bylwen Reviews

The Fifth Element (1997)

Bad to worst then ...

[2/10 · 13 December 2014]

I don't know - Apparition of Ruby Rod or something so was a good reason to stop the torture

After an honest but stereotyped prologue, somewhere between Indiana Jones and Stars Wars comes an honest but stereotyped Willis then, french touch perhaps, some kind of female flesh on feet

Then story, I suppose they call it so, goes from bad to worst, dialogue goes from bad to worst, stereotypes run the show, good ideas remain elsewhere

And then you get that stupid heap of ... beep ...

So 2, because since then, they made worse, like almost every US-made movie since 10 years or so

The Negotiator (1998)

Not bad, but clearly not good

[3/10 · 15 November 2014]

(Un)spoiler #1 : hero is negotiator in a tense hostage situation. So it will be either

cliché # 1a : it turns good, hero remains hero and will have serious problems afterward but still wins at the end

cliché # 1b : it turns bad. ex-hero will need rest of the the movie to redeem himself, wins at the end, but perhaps dying in the process

Bingo! It's cliché 1a, at least first part

(Un)spoiler #2 : hero is informed of some kind of conspiracy by his partner. So it will be either

cliché # 2a: partner is going to die soon

cliché # 2b: no cliché # 2b available

Surprise: It's cliché # 2a

(Un)spoiler #3 : partner asks hero to rejoin him at some nowhere in the middle of the night

So cliché 2a rejoins cliché 1a : hero will be framed for partner's killing

Now hero becomes hostage taker, an other negotiator is called on and the movie can drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag, and include some stupid scene with the hero's annoying woman and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag and drag with more clichés on the way (faking an hostage killing for example and drag and drag and drag and drag

and eventually come to a stereotyped happy end, including comeback on screen of that annoying woman

But when you look at recent movies, this one has at least some technical qualities. Competent actors, no CGI and no shaking cameras

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

Modern "fun", I presume

[1/10 · 14 June 2007]

Ready to give a chance to some "modern" movie figuring in the top 250, I valiantly endured more than one hour of plain stupidity spiced with boring systematic four-letter word spitted by so called actors playing a so called scenario.

Sorry, but for me no interest, no goal, no suspense, no idea, no humor and absolutely no fun Half a century before "Lock, stock ...", British humor was Alec Guiness's "Kind Hearts and Coronets"

But, if you like very looooooong video-clips, stereotyped characters with IQ about 20 and the kind of humor propagated by low-level TV, this is definitively THE movie for you. And apparently you'll belong to the usual sheepish majority