How can there be so many positive comments for a movie that is the equivalent to a bronzed turd? Either drugs were involved, the Pod People took you over or an army of studio interns and PR lackeys is spinning overtime (I vote for the last one). From the way-lazy title cards and opening narration to the costumes to the cartoonish action sequences, this is an all-around dropped ball. Maybe Charlize Theron's mother needed an operation or something. This is brainless sci-fi, a puffed-up issue movie that ultimately offers nothing but regret. Don't be so bent on getting value for your $10 investment - sometimes, like here, there is nothing to champion, nothing to justify. Try sneaking in once in a while and see how that changes your perception. It's like putting on the glasses in "They Live" - you start to see crap for what it really is, and will eventually have the time to find the movies that are actually worth two hours of your precious life.
Reviews
4 Reviews
Sox pox docs rocks
4 May 2004
There is a moment in BACK TO THE FUTURE II (1989) when Charles Fleischer says to an incredulous, time traveling Michael J. Fox, who has recently arrived in 2015 and just read (on a holographic billboard) of a miraculous Chicago Cubs World Series victory, "I wish I could go back to the beginning of the season and put some money on the Cubbies." The fact that the Boston Red Sox have not won a World Series since 1918 might prove hands-down that time travel is not possible, otherwise, by now, someone would have prevented George Steinbrenner's parents from conceiving him or sited a garbage dump where Yankee Stadium stands. Still, close to a century of losing has not deterred the likes of the eight super-fans profiled in the engaging documentary, STILL, WE BELIEVE: THE BOSTON RED SOX MOVIE [PG].
Originally, director and Emmy winner Paul Doyle set out (with unprecedented access) to clinically dissect the 2003 season, unaware of the nail-biting championship run the season would be. He was also unaware from whence would come the *real* drama and the *real* struggle -- the fans. Once he realized this, he wisely set out to cast this ultimately colorful bunch of masochists.
Hilariously opinionated WEEI radio regular Paul "Angry Bill" Constine comes off as the most quotable (and funniest), and Fenway fixtures/Boston chicks extraordinaire Jessamy Finet and Erin Nanstad perfectly typify the all-weather hopeful. The inclusion of California transplant Jim Connors, who proudly operates Santa Monica's Boston sports bar Sonny McLean's, is a nice touch, but the most touching fan tale is that of Dan Cummings, the Hyde Park native who was paralyzed from the chest down in a boating accident. His brass ring quest to walk again is inspiring, though it would seem that New England sports fans used up their collective synchronicity credit by winning two Superbowls with a kick in the final seconds.
It seems best that Doyle shifted the focus onto the fans, because while the behind-the- scenes footage does provide context and counterbalance, it is fairly mundane stuff. Predictably, first baseman Kevin Millar is the chattiest and most colorful of the bunch, and, as we expect, elusive superstars Pedro Martinez and Nomar Garciaparra barely register. Despite being a celebrated wunderkind, GM Theo Epstein is criminally boring on camera, so perhaps it was out of necessity that Doyle shifted his focus toward the comparatively dynamic battalion of the faithful. They not only make for some innately entertaining comedy and tragedy, but they demonstrate -- and please forgive the waxing grandiose here -- the grand struggle that is this human life. Besides, as Angry Bill so aptly puts it, "If they won, I wouldn't know what to do." Score: 3.5/5
Originally, director and Emmy winner Paul Doyle set out (with unprecedented access) to clinically dissect the 2003 season, unaware of the nail-biting championship run the season would be. He was also unaware from whence would come the *real* drama and the *real* struggle -- the fans. Once he realized this, he wisely set out to cast this ultimately colorful bunch of masochists.
Hilariously opinionated WEEI radio regular Paul "Angry Bill" Constine comes off as the most quotable (and funniest), and Fenway fixtures/Boston chicks extraordinaire Jessamy Finet and Erin Nanstad perfectly typify the all-weather hopeful. The inclusion of California transplant Jim Connors, who proudly operates Santa Monica's Boston sports bar Sonny McLean's, is a nice touch, but the most touching fan tale is that of Dan Cummings, the Hyde Park native who was paralyzed from the chest down in a boating accident. His brass ring quest to walk again is inspiring, though it would seem that New England sports fans used up their collective synchronicity credit by winning two Superbowls with a kick in the final seconds.
