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Reviews
Raptor Ranch (2013)
Awful, but...
If you are specifically looking to watch a bad movie I can't recommend this enough, you will laugh your ass off over all the horrible decisions and directing of this awful movie.
Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse (2021)
What the F did I just watch.
The moment I saw the fake shark fin that was supposed to be the actual shark I instantly knew I was in for a disaster, and oh boy I was right, the acting sucks, the cinematography is awful, the effects are laughable, and the story is... just why.
Don't ever watch this movie if you wanna stay sane, you'll regret it your whole life, Mark Polonia should be arrested for creating this abomination.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
How people think JP3 is worse than this is beyond me.
This movie was in my opinion, an insult to the masterpiece that is the first Jurassic Park, and even the second and third movie, throwing away the concept that Dinosaurs are animals too away and turning them into generic movie monsters that roar and want to eat everyone, for example: That scene with Claire and Franklin with the Baryonyx, it's about to die from lava... WHY IS IT TRYING TO EAT THEM???
The side characters in this are atrocious, Franklin and the other girl whose name I forgot were annoying and bland, also that little clone girl annoyed the hell out of me and the twist was awful and pointless.
This movie also suffers from pacing issues, the first half on Nublar moves way too fast and the sections in the mansion feel like a boring slog.
It also suffers heavily from physics issues, why didn't Chris Pratt die from the lava????
Next we have the Indoraptor, which I thought was cheap, I didn't like the Indominus Rex, and I sure as hell didn't like the Indoraptor, just... we don't need hybrids! We have dinosaurs! That's cool enough!
Speaking of dinosaurs, their designs (For the most part.) are awful, no feathers, shrinkwrapping, broken wrists, etc. And they even undid the (mostly) accurate Stegosaurus design from the previous films to make it look horribly inaccurate, removing the beak and the sloped tail... it's lazy design.
I have absolutely 0 hopes for Dominion giving what's been leaked about the movie, oh well, maybe they'll pull a Revenge of the Sith, I doubt it, but I guess I'll give them a chance.
I could go on all day, but I won't, this movie was terrible.
2/10, or 23%
Batman & Robin (1997)
Best movie ever.
Truly the greatest movie in all of cinema, this movie deserves every Emmy and Oscar award in the world, if I could I would give it a 20/10, this movie changed my life and cleared my skin.
He's All That (2021)
Terrible.
Bad Acting, awful chemistry between the cast, rushed plot, pick any flaw, this movie has it, the only part of this movie that I liked was the ending because it was finally over and I could actually watch something worth my time.
This movie is so bad that it is genuinely not even worth pirating, just stay as far away from it as you can possibly can, you will thank me.
Torchwood: Greeks Bearing Gifts (2006)
Whithouse's worst script in the Whoniverse.
"Greeks Bearing Gifts" is a poorly paced character piece that is meant to focus on Toshiko Sato and give more insight to how she feels, while the episode does a good job in showing that she can be easily manipulated, it does little else.
The whole "Reading Minds." Concept is hardly explored here, Toshiko does one thing with it (That being saving that family.) and that's it, plus we don't even get any insight as to why that man wanted to kill his family so badly.
So we're left with a remaining 40 or so minutes of padding and awful alien sex scenes with Mary's awful excuse of a character and poor CGI, with a poor resolution that was rushed in the blink of an eye.
The rest of the Torchwood gang is almost completely sidelined in this, but that's a problem with Series 1 as a whole.
And to top it all off, Jack's transphobic speech at the end... just... why, how did that get past the drafts?
Trust me, you can skip this one.