adolphuz Reviews

The Ark (2023– )

stupendously horrendous

[1/10 · 2 March 2023]

Just bad. So bad, it'll force you to cringe and roll your eyes every two minutes. While that may amount to good exercise for the eyes, the show itself amounts to a cash grab. The makers of this travesty obviously just took syfy's money and thought, well, audiences are stupid, let's feed them utter garbage and coast through our jobs. It feels like you're watching a 1960 tv show, when tv was still a novelty for many and therefore standards needed not be high or even mediocre. The first episode is 45 minutes of torment to an adult and every one thereafter follows it faithfully. I've watch three so far, forced to do so by that trancelike state you enter when a tragedy unfold before your eyes, like a car crash or someone jumping off a bridge. This proves to be its tv equivalent, a regrettable disaster all around. Syfy, please rid yourself of any association with the morons who produced this!

Echo 3 (2022–2023)

really bad

[1/10 · 25 November 2022]

The show is unrealistic. The lead character looks like a model, not a soldier. The love scenes make it feel like a lifetime channel series. It just feels cringey. This is no homeland, nothing like it, though I believe that's what they were aspiring to,but fell woefully short. I cant even say it could have been better, because obviously the quality of writers and creators who envisioned this mess could not do better than sub-mediocre. If you've never served, eat it up, watch it with your girlfriend, maby entertain yourself with the illusion that this resembles the reality of soldiering and any of it is actually possible. Then when its done, go back to watching lifetime.

American Gigolo (2022)

No grit

[1/10 · 21 October 2022]

A show with no grit. The only asset here is Jon Bernthal, who I've always liked as an actor. The show hits all the cliches, like Gretchen's mol's line: ' last night was amazing.' The woman is an old battleaxe, yet the show is trying to portray her like she's a sixteen year old schoolgirl with her first boyfriend. So cringy. And bernthal is in the gigolo biz for the good he can do for the lonely women he meets, not for the money or sex. Who wrote this crap? It feels as if the writers were writing for a 1980's show, where everything is written from an idealistic point of view, and every character is either black or white, either entirely good or entirely bad, no nuanced characters. It's really very poor television. Oh, and anyone notice Bernthal has a slight humpback? I imagine that is why women in this show are so drawn to him and consider him such a huge piece of man-candy. Women do love that extra back-flesh. Bad writing, even with good actors cannot equate to a good show.

Fleabag (2016–2019)

just ok

[1/10 · 18 August 2022]

It' ok, not great at all. Much better comedies out there. If a show has no rely on a joke about anal in its first episode, to me that speaks of desperation. Leave that for the 3rd or 4th please. The comedy is neither sophisticated nor especially funny, its sort of bland to tell the truth. Its still an ok show, but I can't understand the rave reviews at all. But then again, I also found killing eve rather boring, so maybe I'm the outlier here.

The Sinner (2017–2021)

long pauses

[1/10 · 18 August 2022]

This could have been good, but it isn't. To make up the time allotment for each episode they use long. Drawn out pauses when someone is about to reveal something interesting or pivotally important in conversation. This annoys me to no end. For instance, when Biel is about to make a significant statement, she seemingly has to count to 10 seconds before reconsidering and admitting nothing, so the story can come back to it and add another 10 minutes to the runtime. It's a shameful strategy.

Resident Evil (2022)

Terrible

[2/10 · 3 August 2022]

This show is so bad. It's like they watched 2 episodes of Walking Dead - another one that's terrible now - added some cgi and came up with this dumpster fire. They should have saved the cgi money and used puppets instead, no one would have cared, seeing how awful the totality of it is.

Moonhaven (2022)

Good show

[9/10 · 7 July 2022]

Really into sci-fi, and this fits the bill. Acting is good, the story so far feels great, and it manages to properly immerse you in this strange other world. I'm eager for more of this show, since I've only seen 2 episodes to date.

Titane (2021)

very violent

[8/10 · 21 June 2022]

Good movie, just be prepared for some unsettling violence. It does serve a purpose though, so it's not gratuitous. Has visceral quality too. Reminds me a little of Martyrs.

