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rockdude
Reviews
Sex Lives of the Potato Men (2004)
Loved it
OK, in case you hadn't guessed, this is not a film for kids or watching with your parents. However, getting a group of mates down the cinema to watch this is definitely recommended.
A mate of mine came up to see me last week and suggested we go and see a film. This was the only thing on by the time we got out the door and so there was little choice in the matter. I was curious to see what Johnny Vegas would be like after 'Blackball' which I was a tad disappointed by (but that's another review for another time, folks!) and Mackenzie Crook after being Gareth (in The Office for any Yanks). I absolutely loved it. The plot was consistent and believable enough (for a sex comedy) to make the scenarios that little more amusing. The characters, although necessarily exaggerated, were spot-on and the running gags had me in stitches. I will never be able to look at strawberry jam in the same way again...
Johnny Vegas was his usual slightly bemused working class hero and Mackenzie Crook made a very good sidekick, showing that he really is a good comic actor without the pudding-bowl haircut.
I give this **** out of *****. A thoroughly good film which will have you grimacing and guffawing in turns.
P.S. On of the guys I went with thought it was the best comedy he'd seen this century. Take from that what you will...
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
overblown
I went into this as a fan of Alan Moore and came out very disappointed. It started well as it brought the characters together and quite cleverly left some background only hinted at. However, once the characters had been assembled and sent out into the world, the pace became far too fast for the plot. The characters bounce from one place to the next with very little explanation and developments are clumsily and obviously introduced. From very early on it is obvious how the film will end (or at least which characters are bad, which ones bond,etc.) and the viewer is left wondering at the end of the film what exactly happened. After I saw this film, I went down the pub with the friends I'd seen the film with and we discussed the film. One guy seemed to understand it much better than us and explained it to us; it later turned out that he'd slept through most of the film, missing most of the action and only just catching the end.
The action is certainly watchable and the characters are interesting with some good performances which are massively let down by the speed of the plot and the unworthy script. One can't help but feel that this is another good idea for a film ruined by the Hollywood technique of sacrificing script for action - with more time and some care, the film could have been excellent. I give it ** out of *****; watchable if you leave any brain cells at the door.
Big Bully (1996)
Watchable... just
I like this film. Not that the plot, acting, script, etc. would worry any kind of awards ceremony on a bad year because they are pretty awful. It's just that the film is watchable at 2am when you need to be bored to sleep by a sappy American movie. That's all I can say about it.
The plot is so transparent and formulaic that a five-year-old could have told you the ending, and has more holes than fine lace. The acting is notably bad on all counts. When the established leads get upstaged by an unknown 10 year-old you have to worry. Rick Moranis plays his usual weedy character and Tom Arnold plays his childhood bully. Not challenging parts and this shows; they aren't even trying.
I, like many others, was bullied at school and found the story interesting in that it showed both sides but the cheezy(TM) subplot involving their children was forced and let down the one saving grace.
All in all, I give this film 2/5. Watchable but certainly not worth missing anything else for.
Inseminoid (1981)
It really is that bad
Imagine a bad sci-fi horror film. I reckon you're thinking something like 'Screamers' (which had a decent plotline btw). Now think worse. OK, you're at 'Re-Animator 2'. Now think even worse and you're at 'Inseminoid'. I watched this with my brothers, who hate cheese. I love it and like nothing better than to sit and watch a late-night Cheezy(TM) movie. They poked fun at the start for cheap sets, unknown actors and terrible dialogue. I defended(!?) this film (or at least the genre) by explaining that these factors are essential to any properly bad horror film. I was eating my words very soon.
*** SPOILERS AHEAD ***
This blatant rip-off of the immortal 'Alien' is too bad for words. I watched it in a daze towards the end, hoping against all evidence that there would be a twist at the end and the film would save itself. I could have saved myself the torture. There wasn't and it didn't.
The "Big Bad" is a rather weak-looking blonde woman who nevertheless manages to kill every other crewmember after being impregnated by an alien. Never mind the biological improbability of such a union and the fact that her DNA was completely rewritten in a matter of hours - allowing her superhuman strength and the ability to survive both intense cold and poisonous atmospheres - SHE DOESN'T LOOK IN THE LEAST BIT SCARY! The only monster is seen briefly while raping the woman (in a ludicrously overlong and hammed-up sequence) while the offspring (can they be called children if not human?) are ridiculous. How on earth (or any other planet) can you bite someone's neck if you have no teeth? Is it possible to gum a person to death?
