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The Black Phone (2021)
Actually a good one in the horror genre
This is not maybe a horror horror movie, but it is a horror movie and a fairly good one too. The tone of the movie is quite dark and a bit depressing, but it still makes it worthwhile watching it. Ethan Hawke is so good in this and it's almost impossible to even know it's him, he really is a totally different kind of character. The plot is fresh and keeps the tension quite well. I would have loced to learn s bit more about the villain and maybe wished that the main character would have been more curious to know more, but it's a minor flaw in the movie. The characters are also likable and the kid actors did a brilliant job as well.
Worth of watching if you are down with not fo uplifting horror and like to see something refreshing.
Halloween (2018)
Could have been better, could have been way worse
My opinion of this movie is an even tie between a good and bad movie. I am happy they chose to do a movie where there is a original chacter, meaning Laurie. I like her feisty energy in this, even at times it feels like they could have toned down a bit her reactions caused by traumas about Myers. But I really appreciate Laurie has balls too.
Somewhat annoying but logical addition to the plot is Laurie's daughter and granddaughter. I feel they must have made the decision to follow mostly the granddaughter so younger audience can encage this movie. Or rather encage the audience they know will be bringing the cash in. The true fans really don't need that thou. And I personally felt that some parts about the daughter and granddaughter were just boring. Still I guess they did need to be in there to add some structure to the plot.
But still I feel like there could have been more time for Myers and Laurie, but they kept it very minimal. Maybe they didn't trust that Jamie Lee could carry the modern audience.
Over all I wasn't that dissapointed and it was mostly an ok experience. Especially now after seeing the movies that followed this one. Next to them this is a gem. On it's own a decent movie.
Halloween Ends (2022)
They made sure nobody wants to touch Myers with a 10 feet pole
What a mess! It has to be the most poorly written pieces there is in the 2000's :0. It's obvious they didn't know or care what they made of this. The plot was pretty much obvious from start but it doesn't make any sense. I thought it was going to be an "epic finale" to end the whole thing but rather than giving viewers that they just went like "you know what, I am bored let's write a completely different kind of a movie".
It's like they forgot the first movie completely. Even if it was terrible, it still felt like it was trying to build the finale I am sure people thought they would evetually be seeing. Jokes on you! We never get to see one.
This movie is not about Halloween at all, but rather some poor attempt to ride the legend and relive some of the classic 80's horror movies. I mean I can definitely see there are subtle and nonsubtle! References to Lost Boys (the "love story" and effin endeless motorcycle driving with the jumping from roofs and dancing 0_0), Texas Chainshaw Massacre 2 ( the 80's style radiostation) and IT (Myers lives in a sewer now :0). I don't know if this was the directors attempt to give something nostalgic to the viewers or was he really attempting to ride on those good movies in the hopes to add something good to this as well. I have no idea, but it does more harm then good.
Only staple thing about this piece is that it's rotten, nothing makes sense, the poor plot, boring scenes, events unevenness of the characters and their motives. The scenes aren't bound together in anyway. It's just scene after a scene like in some poor edited music video. The dialogue is terrible and the relationships and events aren't logical, real feeling and the whole movie just fails to connect with the viewers in every way possible. It's always a super bad sign if the movie can't encage and intreract even in a lower level with the audience. The relevanse of what is shown and what isn't doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense.
Even though I knew they couldn't do a good film after watching Halloween Kills and being bored out of my mind, I feel like they could have had at least had fun with this. But they didn't even do that. They spent forever with unneccesary yapping scenes with the reality star turned in to actress and minium with the stuff that actually matters! There is more yapping in the movie than Myers or anything interesting at all. Of yeah, and the endless motorcycle driving! Like why the heck do we need to see several scenes of that bullcrap? At least they could have given us some scenes with suspension and horror or at least goofy stupid death scenes to laught at but nah not even that. Just some tired quick ass kills with nothing fun. It's like blowing air into a broken balloon that get's limb every other second. Oh yeah except that one freaking weird scene with the tongue cutting. The hell was that about?0_0
I think the 2018 Halloween was the real ending and then they got greedy and threw up these because they felt they had a good thing going. Because you know $$$. Sad thing. The is really no real attempt to make quality movies anymore, if there is quick bucks to gain.
