JDioon Reviews

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (2011)

Don't watch this crap, read the book.

[1/10 · 15 March 2012]

It might be a bit strange to urge people to read the book instead of watching the movie -on a movie website-, but see in it the urgency of the situation.

This movie, of which I watched only the first five minutes and realized innumerable pages and beautiful passages were skipped already, has broken my heart and made me lose faith in the general concept of Hollywood adaptations of great books. My mother and sister went to watch it as well and we compared our experiences: mine the book, theirs the movie. I was angry by the end of our talk. It's the story of The Kite Runner all over again (which I read as opposed to watched). After five minutes of Kite Runner, I barged out of the theater and demanded they give my money back (which they did, though this holds no relevance to this review).

SPOILERS BELOW -- SPOILERS BELOW -- SPOILERS BELOW -- SPOILERS BELOW

In the movie, apparently, Oskar goes on his adventurous trip with a man called The Renter. In the movie, he supposedly meets this guy soon and finds in him a companion for his questing travels. In the book, Oskar's upstairs neighbour, Mr. Black, becomes a travel companion. Oskar doesn't meet the renter until VERY late in the book.

This is just one of the many examples I could give as to WHY one should read the book. Jonathan Safran Foer never meant for his story to be diverged from so much or he would've written it that way. The source is the best and the source is the book.

Curiosity (2011–2014)

For the uninformed

[16 January 2012]

I have been an involuntary witness to the decline of Discovery Channel's level for the last five years. The network used to offer a wide range of educational programs and would often enlighten the viewer. Now, in order to attract a wider audience, they decided to cut knowledge into fine slices, get rid of half and spread the other sliced half all throughout an episode. What you get is repetitiveness and a strange effect that makes the viewer (who was around before the meltdown) feel like a total jackass for being spoonfed individual facts that -together- make up one scientific theory (merely skimmed on the surface by lack of depth). So, Curiosity is NOT what you're looking for if you know anything about any subject they were able to come up with. The drugs episode had me convinced: nothing new there. The one about the universe ... well... resort to Stephen Hawking's Into the Universe (2010) if you feel like being taught something genuine and worth knowing. Curiosity is for those who are new to Discovery Channel's new attitude towards science and television in general. If you know nothing, consider this Class 101 and the teacher knows almost as much as you do.

The only thing that is amusing, is that different celebrities host different episodes. Listening to Morgan Freeman's voice was quite soothing. So that's why I gave this 5/10 instead of 4/10.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005– )

Go seek quality.

[1/10 · 3 August 2011]

This show features three guys, a girl and DeVito trying to be funny. Their enthusiasm is over the top and quite annoying, their acting is off and overall this show is incredibly screaming. The jokes are horribly placed, non-situational and not funny. The story lines are ragged and not at all interesting.

Charlie Day: Incredibly annoying. Makes me want to punch someone. Kaitlin Olson: Misplaced. Rob McElhenney: Needs acting classes. At the very least. Danny DeVito: To my taste, this guy has never been funny or amusing. So okay, it's quite amusing to see a pocket-size person crack jokes, but come on. Comedy's supposed to be so much more than this. Glenn Howerton: This guy's actually a relief from the awkward worthlessness of this show. But still, he's no good.

After watching an episode of this, I just felt like taking a shower. But if you have low standards and are able to enjoy Danny DeVito movies, have fun...

Boogeyman 2 (2007)

Good movie if you like a hot girl with blood all over her

[4/10 · 15 January 2011]

I saw this film with a friend of mine last night. He's a fan of nighttime horrorflicks that just scare the crap out of you. Well, 20 minutes into this film we had the plot all figured out. We even made a bet: it's either the professor or the brother. Aaaand ... yeah, it sucked. If you want to be cared shitless, go rent/buy/download another movie. This movie is just a waste of time and anticipation.

UNLESS you really like a hot girl with other people's blood all over her face and clothes. If that's your kind of thing... watch this! Twice! That lead actress is really nice. I'd prefer to see her running around in a bikini or something. Just two hours of her running around in a bikini. Slow-Mo'ed. Oh yes.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Not an Indiana Jones movie at all!

[6/10 · 13 October 2008]

Although Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull wasn't that horrible to watch, I still concur with Trey Parker and Matt Stone. They believe that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg raped Indy over and over again until he bled to death. This movie is a great action movie with a nice story line, but it is far from worthy the Indiana Jones title. If you are a fan of the Indiana Jones series, please do not approach Spielberg or Lucas with a deadly weapon after the movie. You will be understood by many, but you will go to prison as well. If you're just looking for a nice time, go see it. WARNING: Indiana Jones fans will cry once they find out aliens are involved. They raped him over and over again. All we could do is watch...