mattryan00 Reviews

Dirty Dancing (I) (1987)

Closed minds come in many forms

[10/10 · 29 July 2007]

I have seen well over a thousand movies to date, yet I never gave Dirty Dancing a chance. It's a "click flick," right? On a quiet Sunday morning I watched this film and I'm really glad I did. It's a really great, inspiring firm that holds up well to time - 20 years later I found everything to be very compelling and pertinent.

First of all, Jerry Orbach kicks ass. That just needed to be said. Jennifer Grey does a solid job, but Swayze carries the day. This character-driven plot line is relatable and wholly interesting. All in all, I found myself thoroughly engaged.

Finally, it even prompted a bit of introspection - if I'm so reticent to dance, what makes me any different from the obstinate, prudish old man? I'll close with this line, one of the real 80's classics: "Nobody puts Baby in the corner." For what this film is: 10/10

40 Days and 40 Nights (2002)

A Fun Weekend Flick

[9/10 · 18 June 2006]

You know, I'm just as big of a pretentious d*ck as the next movie critic out there...I like the artsy, intelligent indie films, and I try to only give my patronage to good, smart, well-done movies.

Which brings me to 40 Days and 40 Nights...a sex flick targeted at the common man. But you know what? When it came on this past Sunday on Comedy Central, I just had to watch it through. I really think it's a great movie for what it is.

40 Days is a mildly intelligent, clever, creative movie with an intimidating number of hot women. See all these hot, scantily clad women actually reminds me a bit of my time at Arizona State.

This film is a very engaging way to spend an hour and a half. If you're not a self-repressed type who is freaked out by the topic of sex, you'll love it. I gave it a 9.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

What ever happened to George Lazenby?

[8/10 · 29 May 2005]

On Her Majesty's Secret Service turned out to be a pleasant surprise.

Sure, OHMSS has shortcomings: The plot can seem a little skittish at times, the action scenes are made to look more "realistic" by speeding up the video, and it included one of the worst Bond lines ever. I won't give it away here, but he actually utters the phrase "He had a lot of guts".

But you know what? All told, this was a pretty good Bond movie...and George Lazenby turned in a solid performance. Which begs the question: Where is George Lazenby? Well, according to his credits he did the voice over the a Japanese Anime cartoon a couple of years back. And what do you think Roger Moore is doing right now? Probably doing coke off of some stripper's chest and sitting on a fat bank account courtesy of those James Bond DVD royalties. Talk about injustice.

So that bit of semi-comedy aside, I would recommend this one. I almost fell asleep after the first 40 minutes, but the action really picked up and I lost track of time....and more often than not, that is just what I look for in a film.

Garden State (2004)

The best movie I have seen this year

[10/10 · 3 September 2004]

I can't get over how much I liked this movie.

For one, I'm a total idiot. I swear, if Natalie Portman farted I would probably say that it smelled of roses. What can I say? She has this amazing charm to her that I find absolutely endearing. Every time she laughed that sweet goofy laugh of hers, I couldn't help but form a goofy laugh of my own.

I love good, intelligent, dark comedy...and that's what this was all the way. There were some great moments in this one..and the best were the random, off-the-wall ones that caught you out of left field.

I really enjoyed this film. Finally, something new instead of the same recycled schlock. Granted, it's still a boy-meets-girl, falls in love, etc film...but it was done creatively and in such a manner that it engrossed you in the plot, and you can't ask for anything else out of a film.

I would go see this one again in the theater, and that's REALLY saying something for me. 10/10 Baby.

The Girl Next Door (2004)

Oh Elisha Cuthbert...your pouty looks make my heart melt

[10/10 · 26 July 2004]

Elisha Cuthbert. What more can I say? This cute little sex-kitten is the best thing to come out of Canada since Brian Adams. As for this film? It was good enough for me to take the time to comment on, so that is certainly saying something.

The Girl Next Door goes against a couple of long standing norms in that it is: A) A creative, engaging coming-of-age flick B) A classy film about porn

Granted, Elisha Cuthbert could stand in front of a camera making pouty lip-faces and giggle that cute little laugh of hers for 75 minutes and the film could gross 75 million, but this movie just inexplicably `did it' for me, no pun intended...the plot was able to stand on its own.

The imagination that this film inspires: the notion that a moment of serendipity can await an unsuspecting, worthy person is what really inspired me. This movie also managed to avoid the majority of the teen romance clichés, which is certainly a good thing. I gave this one an unequivocal 10 rating: Not only did Elisha Cuthbert make this film great, but the plot was quite impressive too, as I certainly wasn't expecting much.

