smits59 Reviews

The Lincoln Lawyer (2022– )

Just don't care

[5/10 · 27 May 2022]

The first episodes are decent but ten episodes is way too many to keep it interesting. Just too much of the same, a lead character who is just not intresting enough. I just didi't care anymore.

Raumpatrouille - Die phantastischen Abenteuer des Raumschiffes Orion (1966)

So bad an yet capivating..

[8/10 · 11 March 2021]

The writers of Orion didn't have a clue about space and its distances or any concept of speed and time. Spoiler alert; heating our sun doesn't heat any planets outside our solar system. Or a rogue planet from an other solar system traveling at 150.000 km/hour must have been sent eons ago to reach our solar system in Orions time. Orion was filmed at the same time as the first Star trek series. This is technically so inferior they are, forgive me the pun, light years apart.

And yet the show is captivating. Mostly just a few actors in a very small space (Orion must be the smallest star ship if all time) and their simple problems. Some movie critic might explain why this is so fun to watch, I can't. But I love this.

Last of the Summer Wine (1973–2010)

If the BBC had had a bit more courage.....

[8/10 · 12 December 2020]

Due to Covid a had a lot of time on my hands; so I decided to watch something a had seen some of the later episodes of; LOTSW. I watched the entire series in three weeks. The later episodes are friendly and mildly entertaining but to my surprise the earlier ones are much more gritty, much rawer and so much better! So much so that it even made me wonder; why was the series so watered down over time? It must have been to please a general audience. But so much was lost this way. If you watch the series in quick succession, as I did, the change is very obvious. The language becomes gentler, the actors get replaced by more polished substitutes. Even if the stay on, like Nora Batty or Cleggy, they lose their edges. Attitude towards women has to become PC. Even Compo's teeth have to be fixed. But with this it loses a lot of honesty and in the end it is just mildly entertaining instaead of a wonderful social satire. How great this could have been if the BBC had had a bit more courage.

Iron Fist (2017–2018)

From fair to worse

[3/10 · 16 August 2017]

Iron Fist starts out as an interesting idea; a man comes back in an environment he left as a boy. And he is not welcomed with open arms. So what does he do? It turns out that he is a expert fighter. But there are hardly any fights and he meets some nice people. Okay, this looks promising I thought; a series not so much focused on the fight stuff but a story of a real person, with some skills (it is still is a fantasy). But pretty soon the series veers of into the worst kind of gore and vile. Not long into the series and suddenly people are graphically murdered and horrible mutilation of living people and corpses is shown. So I switched off; I don't mind some gore or violence when it serves a purpose; I loved Alien and Aliens. I like good fantasy; some of the X-men films weren't too bad. But in this series it serves no other purpose then shocking. What where the makers thinking? If you want to shock me, please do it in episode one, so that I know what to expect. But starting so nice and then going so crude is a form of deceiving which I hate.

In the Loop (2009)

Funny? Like bullfight

[4/10 · 29 November 2016]

Of course this is a parody on Blair and the lies that started the second Iraq war. But don't believe the 'clever' or 'fun' reviews.

In the loop doesn't contain two jokes. The so called 'fun' is in people bullying, shouting at and demeaning other people. It is the same kind of fun you get at a bullfight or cockfight. No character is explained. You have to believe that either everybody is very stupid and/or cowardly or an utter bully. Nobody is normal or has morals (maybe there's one exception.

If you don't like this review please go f*ck your self. And if you don't like my language, definitely don't watch this movie (or go and watch and you'll see why.

Wild River (1960)

Overly directed

[5/10 · 8 August 2016]

Try to see this movie before you spent any money on it, as I did.

Sure, there is a lot of beautiful scenery. And some of the acting is great; Jo van Fleet is brilliant! But Elia Kazan's directing is too heavy handed for Clift and Remmick. Clift does his line and then performs the face he is told to show. But there is no connection between the line and the face. Remmick does the same, but since it her début I can't hold that against her. This effect makes this movie difficult to watch.