Ms. Marvel (2022)

Huge fan

[10/10 · 15 June 2022]

Huge fan of comics here, been collecting them for over a decade. I actually like this more than I do Moon Knight, which I found irritating because of the split personality thing - quite disorienting sometimes. I know it's aimed at a younger audience, but it's fun and light, which isn't bad at all.

Two Weeks to Live (2020)

entertaining

[10/10 · 8 June 2022]

Reminds me of Amazon's hanna, but with humour. Really enjoyed this series. Maisie williams is well suited to the part, which perhaps parodies other shows wherein stick thin women looking like fashion models toss around big burly 300 lbs. Baddies.

That Dirty Black Bag (2022– )

it's really good

[10/10 · 8 June 2022]

The first episode made me assume it would be like a spaghetti western, but it definitely wasn't that at all. By the last episode, I was already craving another season. Performances are great and the twist to the western genre works well to keep it fresh.

Panic (2021)

seems strictly meant for teens

[2/10 · 5 June 2022]

It feels as if this is written by sixteen year old girls for sixteen year old girls. It's sophomoric,, saccharine, soapy tv with a little action thrown in, and feels as if it's aimed at the riverdale crowd. If you're a teen, and looking for a nice romantic drama to watch, then this is your cup of tea.

Eternals (2021)

Great movie, requires some background

[8/10 · 20 May 2022]

I love this movie and that's only because I've been reading about the Eternals for years in comic books. I think Marvel gets itself in trouble with audiences by assuming everyone has an understanding of their characters from their comics beforehand. I can imagine going into the cinema having never heard of The Eternals before, i would definitely be confused and annoyed enough with the story to give it a low score.

It actually is a beautiful movie, and my second favourite superhero movie, after the Snyder Cut.

House of Fools (2014–2015)

Silly and absurd show

[2/10 · 11 May 2022]

Only reason it gets as high as a 2 is because of the godly Matt Berry, otherwise its just unfunny chaos masquerading under the guise of surrealistic tv. Can't fathom what motivates the actors to assume what they're doing onscreen could somehow be considered even faintly amusing much less comedy.

Three Busy Debras (2020–2022)

Weird but nice

[8/10 · 11 May 2022]

This show has a kind of Beetlejuice weirdness to it; another reviewer said 'surreal,' which I think perfectly describes it. The episodes are short enough, and the fantastic nature of its humour just apt enough, to hold enough intrigue to see you through each one. I like it, its kind of refreshing because it leans heavily on its eccentric approach to comedy which ultimately seems to work to its credit.

Hawkeye (2021)

So, so bad!

[1/10 · 9 May 2022]

Marvel just seems bent on making money with its tv series based purely on feelings of nostalgia evoked by their high profile movies. Loki was lacklustre, but Hawkeye, is absolutely terrible. They don't seem to care about quality, 'just slap the name Marvel on it and ppl are bound to watch and praise it,' - seems to be Marvel's thinking these days. And why not, viewers still watch shows about finding Bigfoot, which goes to show how naive the viewing audience actually is, so perhaps Marvel is justified in their approach. Anyhoo, I watched just 2 episodes of this trash, then gave up on it, good for you if you like it though.

Halo (2022– )

Really good

[9/10 · 7 April 2022]

I love this show, it's halo after all. I get the gripes though, about the cgi. Could've done better with the covenant, more detailed, more menacing. Pablo Schreiber was a good choice for Master Chief, he has the cool swagger of a badass, and the quiet moodiness of a serial killer. The story they devised is also good, very simplistic, but gripping enough to want to know what happens next. If they improve on the cgi next season, it'll get my 10. Also, i'm at episode 3 and no grunts yet, where are those little rascals?

Yellowstone (2018– )

Unrelistic, contrived and trying too hard

[3/10 · 31 March 2022]

Really gave this show a chance, if only because 1883 and The Mayor of Kingstown were soooo good. Thought it might live up to those levels of excellence. It does not. A cowboy's life is hard, i get it, but it's apparently also boring as hell, and no amount of heavy-handed macho dialogue and manly energy will change that. Also, the show tries hard at every opportunity to prove how masculine every character is, which makes them in the end just seem so unrealistic it comes across as farcical. This show is what Succession would be if it had bad writers and a bad vision, the dysfunctional family dynamic is very similar. Happy for you if you like it though, just not my bag.