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blakeh
Reviews
The Sweetest Thing (2002)
Honestly, The Best Part Of The Movie Was The Credits...
I have never longed so much for a movie to "hurry up and be done already". I am one of those rare individuals that is incapable of shutting off a movie once I've started watching it. I haven't a clue why this is, but it is my curse, and I've learned to deal with it. However, no movie has ever come so close to curing my fear of pressing the "stop" button.
After the "Your Penis Is Too Large" musical number, I knew I was in serious trouble. Words can't describe how terrible it was. That's not a cliché -- I really mean it. Nothing I could write in this review could prepare you for this misguided attempt at Sex-In-The-City-esque hipness.
As for the rest of the movie... let's just say I was hoping for a power failure to force me to stop the 90 minute long train wreck. I kept thinking to myself "the DVD case SAYS it's 90 minutes long, but maybe it's a misprint?"
There were so many things wrong with the movie, it would take too much time and effort to explore them with any depth. Cameron Diaz shows about as much thespian skill as a fourth grader who's been assigned the part of a dancing tree in her school's annual adaptation of Hansel & Gretel. Pouty lips when she's sad, come hither eyes when she's horny, and huge, toothy grins when she's happy. Her spectrum is truly mind boggling. Is the director really pleased that he's reduced the archetype of single women in their 20's to three simple emotions? Apparently, because they are played over and over and OVER again, ad nauseum.
I have no problem with "dick and fart" jokes, so long as they're funny, and in moderation -- two criteria this film failed to take into consideration. I've not seen such crude, banal (and simply non-sensical) humor since... well, honestly, I've never seen such humor. Props to the movie for introducing me to just how bad a movie can be & still get made.
Bottom line, don't waste your time with this trivial piece of unfunny fluff. It's an insult to anyone that has even the slightest elements of a multi-dimensional personality. That, and anyone who has an I.Q. larger than their shoe size.
As for my phobia of stopping a movie without watching the whole thing... I'm finally seeking help. I think I've hit rock bottom, and it's time to make a change. I don't want a repeat of that experience. Ever.
0/10
Wonderland (1999)
A Wonderfully Sublime Movie About Quiet Desperation
There really are two parts to any movie. First, the obvious (plot, character development, setting, etc.) and second, that which is subtle... underlying. This film is filled with the latter. In fact, it would be a great disservice to the film to focus on just the plot without describing the feeling Winterbottom relays. On the surface, it's a film about three sisters and the very different choices they've made in their lives. The first, a single mom who pawns her son off to her anything-but-worthy ex-husband so she can go out and party. The second, a pregnant woman who's husband seems to be getting more and more spooked as the idea of a child coming into their home becomes closer to a reality. And finally, the youngest, a woman who simply longs to have someone -- anyone in her life. She takes to the personal ads and sleeping with men that will obviously not give her the emotional support she so desperately seeks.
Obviously, these women have all taken different paths in their lives. But it's not their paths that make the movie so interesting, it's their motivation. We need only look at the loveless marriage of the parents that begot these women to understand why they've all come to love and/or long for emotionally inaccessible men.
Winterbottom does a superb job of making us feel the grimy desperation in each of these women's lives. Cramped apartments give a sense of claustrophobia. The incessant barking of dogs begin to grate on not only the nerves of the characters, but on those of the audience as well. And throughout the movie, natural lighting is used giving us a sense that not all is polished and produced in the lives of the characters. All of these factors that have left the characters in the story with a quiet desperation, also pull the audience into a world of imbalance.
The score was absolutely brilliant -- one of the best matched soundtracks to a movie I've yet come across. Sublime at some points, triumphant at others, it was the final piece that made this film a joy to watch. Not because it makes you feel good... but simply because it makes you feel. Something. Real.
Sweet Jane (1998)
A Movie About Relationships
More than anything else, this movie is about the relationship that can form between two people who are somehow flawed. The fact that it takes place against a backdrop of AIDS/drug addiction seems to be largely secondary. The movie depicts a drug addict (who happens to be HIV positive) and her relationship with a 15-year old boy who is in the throes of full-blown AIDS. The audience can see that both characters are in very similar points of their life, albeit for somewhat different reasons.
Samantha Mathis plays "Jane", a junkie prostitute who starts out incapable of accepting or giving love to another human being. As the story unfolds, we learn that she came from a good family, went to college, and has had support throughout her life. But, she fell through the cracks, and ended up in a desperate situation. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Tony, whose background is quite different. His brother and mother both died when he was younger, and his father has been incarcerated for most of Tony's life. Tony comes off as rough and uneducated. But, the audience really feels for him, as he's not just some street hoodlum... he's simply a victim of his circumstances.
The movie focuses on the give and take relationship that Jane and Tony have. Sometimes Tony is the strong one, helping Jane to see the weight of her decisions (her heroin abuse and prostitution). Other times, Jane takes on the role of a mother figure for Tony, helping a scared boy through a very rough time. Together, they seem to make a positive difference in each other's lives.
I gave the movie a rating of 7. Samantha Mathis really does an excellent job communicating both the desperation and the depth of love Jane is capable of. Gordon-Levitt does equally well showing us that Tony's intentions are honorable, but sometimes suffer the after being filtered through of the lack of opportunities he's been forced to deal with in his lifetime. Both of them show how human companionship can infuse even the most desperate of people with hope and warmth.
This movie is well worth your viewing time.
The Doom Generation (1995)
By far, the worst movie I've seen.. and I've seen quite a few
I'd love to post a lengthy dissection of this film, but to be quite honest, it doesn't deserve the bytes. Simply horrible, this film fails on every level. The plot devices that are meant to be shocking, simply come off as silly. The characters (apparently meant to be angst-ridden and deep), instead come off as absurd, shallow, and plainly boring. Everything from the actor's line delivery to the plot itself inflicts excruciating pain on any audience that has even a shred of intelligence. Avoid this one if your IQ is in the double or triple digits.