The story is full off holes too: the relation between Clift and Remmick starts totally unbelievable. Wouldn't a mother think of her kids? Her house is her future but check out the map in the beginning of the movie and form your own opinion. (since I'm trying to avoid spoilers I can't go into details)

Ex Machina (2014)

No big surprise

[6/10 · 11 September 2015]

The saying Ex Machina is missing a word: Deus, or God. The movie Ex Machina is missing a surprise. The story is about; when is a machine a life form. Some reviews have given this film many stars because of the originality and surprises in the story. But if you've ever read anything by a little known writer by the name of Philip K. Dick, you know; Blade Runner, Jurasic Park, there are no surprises in this movie. Not even the ending. The acting is not to bad but the roles are very stereotypical, unless you've never read mister Dick of course. And there is no action and too little humor to save the movie from being mediocre. Nice idea, been there, done that.

Lie to Me (2009–2011)

Too good

[4/10 · 15 February 2015]

Lie to me starts as "something different"; cases are solved by watching people. I enjoyed the first few episodes but then it turns out that Dr. Lightman is always right and has no faults. Even when he is wrong he is right and all his so called "weaknesses" are just there to prove how strong he is. Pretty soon I wanted him just to be wrong just once. But he knows everything and can do anything. He can seduce any woman, beat every man at everything and abuse everybody, but they still love him.

So half way series two I gave up. I can,t handle perfection. Compare to Columbo: you knew he would always solve the case. But he wasn't a womanizer, a weapons expert and a super fighter. So; Columbo good, Dr. Lightman too good.

Heroes (II) (2006–2010)

No more Heroes; it gets too complicated.

[6/10 · 19 September 2014]

I enjoyed the first series of Heroes very much and gave it 8 stars. The story of people who have strange powers and are seeking a meaning for those powers in their lives, makes a good series. But then the writers loose all inspiration and the only thing they can think of is "MORE". More heroes, more time-travel and more complications. And I didn't care anymore.

Should you watch Heroes? Definitely. But be prepared for confusion and loss of interest as you go true the series. Most of the acting is good and the there is plenty production value. The directing varies a bit, but, overall, is not too bad.

Generation War (2013)

Criminaly bad! historic monstrosity!

[3/10 · 30 April 2014]

If Generation War had been a SF-story it could have been a decent movie. The acting is no too bad and the production value is okay. But it is supposed to be about a deeply moving part of our history. A part of history in which the Germans played an evil part.

Many people where abused and murdered by Germans or for the German, and only German, good, from 1932 onwards. A movie that let's Jewish live happy in Germany in 1941 and where "die Kristalnacht" is only mentioned as an incident from the past is a historic falsification on a dangerous scale.

Don't like this movie because it is well made. Hate it because it is a very dangerous piece of propaganda. I do like Germany and that is why such false propaganda hurts so much. Germany 2014 doesn't need to lie about it's past. It was horrid, but slowly it is becoming the past. Movies like this contain the risk of forgetting the real past en thus repeating it's mistakes.

Chasing Madoff (2010)

Chaotic truth

[4/10 · 17 April 2014]

The story of Bernie Madoff is well known; the biggest Ponzie-scheme ever! Less well known is how Madoff was de-cloaked. Chasing Madoff tells this story, but not in a very well executed way. The speed of the movie is more like a MTV-clip than a documentary. And I found this distracting. Also quit a lot of the time the movie constitutes of people telling how good they themselves were in catching Madoff. With all due respect for the people who brought Madoff to justice; I would have enjoyed it much more if the story was told at a slower pace and if at had been a story about the hunters. All The Presidents Men is an great example what could have been....

Moon (2009)

What a stinker

[2/10 · 21 June 2013]

Moon is an incredible bad movie. Un-original, bad continuity, horrible acting. How can this stinker of a movie score so high on IMDb? Everything in this movie has been done before and has been done better. In an other movie an other computer behaves outside of it's program. But in the other movie (2001 of course) there is a reason. In Moon there is not, it just does. In Moon the lead character does not wear a spacesuit in his buggy. That is of course unless the script has the buggy break down later on, then he wears his suit. Oh, and the main character is very vulnerable, unless he has to stow away as cargo that is shot at 25 G's into space then he becomes superman. No more about this movie; it's a extreme stinker. It would even stink on the airless moon.

Skyfall (2012)

Not good, hardly Bond, but enjoyable.....

