dpac1977 Reviews

Eddie Murphy Feat. Michael Jackson: Whatzupwitu (1993 Music Video)

"The Elephant is Dying"

[2/10 · 3 March 2024]

It's easy to see why this music video was voted the 3rd worst music video of all time by MTV viewers.

However, the song itself isn't terrible but definitely mediocre. I cannot believe MJ agreed to take part in this, being that he was a well known perfectionist.

This is clearly an epic fail by Eddie Murphy. Ironically, by the late 90's, Eddie's film career became just as lame as his music career was.

I gave this sorry video a 2 rather than a 1 because most of it is unintentionally funny. You can't help but laugh at how bad this is, the song is forgettable, but the video can be viewed every so often especially with friends to poke fun together.

Gone by Dawn (2016)

Cheap Entertainment, but Entertaining Nonetheless

[6/10 · 26 January 2024]

My expectations were low going into this, but I came out pleasantly surprised. Admittedly, the only reason I gave this movie the time of day is because I'm a big fan of actress Hannah Fierman.

Although I haven't enjoyed every film she's been in, I did enjoy this one. And her performance is exceptional.

This film is far from a masterpiece, but it works well for what it is. I consider it a dark comedy rather than a serious "rape/revenge thriller" like "I Spit on Your Grave".

I found most of the movie to be unintentionally funny . Doesn't break new ground or anything, but the plot, characters, dialog, and quick pacing keep you interested to see the film to its conclusion.

I recommend it if your looking for low·brow entertainment in under 90 min. With lots of nudity as a bonus.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

Good film, but far from perfection or a cinematic masterpiece.

[5/10 · 24 January 2024]

This film is average at best. Anyone who thinks this is one of the greatest films ever made, is most likely consumed by nostalgia. Speaking comparatively, the Philip Kaufman 1978 directed remake really delivers the goods. It has much better acting performances with better written dialog. Not to mention it's much more compelling and creepy. This film is largely forgettable after viewing it.

This version, definitely a product of its time period, lacks intensity and thrills. Some of the scenes meant to be dramatic come off as forced or cheesy.

Much like "The Fly" (1958), it was good, but the 1986 remake is simply the better film overall.

Ironically, Jeff Goldblum is in both remakes of The Fly and Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

12 Feet Deep (2017)

Monotonous Movie, with two unlikable lead characters.

[3/10 · 12 June 2023]

The ridiculous chain of events throughout the film would be worth watching if the two sisters were actually likeable. To make things even worse, their dialog was poorly scripted, not to mention their sibling drama is typical cliche.

It didn't take long for me to stop caring what happens. I was expecting something much more compelling (like Panic Room) or at least interesting, but instead I got drivel.

The film could have worked if it were re-written as a dark comedy. Off the top of my dome i can think of several funny scenarios that would have made this movie memorable.

No matter where you live, just stare out the window for 80 min. That's a better option than sitting through this drek.

Hero and the Terror (1988)

Another Action Snoozer from "Chuck Boring"

[2/10 · 26 May 2023]

There is a reason why NONE of Chuck Norris films are listed among the best action movies of the 80's (Die Hard, Robocop, Commando, First Blood, Predator, The Terminator...just to name a few of the 80's best) The majority of Chuck's films were written and directed by hacks (including his own brother Aaron Norris), Hero & the Terror is no exception.

Great acting is never a requirement to lead a action film, but the lead has to have some charisma. Chuck Norris has ZERO charisma regardless of whatever movie he's featured in. He's just a boring guy on and off screen. Even for low budget Cannon productions, he struggles to entertain.

It was also a struggle for this viewer not to daydream while watching Hero and the Terror. Even the action scenes are flat and lifeless as Chuck's personality.

Some of Chuck Norris movies are so bad, they are unintentionally funny (Invasion USA). But there is nothing to laugh or poke fun at here, it's just boring.

Chuck Norris either didn't care about the quality of his films, or he was oblivious to the difference between a good script vs a bad script.

The ONLY Chuck Norris film worthy of any praise is Code of Silence. And you'll notice it's directed by an actual A+ filmmaker (Andrew Davis).

Bottom line: if you have any standards, avoid Hero and the Terror, and watch Code of Silence if you haven't already seen it.