And the best part about this movie? Freddie Prinze Jr. wasn't in it. Instead, some kid who looks like he belongs in a Harry Potter movie got some action…only in the movies ;o)

Spartan (2004)

And this was a good film because... ?

[3/10 · 15 June 2004]

How is it that this one has received such a high rating?

First off, I decided this film was worth seeing because of a couple recognizables in the cast and Mamet generally does cool stuff. Unfortunately, the plot was filled with holes and Val Kilmer is just a doofus, for lack of a better word. I tried to like this film, I really did. The subject matter is interesting enough too...election scandal coupled with a prostitution ring. It sounded sexy, but it definitely was not.

*Spoilers* Several points in the movie caused me to just laugh out loud. Some of the more obnoxious plot holes: Val Kilmer starts to use the word "Baby" a little too freely later in the movie. Trust me. It gets funny; Persons trying to be stealthy do so in ridiculously open view, often behind open windows; William H. Macy recites back the entire cover story just before being killed; Val Kilmer delivers his lines with a "cheese-ball" effect. It was cool when you were the Saint. It's not here.

I don't take the time to comment often. A film really has to move me, one way or the other. Sadly though, this film induced a bowel movement....I'll just leave it at that. 3/10

Pumpkin (2002)

Is this a joke?

[4/10 · 26 July 2003]

Wow, I like to think myself an open minded individual, capable of finding humor in things others might find tasteless or even downright repugnant. But I guess I was a little surprised by this flick.

I'll do my best not to give anything away here: the first 40 minutes I found entertaining and downright creative. After that though...it took something of a downward spiral.

I got the feeling several times in this film, that when the writers reached a crossroads as to where the plot should turn next, they just said, "F*ck it. What's the most outlandish thing we could do?" Well, what this resulted in was a crappy, discontinuous film with a horrible, horrible ending.

This film had some potential to begin with, but ultimately I wouldn't waste your time with this one. A movie with a bad ending like this one is kind of like trying Pepsi One: The concept is intriguing, and at first it doesn't seem half-bad. But the horrible aftertaste left in its wake ultimately doesn't make it worth trying in the first place. Wow! How's that for a simile? 4/10

Go Sun Devils!

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985)

I just threw up in my own mouth

[1/10 · 26 June 2003]

Alright, it's time to choke back the vomit and write a quick comment about this one.

I was all of 2 years old when this one came out, and just saw it for the first time this evening. Holy crap folks.

This is probably the biggest piece of nonsensical garbage I have ever seen. Without a doubt, one of the worst in terms of plotline, dialogue, and characters that I have ever seen.

For the love of God, don't waste your time on this garbage - it makes no sense, and even if you can piece it together, it's so completely not worth your time.

I found myself uttering the words, "What the f**k?" over and over while watching this one. I couldn't believe that such an acclaimed movie could be so awful.

My first 1 rating on IMDB for this flick: it earned it.

If I wanted to be tortured for 100 minutes I would watch 5 episodes of Full House back-to-back. Hearing Dave Coulier say, "Cut...it...out" with those hand gestures for an hour and forty minutes isn't even as bad as this movie. Well, I got sidetracked there. Have a good one and stick to Mad Max 1 & 2 if you want something watchable.

The Italian Job (2003)

Formulaic

[6/10 · 23 June 2003]

I went in with high expectations on this one, and found myself chortling (not laughing mind you, chortling) a few times; let's just say the dialogue left something to be desired. It just got to the point that I was trying really hard to like this one, given the awesome ensemble cast and what I thought we be a solid plot line.

Alas, this one was as predictable as could be. The only things that were more disturbing than the plot line were the SHAMELESS commercial tie-ins. I mean really. It's fine to tie-in products; I'm not against the concept. But the Italian Job really lacked the subtlety required, as the ads just took away from any of this movie's respectability.

When this film ended I was left with a bad taste in my mouth. And do you know what could get rid of that bad taste? You guessed it! A cool, refreshing Pepsi Blue.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist or anything, but since the Mini Cooper was such a central part of this movie, do you think that BMW had a hand in the script? Duh-Dum-Dah-Da!

Confidence (2003)

Been there, Done that.

[5/10 · 26 April 2003]

Eh... I'll start off by saying that this was NOT a bad movie and that I was incredibly tired when i went to see this one. This film was moderately creative but a number of the plot "twists" had been done before. So what you're seeing here is a lot of recycled storyline. Nonetheless it was fairly entertaining and probably worth a rental once it gets to DVD. But if you're looking to see a flick, I'd recommend something like identity (i wanted to see this one instead but nooo......)