So if you want to see the Halloween end, just watch again Halloween 2018 what is the real ending, I am sure that was ment to be. The others are just for you to lose your money, time and sanity. Or better yet watch The original Halloween 2.
I would like to say something positive about this in the end but I really don't have anything good to say about this film. Nothing. Nada. Zero.
You have to wonder why in earth did they brought these writers and director together to make this junk? Just looking at what kind of movies they have previously made makes you have a question or few. Maybe because Halloween Kills was a flop they felt it's ok to throw the whole thing to the pooper for good so nobody ever want's to touch it again. Since they couldn't do it, they made sure that nobody can. It feels like very unfair thing to do, since this is Carpenter's creation and not Green's. I hear people have been demanding for a new movie to replace this one. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT MAKE ONE! Let's just forget these two ever happened and let the real horror movie writers and directors do their job for now on.
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
Tasteful and bright take of the classic
Absolute loved the original approach of this movie to the lore of vampires. It was outside the box and well written. The tempo might be slow for some but this movie is more about setting the athmosphere that carried and painted the vampire's soul than focusing on the plot. Sincerely effortless humor and great acting makes this one easy and entertaining to watch. Maybe not for everyone since it's not really a horror movie neither a comedy but rather a movie that stood on it's own without a clear genre but anyone who likes mood setting horror themed films with some blood in it will find this worth of their time.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
This movie left me angrier than falling into the river of slime
The 6 year old me felt a tiny jolt of happiness (and spooks) when they first announced there was going to be a third movie. After seeing the 2016 movie I felt almost safe to say that Afterlife couldn't be worse than that. Then I saw the trailer...The cast is replaced with kids and the only familiar things seen in it is Ecto-1. It was obvious this was going to be yet another classic movie taken into pieces and thrown to the new audience to make some quick bucks and introduce the classic in a form a new generation can handle. Which is never good news to the hardcore fans:( Took me a whole year to finally watch it and I mainly watched it because I was hoping to see a glimpse of the orginal gang (one star comes from that 10 minutes in the movie they are part of it) and Slimer. And maybe because the script was written by Akroyd and Ramis.
The movie is sticky in so many ways (and sadly no, it's not because of ectoplasm). First problem is the cast. You can't expect hold together a great movie saga by throwing in completely unfamiliar faces and try to say that this is a continuation for the last ones! ( That's why the 2016 movie was such a flop to begin with. Replacing cool gang because of girl power.) The second problem is that they replaced the cast with kids. Could they at least have chose adult actors to be the main characters? Even if they try to sell the main character as some super smart kid with asberger's saving the world, it's still not convincing enough when in the first movie there where actual scientists at least doing the job.
It doesn't help that none of the characters are exiting. They try to throw little bit everything to the mix: the smarty, the lovehungry teenager and of course a vague lovestory between the adult characters and deeply rooted trauma (that bring nothing to the movie by the way) for the parents watching this movied with their kids. The whole cast feels flat and lacks in responding logically to the things happening around them. "Oh there is a Sumerian god's temple suddenly popping here, ok let's just go check it out and find stuff like dead dude in a glass coffin and not be even vaguely surprised about it."
But the real problem in the movie isn't even the lame cast and their hollow responses. It 's the fact the movie feels..."highly illogical" all together. Major flaw is that the plot never gives a reason WHY. The kids just happen to be there and all the suddenly it's their mission to go casually start trapoing the ghosts and save the world, you know just a week in your avarage kids's life (In good movies where the kids are made the main heroes conquring the imaginable task, at least they give a good reason for it). There is no logical or illogical bonding between any of the characters and no deeper level to them. Only the mom seems to have some fragment of story and feel behind her. Also they all just happen to know everything what's going on and what they have to do about it, even if there is no way them to know it and they don't explain to the viewer's why or how they know it. It's a real problem modern money cashing movies all seem to have. And it's a really huge issue in this movie particularly since we are supposed to be dropped into the realms of supernatural, stuff that should raise couple of questions and an eyebrow at least.