Judy Justice (2021– )

Judge Judy has become a tired old lady in love with hearing herself speak

[2/10 · 7 April 2023]

I love the "old" Judge Judy. From her original show conception in 1996, till about 2015. Beyond that she slowly became a cranky impatient old hag, though still entertaining.

But this Judy Justice program is desperate, with horrible production quality.

The cases and litigants are same old hat, with Judy looking tired, yet desperate to stay in power.

Having a stenographer sit beside her is a unnecessary if not lame gimmick. This is small claims, not a murder trial.

And her granddaughter Sarah needs to use some of the easy money she makes doing nothing while trying to look busy, and buy herself a personality.

Sarah is boring and her pow wow with nana after every case is cringe worthy.

Judy is obviously trying to shove her granddaughter down the viewers throats, hoping she'll be liked and accepted to maybe have her own show one day.

I prefer to watch Judge Judy reruns, than yawn through another Judy Justice.

The Black Phone (2021)

Had potential, but quickly fell flat.

[5/10 · 13 January 2023]

My expectations were high because of the hype surrounding the film. But people must be easily impressed these days if a mediocre movie like this is a critical and financial success.

It's not scary, and it lacks the intensity to be seen as thrilling or terrifying.

But it was mildly interesting, particularly in the beginning. However, the interest starts to fade slowly as the film progresses (for this viewer at least).

As a big fan of cinema, especially in the horror/thriller genre, I have high standards. The Black Phone is definitely below my standards.

And don't let the R rating fool you, if it wasn't for the profanity, this would be your typical PG-13 supernatural teen flick.

Worthy of a one and done viewing.

Clerks III (2022)

Clerks = Awesome, Clerks II = Meh, Clerks III = Garbage

[4/10 · 4 January 2023]

Kevin Smith made Clerks III for himself, not the fans.

A comedy/drama that fails at both. The comedy was far from funny, and the drama was corny.

While I'm sure he pats himself on the back with a big grin on his face over his personal "masterpiece" Clerks III. The rest of us (with standards) have to cringe over how lame this film is.

Kevin Smith's real near fatal heart attack and his personal experiences/feelings are obviously infused throughout the movie. I get the sentiments, but the film suffers from a poorly written script (sorry Kevin) and equally lame jokes/dialog that produced nothing funny or interesting.

While the Jay and Silent Bob Reboot was pretty good, In Clerks III, Jay & Bob are lame. Kevin Smith's portrayal of Silent Bob used to be cool. Then at some point he turned Silent Bob into a goof who constantly makes wide eyed happy or surprised facial expressions.

Bringing back Trevor Fehrman as Alias was a complete failure. Nothing he did or said was remotely funny. He should have just popped in for a cameo appearance, and his silent sidekick was just as stupid (not in a funny way).

Nostalgia can't save this film. But it's the only reason I didn't give Clerks III a lower rating.

Is this the worst film directed by Kevin Smith? No. That would be the atrocious "Cop Out". I couldn't even finish watching that steaming pile of......

Tape (I) (2020)

Below average film, with a terrific performance by Isabelle Fuhrman as its only saving grace.

[5/10 · 9 December 2022]

I get the sentiments that this movie is trying to convey. But the delivery, especially in the last act of the film, was executed poorly.

It's a shame that an underrated talented actress (Isabelle Fuhrman), is wasted in a film that was written and directed by a hack (Deborah Kampmeier).

"Tape" wants to be a scream of vengeful rage that echoes down through the ages of abuse. But the film is best when it's simply recording one instance of it.

There's actually so much potential here, an excellent premise, a talented lead actress, yet it's all just kinda lost and the end result is a mess.

If you really want to see a #MeToo film where a female gets revenge on sick perverted men, I highly recommend "I Spit on Your Grave" (2010) and it's two sequels.

8 Mile (2002)

It's OK...Not a Great Film.

[5/10 · 9 September 2022]

I feel Eminem is the best lyricist ever, definitely the GOAT of Hip-Hop.

But his foray into acting was mediocre.

Subpar acting from most of the cast aside, the film was OK. Worthy of watching once, not worthy of repeated viewing.

While the film stays interesting (barely) till the end, the movie lacks depth, structure, and suffers from a generic script.

The rap battle scenes are the highlight of the movie and doesn't disappoint.

A real bio film on Eminem's life story would have been much more compelling.

If an unknown actor played the lead character (Rabbit), as opposed to Eminem, I doubt there would be so many great reviews on IMDB.

