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Reviews
Never Back Down (2008)
Karate kid of the 2000's
When I viewed this movie I was like HOLY POOPIN' SMURF THAT WAS TIGHT. Then after reviewing the flick I was reminded of the Karate Kid. Kid with just a mom gets bullied/beat up, learns to fight from some minority with a goofy accent, beat up the douche-bag and gets the girl. But I thought they did a good job and didn't do a straight up remake. I thought it was a little surreal that MMA was like the only way they fought. I would of hit em with the old 1 2, but I'm a B A. The bad kid represented the chimka/bardouche stereotype (loser who thinks hes the man). And the goofy sidekick was Joel {Gets beat up but has some funny lines and learns a life lesson WEAR A GUN AT ALL TIMES).I would recommended this movie to people who like an underdog story with lame rich kids who like to fight.
Transformers (2007)
Very confused
This movie made my head hurt. Why was even Stevens talking to cars. I know hes goofy but talking to a yellow car crosses the line in my books. And where was Bean, he is like the funniest part of the show. The cars all made stupid jokes and one thought he was black. I was really happy when he got killed. The little phone made me laugh and reminded me of my childhood when the sun went down and we played tag till we couldn't see our own hands. The car that was named Bumblebee made no sense, how does a robot know about bees. The movie is filled with these kinds of plot holes and Megan Fox. Their is no why a hot girl like her would go out with even Stevens. I would recommend this movie to people who like cars,BUT NOT ROBOTS!!!
Sasquatch Hunters (2005)
worst movie ever
This is the biggest piece of lamo I've ever watched. It is excruciatingly boring I would have rather sat through a seminar on creationism than have watched this if i had known it was going to be as boring as it was. Not even the 40 seconds of the hot chick in the bikini with the big ta tas redeems this of anything lower than a 1.
The reviews of this movie claiming that this movie is "unintentionally funny" are absurd and just plain WRONG. Not one thing is funny about this movie. they spend the first 50 or so minutes walking through the woods talking about stuff you wouldn't understand nor care about and it is just as lame when the people start dying because you don't even know who the people are because they are so UNINTERESTING. Honestly though, I didn't watch it to the ending, but that should say something about how horrible it is. WORST MOVIE EVER.
Immediately after ejecting this filth from my DVD player I started scraping it against the cement in front of my house, not wanting other blockbuster customers to have to fall upon the same mistake i had made as to rent this movie. Then Zach peed his pants. Thankyou for your time.
Slither (2006)
Morbid at the most.
this movie has some of the coolest gore scenes around, such as a guy getting half split in half with his inards spilling everywere, all the gore makes up for the chick who's as fat as the barn she is held... stuck in. she got fat from eating possum and other assorted parts of animals. which isn't good, she makes mcdonalds look non-fattening. well anyways, there's a guy that turns into a big pizza with people glued to him. who's name is grant and a black guy gits half his head blown off witha shot gun. the plot needs some work on the beginning since we don't know where anything came from. chea. overall this move might contain a sequel but i don't want there to be one. the anticipated bathroom scene is stupid and quite short with the girl yankin the thing out of her mouth. yea,,, i recommend seeing this movie... once (1)
Over the Hedge (2006)
cute
the movie was very cute, it made me feel happy. i usually do not fell happy. for i am emo, and alone in this world i am. until i saw over the hedge, i loved the plot, and how bruce willis was a coon made it cool. the best actor in it was obviouslly hammy, whoever played him is Jesus. the visual in the movie are stunning and the look better than the polar express, which i hated. i think the turtle was supposed to represent Hitler in his rise to power as a dictator, the turtle is a snob as is Hitler. and the Tuttle hates jews. he even hints genociding all rabbits since they are faster than him. the possums in this movie are funny because they play dead. and RJ the racoon was supposed to represent vegeta from dragon ball z, because hes evil but he turns good.
the movie was cool i liked it
Flyin' Ryan (2003)
Worst movie i've ever seen
This movie is so bad its funny, there is absolutely no plot background, or anything, my IQ was lowered by watching this movie. I want my 50 cents back from renting this movie, i'd rather buy two pieces of gum with that money. This looks like a home movie and has extremely bad acting, the flying scenes are obvious green screening and it never shoes his whole body but just his torso or his legs, this makes me mad., the kid is also scared or surprised almost 24/7, or hes getting bullied non-stop and running from people. there are many random scenes that do not relate to the movie at all, such as a duck sniffing another ducks butt, and a random scene of a cow, and etc... if i was Andy Weiss i would kill myself. this is not recommended to anyone except for retards. i don't even know why i watched it. i am considering buying this movie just to put it on my wall to say its the worst movie ever.
its a good movie if you are retarded/drunk/high