Old School (2003)

Great mindless laughter

[8/10 · 22 February 2003]

There's nothing better than sitting back in a movie theater crowded with drunks, setting your mind in "idle" mode, and just enjoying an hour and a half of good, dirty fun--that's what i did at the midnight showing this past friday night.

It's really quite a funny movie. Although i found that the previews took some of the bite out of the funnier bits---I know i would have laughed harder if i didn't already know the punch lines.

While I recommend watching this one, i'm pleading: for the love of god, don't make a sequel to it. The ending to Old School sets up uncomfortably well for a sequel, and that left me with a bad taste in my mouth. What with all the HORRIBLE sequels that came out and are due out, I think it would be a nice gesture to just let a movie stand by itself for once. Just my 2 cents. Peace :o)

People I Know (2002)

I know people too, albeit most are alcoholics.

[8 February 2003]

I'll start off by asking: Where is this movie? I'm surprised it hasn't made it to theatres yet. I only got to watch it thanks to the wonders of the internet.

There's some major star power here, which is quite apt considering the theme of this film. The ending was left rather open for my liking. But upon reflection, this interpretive finale is definitely preferrable to a cookie-cutter, "feed the audience through a straw" ending.

I thought Pacino was tight in this role, and i even wondered aloud as to whether he's starting too look that bad, or if they just had rosie o'donnell's makeup artist come in to help (badum bum).

In the end it's a decent flick to kick back for 90 minutes. There's some good acting, downplayed intrigue, and some eye candy in tea leoni. Give this film a try...if you can find it.

The Daily Show (1996– )

Jon Stewart vs Kilby

[8 January 2003]

Ok, I'll be the first to say: When Craig Kilborn left the show, i thought it was going to suck. Boy was I wrong.

This is the one show on television that i make an effort to watch. Amidst a wasteland of stupidity, this is the last bastion of entertaining intelligence. Since the major television networks have turned into crap factories: turning out one crappy reality show after another, it's comforting to find a place in The Daily Show that makes fun of those people.

Jon Stewart is one of the funniest (not to mention brightest) people out there. Whenever I get bored, i watch old clips of him interviewing the Spice Girls or the one about Executing the Retarded. Somebody give this man a raise (no--that was not a short joke); he has earned it.

Jon is the man!

About Schmidt (2002)

What's the f*cking point?

[10/10 · 5 January 2003]

I must say, this is without a doubt one of the best movies I have seen in a LONG, LONG time. About half way through; while watching Warren Schmidt go about his pathetic, winding-down life, I couldn't help but ask myself: What's the f*cking point?

That's what's so amazing about this movie: it challenges you to ask yourself what the hell it is you're doing with your life. Whether you want to face yourself or not is likely a factor in whether or not your liked the movie (surprisingly, i heard many people around me in the theatre say that they didn't like it).

SOME SPOILERS What's so freaking great about this movie is this: Schmidt (Nickolson) worked for his entire life, was married for 42 years, and still felt as though he had accomplished nothing. In the end, he received more validation from a $22 a month check than he did an entire lifetime's worth of accomplishment.

If you fail to ask yourself the question of: What's the f*cking point; then feel free to criticize and go about your pathetic, meaningless lives. I'm really passionate about this movie, and that definitely warrants your watching it. 10/10

My favorite line: Dear Ndugu

Catch Me If You Can (2002)

Captures the Imagination

[10/10 · 25 December 2002]

This was definitely a fun one. I saw this one Christmas day with the family and was very much impressed. It's fun to see Hanks as a flawed character, and his performance (along with Leo's) was just awesome.

There were some laughs to go along with the drama, but most of all, Frank's (Leo) actions served to capture the imagination. His many "Zach Morris moments" make this film a real treat to watch. I don't say this often, but this film is probably worth your $6-10---depending on how much your local theater gouges you. I gave it a 10 ;o)

Bad Company (2002)

What a waste of a good Anthony Hopkins

[5/10 · 3 November 2002]

Anthony Hopkins is one of the best actors of our time: he exudes a sense of dignity and is capable of a subtle wit that makes him a lot of fun to watch. But give him a mediocre script and a mediocre co-star in Chris Rock, and you get this piece of crap. It's mildly entertaining, but you leave with a bad taste in your mouth. I gave it a 5, and that's about right for the level of entertainment you get. If you want to watch an action film involving international intrigue...watch the professional. Peace :o)

The Apartment (1960)

Shirley McLaine, what a dame.