Orphan: First Kill (2022)

Entertaining Prequel

[7/10 · 5 September 2022]

Obviously, you have to suspend disbelief while watching this movie. Otherwise, you'll end up nitpicking every scenario like some of these other reviews.

I didn't enjoy this film as much as "Orphan" (2009). But this prequel was entertaining nonetheless. Isabelle Fuhrman is such an amazing actress, she really immerses herself in every role.

I liked that she wasn't digitally de-aged in this. I'm an old school film buff and not the biggest fan of CGI. I can appreciate the work and creativity that went into making her character look as she did in 2009.

My only real complaint, is that the pace of the film felt a little rushed. I think the film would have benefited if it were 20-30 min longer.

Beyond that, I found it to be enjoyable and worth watching again.

Prey (I) (2022)

TVP: Teen VS Predator

[3/10 · 13 August 2022]

Firstly, I liked the concept of a female lead in a new Predator film. But I was expecting a woman huntress. Amber Midthunder has the look, body type, and characteristics of a teen who hangs out at the mall all day. She definitely wasn't believable as a would be warrior/huntress that could serve as worthy prey for the Predator.

The dialog is poorly written, and none of the characters (including the main character) were particularly likable or interesting (except the Predator).

The entire film gave off a cheap vibe, felt like I was watching a movie made specifically for the SYFY Channel. The CGI animals didn't help.

Maybe my expectations were too high, or maybe this movie really isn't as good as the "film critics" were boasting.

Either way, I'd rather watch the 1987 Predator film for the 100th time, than sit through this film for a 2nd time.

Mother/Android (2021)

Chloë Grace Moretz Talents Are Wasted in this Dull Sci-fi Thriller

[4/10 · 2 August 2022]

This film was directed by a novice and it clearly shows.

The storyline/plot is generic, the film doesn't offer the viewer much in terms of interest or excitement, and Algee Smith is a bad actor to boot.

His lack of depth as an actor is more evident due to sharing screen time with a talented actress in Chloë Grace Moretz.

Their on screen chemistry was flat.

Skip this movie, unless you literally have nothing else to do.

High Score (2020)

Game Over

[4/10 · 22 July 2022]

First two episodes were good, then slowly goes downhill from there.

The obvious LGBTQ agenda being interjected into an already average docuseries about video games, was particularly uninspiring and dull.

D.B. Cooper: Where Are You?! (2022)

Offers nothing new...Just conjecture and cash grab desperation

[3/10 · 15 July 2022]

This is basically about a team of old men (none of whom come off as likable), harassing another old man who was once a suspect in the D. B. Cooper sky caper.

The first episode is actually decent, as it discusses the D. B. Cooper phenomenon and shows a glimpse of people's reactions in the 70's. Then the docuseries takes a nosedive into sloppy filmmaking, and endless possibly maybe theories.

Some people can make a remarkable discovery, like Robert Ballard who found the sunken Titanic.

And others just waste your time by pretending they actually did something because of all the time and manpower that was supposedly put into finding something "groundbreaking".

After watching this drivel, you'll shrug your shoulders and forget about it before eating your next meal.

Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie (2014)

This film needs to be buried with all of the Atari E.T. cartridges..

[4/10 · 10 June 2022]

Having been a big fan of the AVGN YouTube channel, I really wanted to like this film... But after 1 hour into watching, I had to bail out. There was nothing funny, interesting, or entertaining going on that would make me WANT to continue or care what happens next.

I wasn't expecting a great film going in, but I didn't expect it to be this bad.

Firstly, the token black nerdy sidekick (Jeremy Suarez) was horrible. His character and dialog was poorly written, nothing his did or said was remotely funny. And he had zero on screen chemistry with James Rolfe. It would have served the film much better if an actual real life friend of the Nerd played the part (similar to Jay & Silent Bob being real friends).

The other characters were just as lame with unfunny dialog that forces you to cringe rather than laugh.

The plot and pacing were equally atrocious.

I really gave this film a 2. But I threw in two extra points because I believe they really tried to make a good movie or what they thought would be a good movie. Unfortunately, their best efforts produced an unwatchable film.

