starcraftbw88 Reviews

Sissy (I) (2022)

Enjoyable

[8/10 · 9 February 2023]

Fundamentally a slasher, but the setup and narration was really quite interesting - to center the movie around the antagonist and introduce her in a way that invoked empathy, then slowly draining that from the viewers as the movie goes on. There is something menacing as the deaths get progressively more brutal; as Emma & friends turn from the bullies to the "normal" people and Sissy slowly reveals her madness. Integrating this narrative with the commentary on social media "influencers" was well done.

There were some implausibilities, such as Emma inviting the girl who stuck a shovel in another girls face to said girl's party, unbeknownst to her; or the somewhat silly ending - it is the sort of movie you have to be a little open-minded to the story and its characters and enjoy the ride. To be fair, many horrors are set up as such; despite that I enjoyed the movie more than I thought I would. There are some pacing issues, but otherwise I thought it was really good.

Creepshow: The Right Snuff/Sibling Rivalry (2021) Season 2, Episode 3

Happy with S2 so far

[8/10 · 21 December 2022]

Really enjoying these nice cameos sprinkled in, and it feels like each episode pairs a stronger entry with a weaker one. The runtimes are just enough where the episodes generally don't feel like they overstay their welcomes.

In this episode, The Right Snuff was the stronger of the two, with a twist at the end I have to admit I didn't see coming, reminiscent of some Twilight Zone/Outer Limits stuff. Sibling Rivalry was alright as a light comedy, got a few chuckles out of me, but the overall story was a bit of a miss. Starts off well enough, but then just fizzles out; the protagonist was just a little too annoying.

Terrifier 2 (2022)

Meh

[4/10 · 17 November 2022]

• 30-something year-olds playing teens, which wouldn't be a problem in itself if they looked not old. The story didn't even call for them to need to be teens, could've just made them college-aged or young adults.

• Some terrible acting, especially the protagonist's mother

• Got really wild and out there at the end, nothing explained or resolved

• Art becoming tired as a villain, the kills scenes were way too indulgent for my taste - the movie is over 2 hours

Immortal villains are not interesting

I liked the first one, it was mostly passable as a horror, but damn - this one went off the rails. What makes a good horror for me is when a story is somewhat plausible and is grounded in some kind of reality; the first act looked like it was setting up some actual lore and backstory for Art and the protagonist's dad, but it was all fruitless in the climax. I see a lot of comments saying "parody, parody, parody", but I don't think it even does that well. Skip all the dialogue and just string the kill scenes together and nothing of substance would be lost.

Long Story Short (2021)

Just fell flat for me

[3/10 · 10 January 2022]

Premise is kind of cool - made me want to watch it. MC is likeable, but nothing seems to come together in the extremely predictable end for me. There were some funny moments, but I never really bought into any of the romance or drama parts.

Nothing ever felt like anything was on the line as MC's actual goals were never established other than the imposed idea that we're to believe he needed to fight for a marriage he never experienced? Nothing ever felt established until conveniently necessary, such as the "love" the couple had that was never touched upon until the end of the movie or the idea that MC works too much - and the solution is he decides to take paid time off. Like, really? This was the result of his clairvoyance? That was what it was all for?

I'm still confused about what the movie is trying to communicate. MC seems like an alright fellow throughout the movie, he's never set up as someone in need of dramatic change or free, arbitrary, and unrelated insight into the future. It's really a mess.

Black Mirror: Nosedive (2016) Season 3, Episode 1

Decent concept, poor execution

[5/10 · 23 December 2021]

None of the characters were really likeable, even the truck driver was extreme in her views. The episode felt pretty hamfisted in its delivery - you can predict what the episode is about and how things will go in the first five minutes of watching, yet the simple concept of rating system is shoved down your throat for what felt like the entire first half of the movie. The social commentary felt very surface-level without nuance or layers to any of the characters or interactions - everyone sort of just did as expected and the ending was surprisingly unsatisfying. I thought the acting was pretty good, but it wasn't enough to save the story, for me.

Love Hard (2021)

A cringy, cute story with a good message

[7/10 · 8 November 2021]

The two MC's didn't have the greatest chemistry, Dobrev was miscast in my opinion. There were some cringy CRINGY moments and times where you need to suspend belief, the greatest one being that a Tinderella would have such a deep and expansive character change over some slight adversity. I really appreciate how the writers didn't just take the easy route and make Tag an asshole, because I was more than half expecting it. I thought it was an overall cute story some good messages (forgiveness, acceptance) that is especially relevant now more than ever.