All in all, a very bad film which is just not worth watching for any reason except absolute boredom. I would rate it as the worst film I've ever seen.
Now and Again (1999)
I love this show
I found this show by accident while watching late night ITV. Always managed to catch the last 5 minutes so never knew what it was or what it was even about. Eventually I found out and now every Thursday evening has the far-too-long gap from the end of decent telly to the beginning of 'Now and Again'. I think it a real shame that the show is not more widely known as it is humorous, thought-provoking and, more importantly, highly entertaining.
I'm not going to say the plot would stand up to any scientific or military intelligence standards. I mean, even if you could transplant a brain into an engineered body, would you really use the brain of some joe insurance salesman who happened to 'die' at the right time? I will say that the stories are enjoyable. I particularly loved the 'superhero' episode because of the way that the life of a superhero was deconstructed. Maurice Dwyer, I salute you!
Not the cleverest or most plausible of shows but great fun to watch and addictive. Why the show was cancelled after one series leaving the show on a real cliffhanger (albeit one which was painfully obvious from the first episode) is beyond me. Syndicated broadcasting, eh?
Secretary (2002)
The best romantic movie I've ever seen
I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I mean if I'm going to reveal something, I might as well tell the entire English-speaking world. I think Maggie Gyllenhaal is gorgeous and a fantastic actress to boot. Put it this way, she can get my typing wrong any time. From the moment I came out of 'Donnie Darko', I have been in love with both Maggie and little brother Jake. Therefore, if I tend to be a little biased, you'll understand.
I've seen comments on here and had conversations with people who have found the S&M quite disturbing. Tough cheese. If you have a problem watching a film containing fetishes then what are you doing watching a film you know will contain S&M? (Methinks someone protesteth too much...) Lee Holloway is not portrayed as a subservient woman who must do what her man says, far from it. She is an independent, if shy, woman who finds that she derives satisfaction from being punished, something her boss seems happy to do. When she feels that she is not being treated right, she lets people know.
I loved this film absolutely and have been waiting almost six months for it to reach cinemas. My main reason was Maggie Gyllenhaal I'm ashamed to admit but having seen it at last, I feel that the Special Jury Prize at Sundance was not undeserved. Maggie Gyllenhaal is outstanding. Every expression and nuance of body posture is spot-on, from the frightened, timid ex-mental patient to the confident, sultry provocateur. James Spader is also excellent in his role as the repressed boss who satisfies his S&M leanings guiltily with his secretaries. The interplay between the two main characters is enticingly tense, leading to some memorable scenes.
Up until perhaps 30 minutes form the end, I thought this film was one of the best films I had ever had the privilege to watch. Then something happened. The plot went from interesting and off-beat to somewhat predictable as the characters struggle to come to terms with their emotions. In essence, the same kind of thing you see in any Meg Ryan romantic comedy (no offence, ma'am). Boy and girl get on fine then something happens. Boy has trouble expressing his love while girl goes out with someone else, all the while still in love with boy. Yawn. This part did somewhat ruin my appreciation but on reflection, I should have expected some cliche somewhere. The ending is back to the previous form however and if somewhat bodged together for a happily-ever-after feel, the emotion and intelligence are back just in time to save the movie.
The comedy is extremely black at times and maybe wouldn't suit someone who is easily offended (but then again, the S&M theme might just have put such people off already) but the rest of the cinema and I found it somewhat amusing and raised a few wry eyebrows. I would give it 8.5/10 or 9/10 to be generous. I reckon anyone who finds the usual romantic film somewhat cheesy should see this for a breath of fresh air. Don't see this film expecting sexual gratification (unless you are an S&M fetishist in which case please don't see it. Nothing personal but groans of ecstasy from the row behind are a tad off-putting.) but be warned that there are a couple of sexy scenes and things you wouldn't want Grandma to see.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
See this film but don't ruin it for other viewers.
A lot of people will have written blazing reviews for this film full of words like "amazing", "kick-@$$" and "outstanding", and with exclamation marks thrown in like confetti. If they haven't then they are fools, quite honestly but I won't write such a comment. Having seen the film as soon as I possibly could, I am quite happy to let others watch it without having anything lost from the intrinsic mystery.
