Jaffa55 Reviews

John Mulaney Presents: Everybody's in LA (2024)

What is this?

[1/10 · 7 May 2024]

What the hell is this? Tried episode 2, but couldn't get to the end. I get it's a live show with guests and some 'funny' prerecorded segments, so there will be a few hits and misses but I was struggling to identify any of the 'hits'. One of the reasons shows are prerecorded (and live shows avoided) is all the dross can be edited out, but I feel in this case that wouldn't leave much left.

I like John Mulaney as a stand up, but this was clearly just a quick cash in, post drug rehabilitation, requiring very little effort and some favours from showbiz 'pals'.

Maybe it will get better as it progresses but I don't have the strength to give this another go unfortunately.

Cat Person (I) (2023)

Watchable and well acted

[7/10 · 29 March 2024]

It's rare to find a film these days that has a young girl in the lead and she doesn't have any special powers. That's worth 5 out of 10 on its own for me.

A young girl is intrigued by an older man and as the relationship starts to develop she realises he's a bit of a loser and feels sorry for him so much she lets him bang her (badly) and then ends the relationship.

Things then deteriorate as expected, but I felt on the whole this was all done quite well and kept the viewer engaged without having to give the girl telepathic powers or the ability to start fires with her brain etc. Not perfect but well acted and occasionally funny. A bit different from the usual in this type of genre and all the better for it.

Sharky's Machine (1981)

Not dated well

[5/10 · 29 February 2024]

I last watched this about 30 years ago and it's nothing like as good as I remembered it unfortunately. I love Burt Reynolds and this is often quoted as one of his best films, however I don't see it. Starts okay ( if a little by the numbers ) and the scene on the boat is easily the best scene in the film, but everything else before or after feels pretty flat.

Burt is always good to watch and whilst the supporting actors are good quality, they aren't given much to work with and there are whole portions of this film where almost nothing happens.

The ending comes up really quick and leaves quite a few questions unanswered, but to be honest by then I was glad to see the credits rolling.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2024– )

Way better than I expected

[6/10 · 14 February 2024]

Some mixed reviews on here, which if you were expecting the dross of the movie is understandable. This is nothing like the Brad P outing and all the better for it. The acting is good (with a few nice cameos) and whilst some of the episodes are a bit flat or just overly silly, some others are good and do maintain interest.

Let's be honest, 90% of Prime is drivel (yes it is) so to find something that I don't want to switch off after 15 minutes is a result for me, and this series manages that, despite a few occasional wobbles where I got my phone out.

Not perfect but worth a watch and that's all i have to say on the matter as I use up my character limit quota.

The Verdict (1982)

So slooowwww

[4/10 · 3 February 2024]

Crikey this dragged. I love Paul Newman but this was not good. I think I tried to watch it years ago and gave up so tried again and it really is pretty poor. The pacing, drama, tension etc is really not up to much - not sure why this gets ratings of 9 or 10 - I would imagine there are episodes of "Law & Order" that have more dramatic impact. You wait for it to get going but it never really does.

I was hanging on for the big courtroom scenes at the end but these aren't up to much either - and the so called "verdict" is all a bit flat. Doesn't really compare to something like "A few good men". Not Paul's best by a long stretch plus it was £3.49 on Amazon Prime I'll never get back.

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry (2023)

Depressing beyond belief

[3/10 · 25 November 2023]

I'm about half an hour into this film and I'm already clinically depressed. Why do they make films like this? Watched it based on good ratings score. Should have known better. I like films to be uplifting or funny or exciting or dramatic or thought provoking. This film offers none of this.

A miserable old man meanders down the road. People constantly talk to him, feed him, offer him accommodation, ask his advice etc etc. Why? Clearly those adverts that say check on lonely old people are missing a trick - although they need to do is tell them to toddle off down the road and they'll make loads of friends.

No idea how it's going to end but don't care.

Would have given it 1 star but lead actors are good (but can't save this drivel).

The Killer (2023)

John Wick it's not...

[6/10 · 10 November 2023]

A mixed bag of reviews on here which is understandable. People looking for a death toll in the hundreds and lots of ridiculous action are going to be disappointed. David Fincher likes to create tense atmosphere in his films and I think this delivers that, but it is quite slow paced and for many this won't be acceptable.

Michael Fassbender is excellent as the killer, and reminds me of Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men. You'd want him on your side but he's not someone you'd want to have a beer with.

