less sugar would have made a world of difference. It also lacked the wit of Shrek - perhaps the best animated feature this year?
Now, please don't get me wrong and take it that Monsters Inc. is a bad movie; it's just that it could have been a lot better. If you want to know what it could have been like, check out Real Monsters on Nickelodeon, a cartoon that has real wit for the adults and plenty of slapstick for the littlies.
But when it comes to the perfect kids movie for over the school holidays, you couldn't go far wrong with Monsters Inc. Children will love the delightful, almost cuddly monsters that aren't really scary at all. The animation is of the highest standard, with everyone of Sulley's hairs lovingly rendered and attention to the smallest details making the movie life like.
But perhaps the best thing about Monsters Inc. is that it will help your children realise that all those scary things that go bump in the night are just doing their job.
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
warning, contains minor spoilers
I've been sitting at my keyboard for quite a while now trying to decide what to write about A.I, the movie conceived by Stanley Kubrick and taken over by Steven Spielberg. What should have been the movie event of the year has left me rather perplexed. It's four days since I watched it, and I still don't know whether I liked it or not. Perhaps the fact that I have woken up at night more than once thinking about it, and that it still has me thinking shows it may be better than the sum of it's parts.
The confused state it's left me in could be attributed to the confused style of story telling. Is A.I. sci-fi, a fairy tale, a moralistic story? It can't be pigeon holed with a plot that veers from light hearted scenes to ones that are so dark and menacing they're not suitable for children. It's as if there is a battle going on between Kubrick's dark austere style and Spielberg's childlike take on life. The robotic teddy is a case in point. As the constant companion of David (Haley Joel Osment) the first mecha to have feelings, it is aimed squarely at a young audience.
The next thing you know, you're viewing a Flesh Fair, where mecha's are destroyed in a gladiatorial ring. The crowds roar in appreciation as acid is poured over one mecha and call out for more as another is shot through a giant propeller. It's into this big wide world that David is thrown after his human parents decide they can't have a mecha that is able to love and have feelings of jealousy.
So we go from family in crisis to road trip when David meets up with Gigolo Joe (Jude Law) at the Flesh Fair. Together they escape their oppressors and head off in search of the Blue Fairy, the only one who can turn David into a real boy. Sound familiar? Joe suggest visiting Dr.Know, who ironically knows everything. He resides in the heart of a vice ridden city of pleasure and is a cartoon character. It was at this point that I really had to suspend belief. In a effort to make A.I. suitable family fare, Spielberg lost the edge that Kubrick would have given the movie.
But, and it's a big but, Spielberg must have got something right, because the nearly two and a half hours of A.I. literally fly by. The movie draws you in right from the beginning with it's pseudo psychology and before you know it you're at the end of a rather bouncy ride. This is helped by the excellent performances from Osment and Law. Osment inhabits nearly every scene and exudes a sense of desperate wonder. Law adds a comical edge to his character that helps to relieve the sometimes overtly preachy tone.
Bottomline, A.I. isn't the type of movie you expect from Spielberg. It's a thinking persons movie with very little action and an almost lazy style, albeit punctuated by mind numbing images. Some scenes leave an indelible impression on your mind.
I still don't quite know whether A.I. is a great movie or not. Would it have been better under Kubrick's hand? Unfortunately we'll never know. If you decide to see A.I. leave the kids at home, they won't get it and could end up having nightmares. And be warned A.I. will be with you for quite a while.
The Mexican (2001)
Marraige made in heaven????
