alerikanderson Reviews

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

6.5 on this, now that's WAY too kind, how does Crystal Skull have a 6.2?!

[2/10 · 2 May 2024]

Why does Kathleen Kennedy hates old heros?

Why does she have a fetish for strong, British women?

Why does movies have to be long as The Last Jedi?!

2 hours and 34 minutes!!!!!

At least the Lord of the rings films were worthy. At least they didn't hate our heroes, at least they tell meaningful stories This movie out right tells a nonsensical story about nothing The films 1940's sequences were good, can't say for the rest of the film. I get it people, it had troubled production, but does a movie really need a city chase sequence that takes up the runtime?

At least the last Jedi was somewhat sort of paced This is bad film making.

I've seen the first star wars film and that was great, even if it was having trouble.

Oh, we need nostalgia to help the audiences stay attached to the screen. Now, Ghostbusters afterlife and frozen empire are sort of nostalgia baiting, but at least they didn't actively hate our hero.

🖕 this movie Helena Shaw is a complete and utter💩 head for most of the runtime. She's constantly telling Indy how awesome she is. Rip off of teddy is completely stripped from charming and seems sort of awkward. Why is Voller still alive from the beginning with metal pipe hit at him 60 mph?!

Indy could've gotten back with Marion because they've broken up and got back together for the 4th time. Mutt, well...... At least he's better than Helena, but they just kill him in the Vietnam War so Helena is the replacement. Thank you 🙏 SO much movie. Lets all kneel down to how great Helena Shaw and the Dookie of Disaster is. John Williams is great, but I feel that his scores are great in general, so yeah. I didn't think John Williams made it. He's literally 93! Hello peple, stop watching the Oscars for god sake. Anyways, watch every Indy movie, even Crystal Skull over this garbage.

Bye, Bye, Dialysis of Distantly bad movies.

Kung Fu Panda 4 (2024)

A biblical lie

[3/10 · 20 April 2024]

What I learned from Kung Fu Panda 4 -CGI still is great -Po is still charming.

-Action is sort of good -Voice acting is good -Coyote is annoying -Awkwafina is in EVERY SINGLE MOVIE

-Villian is pathetic with he backstory along with that -Gay Dads go chasing po and coincidentally saved his life -The suck out power thingy is SO stupid -If you had to suck the power out of them then, why did you not have to do it to PO?!

-Story is SO bland -Writing is not the same as the other films and sounds terrible -Why is the chameleon the cruel villian in this one? She can't be a kung fu student because she is little -What about some of the furious five members?

-OH, I'm sorry, what furious FIVE MEMBERS?!

-What a poor sequel -Kung Fu Panda is an awesome movie -Kung Fu Panda 2 was a worthy sequel -Kung Fu Panda 3 was good, even as the weakest link -Kung Fu Panda offers little entertainment and should wait until stream release.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Paul Feig dislikes me

[3/10 · 17 April 2024]

Mother of mercy did I HATE the 2016 version of Ghostbusters. I could not stand this disgusting piece of the corporatized slop and flop of a movie. Sitting through 1 hour and 56 minutes was an embarrassment to the cast and me. The actors themselves are the worthy thing of this empty void of "entertainment". Despite the CGI being better than the first two ghostbusters' films, it looks SO ugly. Like the slimer(s) look completely sickening. The whole plot feels irritating in its own special way. THE VILLIAN, feels SO cartoon-ish and misunderstood. His horrible childhood of bullies turned him into a monster, OH NO. So, he is helping spirits break out and take over the world. What is the flip? The actors are SO loud, and it is SO infuriating. Melissa McCarthy and Leslie Jones, nobody finds you satisfying actors nor SCREAMING in our ears is goanna help. The dialogue is SO long, boring, bloated, and sounds horrible to see actors tell unfunny jokes. O yes, THE JOKES. The original ghostbusters movies relied more on sarcasm to make it funny, rather than spatting out the stupidest things ever. Paranormal, blah blah blah, etc., they just keep saying stuff too complex so they can seem intelligent. Like with the proton pack scene and all of the STUPID gadgets they made. The relationships just don't work well. Erin and Abby's subplot of their friendship just sounds SO dumb. Patty-Wattie is the most annoying of the bunch. I will discuss it in a later time. Jillian is the one that is the best of the bunch. She seems to actually do humor to her goods. She actually gave me a smile. The ending is a TOTAL lie and they're capping. The whole of New York is saying, We LOVE the Ghostbusters? Bro, they saw the 1984 movie, not this. OR, if that isn't the case, Paul Feig is insulting the fans with this sloppy movie. It's just girls with bad relationships and conversations that get a chance to bust the paranormal souls and manage to save the world from domination of ghosts. THAT'S IT! It's not enticing, it's not interesting, and it isn't funny. Oh yes, they ruin the ghostbusters' theme song. OK, that's it, it's over. This really is an absolute biblical mess up.