The Killer has some good, suspenseful scenes and a quality soundtrack, however it's main failing is that you have no empathy for the main character. He's clearly a lunatic with few redeeming features so whether he lives or dies becomes largely academic. Other than that, worth a watch.

Sly (2023)

A bit like most of his movies - watchable but not great

[6/10 · 6 November 2023]

As other reviewers have mentioned this felt (and was) a much more compressed insight into a 20th century icon than the Netflix documentary on Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm always intrigued by rags to riches stories (not massively common in the movie industry) and this side of Stallone's life was covered reasonably well.

However unlike the Arnie documentary, there were massive gaps here with regard to Stallone's various issues and actions outside of making movies. Whilst I don't think an actors personal life should be opened out to all and sundry, this did feel like a missed opportunity to get more insight (from himself and other actors) into Stallone's real life and thoughts beyond the one in front of the camera. Stallone was a good actor when given the chance but his choice of movies frequently let him down once he became a big star, something he was all to aware of.

Ultimately 'Sly' showed a reflective, slightly sad man who felt he should have spent more time with his family, but gave us little other insight as to who he really is.

Frasier (2023– )

Feels like a (really bad) village hall farce

[1/10 · 30 October 2023]

Half way through the second episode and this is appalling. Really bad. Don't think I can go any further. As other reviewers have said, the canned laughter is annoying, unnecessary and actually accentuates just how unfunny this is.

I loved the original series - all the actors were brilliant (David Hyde Pierce a comedy genius) but even they wouldn't be able to save this drivel. I can see why they gave it a swerve. Nicolas Lyndhurst was also great in Only Fools and Horses but unfortunately has never come close to those heights since, and this tripe will do nothing to change that.

If it last 2 seasons I'll be amazed.

Old Dads (2023)

Helps if you like Bill Burr

[6/10 · 20 October 2023]

I suspect this film will get some bad reviews, particularly if you aren't familiar with Bill Burr's stand up or you find his style of comedy a bit much (Michael McIntyre he's not). Personally I'm a big fan of Bill and the character he plays in this film is pretty much the one you get in his stand up shows.

The movie was written by Bill and that's evident straight from the start with the dialogue very much in his style and in line with his stand up contains several amusing scenes with middle aged men trying to understand the world of woke. However I felt the film lost some pacing and ran out of steam a little in the second half, as Bill's character makes the transition into something more acceptable to modern society.

Worth a watch if you like Bill. If you don't then maybe not.

Who Is Erin Carter? (2023)

Silly but I watched all of it

[6/10 · 30 August 2023]

As other reviewers have already mentioned this is a silly story with huge plot holes, scarcely believable set pieces and some incredible levels of recovery from severe injuries.

An 8 stone woman knocking seven bells out of big blokes (even martial arts experts) stretches credibility to breaking point, but the story pacing is good enough to maintain interest.

I thought the lead actress played it well enough and was really attractive which also kept me interested. Some of the other acting was a bit dodgy but Dougie Henshall was solid.

There is a lot of unwatchable dross on Netflix where I barely get past the first 20 minutes so for me to watch all of this is a result in itself, so overall I would say this is just about worth a watch.

Fast X (2023)

Dross

[1/10 · 5 August 2023]

Did this really cost $340m? The special effects maybe $1m (they aren't great), Vinny probably got $10m, script writers about $250, so where did the rest go?

A few familiar faces pop up for a quick pay day, but this adds nothing to the story. I literally had no idea what was going on after about 15 mins and I'm not an idiot (or maybe I am for paying for this crud). Everyone is starting to look really old and most of them still can't act.

I only rented this for my 15 & 12 year old sons and even they thought it was dull and stupid. Is it too much to hope in the next one everyone dies so we can definitely put an end to this?

Soundproof (2023)

Slow bordering on stationary

[4/10 · 15 July 2023]

I watched this purely based on the high praise received in several reviews. I generally avoid "low budget" and I very much avoid "low budget British" as they tend to be "not very good". Gritty, real life, real people, intense type films don't really interest me. However I thought I'd be open minded and supportive (based on the reviews) and give it a go. Needless to say I'm writing this review now and (hang on)... there are still over 20 minutes to go. The 73 minutes that have gone so far could have been covered in about 10. That's how slow it is. I honestly don't care what happens to any of the people in it. If they all end up dead I think that's fine. As long as something actually happens. 18 minutes left. Nothing yet...

