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Reviews
The Nun (2018)
I actually forgot I had already watched it
So. Premise: I watched all the conjuring universe movies and really liked most of them - some quite a lot.
So I really wanted to like this.
Tonight my wife and I started watching The Nun 2, then my wife stopped and we wondered whether we had watched the first. So we put it on and watched it. Again - as it turned out we had watched it all. It was just THAT inconsequential.
As many others have said, the story is not very original, quite linear. The acting nice but a bit flat. I had probably two jump scares in the whole movie - many when my wife half jumped I was honestly quite nonplussed. (By halfway through, I was so bored I spent the rest of the movie half watching and half browsing on my phone.
There are much better horror movies out there.
All the Light We Cannot See (2023)
What a missed opportunity!
Oh what a missed opportunity! What a true truly great television series this could have been.
You have a Pulitzer prize book as a starting point. A beautifully written, poignant story, expertly balanced between personal and historical drama. Above all, it is a poetic, intelligent story, with plenty of carefully crafted, cerebral tension.
Trust Netflix to turn it into the usual mass-appeasing cheap drama fodder.
OK. You want to make an extended adaptation, over four hours. This means you have plenty of time to tell the story as closely as possible to the original. To develop the characters. To balance slow moving scenes and more action packed sequences.
But you just follow the story. After all, it is a widely recognised masterpiece. Right?
What do you do instead? You fancy yourself better than the author.
You add characters, cut corners, cut out bits of story, unnecessarily re-write (even substantial and important) parts of the plot, add even more unnecessary and often cringe-worthy back stories, write pedestrian, cheesy dialogue and cheap dramatic scenes. They were obviously unable to recreate the same cerebral, refined tension and decided instead to turn the whole thing into a third rate melodrama. With close to zero character development. What about the complexity of Etienne's character? His fight with his demons? The beautiful relationship between Werner and Volkheimer? Just to name a couple.
I had finished the book the same day, so I felt the disappointment so much more sharply.
Yes, book adaptations are a disappointment over half the time, but it is still a crime.
Black Mirror: Crocodile (2017)
Disappointing
First review in quite a while, and thoroughly enjoying this series - got to it lately and just binging it.
Sadly this episode is really quite disappointing. As many have pointed out, the real star of the show is the scenery - bleak, ominous, forbidding. The episode itself though.... It starts well, the accident/murder making for a good background to build on, but it's developed clumsily. Personally, even in the dystopian and "suspended belief" world of Black Mirror, I just cannot buy in this meek architect turning pretty much into a cold blooded murderer in the space of one minute, tracking down potential witnesses and even murdering a baby. The technology element I also agree is weak. Certainly if such technology was widely used even by insurance companies, it would be common knowledge - so it's hardly believable she'd admit to being a witness to something happened as she was murdering someone. The acting mainly subpar as well compared to other episodes. Sorry, definitely not impressed with this.
Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: Dreams in the Witch House (2022)
Kept an open mind...
...having read how it was not faithful to Lovecraft's story (which, in all fairness, I remember only vaguely, having read it about 20 years ago).
I thought - as long as it is a good story, that'll be fine. Sadly it wasn't quite. As far as the story goes, it's not terrible. But, as others said, it does drag a little and I found the acting unimpressive.
The rest of this review is filler to meet the genuinely ridiculous word count. The rest of this review is filler to meet the genuinely ridiculous word count. The rest of this review is filler to meet the genuinely ridiculous word count. The rest of this review is filler to meet the genuinely ridiculous word count.
House of Gucci (2021)
What's with the accents??
As an Italian, I have found the accents in turn irritating and mildly offensive. Why??? If it were a parody or a comedy, it could have just about made sense but... I really couldn't go through with it, too annoying.
Enola Holmes (2020)
I wonder...
If all those people complaining about the excessive feminism ever bothered to complain about the excessive machismo of 90% of movies in the history of cinema? Apart from that, loved this movie, fun, good pace, good photography, quirky, well acted. What's not to like? Bah humbug!
Rebus (2000)
Good if you haven't read the books.
Watched all episodes about a year ago, after enjoying one of the books, and I have to say I liked it. Having now read most of the books, it's disappointing watching the series again. Some episodes have nothing to do with the book, like Knots and Crosses, many others are loose adaptations which lose a lot of the plot intricacies and 'bite' of the books. Even allowing for the fact that they have to squeeze the stories into an hour long episodes, there could be more suspense. Stott is the best thing in it, good characterisation of Rebus, little else.
Rebus: Strip Jack (2006)
Good if you haven't read the book
Sadly I had literally just finished the book, and wanted to see how it was on screen. Little proviso, I had seen all the Ken Stott episodes before, about a year ago, and really liked them. The problem is that - apart from being quite loose adaptations of Rankin's book (and some episodes have actually nothing to do with the book, like Knots and Crosses), the story is too simplified. I think that even having to squeeze it in an hour episode, there could have been more plot intricacies, more twists. Love Ken Stott, he makes a very good Rebus, but that's about it.
Superbad (2007)
Exactly as it says on the tin: superBAD
I have to admit, me and my girlfriend approached this movie with some expectations, as it was produced by the people behind Anchorman (which I consider an outrageously funny, "stupid" movie) but, try as we might, we had to stop it halfway through. Just never seen anything so appallingly bad in my whole life...
You don't expect these kind of movies to have a substantial plot but, honestly, here we touched rock bottom. Three adolescents "cruising around to get alcohol for a party", hoping to get two/three schoolmates drunk and have sex with them, talking about sex like perverted 4 year olds, meeting the most improbable and stupid cops of the history of cinema...
But this should not be a problem, as long as the gags are funny, right? Well, the vast majority of the gags in this movie wouldn't make even the aforementioned 4 year old laugh. Just bad taste, no humour, no wit...nothing.
The worst movie ever.