getthedamnbell Reviews

The Engineer (2023)

A disgustingly shameful disgrace to cinema

[1/10 · 27 December 2023]

In terms of the film's execution, every aspect is sub par. It's almost as if the supposed filmmakers decided that when it came to standards it was Opposite Day. The most boring scenes imaginable with sound track that sounds like the world is ending any second but nothing happens. It's just a boring scene. Aside from mechanics the portrayal of this story is pure nonsense. The effects, pure cheese. Sharp New York cheddar. There isn't any acting to speak of. But overall the filmmaking just sucks. Total amateur hour. Netflix keeps its free fall going. Just a bunch of professional victim nonsense. F-

Holiday in the Vineyards (2023)

It's all grape juice to me but this is a fun flick

[9/10 · 23 December 2023]

Even if you don't drink wine, this is a solid, fun rom com just in time to take your mind off the dystopian disfunction that is the modern world, and most of what Netflix puts out. Like all rom coms it is predictable but it is also fun along the way. The performances and execution are top notch. The male lead is great. He is funny and convincing. And his eventual love interest has the charm and spark of a young Salma Hayek, (sans juggs). They even a have a real housewife of somewhere. I don't like those shows but I'm happy to see one of them channeling all that drama up onto the big screen where it worked well. And have to admit it, she was good. All in all this is a fun flick worth checking out.

Ferrari (2023)

More Fiat than Ferrari

[1/10 · 16 November 2023]

Michael Mann tries, he really does. But his Midwest liberal grocer milieu just doesn't play with audiences like it did back in his heyday in the 80s. Audiences were much much less sophisticated back then but now they see through propaganda and sleight of hand story telling. The execution of this film is simply sub par. The amazing sorry of Ferrari was left to hands better suited to covering horse and buggy carriages. Michael Mann used to make his assistant throw pennies into his office to get his attention. That kind of crazy shows up in this film but not in a good way. This film will do well in streaming but I'd wait and save your money. Mann is a TV director.

Reptile (2023)

Orangutans could make a better movie

[1/10 · 30 September 2023]

I had high hopes for this. Everyone loves Benicio Del Toro. But love can only carry one so far. After a certain point the project has to carry its own weight. This movie is excruciatingly boring. The score is heavy handed and is constantly telling the watcher what to feel and how apprehensive to be. Back out the score and it's an endless slow boring journey to nowhere. Some of the actors have talent. The guy from succession. Benicio Del Torro of course. Beverly D'Angelo lookalike Alicia Silverstone gives an ok performance through some extra pounds as does Justine Timberlake. I guess plus size is hot over at Netflix.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Another Silver Alert from Hollywood

[1/10 · 4 July 2023]

Keeping Indiana Jones alive this long is essentially elder abuse on a cinematic scale. Disney is out to destroy all white male character heroes (Indiana Jones, Star Wars) and Kathy Kennedy and the other Disney/Lucasfilm execs are making it happen. First Star Wars was flushed down the toilet and now what's left of elderly Indiana being shocked back to life and dragged out for one more squeeze at the box office. Absolutely disgusting. If these characters were ladies, feminist academics would be teaching courses on the destruction of modern womanhood in contemporary cinema based solely on what we're seeing here. But they get away with it because the gender script is flipped. Let Indiana Jones rest in peace.

The Edge (1997)

Excellent movie for it's time but SO racist

[9/10 · 30 June 2023]

Lee Tamahori did an excellent job making this film. Most 90's fare comes off as 90's cheese - this is a rare gem from that era. But one arena where it seemed to backslide was the standard, passive aggressively racist storyline. In the 80's black men would be included in an ensemble piece solely to be killed off. See for yourself. Hollywood loves killing black men and the more elaborate, gross, cruel and gory the death, the better. Sadly, this film fell for that as well as all manor of white peopling. Whitesplaining, and white savioring. Harold Perrineau did the best job an actor could playing such a role. But the Blackmerican Diaspora has a long way to go to overcome Hollywood's wellspring of racist nonsense.