Undone (2019–2022)

Boring LSD trip

[3/10 · 4 November 2021]

I don't know, I could never really get into the premise, the story never felt grounded in anything because you never knew what was or wasn't happening in her mind.

I made it to episode 4 mostly because Odenkirk is in it and the animation is interesting, but the story itself did not keep me interested and I found the self-righteous protagonist and her sister highly unlikeable.

Looking at some of these 10/10 reviews, it looks sketchy in that they give the most vague descriptions of what is good about the show. "Addictive, crazy, magical, insane. An excellent and inspiring series." What does this even mean?

They Look Like People (2015)

Boring

[2/10 · 12 November 2020]

A few minutes in... "Okay, this looks interesting"

15 minutes in... "Ah, it's kind of slow, nothing really seems to be happening - I'm sure the plot and characters are being set up and it'll get interesting soon"

30 minutes in... "Maybe this is just a slow burn movie where it'll all come together in the end, okay - so this guy with the beard seems unhinged... Oh god, I hope this isn't an hour and a half movie of him slowly going crazy in an artsy and boring way."

45 minutes in... "Well, I'm not really even paying attention any more, nothing is really happening, the fan blowing my bedsheet around is more engaging. I mean, it's nice watching these dudes have bro moments I guess."

60 minutes in... Never made it.

Harpoon (2019)

Pleasantly surprised

[8/10 · 30 October 2020]

Decent acting, good plot, and decent twist at the end; but the writing is where it shines. The movie never overstays it's welcome and the plot, humor, and characters just worked for me. You don't need big explosions, constant action, or crazy CGI effects, or big name actors to enjoy a movie.

What Keeps You Alive (2018)

"I need you to have a full stomach in case they do an autopsy"

[2/10 · 30 October 2020]

I've finally found it! The dumbest protagonist in a slasher film ever created! I've never struggled so hard to not immediately turn off a movie - just painful. The forest that is made up of exactly ONE area, the person falling of a cliff with a leg visibly broken walking in the next, or all bruises and signs of trauma from said fall gone with the use of makeup. Imagine having the ability to run away, but waiting until your hands are tied to attempt to do so. Comical villain, comical acting, writing that would insult that of a high school play. So so many nonsensical things said and done in such a short amount of time, it's almost impressive.

I can't imagine any actual human being not associated with the movie in some way giving it a positive review.

"Blot! Don't scrub! Scrubbing will embed the stain and forensics will spot it right away!"

Truth or Dare (2017 TV Movie)

Pure torture porn

[3/10 · 5 October 2020]

Not a fan of horrors where there's no chance to "win" or "beat the bad guy" - whether it happens or not is where a lot of suspense comes for me. The show is not scary, the premise is mildy interesting, but it falters off at some point when the movie breaks its own rules established when it starts to add conditions to the initial dares. It just gets too silly and stupid, so in the end the movie just felt like a bunch of torture porn scenes tied together. Not even gonna mention the lazy ending, or lack thereof.

A Soldier's Revenge (I) (2020)

Fake, bot reviews & ratings

[2/10 · 3 August 2020]

Boring, nonsensical story. I lasted to almost the 2-hour mark. No build-up of anything, no attachment to any of the characters, silly dialogue. Avoid.

The Ritual (I) (2017)

Boring

[4/10 · 25 November 2018]

Felt like somewhat of a slow burn, poorly paced, indie-type movie, without clever writing or a payoff at the end. It was extremely unsatisfying, and left me thinking "I sat through all that?!". The summary and title of the movie is basically what it is, nothing is ever further explained. Depending on how you interpret the plot (or lack thereof) and director's intention, the movie is either a garbage suspense/horror or a very weak attempt at allegory via the protagonist and the events that occur at the beginning of the movie. Just a hot mess.

Eighth Grade (2018)

6/10

[6/10 · 4 November 2018]

Cute movie, if not a little overrated, It's a nice coming-of-age story, but doesn't do anything too different from what movies have done in the past - and evoked little emotional investment from me. This was my main gripe really, the acting and characters were wonderful; but I found the story bland and forgettable, however relatable and believable. It's pretty average as far as the genre goes, but not something I'd give a second watch.

Ryde (2017)

Hot Garbage

[2/10 · 2 January 2018]

I really don't understand the rating over 6. It's a cool premise, perhaps its only redeeming quality; and the reason I didn't give this a 1. The story is non-existent, acting bad, characters stupid, and the movie is just boring in general. It felt like a bad student film. With all the fake reviews and ratings on IMDB now days, it's probably better to turn to smaller sites like TMDB for ratings by actual people. Shit like this is why the genre gets a bad rap.

