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Reviews
Slither (2006)
Waste of time
Don't get me wrong, I love alien invasion films, but this movie is worthless. Just when it starts to get good out comes some unrealistic and entirely UNfunny joke. Why does everyone who gets the chance to work with this kind of material feel the need to inject it with smug humor? It's like the writer / director wants us all to know how much smarter he is than the subject matter. After DAWN OF THE DEAD and now SLITHER, I hope to never see another James Gunn film. Well, maybe if he learns either to make a film that doesn't insult the genre that puts the bread on his table or he learns how to set up his jokes correctly. This movie is no NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, that's for sure!
Sweet Home Alabama (2002)
Sweet Trash Alabama
Hick justification nonsense. Watch only if you live in very rural area and need something to make you feel like you are where it's at. All others avoid. As a love story, there is nothing here. As a film, there is nothing here. Why did I rent this? Better yet, why are films like this made? I gave it a 3, though. I mean, it's obviously made by people who know how to make movies. Too bad they set their standards WAY low.
Poppoya (1999)
Tripe
This film's story is nothing more than social propaganda. It tries to lay blame for Japan's social decline by showing how Japanese should regard their work: Do whatever it is you are assigned to do with all your might and don't look at the larger picture. Sure, there is a positive aspect to this--you got a worker busting his butt to do a good job--but this is a thinking that is no longer applicable in today's world.
Ryoko Hirose is an abysmal actress. And what's with that bit of her telling her dad that she's "happy". She's dead! She's a ghost! She's not even real! It's all a delusion on the part of her dad, which should indicate even more that his philosophies toward his job should be regarded with suspicion.
I think that non-Japanese who watch this film without knowledge of how things work in Japan will come away with an unrealistic understanding of the Japanese work ethic. It's only this way in the minds of nostalgic old folk who still fail to see that this way of thinking led to destructive involvement with the Nazis. Basically, while totally different in theme, it is as much propaganda as US films about elite solder teams rescuing civilians from the clutches of mad terrorists. And it's not even a well made film.
It Came from Beneath the Sea (1955)
Something are better not revisited
I recently picked this up on DVD eager to relive a film I loved from TV back in the 60s. Well, was I let down. I'm not talking about Ray H's FXs. He's a god and they are untouchable. I also don't even care about it having 6 legs. Science is out the door to begin with; this is a non-issue. My complaint is just about everything else. I'm talking story, direction, acting, pacing etc. It's a wooden film all around.
The acting is laughable sans Tobey and Domergue. Pros tossed with obvious amateurs ruin the film from start to finish. Some of the acting is painful to watch. And there are too many long, monotonous shots that feel as if the camera was left on and forgotten about. Then there is the whole big deal made about Domergue being a new woman only to have her scream like a kid the first time she sees the creature. This is an example of the film's biggest fault: Ideas get tossed out, fall flat and are never seen again, with the film constantly making issues out of things unimportant to the plot.
The love triangle thing is unfathomable, too. Who loves who? (Who cares!)The only way I can explain it as an adult is that the 3 stars, so nonchalant in their affections, must have been the most free wheeling folk of the 50s. Very bizarre stuff. As a kid I probably just labeled it adult nonsense and didn't even try to understand.
And what's up with Kenneth Toby smoking in the lab with a giant "No Smoking" sign looming behind him? Just another example of the lack of attention to detail that mars this film from start to finish. In that vein, let's not forget the idiotic narration that gets inexplicably dropped halfway through the film.
I love 50s SF. It's the mainstay of my collection. But it'll be a long time before I come around to this one again.
Norman England
Ju-on 2 (2003)
Fantastic!
If you thought JU-ON 1 was good, you're going to love the second installment! Everything about this film is top notch: direction, script, cast, FXs, camera work, pacing. I was very impressed with how after 4 trips to the well (the first two in the series were direct-to-video), the series just gets better and better.
This movie is extreme. Not in blood or gore, it is extreme thematically. Unlike modern US horror films that leave some sort of cop out exit door for audience members, this film avoids that pitfall. And the FXs are just enough to be effective. None of that FXs for the sake of FXs crap that makes US films longer than they need be (and weaker story wise).
Better than RING? Better than KAIRO? Well, at least as good and certainly a positive addition to the growing body of "Japanese Horror".
Eight Legged Freaks (2002)
This movie was lame
A film about giant spiders trying to be funny? Were the filmmakers on drugs? A little humor is nothing bad, but the amount here was absurd! It was like they were trying to make it palatable for ten-year old girls. But how can that be? There are scenes of spiders sucking the life out of webbed human beings! And those silly spider voices. Oh Lord, was I ever laughing... NOT! This is why I like similar themed 50s films more: they don't try to be something they're not. You watch THEM, and THEM is what you get. Is THEM a children's film? I don't know, but I did see it first when I was a child. Oh, no wait. That's right. People are so much more SOPHISTICATED today. They can never accept giant spiders on the loose, so it's got to be made into a comedy for them to "enjoy". Obviously there is a contigent of people out there who think genre stuff is ridiculous. OK/Whatever. But why do some people who handle genre stuff act as though they need to pander to someone else's contempt? Avoid this film totally!
Men in Black II (2002)
Grrrrrrr....
This movie was AWFUL! For one thing, with the film being so SHORT, the head and end credits amount to 10 percent of the film. Now, what is that? If that was a joke, then it was the best one in the film. This movie is almost as bad as Mac and Me, so you know we're talking bad here. Whatever you do, avoid this movie at all costs.