[9/10 · 13 March 2013]

Skyfall is one of those films that has a lot of flaws. For quit a good list of these flaws please see Vijay Dinanath's review. Also nowhere close enough tongue in cheek to be a classic Bond. Also not enough heroism; I don't want to spoil anything but why did the girl have to die? And yet, I enjoyed the total experience of the movie. Mostly because it somehow has a mellow tone. There is no more gore then necessary which is quit an relief from all those way over the gore-top movies. Skyfall is way better and much more enjoyable than any Christopher Nolan movie. Yes it has flaws, lacks logic and humour, but I loved most of it, so 9/10.

Quantum of Solace (2008)

No Bond, but who cares

[8/10 · 15 October 2012]

Quantum of Solace has close to nothing to do with the James Bond of latter days. This James Bond is not an English scoundrel in a fun world. He is just an silly American action hero with an English accent. But as action flicks go; this is not an unpleasant movie. Poor plot, pointless villain and lack of love-interest for Bond are made up for by an action packed roller coaster. So if you expect an other true Bondmovie you will be disappointed. But for an evening mindless action entertainment this is just fine. Daniel Craig plays an fine action hero. There's a lot of production even though the CGI is sometimes a bit too evident.

Léon: The Professional (1994)

No brains preferred

[6/10 · 30 December 2011]

Leon is a well acted but poorly written movie. Portman and specially Reno give an very good performance. But Besson fails at every level. The story is nothing less then stupid. OK you get sucked in for about an hour but then the last bit of credibility is lost. Only if you are prepared to believe anything, there is a flick left. I won't go into spoilers but if you believe that when you go give two policemen a headache the whole police-force collapses then this is a great movie. It's just as believable as The Fifth Element but pretends to be much more. If Besson had kept to making a farce it could have been a great movie! But his attempt on "feelings" makes it an absolute no-brainer. Enjoy but don't think.

Death at a Funeral (2007)

You won't die laughing.

[5/10 · 14 November 2011]

Death at a funeral is about some honest and some less honest people who attend a funeral. But it's not about real people. And it's not about funny characters either. And black comedy doesn't mean free of laughs, does it? Death at a Funeral is a not a funny flick. Most jokes can be seen coming minutes ahead of reaching the screen. And most jokes are just lame. Some make you chuckle for two seconds, one or two make you smile but none are really funny. The story is very inconsistent. SPOILER COMING The movie takes place, as you may have guessed, at a funeral. And at the end of the movie the son very sincerely has font memories of his father. But none of the characters seems very grief stricken during the proceedings. Some may grief for a few minutes but most of the time the don't seem to remember where they are or why funerals are held. OK the acting is not to bad so it's not all negative but just not good enough. Good idea, bad execution, poor movie.

Year One (2009)

Avoid Year One!

[3/10 · 29 August 2010]

Year One is one of the worst turn-offs I experienced in watching movies for over thirty years. It could have been funny but it is horrid.

Harold Ramis has lost my credit as a good movie-maker with this movie. Once he made the wonderful Groundhog Day and participated in the very funny Ghostbusters movies. Year One is neither wonderful nor funny. There are hardly any good jokes, there is way too much useless violence and there's no meaningfull story to be found.

Jack Black is only rude and never funny. And it's not only Black who flunks but there isn't a single piece of proper acting in the entire movie.

Avoid Year One unless you want to join the team of "Stop Harold Ramis".

The Dark Knight (2008)

What a joke!

[2/10 · 1 May 2010]

When a write this, this farce of a movie is ranked 10 in the top 250. Has anyone who rates this movie so highly actually seen it? The timing in almost every action is so unbelievable wrong. Anything happening a split second earlier or later would not have lead to the outcome portrait in the movie. I love comics and the don't have to be logical. But if you a make an illogical movie please make is obvious that you are making a farce. There is no logic in a house that just has been raided by the thugs to be proclaimed as "the safest place in Gotham". just a few scenes later. Don't make everything as realistic as possible, make a comic-movie. The badman-series where lovely to watch because they understood this to be true. OK, the acting is not to bad but almost all the action is horrible predictable.

Seven Samurai (1954)

Intens, but not flawless

[10/10 · 26 December 2006]

Let me first say: the seven samurai is a very gripping movie. There is hardly a moment in the movie that is not absolutely worth your time, which is quite a feat for a movie that is over three hours long.

