Change Your Image
Big-Mumf
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againOh; and they are are all 9's, so not in any particular order of merit.
I should point out I have never rated a film 10, although Finding Nemo came close...
Reviews
Hannibal (2013)
Heading for a 9 until...
Well, where to start?
Mads' is great: ignore all the negative opinions about his acting, it is borderline perfect.
I was enthralled, captivated and thoroughly enjoying the acting & the cast, but most of all I was enjoying the absolutely superb cinematography in this series.
It is dark in places (I'm not talking about Game of Thrones dark) which added to the gloriously gothic take on the books.
What ruined this for me was the terrible, terrible experimental sound track that progressively gets worse as the series continues. There is a plethora of classical music that could be used, but instead we are tortured with random pounding of drums and glockenspiel. Much louder than the dialogue, so I was forever reaching for the volume button, turning up to catch the dialogue, then down to avoid the ear splitting dross of the soundtrack.
NCIS: New Orleans (2014)
Well, it all got a bit silly...
Honestly, I enjoyed the first few series.
But then NCIS New Orleans turned into The Fast & Furious of the NCIS universe.
You know what I mean, it started OK then got a bit out of hand.
Gone are the 'grab your gear, dead sailor' plots; it turned into international espionage that only NCIS can solve, farcical plots ridiculous storylines, private submarines etc etc.
If they went back to what NCIS should be, I'm sure the audience figures wouldn't have dropped off to the degree that resulted in yet another American drama being cancelled.
Shame really, definitely the best theme tune of them all!
Twist (2021)
Avoid, unless you have bleach for your eyes.
Quite possibly the most horrendous film of theast 50 years.
Taking a classic Dickens story and adapting the characters to the 21st Century sounds like a great idea, and it is.
This film however; is not.
The cultural and gender appropriation is shocking.
It (the film) is simply appalling on every level, other than a couple of belters on the soundtrack. Miss Ora should avoid film in future endeavours, and the writers should consider a career in farming; where turning over this sort of manure is beneficial.
Absolute dross.
The Walking Dead: World Beyond (2020)
Probably not worth 3 stars.
I only gave it 3 stars because the makeup department deserves some praise.
Other than that, it's poor story line, thin plot and questionable acting: make this one to avoid.
Home Game (2020)
Amazing viewing
I would have scored this series a 9, but it was ruined by the inclusion of the roller derby.
Comparing roller derby to ancient sports with thousands of years of tradition was the only thing that let this Netflix 'docu-series' down.
Skip that episode and it's great viewing.
Fantastic Four (2015)
120 million?
The film cost $120 million or thereabouts. It's probably the worse superhero film I've had the misfortune to see.
I'm hoping beyond hopes that they really don't consider another project with the same cast and crew.
Given the budget and the capability of CGI, this could have been epic.
It's not. It's flawed in every way.
Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)
Gutted.
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in a movie? Turn the lights down, grab the popcorn and settle in for a couple of hours of movie madness.
But not in this film.
I tried, I really did. I got past the 1 hour mark before I couldn't take any more, and eventually turned it off at the 1 hour 13 point.
It really is that terrible.
Which saddens me, I'm a massive fan of the Cornetto trilogy; and even Paul was enjoyable.
Sorry about the diatribe, but it really is woefully inadequate as a movie.
Bumblebee (2018)
Enough already!
The plot is a joke, the loop holes are too abundant to list.
I can only assume this film is aimed at 4 or 5 year olds? It has to be time to stop making these movies now, just because they have the CGI ability (which is the only reason to score this a 4), doesn't mean they should.
Family Guy: You Can't Handle the Booth (2019)
I feel like Comic Book Guy
I'm a massive fan of Family Guy; so for me to say this was the "worse episode ever" says something.
The writers tried; and failed.
I rate Family Guy a strong 8, sometimes a 9.
This was just awful.
Sad times.
Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017)
What the actual?
It starts slow and drags to a slow crawl. I'm unsure why people have praised it so much; it really is awful. The fight scenes are laughable, the script is poor at best. I really wanted Vince to pull an acting class out of the bag, but he should stick to the comedy straight guy roll. It's just awful.
Instinct (2018)
Bitterly disappointed
Awful.
