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mjgipps
Reviews
Grizzly Man (2005)
Tribute to The Bear Stalker...(Contains Spoilers)
Man, I am afraid of bears... that Treadwell guy who roughed it in Alaska was insane...Werner Herzog knew that the real horror of the film was a man who was his own worst enemy. Werner Herzog did a great job of exploiting Treadwell posthumously. I can't believe that one scene where Treadwell picks up a piece of fresh bear feces and caresses it. Perhaps, he got what he deserved ...if that guy was bothering me and caressing my bowel movement...I would have done something drastic too. Shoot me ...I sound mean...but honestly...it is inhumane to disturb the wild to the extent that Treadwell did. At one point, he was even rerouting water for the bears...why was he disturbing their natural habitat...intruding upon it the way that he did? Actually...he was STALKING THE BEARS. Furthermore, his ex girlfriend at home whom he replaced (with younger meat that was gnawed to death in the film -obviously not shown nor heard) was so ecstatic to have a cheap diving watch that was on his dismembered arm back...I'm telling you...some people out there are either not too bright or sick in general...she grabs the watch and says..something similar (not a direct quote) "oh, good, it still works..." While the average woman would be saying... "yuck...get that watch away from me..."
Great film...Werner Herzog rules in exploiting a rare oddball self-proclaimed environmentalist who has done more harm than good. All this, done on a low budget...with the victim's footage. Amazing. Well, at least the victim is no longer upset that he didn't get Woody Harrelson's part on Cheers. Instead, he's famous for being an idiot character too but without the hassle of having to learn lines or be looking for another job after the stint of a long running sitcom--(actually short running had Cheers chosen him. Yes, I did write that this commentary contained spoilers even if everyone knows that this nature tampering Treadwell is bound to get mauled by angry bears from the onset whether you've seen the film or not.) Moral of the Story: Does a bear defecate in the woods? Yes, and heaven forbid... don't caress it... nor video tape yourself caressing it if you know what's good for you...
D.O.D.: Dick of Death (1985)
So Bad it is Hysterical
Awful movie but then again, I dislike pornography. I was at a birthday party in college and somebody whipped out "The Dick of Death"--which is by far the worst movie I had ever seen in my life. The acting is so atrocious (albeit porn) that you must burst out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of this film. The title song has a cheesy lyric that was dated even back in 1985 when the film was released. The film itself has all the wonderful ridiculous clichés of the ultimate low budget porn...including the taboo clichés of a man with pantyhose over his face performing sexual acts. At best, it is raunchy and the actors are quite unattractive. People laugh at this film because it serves as a form of contraception by turning folks off to sex. I highly recommend this film for its comic relief to the bored housewives having parties, bachelor-ettes, and drunken coming of age college girls. I'm sure a man might find it funny too. The men who might find it particularly funny are those engaged in a homosexual lifestyle as this film portrays heterosexuality in its most degenerative and repulsive state. I give this film my ultimate John Water Kudo GoldStar.