sandginner Reviews

Relic (2020)

Above and Beyond

[10/10 · 19 July 2020]

Excellent horror movie. It has everything, the suspense, the scares, the atmosphere, some gore, a good story and the moral or social commentary if you will. It's amazing what they've been able to do with so few actors. I don't want to reveal anything specific and ruin it for you, but you should be able to understand the title of my comment by the end of the movie. I don't get all the negative comments. I have been watching and enjoying horror movies for 30+ years, I know a good one when I see it. I highly recommend this one.

The Other Lamb (2019)

Should have been a Short

[5/10 · 5 April 2020]

First of all, this is not a "horror" movie, more like a horrible movie. What can I say? There's nothing scary about it. Secondly, hasn't enough been said already about this female empowerment/emancipation etc. ? If there remains anything to be said, this movie certainly did not add anything new. The pace was slow and the whole thing was kind of predictable from the get go. It succeeds in creating a certain atmosphere that reminded me of The Witch, which in my opinion also dealt with issues of femininity, but at least was SCARY. I give it a 5 for perfectly ambivalent.

The Hunt (II) (2020)

The Fox News Live Action movie

[3/10 · 21 March 2020]

Do you like political talking points mixed in with your entertainment? Do you wish you could enjoy Thanksgiving dinner arguments in all your holidays and vacations? Do you enjoy the cleansing experience of a thorough brainwash? Then this is a MUST SEE for you! As for me, I was tempted to stop watching 5 minutes into the thing, the only thing that kept me going through it is to gather material for an IMDB review. Not only does it come across as a propaganda piece, the "action" is bad with an unfit lead and laughable special effects. I give this a 3 because although I was not entertained at all by the movie itself, I STILL RECOMMEND IT if only as a curiosity and as testament to the paranoid, fake-news mentality.

VFW (2019)

Hobo with a Shotgun meets The Expendables

[5/10 · 16 February 2020]

Or the More Expendable Expendables. Nice little low budget action movie. It doesn't pretend much so it kind of delivers. Lots of gore and fighting but little in the way of plot or drama.

I'll Take Your Dead (2018)

I'll take your dead ... and give you SLEEP!

[4/10 · 8 May 2019]

First of all, this is no "horror." It is more like Breaking Bad meets Leon the Professional. The man who is supposed to be committing the acts implied in the title comes off from the very beginning as threatening, scary and impressive as a garbage disposal employee. This movie could have been easily about what a great service he is performing for his community without a lot of changes. It deserves a 4 because in spite of the reasonably good acting of the daughter and the other female protagonist, it made me yawn throughout barely providing anything to hold my interest from one scene to the next, and being unoriginal and unimaginative and also full of bad dialogue and plot holes.

The Axiom (2018)

Not boring

[6/10 · 13 February 2019]

I enjoyed this movie in no small part thanks to Hattie Smith's shorty shorts. There, I said it. But really, she is a talented young lady and I think we will be seeing much more of her. The acting overall was decent. The story is interesting, there is enough material in there for a seriously scary horror video game and that's saying a lot. It does suffer a little in the special effects area, maybe due to budget reasons. A sequel with a little more to spend on making the scary parts scarier would be a big success in my opinion. The Axiom bears a lot of resemblance to one recent independent movie, and another not so recent one. But I guess revealing the names of those movies would count as a spoiler, because you would be able to guess what's going to happen. I don't think you will be disappointed with this one.

Welcome to Hell (2018)

Welcome to Hades...