There's no other way to describe this horrendous attempt at what potentially could have been fantastic. Acting is mediocre at best, plot is nondescript :and the writing could have been done by a 10 year old.
Even the musical score has no idea what it's meant to be doing.
I'm offended by how bad this is.
Nitro Circus: The Movie (2012)
First ever 10 on IMDb
This is the first time I have given a film a 10! OK, it's not an adaptation of a Steven King novel, or a special effects laden Sci-Fi epic, what it is, is a group of friends living the dream.
Each 'character' is introduced in a witty and entertaining way, followed by insane stunts. Nitro Circus doesn't have the same cringe factor as Jackass and there's less of the mundane nut shots and basic jerking off that Jackass has, which makes it more appealing to Extreme sports enthusiasts as well as the general public who have grown weary of the Jackass boys trying to out do themselves.
The story is a journey to the live show in Las Vegas, which is explained well enough to keep the viewer entertained and involves 'us' in the excitement and anticipation of the climax of the film.
As mentioned in the title, this is the first film I have given a 10/10, I understand that if you're not into X Games or extreme sports this film may not appeal, but then, it might open your eyes to what some people are prepared to do for your entertainment as well as giving them the adrenalin rush some of 'us' need to live.
My advice is to turn out the lights, grab a few cold beers and enjoy the lunacy.
Sex and the City 2 (2010)
One of the worse films ever made.
To say this film is bad, would be like saying the sun is a small ball of gas; a HUGE understatement.
The whole film is a self indulgent, egotistical fashion show all based around what Sarah Jessica Parker wants. I loathed her 'look at how great I am' and all the slow motion shots of her after changing yet another outfit...
Possibly the worse movie script I've ever had to sit through, which was such a huge shame as the S & TC 1 wasn't all bad. I gave it 2*'s just because my Missus liked some of the dresses and some of the long shots.
I've got 1000 words to write on how bad it is, but I'll save it to one sentence;
Awful & avoid at all costs, not even on DVD or download!!
Chill Factor (1999)
Doesn't fit anywhere...
I am not a huge fan of Cuba Gooding Jnr, but enjoyed his performance in Radio, and as all actors put in the occasional good performance, I thought I'd give this fim a go. It was awful. The plot would belong better in an episode of Starsky & Hutch, the villain was (unfortunatly) badly played by Peter Firth, who I enjoyed in the TV series 'The battle for Rome'. Hugh Johnson directed this flick, and this is his one and only attempt, and since this he's gone back to cinematography where he firmly belongs. The plot is thin, obvious and not entertaining. The action sequences are poorly put together and edited so badly it hurts to watch. It's not an action picture, it's definitely not a comedy, but it trys to be both, and fails. I felt the acting was restricted by the director, who is ultimately to blame for this appalling film. All in all, a waste of a Tuesday morning off work!!!!
AfterLife (2003)
Not even an hour and a half soap opera
I'm sorry, but this film beggars belief. The writing was probably amongst the worse I've ever had to endure, and the acting performances were equally as poor. People will be reluctant to give a negative or bad review of the film, simply because one of the actors is a young adult who suffers from Downs Syndrome, which makes it VERY un-PC to criticise. However, that surely isn't reason enough to credit a film which lacks any substantial plot, where the filmography would be more at home on the set of a 3rd rate soap opera, and the actors themselves would be more suited to performing in a church hall, acting out a dodgy amateur dramatics production of Pirates of Penzance. In the days of corporate sponsorship, this film should have been sponsored by Dulux, as I would (personally) have rather watched paint dry.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
What a great film, irony and satire in abundance
Firstly, I think it's important to point out that the actor/comedian starring in this film is in fact Jewish himself. I know several members of the Jewish community who have seen this film and couldn't stop laughing from start to finish! If people choose to take this as a 'real' documentary, then that is where the problems of viewing pleasure will start. If however, the viewing public accept that this is a film that discovers the raw heart of American views towards the rest of the world, then the film is one to be enjoyed over and over again! I won't name scenes (no spoilers remember!), but Sascha had the nerve and audacity to follow through some scenes which are very (very) close to the knuckle, yet managed to entertain throughout. However, I imagine the American viewing public will have problems watching certain aspects of this film, as it eats away at foreign policy and views on the rest of the world. 9/10 for me!!!!