The mark of a good film is that you don't know what's coming and the beauty of both 'The Matrix' and this sequel is that if you really have no idea what's coming you can immerse yourself completely in the fantasy and the atmosphere built up by the enigmatic nature of the content. Therefore I will not reveal a thing about this film; all I will say is that I have given it a rating of 10/10 only because that's as high as I'm allowed to. I went into the film expecting to be disappointed because of the hype and the high standard set by 'The Matrix' and was not only pleasantly surprised, I felt that this film rocked. Damn, I said I wouldn't do that, didn't I.
Go and see this film. That's not a suggestion, it's an order. Once you have, tell no-one; let them find out what happens for themselves.
Batman Forever (1995)
Why oh why did they let Schumacher at Batman?
This film has singlehandedly destroyed the Batman movie franchise for any serious fan. Tim Burton's films retained the intrinsic darkness and Gothic setting that Batman needs to make any sense. The film is cartoony; perhaps suitable for a lighter movie on a character such as Superman or Wonder Woman but completely wrong for Batman.
Deconstructing Batman/Bruce Wayne psychologically makes no sense when all that epitomised Batman has been removed. The villains are ridiculously overplayed as the kind of dancing villain you might see in a kiddie's TV show. Two-Face (played by a woefully miscast Tommy Lee Jones) is so departed from his comic-book character as to be unrecognisable. He flips the coin until he gets the result he wants instead of following blindly the coin's "decision". Batman is now Val Kilmer, who doesn't nearly fill Michael Keaton's armoured boots. The plot is so contrived as to be ridiculous.
The Riddler (played wonderfully by Jim Carrey) is perhaps the only good thing about this film but that's not saying much. When you consider that we have seen Jack Nicholson's maniacal Joker, Danny DeVito's calculating Penguin and Michelle Pfeiffer's sultry Catwoman, you see that the calibre of villains has taken as much of a nosedive as the setting and the scripts.
Overall, I did enjoy this film as light entertainment not intended to provoke any kind of thought in the viewer (what can I say, I'm easily pleased) but cannot bring myself to call it a good film. As a fan of the comic-book Batman I simply can't imagine how Schumacher managed to get away with this travesty.
For someone who knows nothing of Batman and enjoys a film with action, bright costumes and hammed-up villains, this film is perfect. To anyone else, especially anyone who knows anything of Batman or enjoyed the first two films, STAY AWAY.
Equilibrium (2002)
Excellent but...
I thought this was an excellent idea when I heard it and having fallen madly in love with Christian Bale's portrayal of a psychopath in 'American Psycho', I had to see this film. I wasn't disappointed.
The acting is good, especially when one considers that Bale portrays a character feeling emotion for the first time yet suppressing these strong feelings to avoid execution as a 'sense offender'. Just how you manage to play an 'emotionless' man with emotions is beyond me and Bale pulls it off brilliantly. The supporting cast is equally good and Sean Pertwee's character, while fairly two-dimensional(!) [see the film], is well-played. I'm impressed with the Sean Bean appearance; as usual, the man does not disappoint.
No-one who has ever read '1984' could possibly miss the references here (Father=Big Brother, Preston=Winston, Mary=Julia, DuPont=O'Brien, etc.) but there is enough originality to make it seem sufficiently different enough to enjoy. 'Fahrenheit 451', 'Total Recall' and 'The Matrix' (among others) are also heavily referenced but do not believe that this film is just '1984 meets The Matrix'...oh no! The plot is of a good standard, if patchy and containing a few obvious holes such as smiling Clerics. I found certain parts slow and some scenes contained images contrary to the mood of the rest of the film but the good parts more than make up for the bad. Just the action scenes alone are worth going to see the film but PLEASE DON'T for this reason as the film is more than just an action film.
As for the ending, it is a tad obvious but nevertheless the final scenes are amazing with the most original and well-choreographed gunfight I have EVER seen in a film. Gun Kata rules!
Overall, I give this film 8/10. With a little more effort on the script and some covering of plot holes, it could easily be 10/10. However, I found the worse points of the film distracted me somewhat and reduced my enjoyment.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
I Still Don't Know Where The Plot Went
This film is a sequel to a fairly naff, yet watchable, teen slasher movie. This alone should be enough to warn away anyone who thinks there might be something good about the film. Unfortunately, knowing the capital of Brazil meant that I knew from very near the start what was going to happen. If you're going to lure someone somewhere with a question, at least make it something that your normal joe/jo isn't going to get wrong. Like what is the capital of France or Japan.