The Fifth Element (1997)

Chris Tucker's performance turns an average sci-fi comedy into a stinker

[4/10 · 5 May 2022]

The first 40-45 min. Were good (not great by any means). But soon as Chris Tucker's over the top annoying character is introduced, the film takes a nose dive into "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" territory.

Despite good performances from Bruce Willis and Gary Oldman, and impressive set designs, I found the film to be below average and Chris Tucker's scenes cringe worthy. Definitely NOT a Sci-fi classic.

The Novice (2021)

Great acting in an otherwise average film by a novice director.

[5/10 · 24 April 2022]

The performances from the cast was great, especially from lead actress Isabelle Fuhrman. I was expecting a psychological thriller, but got an average drama with a lazily written ending.

Worth watching only for the always amazing Isabelle Fuhrman and a solid performance by Amy Forsyth.

The Drew Barrymore Show (2020– )

Bottom of the barrel TV

[2/10 · 6 April 2022]

Typical morning TV talk show. Corny jokes, fluff interviews with silly questions like first celebrity crush, favorite guilty pleasure pop song, ect.

This show is no exception.

Russian Doll (2019–2022)

I like the concept, HATE the characters

[1/10 · 16 November 2021]

I've always been fond of the stuck in a time loop plot, and I'm a big fan of dark comedy.

But the lead actress (among other characters) is too unlikable for me to care what happens beyond the first episode..(ironically, she was also obnoxious in Freeway 2, couldn't finish watching) And she's a bad actress to boot.

Most of the dialog is poorly written and not funny.

I won't question the authenticity of the good reviews. I imagine there are people who are easily entertained and really enjoyed this series. I'm just not one of them.

The Movies That Made Us (2019–2021)

Danny Wallace's Annoying Narration overrides interest in subject matter

[1/10 · 22 October 2021]

As a film buff, born in the late 70's grew up in the 80's and 90's.. I was excited to watch this series. But the annoying Nickelodeon style narration was too much to ignore and constantly took me out of the moment. I could only suffer through 2 episodes before bailing out.. Who ever hired this goofball needs to be seriously drug tested.

Malignant (I) (2021)

Disappointing overall..

[4/10 · 11 September 2021]

As much as I wanted (and expected) to enjoy this film, because I'm a fan of James Wan's work, I found this film to be generic at best. None of the characters are particularly likable, the horror elements are run of the mill. And the connection between the main protagonist and the antagonist was obvious within the first 45min.

This film would probably be more enjoyable to someone who is easily entertained. I lost interest after an hour, it was a struggle not to daydream while watching the rest of the movie.

Code of Honor (2016)

Seagal does his lazy best to earn a paycheck while his co-stars carry the film

[4/10 · 4 May 2021]

This is definitely a Punisher rip-off, as fatboy Seagal is referred throughout the film as the "super vigilante". However most of Seagal's scenes are him sitting in a chair while the majority of the action is carried by his co-star. It's a typical roll for Seagal...ex military, expert in everything, never gets touched, ect. There is a predictable plot twist toward the end, but most likely you won't care by that point. Oh, and the CGI blood and gun flashes were cringe worthy. The film started off with potential, but quickly faded into another forgettable Steven Seagal movie.

Mortal Kombat (2021)

Lacks charisma of the original MK film, but not a bad film overall

[6/10 · 24 April 2021]

First off, the opening sequence was awesome. But the main protagonist (Cole) was a bore and unnecessary. With all of the characters within the realm of Mortal Kombat, someone decided to create an original character to lead the film.... BIG MISTAKE. He lacked depth, charisma, and his special power was bland. Most of the cast with the exception of Kano,Jax & Kabal had no charisma, and poorly written dialog. What saves this film from being a stinker obviously is the R rated fight scenes. Great fight choreography, mixed with blood, gore, and cool fatalities make this worth watching. It's just unfortunate that the screenplay was weak.

Attrition (2018)

Yawn...Just another Seagal Vanity Project

[4/10 · 19 April 2021]

Nothing new or interesting here. Steven Seagal's character is basically "Mr. Perfect", he's totally untouchable. All his fights are completely one sided as he does a poor job imitating a Wing Chung master. And he's obviously the most spiritually enlightened and wisest man in the film as he preaches words of wisdom in his usual monotone voice. The only real entertainment to be found is Steven Seagal is so ridiculous, that he is unintentionally funny. I recommend the film as a action comedy, but if your looking for serious action with a well written script, then skip this movie.