Overall: D+ Entertainment: 3/10 Don't watch this.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

Underrated

[7/10 · 17 April 2024]

SPOILERS Overall, I does a lot of things right with this series, and it does things wrong. To make it simple, the movie takes place after Ghostbusters Afterlife (2021). The ghostbusters are back in town. They go through town and find a sewer dragon thing that is a ghost, so Phoebe uses her proton back and blasts at it. But then they get in trouble with the mayor, Walter Peck, the villian from the original 1984 ghostbusters. The movie is treating him as the villian but come on, he's basically the only responsible character of the movie. Anyways, Phoebe is out at night because her parents are just SO great. So, she meets a ghost lady and the scenes that they are together in starts getting love vibes. It does get slightly creepy when you realize that the actor playing Phoebe is 15 and the ghost lady actor is in her 20s and looks like she is in her mid-30s. Meanwhile, Dan Akroyd's character finds an ancient sphere that contains an ice demon that could freeze the world. I really hope no one releases it. The plot talks about and explores the McGuffin Ball's origin by visiting the guy who gave it to him, and he has a golden suit of armor from his grandmother. Now this is where the plot gets interesting, so Phoebe turns herself into a spirit for a certain amount of time so she can play with Melody. But Garaka, an ice demon, uses this as an advantage to take over her body and release ice on the world. Soon when Phoebe gets back into her body, the old and new ghostbusters have to save the world from being in the beginning of a new ice age. The proton packs get frozen with the breath of the demon, but Phoebe heats her proton pack up and with the help of the armor guy and everyone else, they defeat the creature. Melody thanks them because she is free. In conclusion, the mayor, Walter Peck, says they are finished, but is stopped and forgets that idea and lets the Ghostbusters exist. It ends with them driving away on the street to get a slimer and sewer dragon and says on the screen, "For Ivan." Ivan Reitman was the original ghostbusters director had died before the Frozen Empire came out. That's the plot for Frozen Empire. If I had to name my biggest issue, it has to be that it has WAY too many characters. The movie does seem to go TERRIBLY slow and stuff in the trailer that is supposed to happen happens at the end. But I genuinely thought Paul Rudd and the other actors did a surprisingly good job. Finn Wolfhard's character gets to have a subplot to catch slimers. A nice way to bring the eating monster back. The thing that it has against modern ghostbusters films are these. What it has against Afterlife is that it's at least set in New York instead of a cornfield/farm in the middle of nowhere. The old cast appears more in the climax instead of appearing at the end randomly with no explanation whatsoever. The thing it has against Ghostbusters 2016 is that not every line has a stupid ongoing joke and villian is WAY more fascinating than 2016's'. The dialogue isn't always trash compared to the 2016's version and cameos aren't cheesy and lame. I really love the tribute to Ivan Reitman; it really had the spirit of him having fun with making the film. I also do like the horror elements welcomed here. It really matches the lore and story ideas. Overall, I froze with the fun with this movie.

Overall: B+ Entertainment Scale: 8.5/10 Worth the watch and pay for the ticket.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

Yeah, the story is bad, but that doesn't mean it is bad

[5/10 · 20 February 2024]

Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom does somethings to actually respect Jurassic Park. The horror themes, the cinematography, the cgi, Claire and Owen's relationship is better, and the brutal deaths in this film are epic. The story is a controversially weird and dumb direction. Jurassic Park is about dinosaurs being brought back to life, the plot for this film, is to watch them fall off cliffs, burn in lava, and drown. I know they save some of them, but they are sold on a black market for terrorists. WHAT!?!? The it gets stupid with the worst ending in cinematic history, having dinosaurs released on humanity by the stupid clone girl. For me, it's slightly better than the first Jurassic World, but isn't saying much, huh?

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

We still can't capture the magic from the original. Love the action and cast, but not the story.

[6/10 · 19 February 2024]

Jurassic World Dominion is a different film, to say the least.

