hiyaboyos Reviews

Teen Vamp (1989)

Teen Lame

[1/10 · 5 June 2023]

I can totally see why this movie unknown. Par for the course.

Not entirely sure what writers and/or directors were going for comedy? Horror? Schlock? B-movie? Total miss on all of the above. I couldn't muster a laugh on any of it. But you could see that they were trying really hard to make you laugh.

Total unknown actors. Acting is obviously the worst I've seen lately.

I think it was an attempt to capitalize on Teen Wolf with Michael J Fox except with a vampire. These two movies don't even come close to comparison. This was more like a home movie project gone horribly wrong.

Don't watch it.

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)

Decent distraction

[5/10 · 11 February 2023]

This movie is a late 80s, decent hour and a half distraction. Not too terribly bad but also not good enough to see again.

The plot is non-existent. Post apocalyptic America and one man's duty to repopulate it. Wow, how original.

Roddy Piper is just being himself. Similar role to They Live. He has a couple funny rants. The rest of the cast are either no names or long lost actors reappearing.

The acting is dismal but passing. The make up and costumes are not half bad.

Anyhow, don't expect a whole lot from this flick. Take it for what it is - cheese fest with a couple chuckles thrown in for good measure. Easily forgotten movie.

Skinamarink (2022)

Someone's attempt at horror.

[3/10 · 4 February 2023]

I would not recommend this movie for several reasons.

This movie could have been made by a five year old. The cinematography is horrendous, even for an indie D grade movie. I disliked the odd angles, dark, out of focus and random pointless scenes.

I guess the long, no-dialog pauses are to make you keep watching. Don't fall for it.

There is essentially no plot; none that I could discern. You mostly see the kids feet walking around and really bad sound effects. One jump scare. The movie made no sense. People are there, then gone.

However, if you're into lame homemade movies, go see it and love it.

Licorice Pizza (2021)

Cute movie

[10/10 · 6 May 2022]

In order to appreciate this movie and for what it has to offer, you have to have lived through the early 70s and be familiar with the times and current events. The costumes were spot on as well as the vintage cars, houses, interior decorations, etc. The sound track is very good. The acting is very good even though I have not heard of any of the young new actors. The cameos by the more famous actors are odd and don't give much to the story but give the movie that much more appeal. Sean Penn, Bradley Cooper, Tom Waits, etc. Even though there isn't much of a deep plot or much substance to it, it doesn't matter. The movie has parts that are cute, funny and appealing. I really enjoyed it. If you hate coming of age, mindless dramas, you won't appreciate this one. I loved it however.

12 Pound Balls (2017)

In spite of low budget, a cute movie

[6/10 · 2 June 2017]

Let me start of by saying that this movie won't appeal to the majority of the people watching it. This movie requires a certain sense of humor . You must appreciate dry humor and mundane, childish banter. If you can't relate to any of these things, I recommend not watching this as you will think it is really not funny and boring. The closest thing I can relate it to is something like Napoleon Dynamite.

The cast is made up of all unknown actors. I thought they all did well and delivered their lines as dryly and humorously as possible.

The accents are totally Canadian however the story seems to take place in a small town somewhere in Minnesota. I guess Minnesota has a lot of Canadian transplants. Who knew.

The budget is obviously very low but that doesn't stop the movie from being funny. There are some truly funny and unique lines in the movie that I got a good chuckle out of. The humor at times can be reminiscent of Bill and Ted movies.

The story is very basic and doesn't require a lot of heavy thought. A town bowling competition, "The Roseau Bowl" is a well known competition and both rivals slug it out. Nothing earth shattering.

All in all it's a cute movie but intended for those that get a kick out of the slightest and driest type of humor. If not, avoid it as you will hate it.

The Subjects (2015)

Just OK. Nothing special.

[5/10 · 17 October 2015]

The movie in and of itself is just OK and nothing special or out of the ordinary. It's touted as a movie about people with "super powers" and the truth of the matter is it has nothing to do with that at all. Just because a person has a weird ability out of the ordinary that has no benefit for mankind is not a super power. It's just that, an odd useless ability.

The script is a mess and full of holes. It leaves too many unanswered questions and there is very little character development. But what can you expect from a movie that is barely over an hour..?

The quality of the special effects were about par with the budget: nothing special. The acting seemed forced and some of the lines were actually kind of funny.

You may like it if you don't mind movies of what I've described above, otherwise you won't be impressed.

Tale of Tales (2015)

Fairy tales your mother never told you..

[7/10 · 2 September 2015]

I had the chance to see this movie. As with most, I didn't have a chance to see any trailers so I had no idea what to expect.

In a word, I would call the movie unique and not just another fairy tale movie like all the others. These have a darker twist to them and a fate and/or consequences for those involved. The movie has definite pluses and minuses.

Definite pluses: the music, the costumes, the beautiful exotic settings, the special effects, and the acting and choice of cast. All were very good.

I'm neutral on the separate plots. Some people say the plots are related and some say they aren't. I guess that's up to the viewer and how he/she interprets them. I'm not a particular fan of the macabre.

Definite minus: the movie as a whole piece of work is kind of a mess. The three stories jump around and there is no smooth time line of events. They are all kind of just thrown together. A visual mess.