It seems best that Doyle shifted the focus onto the fans, because while the behind-the- scenes footage does provide context and counterbalance, it is fairly mundane stuff. Predictably, first baseman Kevin Millar is the chattiest and most colorful of the bunch, and, as we expect, elusive superstars Pedro Martinez and Nomar Garciaparra barely register. Despite being a celebrated wunderkind, GM Theo Epstein is criminally boring on camera, so perhaps it was out of necessity that Doyle shifted his focus toward the comparatively dynamic battalion of the faithful. They not only make for some innately entertaining comedy and tragedy, but they demonstrate -- and please forgive the waxing grandiose here -- the grand struggle that is this human life. Besides, as Angry Bill so aptly puts it, "If they won, I wouldn't know what to do." Score: 3.5/5
Made-Up
(2002)
Some Real American Beauty
11 March 2004
With the same sort of unabashed honesty that helped make "Something's Gotta Give" such a hit with the 40+ set is Emmy-winning "Monk" star Tony Shalhoub's directorial debut. This "middle age comedy" features his wife, the still-lovely Brooke Adams ("Days of Heaven"), as an actress in her 50's who laments both the fading of her looks and the social nether-strata she has been banished to by a youth-worshipping public. With a warm and deft emotional sense, writer Lynne Adams, who is Brooke's sister, provides Shalhoub's cast, which also includes Eva Amurri of "The Banger Sisters", Gary Sinise ("The Human Stain") and Shalhoub himself, with plenty of ripe material to explore. Without rising to the preachy "these kids today" levels to which Clint Eastwood often rises in celebrating age and wisdom, Shalhoub's love for not only his wife, but also telling a good story, shine through. Score: 3.5/5
The Passion of the Christ
(2004)
SINFULLY INEPT
8 March 2004
God may, in fact, be Love, but it is a message that barely makes it beyond the pretentious spectacle that is tunnel visionary Mel Gibson's THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST.
While the looming anti-Semitic question is entirely subjective, what *is* clear is that the film *is* lazy and anti-climactic, and therein lies its sin. Reducing Christ's teachings to fortune cookie sound bites, Gibson tells what is supposed to be the Greatest Story Ever Told in a most utterly unimaginative, by-the-Book way. Heck, more of The Gospel can be found in 'Davey and Goliath,' and without brutal disembowelings.
Like the LORD OF THE RINGS films, themselves based heavily on scripture and Catholic doctrine, swaying the unconverted is a feat akin to turning tap water into Dom Perignon. It is a job for only One Man, and unfortunately for film fans, his name is not Mel Gibson. Still, he and indie studio Newmarket are asking church groups and families to come out in force to support the film. This is a curious request, indeed, as the film is not only gorier than any chainsaw massacre, but also violent far beyond the mandate of its R rating. One scene in which Roman soldiers flog and flay Jesus is more like a gang rape than a punishment, and borders on pornographic.
The fact that the dialogue is performed entirely in Aramaic and Latin is problematic, too. This strains the emotional connection that Gibson is after, as audiences will spend the Christians-to-the-lions' share of the film looking at the subtitles, instead of the actors' faces.
Finding a new take on the life, death and Ascension of Jesus Christ (earnest trouper James Caviezel) in Gibson's game of career suicide chicken is a lot like a child trying to find joy in a coloring book in which all the pictures are already colored in. Gibson connects all the dots for us, and sadly, the result is little more than a black-and-white picture of God's big hand pointing judgmentally at all of us dirty, dirty sinners.
While the looming anti-Semitic question is entirely subjective, what *is* clear is that the film *is* lazy and anti-climactic, and therein lies its sin. Reducing Christ's teachings to fortune cookie sound bites, Gibson tells what is supposed to be the Greatest Story Ever Told in a most utterly unimaginative, by-the-Book way. Heck, more of The Gospel can be found in 'Davey and Goliath,' and without brutal disembowelings.
Like the LORD OF THE RINGS films, themselves based heavily on scripture and Catholic doctrine, swaying the unconverted is a feat akin to turning tap water into Dom Perignon. It is a job for only One Man, and unfortunately for film fans, his name is not Mel Gibson. Still, he and indie studio Newmarket are asking church groups and families to come out in force to support the film. This is a curious request, indeed, as the film is not only gorier than any chainsaw massacre, but also violent far beyond the mandate of its R rating. One scene in which Roman soldiers flog and flay Jesus is more like a gang rape than a punishment, and borders on pornographic.
The fact that the dialogue is performed entirely in Aramaic and Latin is problematic, too. This strains the emotional connection that Gibson is after, as audiences will spend the Christians-to-the-lions' share of the film looking at the subtitles, instead of the actors' faces.
Finding a new take on the life, death and Ascension of Jesus Christ (earnest trouper James Caviezel) in Gibson's game of career suicide chicken is a lot like a child trying to find joy in a coloring book in which all the pictures are already colored in. Gibson connects all the dots for us, and sadly, the result is little more than a black-and-white picture of God's big hand pointing judgmentally at all of us dirty, dirty sinners.
Tell Your Friends