But this film is very well done so I'd recommend it.

Casa Grande (2023– )

A solid drama with amazing influences

[10/10 · 19 May 2023]

Casa Grande is a solidly written drama - great characters, well-crafted - that draws it's tone from a few different modern-day masterpleces.

It has the feel and cinematography of Longmire, the plotting and grim outlook of The Sopranos, and the dramatic dynamics of shows like 'Dynasty' or any of the other network dramas similar to that.

I have watched hundreds of limited series that peter out after an episode or two, this one keeps building all the way through. Much respect must go to the show creators and the director - these guys bring it 100%.

I did not expect to get drawn into this show like I did. It's well worth your time.

The White Lotus (2021–2025)

Why are people raving about this?

[3/10 · 13 December 2022]

Boring garbage from the pur vurts that control Hollywood. At least no one pooped in somebody else's suitcase this time. None of the characters were like able. Inter generational love addicts, homo yachters, swinging couples. What is this? No wonder hbo max is going through shakeups. I hope someone with a sense of dedency is involved in season three or that this just gets taken off the max. It was soooo boring. I can't remember the last time something on hbo max out me to sleep. The cast was great and very talented but they were all playing boring unlikeable characters. Why? Lazy writing and a "story" that doesn't go anywhere or resolve anything.

Harry & Meghan: The Complete Story (2022)

Ginger Prince marries Cringifer Lopez

[1/10 · 9 December 2022]

Wow what a slow motion cringe fest. Markle comes off as a phony whiny disgrace to America while he comes off as a kid who is stuck in the past and convinced everyone is out to get him. She's clearly stoking his.mental illness for fame and fortune but now that they've sold out the royal family what's left for them to do? The last thing this country needs is Harry and Meghan. And what's with calling him "H" all the time. So cringe. Do they think they will be taken seriously ever again anywhere? The first three episodes were self indulgent and boring. Unless they seriously sell out the royals can't imagine this will get better. F.

Falling for Christmas (2022)

Pleasant surprise

[8/10 · 23 November 2022]

I tuned in for Lindsay Lohan and I'm not ashamed to say I was loaded for Bear, ready to tear her apart but she actually was pretty good and this movie, for all it's holiday rom com predictably was a lot of fun. So much violence and narcissism and remakes, couldn't help liking this but I have a thing for Christmas rom coms that are done well. I hope Linds continues to do these romantic comedy movies. I'd love to see her collaborate with Brooke shields on a far out oh wow I have a half sister I never knew kind of Christmas rom com. This is a fun one and definitely worth checking out even if you're not a LL fan.

Christmas with You (2022)

Solid holiday fun

[7/10 · 23 November 2022]

Solid holiday fun but also a little serious at times. FPJR was fun although he seems like a husk of the actor he once was, maybe give the guy a monologue or something? Also I kept thinking the lead actress's character was his daughter not his love interest. Solid ok Christmastime rom com but left a viewer feeling like it was kind of an empty holiday. The little girl was great, we'll be seeing her in more I bet. Very infectious charm and energy. All in all worth a look see. Doesn't have the same energy as a lot of other Christmas time rom come but still is solid holiday fun. Just don't look for any deep meaning in it.

The Fabelmans (2022)

Sorry, The Storysteins is a snooze fest

[5/10 · 23 November 2022]

Sorry folks, I wanted to like this movie. Hell, I wanted to love it. But The Storysteins is a snooze fest. If you're expecting a departure from Spielberg's typical style of ultra satin finish shine and saccharin sweet milieu you will be disappointed. That's all it is. Same schlock same manipulation same ole same ole. The story is slow and plodding with endless stops to say look at how wonderful I am. Cringe dialogue so bad we haven't seen the likes of since 1995's Showgirls. Movies happen to people who can make them. Good lord who wrote this schlock? Don't bet on this one for award season. We've seen it before.