I was so excited for this movie and the hype was so big. The trailers showed dinosaurs around the world and a rescue mission, again. But I was so delusional and thought it was gonna be pretty good. And I walk into the theater, on my birthday, and I'm still sort of shocked. We got a film about genetically modified locusts, cooperate espionage, CIA missions to save a annoying girl and a raptor apparently? You made a promise to a dinosaur? Oh yeah, and there's the hamd. Wanna see a 7 inch hand to calm every dinosaur in this entire FILM?! Well, here you go, it works on wild parasaurs, 20 feet tall carnivore dinosaurs, laser guided raptors, and on a mindless baby raptor and blue. The pacing is dogwater, screenplay/ dialogue is absolutely awful, and there is too many locusts to fill up the conspiracy theories. But I did like the Freddy Krueger dinosaur scene with Claire, best scene in the movie. Like the cowboy dinosaur scene, just ignore the stupid hand, it adds emotion. I love the old cast returning. Jeff Goldblum steals the show. Ramsay Cole is a ok Jeff Goldblum, Kayla Watts is a decent character, apart from being a LGBTQ. The swimming dinosaur in the frozen lake scene is good, just isn't Owen gonna freeze from it. I love Biosyn valley, I just hate the Biosyn building. I love the CGI in this film and the cinematography is good and real enough. The extended cut is a slightly better than the film, but still a bit disappointed by this Jurassic film. But as a fun movie to turn your brain off, it's perfect to get the nonsense away from you.

Blacklight (2022)

Just Bad

[1/10 · 11 May 2023]

Not even Liam Neeson can't save this sad pathetic story and the blacklight, Turn it OFF NNNOW!!!!!!

First 20 minutes: This is literal abuse watching this, why does the director hate us.

Next 12 minutes: Most boring scenes ever made.

Next 30 minutes: Maybe if there were GOOD conspiracies, I would like it more

The ending: Wow, everyone watching with me is eating in the kitchen instead of the living room

Also, I like the fact that Liam Neeson is the ONLY good actor in this film and everyone else is kind of a nobody

I just Hope Neeson just jumps right in time and stops this movie from ever happening

DA End.

Jurassic Park (1993)

Not a coincidence why it's SO amzing

[10/10 · 11 May 2023]

Jurassic Park was a start of how movies in the 90's where movies were epic. Jurassic Park is a casual popcorn movie to watch. It starts off with a first act that brings likable characters, including the famous Jeff Goldblum playing Ian Malcolm and takes a simple idea and take a tour around the island. To see dinosaurs, but someone shuts down the power and dinosaurs start eating people and the kids and surviving adults have to evacuate the island But, then others try to rescue them. And then Raptors try to eat people and the good guys, but the T rex saves them, and they leave the island. When the car is going off the cliff, that is the only issue because it makes it look like the T. Rex climbed up. Other than that, Jurassic Park is a cinematic Masterpiece.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

The Best Prequel Ever made

[9/10 · 10 May 2023]

Sure, it's far from bing better than raider and crusade, BUT, is DEFINITELY way better than crystal skull. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is by far the DARKEST entry of this franchise. And I'll tell u the positives 1-The Dark tone I like

2-Indy is in the film

3-Shorty was fun

4- The bridge fight when it falls down is great

5-I also like the cart chase scene

6-Plane jump down with a air filled boat was out of physics, BUT, was still petty interesting to see

7-Still has charming jokes

8-Like the Indian culture

& 9- Like the ritual in the Temple of Doom

What was bad- Willie Scott was the most annoying character Go watch it, I recommend.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

Garbage and doesn't deserve positive reviews

[2/10 · 22 April 2023]

: Oh, do I really hate this movie. The Rise of Skywalkers is a complete Trump-ster fire and an unmitigated Trainwreck of a disaster. A tale told by an idiot, filled with flashing lights, and filled with sound and fury. Episode nine is part of the completely bankrupt culture and only exists to pop out in theaters and earn a bazillion dollars. And darn it, it DID make one billion dollars at the box office. And by the sounds of this review, Rise of Skywalker is the absolute worst thing to happen to Star Wars since the holiday special in 1978. I will shorten the plot analysis because I do not want to drive anyone, especially me, insane. So, the movie takes place a year after the last Jedi, Palpatine somehow survives. Wait WHAT?! But Palpatine died by the hand of Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi. So, that means Darth Vader's sacrifice was invalid. And everything that happened in Return of the Jedi was all just a good joke, right? Isn't that great? Anyways, Rey is trained by Leia and Rey leaves with Poe and Finn and later get in a silly chase scene by the Stormtroopers because since Kylo Ren is the Supreme Leader now and listened to Palpatine's command and kill Rey. So, they blow up the troopers, but the get in the patch of quicksand and get sucked to their death. In the end, the Sith conquer the entire galaxy.