Goosebumps (2015)

Average

[6/10 · 3 February 2016]

About what I expected, even as a fan of the books when I were younger - it was a very average (but not bad) movie. It had the comical, cheesy, familiar tone book readers have come to expect from the PG horror; it transferred over to the movie pretty well (save for anything actually scary), though maybe a few too many bad puns and jokes for my taste. The movie did alright, I'm not really feeling there's anything specific I'd like to bash or praise about it. I probably enjoyed it a bit more as a fan of the books, because the references are in there. Nostalgia probably kicked up my score a point, the movie did not impress on any fronts, but again, exactly what I expected out of the movie.

The Martian (2015)

A very average movie with uneven tones and a lack of substance

[5/10 · 25 January 2016]

I felt it was overly predictable and uninspired. It felt like there were to much overextended scenes of the sciency type explanations and NASA/crowds cheering for everything that happens.

There were far too much characters introduced and most weren't developed - some didn't seem to serve a purpose, aside from one scene, if that. I gave the movie a 5/10, it's far from a bad movie, but everything about it felt average and I thought Interstellar and Gravity were more entertaining as far as recent space movies go. The Martian lacked substance and emotion - I never really found myself invested in anything; not to mention the lack of tension, it felt like it kind of just dragged on to the end I concluded about 20 minutes in.

The Visit (I) (2015)

Disappointed

[2/10 · 16 January 2016]

Shyamalan is such a hack now days, this movie was straight terrible. It drug out an immediately predictable story with long pointless sequences like a white kid rapping and dumb decisions by the protagonists like the sister going into to the basement while leaving her brother alone with crazies. And the payoff was about as good as a Chinese fortune cookie.

The movie itself is not scary, the "twist" didn't even feel like a twist because it's quite apparent within the first 10 minutes of the movie and the constant foreshadowing - most of the movie is foreshadowing something the audience already sees coming - with cheap jump scares and ridiculously slow scenes that have no tension. The pacing of the movie is abysmal, it did a better job as horse tranquilizer than something one might call entertainment. I didn't go into the movie expecting much based off Shyamalan's recent stuff, but I was highly disappointed.

Cold in July (2014)

Half a movie

[5/10 · 16 November 2014]

The acting in this movie is actually pretty good and there is some character development, but there are major plot lines that just get dropped midway through the movie. It starts off well enough, but at some point, all believable motivation is lost for our protagonist to actually continue in the story. In fact, the whole second half is another movie.

The opening plot is about dirty cops lying to Richard about who he killed to draw out Sam Shepard so that they can kill him 1920's style by tying him to train tracks. We never actually find out WHY they wanted to do that, nor do we ever hear from the dirty cops past the midway point. The writer just forgot to write about them.

The story then leads into Sam actually being a good guy, as he was just tricked by the police, then we find out his son Freddy got caught up with the Dixie mafia and now he's under protection or something, so now Sam wants to find his son, he does, then he sees something that makes him want to kill his son and Rich tags along just because. Nothing ever happens with the Dixie mafia by the way.

Richard, the protagonist is portrayed as a somewhat timid character - one whose hands were shaking when he loaded a gun, a character that was so nervous that his finger slipped on the trigger. Yet he's suddenly so curious to find out who he really killed. Enough to leave his family to go duck hunting with his new bros. He doesn't find out.

Movie is a mess.

Oculus (2013)

Silly, predictable plot

[5/10 · 2 September 2014]

It's not that it was poorly done or acted, in fact, the acting was quite strong; but everything was too predictable for me. The parallels drawn between the past and present was interesting, but ultimately pointless because you already know the path the past storyline takes as it's conclusion is already stated in the beginning of the movie. The differing viewpoints between the siblings was far more interesting, but never fully utilized.

The plot failed more than anything; for a supposedly bright girl to devise such a poor "plan" to defeat a mirror that manipulates people. As the mirror manipulates people, there was a HUGE lack of foresight in her plan to begin with. And the moment you see the incredibly stupid "insurance" setup she's done, you wonder why she doesn't just release it herself to begin with - which is when you realize it's a cheap plot device for one of them to die.

Steins;Gate (2011–2015)

Could've Been Great

[7/10 · 27 May 2014]

The problem with pulling off a good time travel series or movie is that they have to establish their own rules and then not break them, otherwise turning the plot into a bit of a contrived mess. Steins;Gate almost avoids this, but unfortunately, I felt it fell a bit short in that respect - I don't want to ruin anything so I won't discuss it further, but it was a decent effort. The voice acting is good, the story is alright, I don't have any complaints about the pacing, and the series was definitely funny when it wanted to be - perhaps its strongest point. It does the drama-comedy mixture well, not going to far in one direction at a time.