The storyline is basically just a repetition of the old movies. There are million scenes that are just straight up clip pasted on to this one. From the Slimer look-a-like "Muncher" ( replacing Slimer as well was disapointing for someone who was expecting to see at least one familiar and well loved face:(), to the actual scenes re-staged to the main villan. I mean since this was going to be a whole new movie they could have just made it entirely their own from scratch. Now it's just a bad version of the old ones with Gozer returning for whatever reason to some random hill billy town to shake things up again.
The fact that they have brought virtually EVERYTHING from the original movie is a clear try to make the people who actually watched and loved the original ones happy and try to calm us down for taking away the stuff that actually matters to the fans. No amount of twinkies ain't going to salvage that.
Other mentionable issues are the over use of the original music. Even in the scenes where nothing is happening they constatly play it. It's like they are desperate to make viewers get to the mood, create emotions that aren't showing on or off screen and convince this is still ghostbusters you are watching. Also the whole story is just kind of a icky mess. There is no clear and functional way to the scenes to follow up each other and it just feels over edited or real sloppy screenwriting. I got the feeling they probably didn't use a proper time to do actual storyboard, or it was real loose one in purpose. Which probably was the case since many of the frames seen in the movie aren't well put together at all and it's the only consistent thing trought the whole movie. There is no memorable shots in the film. The angles, the distance and characters in the shots aren't well placed. It's like they just did their thing and what was captured was captured. Important scenes could have really been more effective if at least the camerawork and placing would have been better.
The lines in the movie aren't memorable at all, althought they try to sprinkle lines from the first movie here and there. The movie isn't funny and I guess they really didn't try hard to make it funny in the first place, but the scenes they try to make funny flop big time. I think I only gave one chuckle during the whole movie where the boy defeats one man war in the car with those tiny stay puff marshmallow creatures.
There is so much more I could complain about but let's finally look at the thing I actually did like besides the short visit from the original members. The second star I gave because of the outstanding CGI they used in the last scene to bring Egon back. Seeing him made me truly emotional and tiery eyed. The last 10 minutes or so with the old cast coming back was actually the saviour of this whole movie and it is the only part you might want to see because it was the only familiar feeling scene. The movie also had nice special effects, like cool actual animatronics which I would have loved to see more of. Shame they did all that amazing art work and it wasn't used enough.
It's debatable whether it's ethical to create a person with CGI that has passed away but I think it's the main reason why a fan of the 1984 and 1989 movies would actually watch this. For the newer audience or the older audience who liked ghostbusters as a kid and now has kids of their own, this might be a fun one to watch together for a nostalgic movie night with family. To anybody else (especially the true fans) I would suggest to just watch the originals and raise a glass to Ramis and the times when they still made wholesome movies like Ghostbusters🖤
The Sleepless Unrest: The Real Conjuring Home (2021)
"Hey, I got a crazy idea, like lets go to the conjuring house and make a documentary!"
Granted this movie didn't need another review to tell you how bad it is, but here we go.
It sreams unprepared all over it. The music, no screenwriting, just cut scenes that are all over. I would have liked hearing more history but this is like teenagers sneaking to an abadonned building that is said to be haunted. What's the point?
The Good Neighbor (2016)
Boring and beyond
Ok, fair enough I did watch this movie maybe only 30 min or so with my one eye open but there was a relevant reasons for this to happen. First of all, the storytelling really lacks tempo. It's changes quickly from too many montages to some still just sitting aroung boring to pieces of a little action that aren't rewarding to the watcher. It's like waiting a paint to drop but it never does land on the ground but rather dries on the way down and never lands. Also what makes it further horrible to watch that the time isn't linear but the timeframe jumps from present to future. Also for entire time it was really unclear what kind of movie was I watching again? I thought it was some sort of tension/thiller/horror but it really is just two teenagers doing their teenage things to a random guy. The montage scenes that seems to make 50% of the movie just make it weird furthermore.
So boring I would not recommend even to try it. 2 points come from the some what original idea and from some rather good music tracks.
