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Reviews
The Lost Patrol (1934)
The Lost Plot
This film is really a classic piece of work of what I don't know. I generally enjoy the older black and white movies and I don't mind making allowances due to age but here there is no room to cut any slack. We have a group of soldiers pinned down in an oasis by an unseen enemy. So far we have the basis for a good plot. But things go seriously awry from that point forward. First off the enemy as unseen as they are, are only attacking from one direction and although they seem to be able to move in and out of the oasis at will and kill guards as they want, why they just don't wipe everyone out is beyond me. Another plot hole and one of my favorites was in an enviorment with snipers lurking about why would any one climb up a palm tree and just perch on top is beyond me. Do I really need to say what happens next. I almost expected to hear the old cliché' issued in many a 1950 WW II movie.."Gee sarge there isn't an enemy within 50 miles" Bang! I don't think Boris Karloff could have over acted anymore had someone told him too. I mean this is bad to the point where he really gets annoying after the first two lines. After that your begging for someone to shoot him. The whole movie to sum it up is a group of people trapped doing stupid things that lead to their death. While the whole time the viewer is thinking one more down one step closer to the end. Bad film and not even worth looking at.
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Certainly an Oddity
This movie is kind of a weird one for sure. I will start with the negative because the movie starts off rather slow and stupid. I remember sitting there watching and thought this is probably the biggest waste of time I could have ever encountered and had the movie continued in it's lacadaisy ramblings it would have been. There was one scene where Jared Leto and Jenn Connelly disable an alarm and sneak onto a roof top and upon coming back inside set the alarm off and escape out the way the came in..Whoa what rebels..And all that to talk and fly paper air planes. Also another short fall is Jared Leto's accent which is New York then it's Boston then it's nothing Ellen Burstyn seems to have the same problem. The directing I find to be annoying as well. They have this scene they use when the characters take drugs and after the first 10 times it kind of gets a bit much. After the other 50 times it gets rather annoying. The end was a bit much as well. The director uses a technique where the lives and situations of many characters are building up to a point such as you would see in, say, call it murder (1935 I think) with Bogart. Done correctly this is rather a neat effect. Instead here it is done way to fast to the point where you could have just blacked out the screen and got the same effect. It was a bit over the top as well as the braking up the screen into 2 or 3 mini screens. That being said when this film takes off it takes off. The performance of the characters as well as how far and fast their lives are sinking is incredible. I have never seen a movie with so many (in my opinion) negatives and yet still blow you back in your chair. After watching you will say holy smokes did that really happen. The remainder of the film is highly intense to the point where it pulls it up out of the hole and turns into a must see for anyone as well as a film you'll want to add to your collection to view again.
The Little Drummer Boy (1968)
Still Great Holiday Classic
This holiday classic is still refreshing to see even after almost 40 years. The story line is of course about the little drummer boy who ends up coming to grips with his hatred of people. In the end he has to play his drum for the baby Jesus and even though he is certainly no Buddy Rich it does come from the heart which, as we know from years of watching these type of films is what really counts and in the end the little drummer boy receives a change of heart.It's pretty much the same holiday format that for some reason one can never grow tired of no matter how many times we watch it or different forms it comes in...Certainly a great one to bring the kids up on.
Scrooge (1935)
Great Classic
I got this on one of those dollar DVD's at target so I figured I could risk one of my hard earned dollars to see if this film was worth it's salt. I grew up on the 1951 version and had not previously seen this one. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. My version was only about 60 minutes so I would have to say I thought the film was a little short and the ending was a little bit chopped. Other than that it was a great version and I would highly recommend it as a nice addition to anyones holiday movie collection. I would also have to say that if you can find a better copy than grab it as it is worth the extra fare. My dollar copy was kind of rough and I will probably shell out the extra for something better if it exists. I have not as yet researched that part. Either way enjoy...
Beyond Tomorrow (1940)
What The ??????
This movie certainly is a weird one to say the least. The basic plot is 3 old business associates invite 2 strangers into their home for returning a lost wallet with 10 bucks in it. The two whom show up fall in love. The 3 older business men die and come back as ghosts to try to help the two younger guests out. Okay so that may make sense but then we have 3 old guys whom apparently have some bread living together..slightly weird here...Harry Carey plays his part way off base you can't tell if he is a nice guy or really a prick. I mean really, make up my mind I can handle it. Then there is Richard Carlson playing James Houston from Texas....hmmmmm, He sounds way more like a southern gentleman from Kentucky than a person from Texas. This one isn't even close.. Then we take the 3 ghosts whom would stand a better chance of helping the New Orleans Saints win a play off game than actually helping out...In fact they are really no help at all and why they are even in the film is beyond any scope of knowledge.. Silly film in which a cast of characters act totally out of character..You can avoid this one..