Low Tide (2019)

Surprisingly good

[8/10 · 26 June 2023]

I don't get some of the bad reviews on here. There is so much utter dross out there I'm amazed some people can't appreciate a well done film made on a tiny percentage compared to the superhero drivel etc that seems to get churned out on a monthly basis.

The acting is fine by everyone (Shea Whigham always solid) and the story moves along at a good pace. Whilst the two main brothers are not perfect, ultimately they generate enough empathy that you do care what happens to them. Yes we have seen it all before, but you can say that with EVERY film (that's worth watching).

Writer/director Kevin McMullin does an excellent job with what he has available - keen to see what he does next...

Clubbed (2008)

Where to start

[3/10 · 28 May 2023]

I'll be honest, I only managed half an hour of this. I seriously struggled with some basic concepts. For example. Why did they cast actors who are about 9 stone soaking wet to play bouncers? Why was the main protagonist taken into the fold of the bouncers (I use the term loosely) gang based on the fact he looked in the gym window and that automatically made him "one of the lads"? Really? Was there a bouncer shortage in the 80s?

Why was the acting and script so atrocious? Even Maxine Peake and Colin Salmon couldn't save this. I'm all for low budget Brit movies where a good screenplay can override the weaker elements of a production but Christ on a bike it has to be better than this.

Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)

Why the bad reviews? Because it's codswallop!

[3/10 · 10 March 2023]

Hmmm. So the was some talk of Idris Elba being the next Bond. Was this a dry run? That would explain the over the top Bond type villain and bizarre set pieces. Luther used to deal with dodgy geezers and weirdos in deepest London - in this he's chasing millionaire nutters across Europe. Why? Why do this? The original Luther episodes were vastly superior for a tenth (?) of the cost.

Acting is fine, (although Andy Serkis is a bit over the top) but the plot makes little sense and you keep wondering why things keeps shooting off in different directions and why the characters keep doing what they do. And it's half an hour too long. Should have just rehashed an old episode of the first series. Nobody would have minded.

I Am Bolt (2016)

Could have been better

[7/10 · 1 March 2023]

I put off watching this and when I did start I thought I'd probably not watch it through to the end. However I did as I couldn't remember Bolts results at the 2016 Olympics which kept me more interested than maybe the documentary justified.

There were quite a lot of conversations between Bolt and his trainer/friends etc which I couldn't quite understand, but I don't think I missed much. Bolt seems like a nice chap but there were way too many scenes of him just chatting to his camera phone - this wasn't great.

This could have been half an hour shorter and more time spent showing races rather than the associated before/after banter. So certainly watchable, but could have been so much better.

Ian Cognito: A Life and A Death on Stage (2022)

Interesting & amusing but nothing more

[5/10 · 21 February 2023]

Ian Cognito was a comedians comedian. We know this because lots of comedians (some well known, some less so) appeared on this documentary to say how amazing Ian Cognito was. I'm not convinced. It can be difficult to laugh at/with someone you don't like and Ian Cognito was clearly not a likeable person most of the time. An aggressive alcoholic with a chip on his shoulder about not being rich and famous doesn't make for good company or great anecdotes and this documentary does nothing to dispel that.

In between comedy club snippets of Ian's largely aggressive act, we are told how amazing he was, and whilst he certainly had some funny lines in his routine, ultimately he didn't seem that great. And this is part of the problem with this documentary - you expect at some point to be bowled over by his act and be left thinking why didn't I know about this guy, but this doesn't happen.

What you are left with is a rather sad figure who became less and less appealing as he got older and probably gained most of his notoriety by dying on stage.

Full Swing (2023– )

Interesting if not quite as advertised

[7/10 · 20 February 2023]

I really enjoyed this series but I get why some people were disappointed. Whilst not loads of drama, there were some really interesting episodes on some lesser known golfers I had barely heard of and now I feel like I'm going to root for them in the majors, and I think that's nice. All the players came across as really decent guys (with maybe one or two exceptions!) and seeing the home lives of some of them was a nice touch.

I'd forgotten some of the results in '22 so replaying tournament highlights wasn't a problem and not showing any golf would have been odd.

There is a view there was an anti LIV element to the series - not sure I agree. Lots of LIV defectors gave their take on it and the non-LIV did too - it seemed fairly balanced and everyone knows LIV is purely about the $ anyway so no real surprises. Ultimately the media care more about the LIV drama than the players, and that came across in the series also.

Definitely worth a watch whether you play golf or not.

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)

Slow year at the Oscars?