[10/10 · 23 October 2002]

I consider myself something of a movie buff...i watch enough to borderline on the unhealthy side. But enough about me. This movie was just awesome. Shirley McLaine was just fantastic...i can't recall seeing one of her films before; and Jack Lemmon was great. His manner is somewhat similar to that off Woody Allen; albeit not a woman like Allen can seem like at times. I just finished watching this one, and am still riding that emotional high that only the great films can inspire. So if this paragraph seems a little disjointed ( i think i used the word 'just' more than ever before in the preceding 8 lines...whoops, there's another ), that's JUST all the more reason to watch this one. They don't get much better than this. I gave this one a 10, and it's now on my list of 10 ten movies ever.

JUST watch it!

Double Jeopardy (1999)

I learned a little something in prison...don't drop the soap

[6 October 2002]

I'll make this brief: this movie is a little bit lame.

It's moderately entertaining; if for nothing else than watching ashley judd stir a vat of tapioca pudding. I don't mean to oversimplify this 100 minute movie into a 15 second scene, but trying to make this movie suspenseful got a little tiring. I still can't get this line, basically the climax of the movie, which was replayed a LOT in the trailer a few years back, out of my head "I learned something in prison. It's called double jeopardy..."

I mean jesus-tapdancing-christ: that's something i would think you would already know! It's called the 5th ammendment, and it seems like a basic legal concept since they teach this material in middle school. But i guess it comes down to the fact that this assumption is entirely my fault, since we, as Americans, are ignorant of virtually everything around us that doesn't affect our little world(s).

I've spoken my piece. If you're a fan of Ashley Judd, you'll probably watch this anyway. If you're a fan of tommy lee jones, check your pulse, because you're probably pretty old ;o)

Desert Blue (1998)

It's the "holy-crap-i-know-that-actor" effect

[8/10 · 6 October 2002]

I'd like to preface any comments with the fact that i liked this movie. It was a good watch, and i really enjoyed it. I was never much of a kate hudson fan, but after watching this one it's impossible not to love that girl :o)

I can't stand the people on imdb that write these over-analytical, hollywood bullsh*t analyses; so i'll keep this one simple and to the point: Solid romantic plot, fun dialogue, and interesting characters.

I also had fun recognizing some of the people in this film who play lesser roles, who are more notable from other movies/tv shows (i.e. "darlene" from roseanne, peter mcallister--the dad from home alone, and the head fbi agent--from starship troopers just to name a few). I don't want to brand any of these actors with these roles; it's just that i'd find myself watching and go: I know that person!

Well, that's all i got here...give it a watch :o)

Death to Smoochy (2002)

Not too shabby

[27 March 2002]

I saw this one at a free sneak-preview screening here @ ASU. I came in with pretty high expectations, being a big Ed Norton fan. Williams & Norton did their roles very well & overall this one was pretty good; if not a little bit over the top. Some parts took it a little too far, but hey, what can you do? They really could have gone another way with the plot, i'll just leave it at that. And while it WAS good, it could've been a lot better. I didn't laugh too much throughout the movie; maybe a chuckle here and there, but still managed to walk out reasonably satisfied given the fact that i didn't pay for it :o) Is it worth your $8? Sure, why not. After all: It's only money.

7.5/10

Love Stinks (1999)

Keep sharp objects away when watching this movie

[1/10 · 19 June 2001]

Make sure to keep sharp objects at a distance while watching this movie as you may find yourself trying to stab yourself in the head just to make it all go away. This is THE most UNFUNNY piece of sh*t i have ever seen. I'm a big movie fan, and very generous when it comes to reviews. This is the first "1" rating i have ever given and this movie earned it. Putting together four people with no acting ability doesn't make for pleasant movie watching, and this was no exception. If you're looking for a couple of hot girls, find something where they don't talk...as with this movie that's what dragged it all down. One of THE worst movies i have ever seen, and that is saying something. Stay away at all costs.

Pay It Forward (2000)

Beauty & Modern Society...why are they opposites?

[10/10 · 16 May 2001]

This movie received mixed reviews, but this quote by the young Mr. Osment really explains it all:

I think some people are too scared to think things can be different…I guess it's hard for some people who are so used to things the way they are; even if they're bad, to change. And they give up, and when they do…everybody loses.

Plain and simple: I went through the registration process @ IMDb just so I could vote on this movie. I've seen Pay if Forward twice now, and I like it even more after watching it the second time. This movie is beautiful. If this movie doesn't touch your heart, then maybe `your ass isn't good enough to touch' the concept of Paying it Forward.

When you try and place a movie like this one with such a beautiful message onto a scale, the message is tarnished. Simply put: this movie brings a tear to the eye and warms the heart. If you're in the mood to have something make a positive effect on your life, watch this film. If not, watch a movie with drugs, guns, and whores and then ask what it is you'd like to perpetuate in this life: Kindness or Hatred.