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Reviews
Bigger Stronger Faster* (2008)
The Best Reporting on Steroids to Date
Any sports fan over the last few years has been subject to hours and hours of Steroids debate, whether in the media, in Congress, or just on the Little League field. To call this movie the "Comprehensive Guide to Steroids in America" is accurate, but also sells the movie a little short. Not only does it provide an in-depth analysis of the steroid culture, and also provide a sympathetic case study in the Bell family, but it transcends either of those simplifiers by attaching itself to the nostalgia of American culture itself.
How can one deny the appeal of Rambo, Rocky IV, Hulk Hogan, and the Governator himself? Clips of Reagan and Bush Sr. endorsing such icons while also passing legislation banning any non-medical use of steroids are perhaps the most poignant facts of the film. Those points, and younger brother Stinky's honest relation of the ways he seems equally approving and regretful of his steroid use. This film manages to span the political, competitive, and personal effects of steroids in an even-handed and balanced manner that will open a lot of eyes.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Trash of the worst sort(*spoilers)
First off, J.R.R. Tolkien was the greatest story teller (except possibly Shakespeare) England has ever known. So why does Peter Jackson think he can tell Tolkien's stories better by butchering the plot and the characters? Adaptation arguments aside, the movie itself felt like a cross between Jackson's earlier "Frighteners" and the monotonously long "Meet Joe Black". What little flair for action Jackson showed in "Two Towers" is quickly lost in the constant use of slow motion in this film. Slow pans take up nearly every moment, including battles, goodbye scenes, and reunions. I wanted to scream at the movie screen "Get to the damn story!!!"
In addition, Jackson resorts to the campy feel of Evil Dead movies. It is hard not to burst out laughing when triumphant music plays while the tower falls (in slow motion) and the eye is searching around with a look of befuddlement. The king of the dead and his legions are directly taken from "The Frighteners" and the close-ups of Denethor eating chicken ruin what could be the film's only touching moment (Pippin singing while troops rush to almost certain death). Peter Jackson, you should be collecting garbage instead of producing it.
The Ballad of Little Roger Mead (2001)
9 out of 10 - I laughed tears!
This short had me laughing so hard I was crying. The writing is sharp, concise, and captures perfectly the essence of dark comedy. Sample dialogue (MAY BE CONSIDERED A SPOILER!): Little Roger: Did daddy leave because of me? Mom: Well, yes.
Find it and laugh your arse off!
The Search for Inflata-boy (2003)
Enjoyable Cliche
The Search for Inflata-Boy is not the most amazing short film ever, but it is definitely enjoyable. The story is cliched, but it knows that it is and works within its boundaries well. The actors play their roles perfectly, from the emphatic professors who "know the facts" on Inflata-Boy to the rustic local sheriff who seems to enjoy using his gun whenever he can. The film ends with the protective reminder, Be sure to report any of your own Inflata-sightings to 1-800-INFLATA.
Picnic (1955)
Hits the heart of Heartland youth
This movie tells a simple yet beautiful tale about what really matters in life. I think the actors were perfectly cast, with only William Holden being able to portray the desperation of Hal Carter, a drifter who has tasted life's wildest waters but only longs to settle down and find love. In contrast, Kim Novak plays the girl who has always settled for her small-town life and what her mother tells her to do. When these two forces combine, Kim gets to taste a wilder life while Holden's Hal finds a way to settle down without losing his zest.
Growing up in Nebraska, I can relate especially with the conflicts that the characters go through, trying to find the balance between a life of success, comfort, and popularity or choosing true love. Much like Hal I went to California to become famous but returned disillusioned with life. His ability to find love and joy in the most mundane town in Kansas gives me hope.
The plot is strengthened by the sub-plots, which perfectly illustrate the hopes and frustrations of small-town America. There is the sister who is not the "pretty one", but who hopes to go to New York and write sensational novels to rebel against the restrictions of her hometown. There is the controlling mother who would prefer her daughter to marry the son of the local grain tycoon. And finally there is the wooing of an old maid schoolteacher by an easy going business man, which provides a look at what Novak and Holden's relationship would be if they were old and desperate for love. All this against the backdrop of a cheerful small-town Labor Day picnic makes for a tale about what really matters in life, a perfect reflection of the American dream balanced with the dreams of the heart.
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) (2000)
Memorize it Quote it Perform it
I first saw this film in my drama class a few years ago. It was cruel of the teacher to break up the showing, just a little bit each day. This is one that you can watch over and over again and still fall out of your chair laughing. Memorize it, quote it, perform it. It doesn't get any better than this.
"I am Omelette, the Cheese Danish" -Austin Tichener Compelete works of Shakespeare Abridged
Extremedays (2001)
Not bad, but obviously "Christian Entertainment"
I saw Extreme Days with my church group last night and had a mixed opinion of it. I did enjoy it, and it was entertaining, but there was definitely an element that only kids in a church group would get. For example, when one character notes among the girl's qualities, "She's smart, she prays like, 100 times a day, she's President of student body", all the kids heads nodded as they said to themselves, "Oh, that's how they'll tie in the Christian element." It is bothersome that there is always a hidden agenda in movies like this. Christians can produce quality cinematic art, but too often the pieces are focused on conversion, and the subtler it gets the more obvious and offensive it becomes. The plot twists ("curveballs" in the trip, as the movie calls them) were interesting and helped carry the story around, and the extreme sports and music were good, but it was too obviously low-budget and intended to appeal to and convert young teenagers.
The movie makers need to come to the realization that if they want a movie to appeal to the youth of this generation, the stereotypes of gen-Xers do not identify with our generation and they need new ideas, not "another teen movie".
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Frustrating to say the least
When I left the theater, I was caught somewhere between inspired and frustrated. The movie is epic in it's scale and story, but the performances are mostly too overdone to make it at all realistic. I didn't find myself really loving any of the characters the way that Luke, Han, Leia, and Chewie endeared themselves to me. Many performances, such as Samuel L. Jackson's Mace Windu or Hayden Christensen's Anakin, were such obvious attempts at dramatizing the entire thing that it left one feeling sick.
Overall, the movie was action packed and the granduer helped pull me through the weak plot. The problem was, Star Wars has become so serialized and popular that certain lines or moments meant to be dramatic (such as the much talked about Yoda scenes) caused the entire audience to laugh rather than hold their breath. It was good in the sense that Starship Troopers or Wing Commander was good, a nice epic battle between huge sci-fi digital forces, but it held none of the charm or spirit of the original Star Wars. Final note, a buddy of mine pointed out that for the last twenty years the Jedi Council has been powerful and mysterious in the minds of fans, but this movie makes them all out to be confused and lost in the "darkness of the force". They almost deserve to be exterminated!
Godzilla (1998)
It's not really that bad
Even though the movie has many implausible and/or cliched plot twists, the acting is alright, there is quite a bit of subtle humor, and the special effects are pretty top of the line. I think that it's a great action movie, and right in line with the classic Godzilla movies of old. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and neither should the viewer. If one looks at it that way, then the movie is quite entertaining and enjoyable, if not quite a cinematic masterpiece.