Gilligan's Island: Marooned (1992)
Certainly a Lost Treasure
This is certainly a classic and a nice view if your a fan to actually go backwards and see the first last. I sure was glad to see the teacher, Bunny, and Ginger (Kit Smythe) get replaced with the professor, Mary Ann, and the real Ginger (Tina Louise). In this we see people at ground zero of what is to become a great series. It is fun to watch the cast kind of puttering about trying to make something with a pretty much thin plot. It's interesting to see Alan Hale and Bob Denver interact with each other. In what would evolve into a great comedy duo here is very raw and unpolished. The Howells are the same polished act that they were in the series and for the most part are the only thing here that will closely resemble what you will see in the series, a true testament to their abilities. This episode has a look and feel of a very limited script and allot of improv and although I don't know this for a fact it sure looks that way. Either way it is certainly fun to watch and enjoy for series die hards or those just watching for the first time.
The White Gorilla (1945)
Silent Film + Talkie = Disaster
This film seems to leave you with more questions than it answers, such as what the heck were they thinking. Take the old country store setting add 4 guys sitting around spinning yarns, set it in the jungle and you have the start. Next add silent era footage for the action and put our hero on the outside looking in angle and you have this film. It's actually humorous to watch the hero coming up on the action time and again and always having a good excuse for not getting involved. The term slacker might come to mind but hey, since he has no time machine well all he can do is watch. The gorillas fighting each other is highly laughable. I almost half expected a right cross or left hook to be thrown. Another funny spot is our silent era hero saving the damsel in distress from the attack hippo. That extremely rare menace of the jungle. And of course who can leave out the end where the black gorilla comes upon the dead white gorilla, his sworn enemy and feels remorse. I mean jeez, give me a break. I almost expected to hear the black gorilla (in his best Zachary smith impression) to start with. "oh the pain, oh the agony of it all." In the end Ray Corrigan sums up the moral of the tale which wasn't the same one I came up with, but hey it's his gig. If you can find this movie cheap it is worth a look.. Other than that don't waste your time.
Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (1952)
aka. Bela Lugosi meets the most annoying person on the planet
I gave this film a 3 only because of Bela Lugosi. If not a .07 would be about correct since there is awful and then, well there is this movie. Take a Dean Martin remove acting and singing talent then drop his IQ by about 50 points and you have Duke Mitchell. Then take a Jerry Lewis remove anything funny about him and then raise the annoying factor up about 1000% and you have Sam Petrillo. The story line is thin. These 2 maroons fall off an airplane heading to do a show for the troops in Guam. At least their luck held out, for us, well they just happen to have parachutes that work. Great. The two end up meeting the local natives and one happens to be a babe who falls for Mitchell. This makes (the only bright spot) Bela Lugosi angry since he is in love with her and so he turns Mitchell into a gorilla. (which is a vast improvement over his acting as Duke Mitchell) The problem is the real fireworks don't really start until about the last 10 to 15 minutes of the film. So you really have to endure the annoying Petrillo, and Duke singing which could bring tears to the deaf. Another bright spot happens at the end. (before the "THE END" hits the screen) and that is when Lugosi shoots Petrillo but the scene ends to quick. I was hoping Petrillo would have agonized more before dying at least 10 minutes worth of pain and suffering would have been nice. This could have allowed me time to refresh my drink, have a shot of jaegermeister, and do the lucky me dance while thinking there maybe is justice in this world. Unless you are a die hard Lugosi fan stay clear of this one.
Diamante Lobo (1976)
For the Not so Faint of Heart
Another cheesy western with actually a good cast. Certainly the presence of Jack Palance and Lee Van Cleef would temp any western fan. Throw in Leif Garrett and well the movie is just bound to come off the shelf and into the home of another one of the long list of victims who have fell pray to this clever little ruse. At any rate the plot is pretty thin here and is spread almost to break point. The acting is poor at best Lee Van Cleef did all he could do I will give him that much. Jack Palance was, well Jack Palance and you do have to love his facial expressions but that is about all. Other than that there is no more acting. Leif Garrett about 30% of the way through the film looses his voices and I just kept thinking maybe a stray bullet will cut him down and put him out of our misery but no he will survive until the end. If you are like myself, that watches movies based on the fact that they are a movie and happen to be on or I can pick them up on DVD for a buck well go ahead. It does move along at a pretty decent pace but if you watch movies for the entertainment/enjoyment value then this is really not for you...
Cry Blood, Apache (1970)
Viewer Beware
Although I have seen some bad movies in my day this will certainly rank up there and could be the worst western I have ever encountered. The directing is poor and so are allot of the camera angles that were shot that are just flat out annoying. Another trait of the bad movie that they choose to over abuse here is the silly diabolical laughter that has to be doled out at every and any chance two characters come in contact with each other....I mean jeez, just say your piece and end the scene. The basis of the movie is this band of bad acting desperadoes party with a group of indians and discover gold. Believing they know were there is a serious stash of the stuff wipe out everyone, (with plenty of diabolic laughter) and take a hostage. Another Indian later shows up and upset by what he sees decides he is going to settle the score and provide some sense of revenge for us the viewer who's only crime was sitting down to watch the movie in the first place.
This movie if you can find it for a buck is worth a look if you are like myself that has to watch any movie he can find for a dollar. If your not then this is not for you
k