[4/10 · 18 February 2023]

Struggling to see how this was Oscar nominated. Yes the acting is good (hence 4 stars) but surely you need more than that from a film to justify an Oscar? Maybe not. I wasn't sure what to expect with this film and watched it purely on the Oscar element and high* IMDB score.

Ultimately this is a slow, plodding, dull film that doesn't go anywhere and I only watched to the end as I kept expecting something really dramatic to happen - it doesn't. You are left feeling "what was that all about" and "maybe it's me". But I'm comfortable it isn't me and this is just not very good. Instantly forgettable and not a film you would ever watch again or recommend to anyone you like. Nuff said.

Bank of Dave (2023)

Nice film

[7/10 · 21 January 2023]

Bank Of Dave is a feel good film which tick lots of nice boxes as long as you don't look at it with a critical eye. Which I do. A bit. Right then. The cons first. Whilst the main actors play their parts well, some of the support acting is a bit flaky. Fair enough - this is a relatively low budget film so understandable. Secondly, the script is a bit clunky in places, which doesn't help the actors and does make the film feel somewhat contrived at times - you know exactly how this is going to play out. This is okay though - not everyone wants a challenging stressy film, or a film full of unpleasant, gritty, dark characters. I know I don't. Thirdly, Burnley is portrayed as a lovely town of working class, heart of gold, decent, fair, hard working, honest, caring, sharing, people. It isn't. Lots are. But lots are not. Fourthly, a LOT of the content isn't remotely true or accurate, but you need to make the film interesting so fair enough with the carefree approach to facts. The pros. It's a feel good film for all the family and Dave seems like a very decent chap and that's enough justification to make a nice movie. Secondly, I forgot Def Leppard actually did some really good songs! Needed to hear more of them. Er... That's it.

The Way (I) (2010)

Not much substance

[5/10 · 29 October 2022]

A watched this based on the high IMDB score and quality cast. However it never really seems to get going. The supposed dramatic scenes aren't very dramatic at all and the deep meaningful moments aren't deep or meaningful.

Martin Sheen is miserable and grumpy for about 90% of the film but despite this, his hangers on continue to follow him round and stick with him whereas the majority of people would ditch him at the first opportunity. Sheen never seems to reach a real turning point in terms of his outlook or guilt re his sons death, but seems to get marginally more chirpy at the end which I guess is his cathartic moment. Hard to tell really.

Deborah Unger still beautiful if looking a little worn out and the rest of the cast do their bit well enough with the flaccid script, but overall this was very disappointing.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Writing this before I've even finished watching the film

[4/10 · 15 October 2022]

Ok. So I'm now 42 minutes in and bored out of my gord. Clearly we are going to see lots of impressive 'real' shots of jets flying, pilots doing dramatic shouting etc. But really? The first one was cheesy crap but it was the 80s so somewhat excusable. But for 2022 this is very poor.

Tom gives it 100% in every film and I've enjoyed most of the Mission Impossible films but this is drivel. It really is. It's aimed at 12 year olds who like the idea of being a fighter pilot? Maybe. Don't know. Is Tom supposed to be in his 40s in this? Clearly lots of cosmetic work done which on a Captains salary is impressive. Drivel. I give it 4 for the amount of flying effort that clearly went into it. Edit: for the big mission, could they not have used unmanned drones? Just saying. Drivel. Chr1st on a bike. Just got to the end. Drivel.

The Collini Case (2019)

Heavy but definitely worth a watch

[9/10 · 13 September 2022]

Watched this purely based on the good IMDB rating and reviews which is always a risk. However this film was excellent. Well acted and very intense especially the latter half and the use of subtitles doesn't detract. Franco Nero has very few lines but delivers well and Elyas M'Bareck who I had never heard of is very good.

Without giving anything anyway this film reveals aspects of German law and other aspects I had no awareness of and the story is very engaging.

A grown up film and a refreshing change from the usual 'super powers' codswallop which seems to be every other movie or TV show these days. Recommended.

Pete Versus Life (2010–2011)

Refreshingly different & very funny

[9/10 · 31 August 2022]

This is 12 years old but I'd never heard of it and just stumbled across it by chance. There are generally very few comedies I get past more than a single episode but have just watched the entire first season of 'Pete vs Life' and it's hilarious. Rafe Spall is excellent and the match of the day style is very funny and provides an extra layer of comedy.

I can't believe this slipped under the radar - it's vastly superior to a lot of the other dross that masquerades as comedy and feels like it should have a stronger following.

Hopefully second season just as good but even if not would still recommend purely on the basis of being something different.