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Mother of the Bride (2024)
So derivative, an A.I. would refuse to write it...
OK... It is Netflix, so you know that a rom-com in time for mother's day will be bad, but come on guys, it does not need to suck so hard!
Who are these films written for anyways, bored monkeys? Well, spot on!
Using the Instagram influencer culture as an excuse, the film takes us to exotic puke-ed, sorry, I meant to write exotic Phouquet, Thailand, to showcase an illustrious wedding for the average multimillionaire Californian nice girl influencer. Unfortunately, too many likes make her loose sight of herself, but her mother -who is falling in love, again, with her father in law (yes, you've read that right)- is there to spark a revaluation of her core values and return to true self.
I can see it in front of me: giving the right prompt to an AI machine, describing the set and main attributes of the story... When the relationship between mother and father in law is mentioned, the machine starts to spark and fume... The producers hit enter! AI goes to work, analyzing the prompt data and chunks out: sorry. I am an AI, therefore I cannot write this derivative baloney. I cannot harm humanity by dumbening down any further their intellectual capacity. This script is dangerously unfunny and uninteresting and should never proceed to production stages.
The producers get two starving scriptwriters to write the screenplay and proceed to find an entire cast of actors that only have a single expression for the entirety of the film. I do not know if this is due to their acting capacity or botox, or both...
Should you watch the film? Of course... As said above, it is a film made especially for bored monkeys! Enjoy boredom...
Unfrosted (2024)
It's a Pop-Tart! What more do you want..?
Jerry Seinfeld would not choose this as a directorial debut, if he wasn't 100% sure he had a success of a film in his hands!
The films is unapologetically flat and unhealthy, with a sugary filling, just like a Pop-Tart! What more do you want?
Two colossus of the breakfast cereal market, are on a race to introduce their new milk-free breakfast snack... This is an excuse for a film which acts as a vehicle for a terrific stand-up comely line up, film references, 60s nostalgia, re-invention of US history, TV series cameos, a critique on political correctness, commentary on the Capitol insurrection, colourful acts, mindless action, funny and somewhat less funny gags, and more, much more...
Some people will point to this extravaganza as a shortcoming of the film, but for me it is actually its whole essence: 'cause only Jerry Seinfeld holds the comedic power to secure these elements and cast, for the needs of a purely commercial and entertaining movie. Not a comedian trying to win an Indie festival, but pure good old shameless fun!
This is truly a Pop-Tart of a film; remember, you found it displayed on the Netflix counter. So, stop going about judging it as if you saw it at the Venice Film Festival. You wouldn't score a Pop-Tart, the same way you critique a dish at a Michelin star restaurant.
Here's the deal: the film promises to be a Pop-Tart and it is! An almost perfectly entertaining, unhealthy, sweet Pop-Tart!
Enjoy...
La Gran Seducción (2023)
Falls far behind the original film they copied...
This is a scene to scene remake of an enjoyable and humorous european co-production film... The original already overly simple premise for the story gets even more oversimplified in this Netflix production. Do yourself a favour and look out for the original instead of this...
Other than this, likeable characters and toned down comedy, with the added charm of its rural setting! Here is exactly where the original shines, since the environment of the film does not feel as artificial as this Netflix production, where everything seems to be indeed manufactured for the sake of the film.
Going a bit further, the European film makes use of actual villagers that reside in the secluded fish harbour, touching a nit on the ethnographic as well in a very interesting manner.
Black Mirror (2011)
Season 06 is not a Black Mirror season...
Did they even provide the writers of Season 06 of Black Mirror with a brief? Or was the brief: "go ahead and spoil an iconic sci-fi series"?
Black Mirror is a sci-fi thriller series, providing a futuristic and usually pessimistic worldview, with scenarios that rely on the frontline of utilizing technology. These dystopian uses of technology are the critical substance of the series' DNA, giving us some excellent and hugely inventive episodes, in all five seasons.
Season 06 seems to be ignorant about such previous themes, suggesting episodes that deal with vampires to angels and other sort of bullcr@p! What is wrong with Netflix and its writers? Did they work on the episodes during the writers' prolonged strike? Do yourself a favour and avoid watching season 06!
Nope (2022)
9 out of 10... ...of the audience won't even understand what this movie is about.
Nope, this is not your mainstream horror sci-fi film.
Most of the audience won't even get the meta-phor.
Story is just the excuse to discuss moving images,
history of the cinema industry and its catastrophic
current montrous state of being...
And it's funny too!
Mother/Android (2021)
Such a pointless film...
It is hard to grasp how a production company can go to such extreme lengths and make a film with such a high value of production, which has absolutely nothing to say or give in terms of ideas and experiences to a viewer.
OK, we get it, it is only supposed to be a filmic vehicle to fame for Smith, who despite being unable to act nevertheless has to become a cinema star. But, how can this happen with a film that tastes like a blunt soup of ingredients, that fresh out of film college students randomly brought to the party?
Unimaginative, without any sense of rhythm, boring writing, insincere dialogue, bad acting, a completely ridiculus ending sequence... So so bad, in taking itself too seriously.
Stop trying to make films with prescribed recipes and start bringing actual talent to the production process! Have some fun for god's sake...
Eat Pray Love (2010)
What a waste of money and talent!
That movie got me so upset, that I had to write a review...
What an unbelievable waste of money and talent (a-list actors)!
Weak storyline, recycling conventions, unneeded camera actions, and terrible cinematography...
It is really a shame for such actors to be part of this joke. Even when they perform you cannot overcome the terrible film making and have a single moment of affection for characters.
Who is giving money to these people, to go on making such s$$$?
It is this kind of movies that makes you wonder about what's happening to Hollywood after they handed it to the financial gurus, instead of people that have a passion for cinema art.
Save yourself the time and frustration and watch anything else.