Fate meant that eventually producers would bring Julia and Brad together. After all, it would be bound to be a marriage made in money heaven. Fate says you will most likely go to see The Mexican due to the pulling power of it's two stars. Fate will also have it that you'll walk out, wondering whether you just wasted 2 hours. Not that The Mexican is bad, but it's not really that good either. The worst parts of the movie are when Jerry and Samantha (Brad & Julia) are on screen together. There's no spark whatsoever, and their constant bickering.... well, it just irks. The true magic is between marshmallow hitman (soft on the outside and inside) Leroy (James Gandolfini) and Sam. They spend a lot of the movie together, and help to lift what otherwise would have been a total waste of time. Leroy's job is to `regulate funkiness' and he does it by acting as a listening ear to Sam's romantic problems. It's like an episode of The Soprano's, with our Tony's role reversed to the quack. And while Gandolfini is a fine actor, you can't help but think of Tony Soprano every scene he appears in. Julia Roberts does surprisingly well with the inane dialogue she's given through a lot of the movie. Her character is delivered warts and all, going for the slightly dowdy look rather than the big mouthed beauty we've become accustomed to. But every time she lets go of that wonderful smile, the screen lights up. Brad Pitt on the other hand is a major disappointment. He looks like he doesn't really know what he's doing in this movie. His gestures are over the top, and his comic timing, well, let's just say it needs work. Not that it's all his fault. The Mexican walks an uneasy line between romantic comedy and crime drama. Sadly, it fails to deliver on either account. It seems writer, J.H.Wyman, was trying to capture the heady mix of Lock Stock, and give it a Hollywood twist. But it's been twisted so far that it snapped. Clever writers entwine the threads of a story-line, usually resulting in a strong tale. The threads in The Mexican never quite meet, so that you're left with a handful of string. The Mexican, does however, deliver the odd brilliant line - `Guns don't kill people, postal workers do', `I'm not gonna Kill you, just shoot you. It's the American way' and `You've managed to Forrest Gump your way through this'. But the small handful of witticisms are not enough to rescue the movie. The common link between the characters and story lines is an ancient pistol that carries a curse. We're reminded of the fact ad nauseam. And it doesn't work. By the time you get the final telling of the 'legend', you wish the pistol had never been made. Bottomline, The Mexican has it's moments - most of them between Roberts and Gandolfini. The rest of the movie is a poor excuse to bring two big box office names together. But fate says that when I diss a movie, more of you go to see it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.
Nurse Betty (2000)
deserved an oscar
Obsession - it makes for a great story. It's something Hollywood writers picked up on a long time ago, and has made for some of the great moments of cinema. Nurse Betty can now be added to that list. A tale of people obsessed with others lives, real or imagined, that is quirky and different enough to leave a lasting impression. I would even go as far as to say it is the best movie I have seen this year - fresh, darkly funny, enthralling, original, magical, clever, and with stand out performances from the cast. Let's start with Renee Zelwegger as the Betty of the title. It's actually hard to know where to start she's so good. Her character exudes home baked goodness, with an air of naivety and innocence that emanates from those beady little eyes. Couple the expressive eyes with body language that is scarily real and you have one of the stand out performances of the year. It comes as no surprise that the role has won her numerous awards and should have been nominated for Best Actress at the Oscars. When Betty see's her husband rubbed out by a couple of hit men, she recedes into the imaginary world of her favourite soap opera, Reason to Love. She hits the road to find her true love, Dr. David Ravel, the shows ace heart surgeon. Close behind are the hit-men, hoping to find a mystery package in the boot of her car. So Nurse Betty becomes a road movie, with a host of interesting characters along the way. Everyone Betty meets is enchanted by her child like innocence, and not long after, rattled by the pursuing killers. An interesting yin and yang plot. Not that the hit men are your usual ruthless thugs. In fact, Charlie (Morgan Freeman) is a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. He enjoys sunsets and classical music. Plus he has a good work ethic, which he is doing his best to instill in his student, the over zealous Wesley (Chris Rock). Freeman, as is to be expected, is wonderful in his role, imbuing his character with a casual reality. The obsession he develops for Betty is handled with a finesse that makes it believable. The real surprise is Chris Rock in his best performance to date. When he opens his mouth, you expect his usual maniacal, 90 to the dozen impossible to understand dialogue. Instead, he delivers a refreshingly restrained performance with just a hint of edginess. In what I'd have to say is a salute to Back to the Future, Crispin Glover plays the role of journalist, Roy, every bit like his earlier character, George McFly. Even his hairstyle is the same. One of his lines in Nurse Betty is stolen (for want of a better word) directly from BttF. He has the home grown mid-west country boy down to a tee. Bottomline, to be able to make a truly witty, albeit dark, comedy out of a widow's post-traumatic obsession with a soap star is an accomplishment in itself. The fact that the characters all seem so real is an added bonus. Nurse Betty is a real treat, and stands miles ahead of a lot of recent fare. I've heard it described as Forrest Gump meets Pulp Fiction' and would have to say that's pretty accurate. While romantic and often sweet, it is punctuated with violence and occasionally frightening. But don't let that scare you off - Nurse Betty should be top of your must see list. My pick of the year so far.