I Am Not a Serial Killer (2016)
Dreamlike
This is not a movie for the standard movie watchers for sure. You have to like horror movies in general to learn to give this a go. Despise it's title it's not going to give you just what you would expect but for a person interested in serial killers there is entertaiment in that field as well. Unique story, musics are really nice and it's a slow paced dream kind of experience. Not a scare horror movie but a narrative one. Recomend watching when ready for a story that takes time to build and hold's it in for the very end.
Halloween Kills (2021)
If you gonna kill Myers, do it with ironingboard
Where to begin.....well as a great Halloween legacy fan I was sure enough happy when they resurected Myers again. The last movie, allthough far from perfect, was mostly enjoyable and had some good scenes. So sure I was like "bring it".
Also was I expecting to see something similar to the previous movie, since it is a follow up for the same story? Well, yes I did. Was it that? Oh boy it sure enough wasn't.
Instead of giving people an exciting movie about Myers coming back they decide "hey let's not!". It's like they decided to take every unnesecery footage there was that normally get's edited away and make that into a movie instead. I don't know maybe the person in charge with the editing accidentally edited the good parts away and kept the trash. And they decide to publish the garbage anyways:D That's how it felt watching anyways.
The movie starts off ok, returning to where the other film one ended, but soon enough it starts to go down hill from there. After the good start the plot then takes us to a bar where random ass people start to mumble stories about Myers. And your like ok, when it's going to end and who the f are these people? Turns out they are one of the side characters from the previous movies and they have a chip, or few, on their shoulder for Myers. Or about a thousand.
It's like waching a never ending classreunion. Maybe the filmmakers tough "oh man, the viewers are in for a treat! We got almost every random side character back to this film!" So? Who gives a rat's bottom? Only characters people care about is Myers, Strode and maybe Loomis. Others...yeah not so much. So you giving them screen time is like watching Borefest 3000.
After babling for god knows how long, they find out Myers is back once more and decide enough is enough and gather what ever weapons they can find in their homes ( one housewife actually brings an ironingboard 0_0) and kill Myers for good.
No need to tell the bad start doesn't get any better and the whole movie is about bunch of random ass characters hunting Myers and being dumb beyond your imagination. You really don't care if they live or die. Probably if anything, you hope they get at least mulled by Myers, since they are that stupid. And sure enough there is a lot of dying.
Also we don't get to see much of the only relevant character includind Myers. During the whole movie Laurie just pretty much lies in a hospital bed , uncapable of doing anything. Instead her annoying daughter is made into a "main hero" and that is a horrible decision.
I just feel the whole movie is unwelcome addition to the legacy of the shape. The movie is just mind bogglingly stupid from plot to scenes to lines.
There is this tiny tiny effort trying to build this deeper reasoning for Myers in the plot, but it really isn't good enough reason to watch this mess. And it just fails to carry anything deeper since it feels like a tired try to even give viewers a relevantly decent film, talking about a good one. Too bad it wasn't even a decent one. 1 point because you can't give zero.
The Lost Boys (1987)
Amazing
Very rare horror movies get comedy and horror together without eeze. This one does and does it with such a breeze. It's a light to watch horror flick with cute characters and playful storytelling. They didn't invent much new for the classic vampire lore but they did switch it up a bit which is refreshing. Using safe grounds played in their favor and they had enough time to think about the plot, the flow of the story, the lines and overall concept. The movie is really funny and it does it with cute 80's stylethat makes you fall in love with it. Very entertaining and still to this day one of the best light horror movies about vampires. Also the nostalgia of the scenery and the music is never ending with this one, so it's a treat for 80's kids.
The Serpent's Kiss (1997)
Marvell
This is a beautiful movie about human's relationship with love and nature and accepting the true nature of them. It is greatly inspired by the poet Adrew Marvell and it's just as poetic. It's a movie to breath in with it's slow paced lingering scenes. Beautiful scenery, acting, lines, music and costumes. Excellent actors. The plot I find really special and not something you come by very often and love the strong essence it has and it's soul. So sad this movie is rated so low, I guess it isn't for everybody but it might be really something for someobe who is willing to capture it's message and it's mesmerazing rhytm.