The Beach (I) (2000)

Boring movie about jerks and murderers

[5/10 · 25 June 2022]

The star of the movie is the beach itself. The rest is all drivel. Terrible people in paradise behaving like the worst people in the world. Would have been better if these people got what they deserved.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

I tried REALLY HARD to like this

[1/10 · 25 June 2022]

But I couldn't. It's a disgrace to the Star Wars universe. Jar jar abrams. I don't know where to start but so many have voiced their disgust for the Disney cretins who destroyed this franchise I'm not sure what can be added. Disney needs to wholesale fire everyone at Lucas and start over. Nothing original or even entertaining about it. Jar jar abrams is way overrated. Hollywood is over.

1941 (1979)

Spielberg's Best!

[1/10 · 25 June 2022]

Without question this is Spielberg's finest film. His use of camera and color, mise en scene, absolute mastery. The actors reacted to the brilliant direction of the master and delivered superior performances. Why doesn't Spielberg make films like this anymore? This is the best he's ever done.

Unhinged (I) (2020)

Embarrassingly unrealistic

[1/10 · 24 June 2022]

This movie is a joke from the title credits on. The first few minutes of action before the credits, that's the money shot. You see how it all ends beforehand. So just watch the first few minutes. Russell Crowe looks like a fat John Goodman. The silliness never stops with this one.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Spielberg please retire

[1/10 · 24 June 2022]

This movie is a disgrace to Hollywood. Spielberg keeps making terrible movies. This one killed this franchise. People were walking out of the movie. The ones who stayed laughed and booed and hissed. That part was fun, the audience communally reacting to how primal and bad this movie is. Please retire Spielberg. Please.

Inventing Anna (2022)

Really entertaining

[10/10 · 22 June 2022]

I didn't like glorifying con artists and hucksters but this was fun and easy to get sucked in to it. Great talent and the type of show you'll wind up watching a few times.

Bridgerton (2020– )

So much fun

[10/10 · 22 June 2022]

Yeah it's dumb, but it's also fun and so well produced. Not boring trash. Great actors and writing. And I hate this TYPE of content and I love this. Highly recommend. Some great up and comic talent.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Awesome

[10/10 · 22 June 2022]

This is so much better than the garbage being produced by directors girlfriends, it's true action, inclusive without being cheesy or pat about it and it includes real women holding their own, not marrying men to have careers. Finally an awesome movie from Hollywood.

Cast a Deadly Spell (1991 TV Movie)

Cast a Deadly Smell

[1/10 · 22 June 2022]

This one really stinks. At least I only wasted 49 minutes and it was on HBO max so no cost to me but goodness what a bad film. Some great talent IN the film but the production value sucks. Was probably produced by a studio executive's girlfriend, it's that bad.

The Punisher (2004)

Just bad unwatchable cheese

[1/10 · 8 June 2022]

The people behind this stinking hurd should be run out of Hollywood on rails. No plot no story just loads of violence that looks so familiar every time a mall or school or grocery store gets shot up. A disgrace to cinema.

Virus (1999)

Indescribably bad

[1/10 · 8 June 2022]

This should never have been made. Terrible production value and embarrassing. Career low performances from Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Sutherland. Only a disgrace to Hollywood would produce such a bad movie.

The Last Days of Disco (1998)

The Last Days of Stillman's Career

[1/10 · 8 June 2022]

Good god almighty this was bad. Arrogant insipid and garish are the words that describe this abomination. Movies like this are why everyone and their brother thinks they can make movies. So so bad.

A California Christmas: City Lights (2021)

Just like last year...

[9/10 · 16 December 2021]

Just like last year, this is a great break from all the unbelievable crap going on in the world. It's great just kicking back and following Joseph and Callie on their city Christmas adventure. Fun, feel good holiday entertainment!