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Reviews
Love Happens (2009)
Really?!!
This 'romantic comedy' is about a pathetic guy who really lays it on about how terrible it is for his wife to have died three years previously, whilst becoming a wealthy celebrity commercialising his grief.
Even playing the tormented soul to Jennifer Aniston, who plays the woman who dates men successful in career but human losers, when he deigns to visit his late wife's parents, still grieving, whom he has never spoken to since the death, because he's such a sensitive guy.
But instead of meeting them. He steals their parrot and lets it off in the wild to die, to show those who can 't understand why anyone would give the film a bad review, what a deep loving sane man he is, still grieving at the loss of his wife. He then throws tantrums at Jennifer Aniston for no reason to show us how romantic he is, followed by throwing a tantrum at his agent because he's such a victim of life, his wife having died three years earlier. In his tantrum he tells his agent he wants his DVD (showing what a brilliant man he is) published earlier than planned, then throws a tantrum abut the city they're in. Poor place!
The film makers must have known they'd made a lemon so gave it a romantic title that bore no relation to what passes as a plot.
There really should be laws to regulate what the film industry is allowed to publish. Just when you think some films couldn't get any worse, you watch this train wreck of a film that steals 90 mins out of people's lives..
Dead Drop (2013)
A Tale of Two Morons..
...in what has to be the most moronic script from a film I can ever remember.
Despite endless part flashbacks, all we know is that Moron 1 got shot and fell or maybe was pushed, from a plane, or, as the last flashback suggests, neither Moron 1 nor Moron 2 realised that Moron 1 was starting to stand up next to an open plane door.
After surviving a fall without a parachute from a plane after being shot, Moron 1 then goes to kill Moron 2.
However, Moron 2 captures his love interest, and kills the only other person in his life Moron 1 says he cares about.
Further motivated to kill Moron 2, Moron 1 then goes round killing everyone associated with Moron 2.
However, when Moron 1 finally has Moron 2 in his sights, whilst Moron 2 is holding his love interest, Moron 1 lets Moron 2 get away. Still with his love interest, who dutifully runs away with him .
He then explained to one of Moron 2's drivers who Moron 1 kept in his car boot, that Moron 2 was his best friend so couldn't shoot him, despite killing endless of Moron 2's men who wouldn't or couldn't tell him where to find Moron 2 whom he had told the love interest early in the film that he had to kill.
After standing there, just watching Moron 2 get away with his love interest, Moron 1 then goes and kills more people associated with Moron 2.
To add a bit of a change, we have a CIA killer shooting at Moron 1 whenever the film makers couldn't think of what to do next in the film. Apparently, Moron 1 was a CIA contractor and whilst the CIA would love Moron 2 dead, the CIA was miffed because Moron 1 went after Moron 2 without their blessing, so they kept trying to kill him.
Moron 1 also seemed to have supernatural powers to deflect bullets when walking towards gunmen shooting at him at close quarters, allowing him to shoot any number of gunmen shooting at him.
Moron 1's supernatural powers enabled him to know where Moron 2 was hiding, Moron 2 moving around constantly.
It seems whilst everyone connected with Moron 2 never knew where he was, Moron 1 always seemed to.
Oh, the CIA gunmen ends up shooting the love interest, being a trained sniper with the latest rifle. Luckily, the Moron 2's driver who Moron 1 kept in the car boot, was a surgeon who with his dad saved the girl.
After killing lots more of Moron 2's men, Moron 1 finally has Moron 2 cornered. Instead of shooing him, Moron 1 puts his guns down and they start fighting. Moron 1 wins and takes Moron 2 to a vineyard, telling him to get down on his knees. He tells Moron 2 to walk away., meaning to have a truce where both stop trying to kill the other.
Instead of accepting this offer to allow him to live, Moron 2 then says he can't. So Moron 1 then finally shoots him.
The uninspiring beards both Morons sported, added to the absurdity of the film.
Still, all films have a target audience, and perhaps this was made to target morons - and I have to include myself as one, as despite realising after the first five minutes the film was going to be moronic, I, um, still watched it.
Damaged (2014)
An Insult to the (sane) Viewer
Crazy people might think this ridiculous plot of revenge is great but it sucks from the near beginning, after the girl goes nutty when he's trying to fix the sink, and he gets no red flag message!! So he happily drives around in her alleged dad's BMW, and accepts a Rolex watch from her, and gets everything the idiot deserves.
Being derivative the film makes no attempt to create genuinely believable acts of life sabotage. Instead it relies on a pathetic, weak, incredibly stupid teacher at the receiving end of implausible mishief.
Crazy people might think this ridiculous plot of revenge is great but it sucks from the near beginning, after the girl goes nutty when he's trying to fix the sink, and he gets no red flag message!! So he happily drives around in her alleged dad's BMW, and accepts a Rolex watch from her, and gets everything the idiot deserves.
Being derivative the film makes no attempt to create genuinely believable acts of life sabotage. Instead it relies on a pathetic, weak, incredibly stupid teacher at the receiving end of implausible mishief.
A Love to Remember (2021)
Most Irritating of so called Romances
I like 'cheesy' romances but this was just horrible. Started off ok with a cute female lead, who then turns into a complete moron.
As for the parents who had no curiosity as to why their son living at home didn't tell them he was married to a girl living with her friend..well, er..!
This could have been a decent hallmark style romance if the female lead had come clean soon after the doctor mistake, and then continued with the family as a consultant to help the company.
However, the dark cloud created by 'While you were sleeping' seems to have infected this movie with the same nonsense.
One really has to be in the same coma as the internet boyfriend not to find this movie irritating. Just as those who gave Sandra Bullock's awful movie a thumbs up that spawned this stupidity of a so called romance.