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Reviews
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Scary if you have ADD
Last time I checked, a scary movie was supposed to frighten it's audience in a creative and original way (ie, original TCM). If long silences followed up by loud abrupt noises genuinely scares, not startles, but SCARES you, you may want to pop another Ritalin and take a nap. If the plot is 100% predictable (like any other bad horror movie), and the movie still tries to take itself seriously than it isn't scary. No, YOU ARE CLINICALLY STUPID. YES it was cool to see Leatherface's face, YES it was cool when he wore that guy's face, YES the movie was filmed well with great cinematography (from the man who did the original, no less) NO that doesn't mean the movie is scary! And to determine how even MORE retarded people are, just talk to the people who walked out of the theater thinking IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED BECAUSE THE MOVIE SAID SO. Wow. D+
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Good God I'm still laughing!
This movie is the epitome of how bad sequels can get and just how good James Cameron really is! The movie utterly spits in the face of T2 with carbon-copy sequences (opening scene, cemetery shootout, and the tanker chase) that reek of campy humour. Just take a look at Earl Boen's character who was given a rude awakening in T2, much to audiences' satisfaction, and in T3 is brought in for a quick cameo that completely mocks his role in Judgment Day! And for the biggest shame of all: the Terminator is no longer an unstoppable, ultra-violent, killing machine, but a one-liner spouting gentle giant! And the TX! Well if trying to imitate Robert Patrick's vicious T-1000 (and poorly, at that) and inflating one's bust while wearing tight leather is scary, than slap me senseless because I was too busy laughing! And let's not forget the complete lack of interesting characters and a story that at least concludes instead of opening up room for ANOTHER sequel! Maybe that sequel will be written and directed by James Cameron, star Linda Hamilton, and maybe even bring back the drama from T1 & 2.
Hitman: Codename 47 (2000)
A unique game that, despite quite a few bugs, is still quite fun.
Definitely an original game that puts the player in the shoes of a hitman. At first the game has you killing Hong Kong Triad members and drug lords, but that all eventually leads to the awesome conclusion of your origin. Despite the lack of in game saves and A.I. problems, the atmosphere and tension in this game are second to none.