Itsrae1 Reviews

Kid Monk Baroni (1952)

Ironic, isn't it?

[22 December 2002]

The most amusing part of this little movie is the fact that Nimoy plays a young man so ugly women make fun of him. By 1966 they were kicking and screaming to get to their Vulcan during his amok time. I fell off the sofa when I accidentally caught this modest offering on daytime tv back in the 70's. Life is funny.

The movie itself? I remember enjoying it because I was such a Trekker at the time. Another fan of a multi-talented actor like Nimoy (did you ever hear him sing?) might be similarly disposed.

Habit (1995)

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

[9/10 · 12 July 2002]

Maybe it was the New York scene, where the apartments are small and dreary and you can get your tooth kicked out during a mugging. Or maybe it was the frankly revolting protagonist. How about the unnaturally natural acting? The fresh photography and flawless editing? How about the fact that it was made on zero budget? Compare it to any Stephen King blockbuster and see which one stays in your psyche longer.

"Habit" is a deafeningly quiet little film that absolutely gave me the creeps. For those who are no longer "scared" by jump scenes, fluorescent orange "blood," and the computer generated carnage that couldn't possibly be real, you may find a disturbing connection both viscerally and psychologically to this small masterpiece.

Not satisfying for everyone, but a very special movie of its kind.

The Last Wave (1977)

Disappointing after all that hype.

[4/10 · 8 July 2002]

I jumped at the chance to view this movie uncut and uninterrupted, remembering rahs and raves for it. But wherever it seemed about to slip into being truly scary, it backed off and went somewhere else. The dripping water throughout the house, the black rain, the prophetic dreams, taking the wrong turn in raw sewage were dropped before they could work up to a scream.

What a disappointment. Chamberlain's nearly expressionless mask of a face offered little but confused disbelief, something I found myself mirroring as the film wore on. What could have been eerie Aboriginal chanting and instruments in the background were instead a cacophony seemingly designed to beat terror into one's head. The ideas that modern people can embody ancient gods, that the Aboriginal peoples believe red-haired white men were the first priests, and many other possibilities are passed along more like a shopping list than a hint at another dimension (the Dream Time).

In the final scene, it wasn't clear to me what the director was trying to tell. Is there a big wave? So what? How big? A tsunami? Yeah, okay. That's devastating but not apocalyptic. Is it the end of the world? From a wave? The last wave? That'd have to be a pretty darn big wave. Why? Was the world that bad a place? It didn't seem so awful in this movie. Actually I didn't think the wave came off, since the shadow left Burton's face that had been cast by the wave. Was it only Burton's apocalypse? Heck, that happens every day to people who lose it. It wasn't of any interest if it was only him.

The most frightening scene, and the one that gives the best indication of Weir's potential, was in Charlie's apartment where Burton has gone to confront the old man for scaring Burton's wife. Charlie keeps asking him "Who are you?" and it becomes truly disturbing after a while. Unfortunately, the movie never followed suit.

Immortality (1998)

Oddly Off the Mark

[5/10 · 28 June 2002]

(SPOILERS) Maybe it's the pacing, or the complete lack of chemistry between the man and the woman, or an inability due to time to follow through on some nifty little sidebars (like the crystals that get coughed up, and where their money comes from, and what comes out on the gang's camera, and why a detective decides to be re-baptized). Maybe it's the non-acting. Or the silliness of the "plot" such as it is. Or the implausibility of the concept (as if "regular" vampires are more plausible).

Not a pleasant or enjoyable or illuminating moment in this movie for me. And do you think you could dangle one-handed over a precipice and plunge a chopstick twice clear through somebody's hand? Golly, I do that two or three times a day.

At the very end of the movie, when it should have come to a climax, it reminded me suddenly of Theodore Sturgeon's story, "Some of Your Blood" and I thought wow, these people have made a movie out of that story; all will be well. Endings will be happy or at least logical. But no. (If you thought the movie plot was confused but bought the vampire idea, you might want to see how Sturgeon handled a similar situation.)

Pretty boring all around.

Beauty and the Beast (1987–1990)

They could have done so much with this concept!

[28 June 2002]

But --- they didn't. They started off with a most intriguing and actually quite plausible concept: a complete, self-contained society operating in secret beneath the streets of Manhattan. This society is kinder and gentler than most, almost utopian, and is epitomized by their resident lion-man, Vincent. The writers never give us a complete story on Vincent. We have to learn it in bits and tantalizing little pieces. In my area, the intrusion of Dan Rather in China nearly getting creamed by a tank deprived me of the truth as to Vincent's parentage.

But the inspiration founders halfway through the second season. Far-fetched reasons have to be cobbled up to get Vincent after bad guys. The third season was an embarrassment to me - here I was a big, big fan and talking the series up around work when the fairy tale fell apart.

Before then, there was a palpable sexual tension between Vincent and Catherine that made watching each episode excrutiatingly pleasurable. I admit to that guilty pleasure. When they supposedly finally make love, we not only don't see it, but Vincent has possibly gone totally bestial before the meeting itself. Far more interesting and meaningful scenarios for their eventual union can be imagined by every fan of this show.

Nevertheless, the first one and a half seasons of "Beauty and the Beast" are magnificent, from the lighting to the costuming to the writing and the acting. Contrary to what some other fans think, I never considered Catherine beautiful physically. In fact, they dressed her terribly most of the time and her hair was a disaster for her face. But she grew an inner beauty through knowing Vincent, his caring for her, their connection, until she was, indeed, "Beauty." Could it be that Vincent's appearance was not so beastly and Catherine's not so beauteous? If the idea behind this series wasn't that we should judge everyone on how they act and not how they look, then I guess I sadly misunderstood it.

Sleepwalkers (1992)

Tongue Firmly in Cheek

[18 June 2002]

If you can't tell that King is teasing you with this screenplay, you're gonna think it's a pretty poor excuse for a horror/monster flick. But I think ole Steve is having some fun with us. Of COURSE nobody can get killed with a corn cob. The whole movie is designed by a bored popular fiction mega-author and not intended for the Palmes d'Or.

Look at it this way: you get some neat ideas, some gruesome special effects (eyeballs removed via pencil? where's a good corn cob when you need one?), cats are heroes for a change (I liked that), and we glimpse Alice Krige in a pre-Borg Queen dry run. Nor is Brian Krause originally hard to look at. So? Enjoy! But I don't disagree that except for the memorable scenes one might want to review (I have my favorites, do you?), once is probably enough.

Blade II (2002)

Once is enough.

[23 May 2002]

This is one of those great special effects movies with a gorgeous hero and terrific villains, action and fights and sound effects to stun you, but seeing it once is enough.

If you can ignore the crashes as the laws of physics are broken left and right, you can enjoy the fight scenes. Would be nice if, someday, an action movie showed you the entire fight, didn't edit all over the place. These actors and performers work very hard to achieve some grace and proficiency in the martial arts; I'd like to watch them doing some. But I hate it when a character that died already is resurrected for a sequel.

My favorite character actor, Ron Perlman, was a neat surprise as I hadn't known he would be in the movie. Once a larger than life hero himself, he must (as all character actors do) now play villains. But Perlman playing a villain is better than not having Perlman to watch at all. Rock on, Vincent.