I loved the protagonist, he was a really likable character, and amazingly voiced. Most of them were, but I didn't enjoy Mayushi as much as the series wanted me too; just not my cup of tea. I'm not a fan of over-the-top cutesy characters just for the sake of being over-the-top cutesy characters. It just felt a bit lazy and forced here. I mean, maybe if they made her younger, as I don't think the age disparity between her and Okabe would really affect their sister-brother relationship. I mean, she was cute, but also came off as having some kind of medical condition at times.

It also bothered me that the other characters were as young, but at a completely different level of maturity, I'm not sure what making them all of high school-aged accomplished, they're never shown going to school. One of them, who is 17, even owns a cafe. Maybe it's a cultural thing, maybe in Japan people of that age are REALLY independent and do things like rent out a place as a pseudo lab, give lectures to doctors thrice their senior, wear their jacket halfway on, and open cafes. But for me, it was a lot of these small things that just pull me out of the story a bit.

With that said the story was intriguing and clever at times. It definitely kept me watching until the end, although I felt the series lasted two episodes too long, I was still okay with the final conclusion; it wasn't bad by any means, nor was the series. I'll say it was good, but it could've been great.

Attack on Titan (2013–2023)

A great anime so far (S1)

[9/10 · 23 May 2014]

It's been a while since I've touched any anime after being let down and disappointed by so many before, in general a lot of them just seem like their strong points were never good writing and character development, but rather relying on pretty artwork, dumb, contrived, plot lines, and/or zany antics. Although I was skeptical about Attack on Titan, it looked like another gore-action fest with a weak story, but the writing and character development is surprisingly strong, it's easily among my top 3 after finishing this first season.

The action scenes are really, really, cool, along with the Spider-man like devices they use to maneuver around - but these serve the story, the story doesn't serve them. I also found the plot pretty interesting, but what makes the show stand out is how it connects with you on such a human level, dealing with emotions and choices that were very easy to empathize with; this makes you feel for the characters and the dilemmas they face. Their characters are portrayed at such a human, believable, level. This is perhaps what pulls me away from most animes, relying on having such eccentric, silly, characters everywhere.

However, Attack on Titan is not without faults, it does get a bit heavy- handed at times - with monologues sometimes being overly melodramatic or extended, with constant scenes of flashbacks, which at times I felt pulled me out of what was actually happening. Right now some series I'm following are Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead. I would say the writing is easily better than The Walking Dead, though not quite GoT- level.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

Not bad... but not good

[6/10 · 12 April 2014]

I am all for suspension of belief, but it's a bit tough to get into the whole plot of The Hunger Games. The whole idea of the entire human race being okay with watching people and kids kill each other, come on - Yet everyone loves Katniss, our favorite polyandrist. Part of the problem is I couldn't ever find myself rooting for her, I don't know if it's Lawrence or the character; but I didn't find either likable, I found myself rooting more for Peeta and Finnick. Going into it, the majority of the movie feels pointless and when the games actually do start, it's something we've already seen, a reverse slasher - except you know who wins. To its credit, it does get better towards the end and I thought this one was better than the first. However, between Stanley Tucci in the ridiculous purple wig, the baboon attack, and Lenny Kravitz's glittery eyeliner, you would think the plot itself could not be the most cringeworthy thing about the movie.

Ender's Game (2013)

From child to starship trooper in a week

[2/10 · 17 March 2014]

I haven't read the book, but you don't need to in order to see this kid's movie is a joke. I guess in this universe, the most logical thing to do is to train kids to fight a war because all the adults like to sit behind glass screens. And yet, they, for whatever reason, the fate of humanity relies on selecting a random white kid to be commander in a few days because he's a snarky douche/"the one"/"the third" that comes up with the brilliantly genius notion that an alien species might be able to communicate. Nothing in this movie is ever explained.

The acting sucks, the dialogue is pathetic, there is no emotional attachment to anything; the movie is surprisingly boring and stupid for how cool it looked. I'm not sure if this or Pacific Rim was worse. Maybe if I was 10, I'd think it were a good movie instead of pure garbage.

Stoker (2013)

What a mess...

[2/10 · 2 February 2014]

Felt like it should've been a 10 minute short, in the first few scenes you already know the uncle and protagonist are weirdos. Somehow this movie is able to stretch so much out of nothing; there is no suspense, the script is dull and uninteresting, the story is bland and predictable, the performances equally bland - Wasikowska and whoever played her uncle have one expression throughout the entire movie. It felt like I was watching paint dry, this movie was BORING and pointless.

It gets a 2 for its style and cinematography, but that doesn't overshadow the fact that the story sucked.