But the movie is not perfect. Like in most older Japanese movies the characters are almost cartoon-like, and so is their behavior. So much even that you can watch the Japanese-language version, which you should, without subtitles and still understand everything that is going on. The genius of Kurosawa gets away with it. Almost any other director would not have been able to make a serious movie in such a cartoon-style. And then there is the goofs. People switch positions when viewpoints change back and forth. People get stabbed again and again and still walk away as if tickled by a feather. How does this fit a movie in which every shot is supposed to be handcrafted?

None the less, this is a wonderful movie and a landmark in movie-history. But one should see all of the movie and not just it's magic. So in my opinion The Seven Samurai is a very intense, very worthwhile movie. But it's not flawless.

Never on Sunday (1960)

Greek Delight

[9/10 · 19 November 2006]

Never on Sunday is a beautiful, down to earth, romantic comedy. It's a feel-good movie without the Hollywood over-sweetness. A well to do American is educated by a Greek courtesan who is not so sophisticated but full of life. And life proves to be more important then money or sophistication. And there even is a happy ending even though is one with a tear, if you a a sucker for such things. The music is prefect. The title-song is just great. The scenery makes you want to got to Greece for your next holiday. In an nutshell; this is one Greek Delight. Watch it on a cold Sunday and you'll get all warm inside. Watch it on a hot summers-night and you'll believe your in Greece already.

The Mouse That Roared (1959)

Absolute delight

[9/10 · 15 October 2006]

The Mouse that Roared tells the story of the smallest country in the world declaring war on the US of A. They want to loose and get their own Marshall-aid. Will this work? Of course not!

Jack Arnold mostly directed for television. But he also made some notable movies. The Incredible Shrinking Man is probably the most famous. The Mouse That Roared is surely the funniest movie he ever made.

The Mouse deals with the same issue as Dr Strangelove: the risk of world destruction as a result from the cold war. Both pictures have the same multiple star: Peter Sellers. And both are very enjoyable. Strangelove is the better one but the Mouse comes a close second. If you watch this movie check out the pace of the music. In the final is has reached such speed MTV would be proud.

Please try this lovely movie and vote it in the top 100.

King Kong (2005)

Beautiful but uneven.

[7/10 · 1 October 2006]

Okay, let's get it out: Peter Jackson made an very uneven King Kong. Although it is a quit true remake of the famous 1933 one, it doesn't feel the same. It is very beautiful filmed and looks and sounds great. But there are too many silly mistakes. Like huge animals with a good meal already in their mouth that would care for a meager peck in the form of a slender blonde. Some mistakes are caused by the great way the movie is made. In very sharp pictures you can see how Kong tosses dinosaurs around. This makes Kong a Giant, with a capital G. But when a few sailors put a rope on him he can't get free. You could believe this in 1933, but is doesn't fit in 2005.

The movies is over two and a half hours long. Most of the film is very enjoyable, but the mistakes spoil the feel. And movies is about feeling not techniques. So I give it 6 stars.

Down Periscope (1996)

comedy without sharp edges

[8/10 · 16 September 2006]

Down Periscope is not a "Great Movie". But then again very few flicks are. So if your looking for entertainment instead of great wisdom this is a "great movie", without the capitals. No sharp sexism or graphic violence spoil this light comedy about a bunch of misfits who are assigned to a antique submarine. They are set to fail their tasks so that a general can get his extra star. They must take on the entire US-navy with it's nuclear submarines. But they are underdogs and this is a comedy so you can guess the outcome. But you root for those underdogs and this makes it a very entertaining movie. Watch and enjoy ******** (eight stars that is)

Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993)

highest joke-density ever.

[8/10 · 8 August 2006]

How can people not love this movie? There are so many jokes in it you haven't seen all of them if you watch the movie 10 times. If you have a copy of the movie on DVD just try counting the jokes in the kitchen-scene with Sadam. It is right at the beginning of the movie. Don't forget to count the fridge-contents. OK there is no proper story. OK this is certainly not a "good" movie but it is so much fun to watch. If you like'd the Naked Gun try this. If you are expecting Woody Allen go look elsewhere, Bullets over Broadway if I may suggest. This Part Deux might well be the movie with the highest joke-density ever. And the movie doesn't take itself serious. So why should you? It's not religion or politics, it's just good fun.