[1/10 · 2 February 2019]

...is a better title in my opinion. You know not Hell where your immortal soul is punished for any of the deadly sins or even the original sin, but where such trivial things as trying to outsmart the Gods are punished by endlessly pushing a boulder up a steep hill only to have it roll back down on you, or forever trying to grasp a low hanging fruit that just inches away every time you reach for it, or where simply looking forward to watching a nice scary movie results in being punished with watching this. This ... I don't know what to call it. It's not trash, or even human excrement because those originally had substance that had been depleted then have been discarded. This is just nothingness. Not even amateurish, because the word "amateur" implies some interest if not love in doing something, but not achieving a desired quality. This looks like somebody opened exactly four Wikipedia pages, Psychoanalysis, Horror Tropes, Fetishes, and Phobias, and to make a quick buck, concocted a cacophonous sequence of sounds and image. So I guess on some level, it does deliver. Welcome to the lowest of the low.

Hereditary (2018)

Unnerving but not really scary

[5/10 · 5 September 2018]

I don't get what all the hype is about. I watched the movie and while I found the story interesting, although difficult to follow or understand at times, I can't recall being really "horrified" at any point. You know, like when you think to yourself, "Maybe I shouldn't be watching this at night alone." (That is my yardstick and I think it is as reliable as they come.) Like so many others said, the characters do things that seem so implausible that not only make it hard to relate to them, at some points I found myself disliking them. Just an average scary story in my opinion, so I give it a 5.

Trench 11 (2017)

Decent Horror/SciFi

[5/10 · 5 September 2018]

I enjoyed watching this movie. I thought the acting was good, and the cinematography and direction. It kept my interest until the end. However I think the topic is a tired old one with this movie just being one more variation on an age-old plot. Would definitely rent and watch this one for around a dollar or watch it on Netflix or cable

The Disappointments Room (2016)

Lukewarm, watered-down, lost potential, LMN movie

[6/10 · 9 September 2016]

Saw the movie today. I enjoyed watching Kate Beckinsale and I believe she made her character believable, you feel what the character is going through. However, this was supposed to be a HORROR, not a drama on Lifetime Movie Network. Some revelations are made before the middle of the movie and the pace just slowed and there were no more surprises or plot development. You know that part of a horror movie where the evildoing of the antagonist, the fighting back of the protagonist create a crescendo of visceral emotions in the viewer leading to a catharsis and release, that never happens. There were more than a couple of jump-scares but the possibilities from the plot and the characters just were not followed through and explored enough for the horror to happen for me. Nice story though and definitely worth a watch if you like scary TV dramas.

2012 (I) (2009)

Orgy of awesome effects

[9/10 · 13 November 2009]

I gave this 9 out of 10 because of pure entertainment value i just came back from watching it some scenes left my heart racing , other times i was covering my head ! I sat close to the screen so maybe thats why it was almost scary sometimes . Anyway I can honestly say it was one of the best 9 dollars I ever spent ! Also for this movie I think watching the DVD would not even come close to the cinema experience . The effects were just so realistic ! What I didn't like was the excess emotionality and impractical actions and when they trade common sense for the drama and suspense . Suffice it to say I did not feel the time going by and the movie just keeps you waiting for the next scene and some comedy here and there also added a lot to the whole experience . Its been a long time since I enjoyed a movie so much . Judging from how entertained I was I do not think 9 is too much . I recommend you go see it !

3:10 to Yuma (2007)

Western with a moral

[9/10 · 15 November 2007]

I loved this movie , it was all interesting from the beginning to the end . But in addition to the action typical of any western , this movie also touched on some philosophical ideas . While you watch think about what the real distinction between Good and Bad is . It is a movie about love too , the love between a parent and a child and just how precious family can be . You will see manhood challenged by the survival instinct , as a dangerous shot at glory is measured against a safe easy and prosperous yet cowardly outcome . Even though many of the attitudes described are clearly impossible impractical and idealistic , yet it is a reminder of how we like to think people , men can be and why we like to think that . Pure adrenaline action coupled with a nice romance . Excellent acting . I recommend you watch this movie many times , it's that much fun .

Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007)

One continuous laugh

[10/10 · 12 October 2007]

In my opinion anyone who gives this movie a vote less than 8 has no taste for subtle comedy . I honestly laughed so noisily until everyone else at home came to check what was happening and I was not stoned or anything . Atkinson is a very talented comedian , like a clown for adults that can make you laugh and respect him . It is obvious to me the movie is a tribute to Europe , Europeans (including Amercians represented by the movie actor/director) and the European union . It has many original comic scenes and I would recommend this movie over a Scary Movie or movies like it with good conscience . The only objection would be to the movie's length , it ended too quickly for me . Watch it and enjoy .

Dead Mary (2007 Video)

An amateur job at best

[1/10 · 11 April 2007]

Beginning with the ritual of reciting " dead Mary " , then the idea of the cars stalling and the realization that they are trapped in a cabin in the woods and finally the first guy getting killed turns into a zombie , all that made me feel like the idea of the movie draws heavily from the Evil Dead series . Why did the friends feel like they had to go through the "dead Mary ritual" one after the other ? It began as a challenge to one person , but then they all do the same thing as if they agreed to make a contest out of it ,which was not made clear from the characters' comments . The story is full of incoherence , like how the teenager gets locked up in spite of the fact that the first victim turns out to be alive , not killed by Eve like she testified , and the one who kills him is his wife , yet the teenager girl is treated as the suspect . Only later it is revealed and explained that the woman jumped on her wounded ex because he started 'turning' and coming back to life . One would wonder how she came so quickly to understand how the zombie thing works , it's as if they have been living with zombies all their lives and how to prevent a dead person from coming back to life as a zombie

is common knowledge . Why did the girl burn herself with her zombie husband ? It's not even clear if she did die in there or not , she is just shown to dowse the cabin with gas and throw a lit match , then cut to a view of the cabin from outside showing the flames . One only understands that she died with the zombie from the fact that she doesn't appear anymore after that . How did they know that the effective way to deal with the zombie reanimation issue was to burn them ? The movie did not show any development of experience on the matter , again it's as if they came ready to deal with zombies or any other supernatural creatures . The interrogation scene where the zombie husband is tied by the cheating friend does not make a lot of sense , he keeps hitting the zombie asking "What do you want ?" , I would like to know what HE hoped to accomplish , he was satisfied when the zombie replied : "We want YOU", we want you to die ? we want you to become one of us ? we want to eat you ? Who is dead Mary ? Is it the character Eve ? I think it would have been better to show why dead Mary appears after repeating the name , what is dead Mary and what does she do to make people become zombies ? Is it a form of possession ? The ending scene is the most stupid , why couldn't they at least show the evil characters dying ?

I must admit however , there were some instances where they succeeded in creating suspense , it was almost scary beginning with the "dead Mary" contest up to the discovery and burning of the first "zombie" , after that the story went downhill .

River Queen (2005)

if you like a good story and the national geographic channel this is for you

[10/10 · 4 January 2007]

excellent movie ! a great story that keeps you riveted in your seat ! i also enjoyed the great cinematography of the New Zealand country , and the original New Zealand people . as the story follows an Irish woman who falls in love with and becomes pregnant by a native man ,the viewer is absorbed in the drama of the struggle of two mighty human civilizations . i think the scene where the native chieftain is making love to his newly acquired beautiful young wife while his tribe is engaged in a bloody battle against the European settlers is pregnant with symbolism .also when the Irish woman sneaks out of her home with her fellow-countryman to be with the brother of her dead boyfriend and the adopted father of her son only to come back to find that her Irish friend has died , i think that was an unexpected twist in the woman's story ,i thought she would eventually marry her Irish friend especially after she appeared to "lose" her son again, after finding him, to the savage ways of his father's people . i think overall, it was a great watch .I strongly recommend it .

Chain Reaction (2006 Video)

a real contender for the stupidest movie ever

[1/10 · 4 January 2007]

5 minutes into the movie , i started wondering , why aren't there contests for making the most stupid , incoherent , retarded movie ? because watching this movie , i was convinced it really takes talent to make a movie that is saturated with dumbness in every detail . here are some striking features :-

1.the category on the DVD (and as understood from the spooky skull-thing on the cover) is horror , i think it has a category on its own-movies by amateur east-European people .