The killer is amazingly unrealistic and the film breaks the rule of the first film by killing absolutely everyone he meets instead of just those who had done something wrong. Making a sequel to a moralistic horror that is blatantly non-moralistic (if that's a word) is plain stoopid.
If you're going to kill someone, why not just kill them in their sleep if you know their address and phone number. It makes no sense to ship them all the way to the Bahamas just to bump them off. Just the work involved in setting up a fake competition and buying four tickets to the Bahamas must be too much to make it worthwhile.
However, there were saving graces (if not quite enough to make the film watchable) in the resident weed fiend and tight tops. Not that the character of this druggie was anything special, he just provided meagre comic relief - enough to take your mind off the awfulness of the rest of the film.
Overall, if you're not interested in plot or good acting but enjoy a cheeeesy slasher pic then you might enjoy this. Otherwise, don't bother unless you fancy seeing what a mockery of the original they made.
American Beauty (1999)
Fantastic film
As I write this, I realise that I'm ruining the symmetry...1999 comments on a film made in 1999!
Anyway, this film quite rightly hails as one of the best films ever made. Sam Mendes deserved that Oscar so badly for Best Director - not bad considering that this was his debut - but was denied for some reason (could it be because he aint American... sorry to my fellow wonderful Americans, but I'm pretty cynical when it comes to things like this...). Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening definitely deserved Best Actor/Actress and the overall film, surprise surprise, was Best Film.
Having said that, I saw this film on a recommendation from a friend (she thought it was awful!) and loved it immediately. I bought the video and watched it three times back-to-back, each time it was different. How many films can say that?
I'm biased in a way because I count Kevin Spacey in my all-time top 5 actors (currently he's #1), having seen him in The Usual Suspects and LA Confidential, but this film was different. At least as clever as the others but more thought-provoking. It made you look deeper at what these normal people were like on the inside. Lester Burnham's regression to an almost adolescent indifference to the rules of life is amazing. I'm not afraid to say that the ending has made me cry on more than one occasion.
All in all, I'd give the film 10/10 without hesitation or reservation. See this film at least once. I thought it was excellent, so hopefully you'll get some satisfaction from it (Mena Suvari, gentlemen?!)
American Psycho (2000)
Excellent transition to screen
I found American Psycho almost by mistake. I'd seen posters for it at the cinema but thinking it was yet another slasher pic, I ignored it. A friend of mine then told me he was reading the book, mentioning that he had bookmarked the hamster scene. My imagination ran wild and I thought that maybe there was more to the book. So I bought it at a car-boot sale and read it. Fantastic. It was this made me want to see the film and I loved it.
The movie does the book credit. Details that might have been omitted (in a typical Hollywood adaptation...) weren't and kept the story flowing. Patrick Bateman, played to perfection by Christian Bale, is the epitome of corporate America in the 80's... he just happens to be a psychopath. The recurring theme of mistaken identity is well used and the satire on the Wall Street businesses is excellent.
*** SPOILERS ***
I think the ending is not saying that he has imagined these killings. My view is that it is the film going full circle; all the way through, people are referred to by other names and in the end, it is this same phenomenon that allows Bateman to literally get away with murder. Whether he killed the wrong guy (he prides himself on knowing everyone but it would fit in with the theme if he is mistaken) or the lawyer has had lunch with another guy he mistook for Paul Allen, Bateman is off the hook and free to continue his double life. The end scene is an acknowledgement of the fact. If no-one knows or believes that a murder has been committed, has one really occurred...
*** END OF SPOILERS ***
Unfortunately, as a fan of the book, I must say that certain issues were skirted; I was particularly disappointed with the way the chainsaw was worked into the film but can see the logic behind it. On the whole, however, this is one of the best adaptations I have seen. A cult book has become destined to become a cult movie, I feel.
8/10 as I feel that given a longer playtime, the plot could have been more flowing.
Crocodile (2000)
Not the best film I've seen...
...in fact, possibly one of the worst. The cast are wooden, the effects are not of the highest quality and the plot is laughable. The death scenes are often excessively sadistic, I feel, and the characters are far too cliched for my taste.
I love film, as I'm sure most of the people on this site do. I tend to rate films quite high but on this occasion, I feel inclined to slate. This film has knocked my faith in the man who brought us `The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' - yes, it really is him.