Another minus: the ending. It just ends leaving you hanging and wondering what happened to certain people.

This movie is so unique that is can have such exceptional cinematography but yet have such jumbled up plot lines.

I guess the only main theme across all the stories is about obsession and how it can affect you and those around you if it is not kept under control.

Turbo Kid (2015)

Unique, fun, quirky sci-fi flick

[7/10 · 31 August 2015]

I really liked this movie. I had no idea what to expect as I had not seen any previews of any kind. I do admit the opening scenes looked like a made for TV movie but decided to give it a gander anyway. I was pleasantly surprised and glad I saw it.

The plot is nothing super complicated to understand. Although some aspects of the movie are not original, the way it is presented is. Some of the effects are cheesy and low budget, however that is what gives it its charm. It proves that you don't need multi-million dollar effects in order to make a fun, imaginative, unique movie. The blood and gore scenes are pretty cheesy too. There could have been a little less gore, but I guess the movie wasn't meant to be take too seriously.

If you are a fan of fun, totally unique movies and have an open mind about movies, I would highly recommend this movie.

Evangeline (2013)

Another low budget gore-fest

[4/10 · 11 May 2015]

The premise is nothing really original. There have been many many other movies with certain and slight variations of this theme. Some that come to mind are "The Crow" and "Pumpkinhead" just to mane a few. I'm sure there are plenty of others.

The acting was OK but nothing spectacular. No potential Oscar material here.

The special effects again are just OK but no eye candy here. I always thought blood was opaque however in this movie it looks kind of like dark fruit punch.

There are some serious plot holes throughout the movie. There is such a lack of character development that its amazing anyone watches the whole thing through. Where some very simple dialogue should be, there is none, just bizarre images. Images don't make up for plot explanation. I guess there is a certain amount of viewer imagination and or interpretation required here. I detest movies with plot holes and character under-development.

Anyhow that about sums it up. Enjoy and use your imagination.

The Intruders (I) (2015)

Same old, same old.

[3/10 · 23 February 2015]

Not entirely sure how to categorize this movie. It's definitely not horror or a thriller. Most likely someone's idea of suspense. Too bad there wasn't a true suspenseful moment.

I would not recommend this movie. The story is really nothing original as it has bits and pieces from other movies. The acting is nothing special.

Without giving details, it is basically one person has experiences that can't be explained, they are shared with someone else that doesn't believe them. The first person is believed mentally unstable. Nothing new. The extremely slow build-up does not deliver so much as the bat of an eyelash. Not much of a build up at all. Pretty lame actually.

In a nutshell its just boring. If you want to see how boring, knock yourself out. Its a waste of an hour and a half.

Don't Blink (2014)

Sad attempt at horror...?

[2/10 · 10 October 2014]

MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS ---

I am not entirely sure what category this movie falls under. Whatever it may be categorized as, it is not very good. It's not horror for sure. It's not action and it's not comedy. I guess it may be suspense.

Even though there are a couple well-known names, the acting is very bad. The dialog seems so redundant like so many copy-cat movies. Nothing new or original. The plot has just way too many holes in it and unanswered questions. This movie doesn't even make you want to think about it too deeply. It's just too superficial and shallow.

I don't recommend this movie. If you do decide to watch it, it will be a waste of your time.

Space Station 76 (2014)

Boring, pointless space drama

[3/10 · 19 September 2014]

I would not recommend this movie unless you are into cheesy, boring, pointless space dramas. Character development was minimal to none. The depth of the characters just wasn't there. There was no definite plot other than a bunch of random people thrown together on a space station and petty arguments happen.

The only thing that was half-way decent were the special effects. They weren't too bad for a low budget space drama.

It almost has the feel of a spoof of early 70's space dramas. The jokes are very dry and weak attempt at humor. They may bring a little smile but not an actual laugh.

Pass over this one. It's not worth your time.

Almost Human (2013)

Typical slasher flick

[2/10 · 23 February 2014]

Watched this movie not expecting much and and I must say my expectations were met. Typical B movie material.

The acting is forced and the script is totally unoriginal. The effects are somebody's idea of special effects. Everybody at some point has a bloody nose, face or mouth. Not sure what that is all about.

Basically it is a movie with bits and pieces borrowed from other movies rolled into a "new" movie with a new name, new faces, new places, etc. It's basically Fire in the Sky meets, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, meets, The Hidden meets, Halloween meets, etc, you add your own... Please spare us and DON'T make a sequel. Not recommended unless you want a good laugh or too.

Barefoot (I) (2014)

Somewhat clunky but still heart-warming

[22 February 2014]

I watched this movie last night not knowing what to expect. I briefly read the premise and thought I'd take a chance and watch it. In a word, I was not disappointed. I'd recommend this to anyone who enjoys just a good, simple, plain vanilla romantic movie. If you're not into that, then you wouldn't appreciate this movie.

The movie starts out kind of slow and slowly builds momentum. Granted, the acting is not the greatest I've seen, the story line is not fluid; it's broken up and has plot holes and just not developed very well. It's supposed to be a comedy, but didn't find it hilarious. It's more cute than funny.

However, and a big however, all things considered, I liked the movie. I found it heart-warming and love does conquer all after all. I didn't over analyze it or read too much into it. I just accepted it for what it is and enjoyed it over all.