Overall: D Entertainment scale: 5/10 No just kidding, instead they get sunk down into an underground tunnel, wait what? Wouldn't the tunnel collapse on it and if there is something holding it up, they would not fall through? So, they go through other stupid stuff and get to meet a strong girl who tries to get them caught, but Rey is obviously, she is the best Jedi to EVER exist and is better than everyone else and kicks her butt. And she helps them and get the exegol and find the second death star. Wait, what? It was blown up in Return of the Jedi, How, it is impossible. So, Kylo and Rey fight, and Kylo almost wins, but they ran out of Leia CGI, so she dies, And Kylo drops his weapon, and that means to stop fighting , but Rey stabbed a lightsaber down his chest. Rey is a @$$#*!^, that man had dropped his weapon, talk about being a sore, sore loser. So, any ways, she uses the force to heal Kylo and she goes to Kracke island and Ghost Luke Skywalker helps Rey FINALLY have a character arch. So, she goes to exegol and faces Palpatine and Kylo is no longer on the dark side and helps Rey, but then their souls are mostly sucked out of them. Then Kylo is thrown in a pit and Rey is all the jedi and kills Palpatine. Rey dies then. Then Kylo heals her and they both kiss, NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!! But Kylo Ren dies of embarrassment, I am not giving a joke, that is what happens. And Rey says she is Rey Skywalker, and she is not, you cannot call you something and just be it, that can lead you to a big controversy. So anyways, Rey goes to Luke's use to be home in A New Hope with BB-8 and they stare at the two suns. And that is it, that is the plot for the "Rise" of Skywalker. Kylo Ren, Better characters, and getting rid of Rose Tico are the positives of this film. Everything else feels rushed and tiring. Overall: D Entertainment Scale: 5.5/10.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Despite being the weakest Indy movie, it's still good enough

[7/10 · 20 April 2023]

To be honest, I kind of expected this to happen. People are going nuts about aliens and area 51 stuff. Like Jurassic World Dominion, it's about locusts and a dinosaur sanctuary in Europe, but they gave more 10 star ratings than the other sequels. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is better than what everyone is saying. It gives you good visuals and action to love and decent characters to have a rollercoaster ride to this movie. The only Issues I have with it is some of the alien stuff, Mac the traitor, and the storylines can't bring down the movie that much. Also, I like the beginning where it plays the song Hound Dog.

101 Dalmatians (1996)

I can rewatch this movie again

[7/10 · 17 April 2023]

This is kind of like Jurassic World Dominion, more mistreated than it should be.

I think it is the exact same film as the original, but it still keeps the nostalgia for me when I was younger.

And compared to the other live action remakes made by the creative geniuses, DISNEY, this one works more than like 2022's Disney's Pinocchio.

I thought the actors did a pretty good job and along with the dogs and animals. And the score, OH, the score is amazing.

I don't know, maybe it's because I've respected this movie when I was a kid and my mom put it on all the the time, because my brother is autistic and can't speak or function well and enjoyed watching it. And For Me, I did too.

Jurassic World (2015)

Overstuffed but entertaining Blockbuster

[5/10 · 23 February 2023]

It's fine, it has the fun Chris Pratt, but other characters are underwhelming. The script is fine, the dialogue was cheesy, I think people just want to see dinosaurs, which is fair, but overall, it was ok. I don't hate these kinds of movies, in fact, I think there was plenty of action sequences and the visuals was good at it's time. And in my opinion, it deserves a lot less hate that it's getting right now, to really be honest, the big positives in this film are the cool dinosaur action sequences and the visuals, the villainy was lame, and that led to the travesty that is called Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom. Anyways, if you like monster movies like Godzilla, this is your film, but if you want a movie that is smart and intelligent, This ain't your film 6/10.

Hop (2011)

UUUGGGHHH!!!

[1/10 · 2 November 2022]

This has to be one off the worst animated movies ever! The movie has the most dislikable character of all time, and the Hispanic chick is the only good thing about this film. He has to be the most sympathetic character of all time and doesn't do anything wrong until the last 21 minutes. Thee chick has been the second in command of the bunny and he wants to take over. But the daddy bunny wants to have his son to take over. But his son doesn't want to take over because he wants to be a drummer. And later on in the film he meets James Marsden's character and all that crap. The daddy's son bunny only acts like a stuffed animal to sniff the girls hair. Isn't he a likable character? He doesn't even care when James Marsden's character is kidnapped. Like I said, isn't he a character you'll like? Back to the Hispanic chick, he tries to make it clear to the daddy bunny that he is the only one that wants the job. And when it doesn't work, he takes over by force and feels deserved, because he deserves it more than the stubborn daddy bunny and his S#!% head son. I was cheering when EB was being beaten up by the Hispanic chick, because who wouldn't want him to have a bad death? And even when the daddy bunny says only bunnies can take over, but the mediocre James Marsden character is the Co-Easter bunny. The Hispanic Chick and Marsden character both did training for the job. They both wanted it equally, but only one was best QUALIFIED.