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Reviews
What If...?: What If... Captain Carter Fought the Hydra Stomper? (2023)
Should have been called what if.... We decided women were better.
This episode summed up what people don't like about the MCU now. It's not about showing us what if. It's about showing us all that women are heroes. That's all well and good if it serves the story. This unfortunately doesn't. It starts with them rewriting the battle for New York where 2 women save the day and it just gets worse. All this does is strengthen the opinion that marvel and Disney have gone to far with the MsheU stuff. I'm not sure why the writers that Disney employs feel the need to elevate female characters by dumbing down or just straight up disrespecting the male characters they have built up. It's so poor and I'm afraid just the beginning of the end for marvel.
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023)
Disappointing follow up to the great Bumblebee
When transformers rebooted with bumblebee it looked like things were going to get good again. I loved the original Transformers film. The very first. The rest were trash. But bumblebee scaled things down and told a 80s style story with great action. This unfortunately is going back to the dark days of Micheal Bay cringe comedy action with terrible acting, paint by numbers story and paper think script. The "everyone is after a key" story that's been the subject of most of the films is back. Making it the kind of film you can keep half an eye on and still never get lost. The jokes do not work, the human leads of uninspiring , cinematography is just boring and the score is almost nonexistent. The social commentary feels forced and doesn't sit well with the rest of the throw away story elements. It really feels like they employed a director who was happy to point the camera at what they were told to do and wasn't allowed any of their identity in the movie at all. Unlike some I like the CGI. Less noisy as the Bay films and the smaller budget in that respect works to its advantage.
It's a shame as after bumblebee I was really hoping for a great new universe. This isn't it.
Bodies (2023)
Snorefest
What a mess. The graphic novel was fantastic. This is an awful adaptation. The story is everywhere. The acting at times is hallmark channel level. And wait to you listen to the dialogue. Wow. Awful. The people
Behind this had made some great tv. But this really isn't it.
This has the potential to be great.
It swung and missed horribly.
To many changes to the sauce material to try and make it easier for TV but all that's left is a boring slog of a series that should have been wrapped up in 5 episodes.
But let's spend hours of tv saying "you'll find out soon enough" and then nothing happens.
Honestly. Don't bother. It's pretentious, boring and really not worth your time.
Secret Invasion (2023)
More poor programming from Marvel
Take away the fact that this is nothing like the comic it's based on, this is poor. I'm all for adapting the sauce material and changing things up. But this isn't how you do it. At best it's boring at worst it's terrible. Fury doesn't wanna call the avengers because it's personal. LOL. Worst cop out ever to save having to pay up to use heroes. In both salaries and paying for the effects. You have a villain (one of the MCUs worst) with arguably the best threat to the earth since Thanos and Fury doesn't wanna call the A team LOL. Really ? They couldn't think of a better reason. This as most of the last batch of marvel shows leads nowhere. It sets up things in the universe that knowing marvel they'll never come back to. The writing isn't even at agents of shield level. Funny enough where this story would be at home in. At least that show tried. This. Doesn't even pretend to try. Good actors are wasted on poor writing and completely lacklustre directing. And can we be just done with the whole Fury story line. It's done. It's dusted. Honestly. Don't bother. Your not missing anything in the larger scheme of things.
Blindspot (2023)
Only got a 1 coz zero wasn't an option
Some of the worse Tv your likely to see. Made of a budget of about 20 quid. Awful acting. Terrible writing and it honestly takes itself so seriously that it becomes a comedy. How this was ok to transmit to the public I don't know.
Shot in Hungary doubling from a no named British town, even though nothing looks English.
Phoning it in from Kemp would be a complement. You can tell he doesn't wanna be there.
The girl in the chairs real disability is her acting. She's horrible.
The writing feels like one of those week day afternoon BBC dramas. They ones no one watches. Please. Just don't waste 4 hours of your life.
Smile (2022)
Where's the horror and the scares????
I'm sorry. But some of these 7 and above reviews must have been paid for by the studio. This is a film with a gory start. And then almost 2 hours of nothing. Like zero. No gore. No horror. No tension. Nothing. The story if you can call it that is set out in the first 10 mins then it's 2 hours of her crying and trying to make people believe she's not crazy. That's it. And the ending haha. I honestly think the film maker thinks this film is cleverer then it is. I have it a 3 for the couple of practical effects. Apart from that it's a hard 1 from me. Don't waste your time. Go watch it follows instead. At least that had a few things going for it. This has no new ideas. No scares, and no enjoyment. No wonder it was originally gonna be a streaming only movie.
Terrifier 2 (2022)
The 5 is only for the gore
Wow. The first film is great. This. This is overblown garbage. This is what happens when you let the director add EVERYTHING they want. It's over long by about 40 mins. The plot makes zero sense. At least with the first one it was a straight up slasher. This tries something different and unfortunately fails at everyone of them. Who can and can't see the little girl ? Haha. I'm all for making something a bit different. But he needed to stay in the parameters of the original. This comes off as a rip off of the later elm st films. It's a real shame coz I love the first one and have been waiting for this. Best bet is to just watch the kills and skip the rest.
Werewolf by Night (2022)
Fantastic and completely original (for marvel)
By far the best thing Marvel have made since Loki. I'll admit I'm a massive marvel fan but really have found the studio is hit and miss since end game. For every Shan chi there's an eternals, and for every Ms Marvel there's a She hulk. But this really Takes the bad taste of she hulk out of my mouth. Cinematography and score are absolutely fantastic as is the acting and the small amount of CG needed works really well. Its a real throw back to universal monsters and a bit of Hammer horror too with a marvel twist. It's a shame they went with a short one off 50 plus minutes movie but I hope this leads to more on the future Now all I wanna see is a buddy movie with werewolf and Man thing lol.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law: The People vs. Emil Blonsky (2022)
The cringe is getting worse.
The biggest shame with this show is what it could be. But it's to busy pandering (as Disney likes to do) and telling us how toxic men are. I love the wink at the view 4th wall moments but it feels forced and just doesnt really add anything. The CGI in this episode is the worst so far. Can't think what it is but something is off. The humour doesn't always land and they have wasted tim Roth.
And don't even get me started on that post credit scene. Just watch that and remind yourself that this is the same studio that gave us captain America the winter soldier. It hurts what they have done to the MCU and I fear that it's just gonna get worse.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Mind bendingly fantastic
For once a movie lives up to the hype. It's a real Sam Raimi movie. Take a comic book movie and mix it with a lot of drag me to hell and a bit of evil dead and this is what you get. Loved it from the first minute to the very last.
Gisaengchung (2019)
Very good.
I'd heard a lot of good things about this film. People saying one of the best of the last ten years. And where I'm not sure about that, I'm sure it's a great film. You'd be hard pushed to find a genre for it. As it has a bit of everything. Really recommend giving it a watch. It's available on Prime now, there's also a black and white version that I watched but to be honest doesn't really bring much else to the film. Just felt a little pretentious. I've heard their also planning to remake this in Hollywood. So don't wait for that as we know it'll lose all the charm and subtleness of the original.