For any British readers, I feel I should have known better than to watch a late-night film on Channel 5, but I thought it looked mildly entertaining as a cheesy horror film. This film is cheesy, but the cheese is mouldy. (Sorry, maybe took the metaphor too far...)
*** SPOILERS ***
The crocodile itself is laughably fake. The animatronic model LOOKS like a model and the CGI croc is a long way from realism. And just when did crocodiles become able to jump 30 foot in the air and somersault over a boat? Since when did crocodiles possess the ability to track an egg hidden in a backpack full of toiletries from halfway down a river? The bug spray? To coin an Americanism, Puh-lease!!
These complaints may seem slightly banal when applied to a monster horror film - the film would be rather short-lived if it was completely true to life. But is it too much to ask for a little realism in a film - just enough to make it watchable.
I give this film 1/10 only because I can't go lower.
Ringu (1998)
Scared the pants off me!
I'd seen this film in the 'World Cinema' in the shop and looked at the precis on the back. It looked good (for a dubbed film) but not good enough to buy. Then a couple of years later it came on TV so I thought I'd have a look. I LOVED IT! I admit that I was slightly prejudiced against Japanese film after the Godzilla movies and various bad martial arts films that friends forced me to watch. I take it back.
This film is by far the best psychological horror that I have ever seen. The premise is just that little bit too believable that you end up having that rush of paranoia whenever the phone rings or someone says "I've got this new video that I think you should see"...
Watch this film if you dare. The mood is very claustrophobic and despite the low 'ick' factor, there are many chilling images and scenarios.
I give it ***** (out of 5)
Donnie Darko (2001)
DAMN good!
I've read through the comments for this film and feel that a lot of people don't understand that perhaps not every (supposedly) good, thought-provoking, intelligent film is going to appeal to them. I myself felt cheated slightly (and confused greatly) by the ending the first time I saw this film but on a second viewing I believe that I, like others, had missed the point. The ending is deliberately ambiguous and confusing because the director wants you to think about the film as a whole and ponder on what might have happened.
Anyway, enough mock-intelligent waffle. I loved this film and thought Jake Gyllenhaal's performance was fantastic. Despite being moderately sane, I was able to relate to a Donnie portrayed as a misunderstood, depressed teenager (can't we all!) and thought the family interplay was excellent. The arguments with his sister (interestingly enough played by his real-life big sis in case you hadn't already noticed) were believable but in other scenes it is clear that they really do care and are perhaps quite close. Donnie's mother is an amusing character, especially when paired with the stereotypically repressed Christian, Kitty Farmer, whose intensely conservative (and often incredibly naive) views lead to some hilarious play between her and the other adults.
Drew Barrymore and Noah Wyle also give good performances in surprisingly small roles as two teachers who try to give a little more to their pupils than the designated curriculum. Barrymore's character has an interesting way of finding the new girl a seat...
I would give this movie ***** but can see how many people would be put off. I would recommend to anyone who enjoys a film which requires your full attention throughout, e.g. Memento, Twelve Monkeys, Apocalypse Now [Please note, I make no comparisons between Donnie Darko and any of these films]. However, those who prefer less complicated and psychological films probably wouldn't enjoy this. "C'est la vie", as the Germans say...
The Meaning of Life (1983)
Film classic but definitely not to all tastes.
This film is typically Python. It ranges from from the extremely surreal, (Find the Fish), to the sickeningly vulgar, (the liver donation scene), to the downright hilarious, (the obstetricians), constantly.
Of particular interest are the 'Every Sperm is Sacred' scene, which every Catholic in the world will understand (but the principle is upheld by the mickey-take on the upright Protestant), and the Mr. Creosote restaurant scene (Wafer thin mint, anyone?) which has become infamous in its own right.
The humour is often very, well, let's face it, incomprehensible but there is plenty there to satisfy any Python fan. Having said that, if you are a fan of "The Life of Brian", then think twice before seeing this. The humour is a lot darker and more complicated than in TLOB. Don't expect laughs a minute or even every five minutes. Watch this only if you are familiar with the rest of Monty Python (see "The Quest for the Holy Grail" first) and like such comics as Tom Green, etc. Some of the content is offensive and sickening but the highbrow comedy is there (even if you don't necessarily understand it).
A masterful swansong for the best and most influential comedy team to come out of England. I personally like it but found it an acquired taste. I would rate it as about 4/5.
For any younger people wanting to see this film, be warned... Don't show this film to your parents! There is a bit of (quite graphic) reference to naughtiness!