Koirat eivät käytä housuja (2019)
Interesting subject with no edge
Since there aren't so many interesting finnish movies I was rather excitet to see this one. Unfortunately it didn't deliver. It is fsirly obvious somewehere from a good start the movies just losts itself. The main plot and man characters progression is forgotten in bdsm scenes and overall drifting. There isn't enough evidence to build the story believably from start to finnish. One of the worst parts are that they totally forget the relationship with the father and daughter and they don't really build enough tension and sense between the main characters. Also the way the main characters gets into bdsm is rather hard for anybody to believe if they know anything about bdsm at all. Still something you might enjoy if you have nothing more special to watch. I appreciate the effort trying to make something different .
Breaking Bad (2008)
Addicting serie
It's an old serie but I actually just managed to watch it! And so glad I did since it's bad ass, ground breaking and entertaining ass hell. Walter is such a strong main character and it's truly entertaining to see the character grow. Acting is truly skilled and there is dry comedy springled a cross the episodes. There some episodes where you feel like they are repeating stuff for sole purpose of coming up story, but it's a very small flaw in the glass.
The Keeper (2004)
You don't have enough points to watch this film
This movies has to be the most stupid one I ever watched. The lines are ridiculous( that becomes painfully obvious when you hear Hopper telling a story about Mr. Rat), the whole movie is just basically Argento yelling for help help and about Hopper's handpuppet making a career for himself. Yes I wrote handpuppet you didn't misread. I mean yes there are a lot of bad movies out there but this one had a pretty straightforward plot so it's nothing but amazing how in earth they managed to fail this badly. If you want to laugh and cry at the same time maybe watch this but in any other case, maybe don't.
Crimson Peak (2015)
Beautiful visually but that's pretty much it
Like all the director's movies this one grasps breathtaking imaginery. The costumes, scenes,setting...everything has been filed to perfection. It is very pleasurable to watch for that reason. I was little dissapointed however that even thought the plot is really interesting, it didn't succeed to carry from beginning to the end. I regret to say that the movie kind of gets lost in the visual world and less attention is given to the performance of the actors and over all attempt to create horror. This is a classic victorian ghost story so I wasn't really excpecting to be scared and jumping from my seat while watching it but still I feel they could have pursued more horror into it. I feel Wasikowska's performance and character failed to give the real structure it was meant to give to the movie. She seems almost lifeless and there isn't enought time to built a love relationship between the lovers. I really strugled to understand how they even fall in love in the movie since there a very few scenes them actually even talking or bonding yet alone falling in love intensively. But nevertheless even for the sake of just adoring how pretty this movie is, it's worth of watching for sure.
Insomnia (2002)
Walking in your sleep
This is a dreamy and compelling masterpiece. The setting in nightless Alaska is perfect placing for the movie and it ties the emotion and state of the caracter to movie flawlessly. I find AlPacino being little off at times, but then again it goes well with him being affected of lack of sleeping. The story is told well and there are no boring or unnessecery bits there. Only thing I would have wanted to learn more about was Robin William's character. Overall a terrific movie that is my all time favorite for a reason. It has suspence, intellect, tension, progression and flow that many other similar movies lack of.
The Frozen Ground (2013)
Flat and outright unnecessary film
I was looking forward watching this movie based on a true serial killer because the exellent cast. In addition to that I imagined since the set up was already layed out for them it would surely be a good movie. Unfortunately this wasn't the case. The plot doesn't carry at all. Instead making a good movie about a serial killer they decided it was a good idea to add the victims journey in there too, adding the police befriending with her. It doesn't work since it makes the plot jump like crazy and it doesn't carry the movie well at all. There is no excitement or thrill, just a line of unnessary scenes piled together and layered with same monotone music that is played at wrong places. Also the actors act like they couldn't care less and were bored the whole time. I think the director was hoping to create something like 8 mm (but user friendly by trying to save the victim in this one) and Insomnia. Only thing I enjoyed was seeing the pretty nature of Alaska. Unless you are hardcore Cage fan skip this one and watch something better.