2.the cast of the movie appear to have been hired at an immigrant-recruitment center .

the doctor:-

the protagonist looks like he needs a good dental job ,he doesn't look at all like a doctor ,and the cowboy-like deep masculine voice doesn't fit with the role . when he gives his diagnosis (at least 2 times in the course of the movie) he looked like he had a difficult time memorizing all the medical mambo-jumbo .the man is one of the worst actors i ever seen , except maybe for his idiotic co-stars .

the prisoners:-

one keeps wondering why hardened American criminals would speak in so many different European accents .they give the impression of being part-time actors who might be true criminals in real life .in the first batch of escaping prisoners , 2 actors were portraying brothers ,which was hard to believe since one was speaking with a British accent and the other sounded like he was Russian.

the (BREED):-

or the people the runaway prisoners encounter in the forest talk in a retarded form of English . it was actually painful for me to hear them adding (eth) to all verbs and with all persons , which was,together with the rearrangement of word order a childish attempt at recreating a form of medieval English , giving rise to phrases like :- " ay, haveth I!" "hunteth they ." "feareth us thou shouldeth" huh??!! the woman-breed was especially funny/miserable to watch because of her half-open rather big mouth ,add incomprehensible English to that and you get a perfect image of a mentally challenged person .

the police chief:-

the only legitimate actor in the whole cast , who i started to despise for endorsing such a travesty with his name (he appeared as the villain in one of the Die Hard movies) i guess he was out of work for some time ,maybe because pox-marked faces aren't that photogenic .

3.the plot

one salient feature of the plot is repetition as might be suggested by the alternate name of the movie "chain reaction" the scene of prisoners transported in a D.O.C bus is repeated 3 times in the movie , the road accidents 3 times , the doctor diagnosing one of the prisoners 2 times, the carnage at the cabin also repeated 2 times ,an intellectual prisoner also appears 2 times (in the first prisoner batch/breed meal represented by an Italian prisoner who might have been a physics professor ,in the second prisoner batch by the Russian bald guy ) i think this might be the only sign of cleverness on the part of whoever made this film , repeating oneself is a good fix for an incomplete/bad story .

flashbacks are used very ineptly , after the first opening scene of the D.O.C accident , the movie cuts to a man waking up in his bedroom focusing on a large scar on his leg, then this flashback itself has a flashback to another accident involving 2 parents and a child who is the only survivor, then the movie continues from the original scene of the bus accident .later in the movie, more flashbacks when the doctor encounters the she-breed showing the woman talking to a child(who is visibly bored,maybe he could sense the naiveté of the movie he was part of) and giving him a pendant in the form of an ornate cross,these flashbacks makes one suspect that the doctor had an accident as a child from which he was saved by the woman-breed ,a suspicion reinforced by a fleeting toothless grin from our doctor when he sees her . the theme seems to be that the doctor is caught in a loop where he keeps coming back to the "house" accompanied by prisoners who get slaughtered , although no explanation as to why this might have suddenly happened to the doctor can be discerned .

the finale

i am still trying to understand why the man threw himself in front of the last prisoner transport bus (other than him having an altruistic notion to save people the anguish of watching an infinite succession of D.O.C bus crashes and prisoner massacres), why the woman-breed cried over his death so hysterically , why the woman-breed died after she was shot in the forehead in spite of being a "breed" .

4:-the effects

the stunts and visual effects appear reasonable ,this is out of proportion with the poor acting and story plot . one might assume a visual effects specialist and a stunts coordinator decided to do without a director and story-writer and make a movie themselves .

5-summary

i think the makers of this movie should be either sued for fraud for presenting this as a horror-movie OR awarded an achievement prize for making the most stupid movie in 2006 if not ever .