datdudesketch Reviews

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

A real American ZERO!

[5/10 · 8 August 2009]

Okay, so clearly I did not give this film a zero, because it's not all that bad for non fans. But, if you're a G.I. Joe aficionado like myself looking to time travel for at least 120 minutes of your life... forget it. The Rise of Cobra has so many pros and cons it's hard to truly shoot it down or give it praise and I'll tell you why.

The pros: I'm sure most fans are completely psyched to finally see a live action battle between Storm Shadow (the white ninja) and his sword brother Snake Eyes (the black ninja) on the big screen. Truthfully we get two great scenes in all of its bloody ninja goodness, so there's no need to complain there. Also, Sienna Miller delivers sexiness and vicious intent as the Baroness. She's so hot in that leather you'd almost go into a trance right before she kills you. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the shining jewel of this film. Yes, I said it. A lot of the fans I've heard from scoffed at his casting, but he proved them wrong as I knew he would! Joseph delivers a great voice and commanding presence as Cobra Commander that could not be topped. Finally, there's some awesome nostalgic elements to smile at like the "Yo Joe!" call, "Knowing is half the battle", and even a glimpse at the USS Flagg which was the G.I. Joe's aircraft carrier. Unfortunately, that's where it ends folks.

The cons: Sure you get a healthy dose of ninja action, but the back story between Storm and Snake is completely rewritten. It doesn't have any connection as to why they are now in the G.I. Joe and (ahem) MARS organizations! Is it just random coincidence? All of the back stories are changed and not one of them is completely believable, so don't think for a second that you non-fans would like what they did. I won't go into details because I'd be here all night. Sienna Miller looked good, but god... what a horrible Baroness. Remember I mentioned vicious intent? That's all it is, intent. She never really does any damage. Speaking of damage... there's just way too much guys. Really.

So that's how I see it. The film is a great one night stand, but she lacks the intelligence and potential for a second date. If you're looking to see a bunch of loud explosions, skin tight black rubber and goofy one-liners than this is the movie for you. Don't expect to come out of the theater reviewing all the cools scenes with your buddies, because you won't remember any of them. It's a wham bam thank you ma'am.

Orphan (2009)

That is one twisted "kid"!

[8/10 · 2 August 2009]

Excellent! This is way better than I had expected it to be. We always get a story about some crazy person that wants to kill an unsuspecting family but this one takes the cake. Try to imagine "The Good Son" (sans Macaulay Culkin) with the ferocity of "The Omen" and a little pinch of "The Crush". Catching the pattern here? There is no supernatural crap going on, which is what I expected at first. Esther is just plain psycho in all sense of the word. But I'll get to that in a second.

I gave it an 8 because it was original in what becomes a big plot twist, while the action and story was well laid out. Its fast paced where it needs to be and dramatic in that same respect. Although the characters were all wonderful and the actors are great, the dad is a bit naive. That's not completely unreal, but it does get annoying that he trusts Esther over his own wife. I mean seriously.

Isabelle Fuhrman is a stupendous actress in The Orphan. While the character Esther is smart, funny, overwhelmingly talented and a little obnoxious, its only a testament to Fuhrman's skills. For such a young star to pull off such a intense role is mind boggling. This is not a Disney channel kid... no... and hopefully, she's going to go far!

The Proposal (I) (2009)

WAY better than expected!

[8/10 · 21 June 2009]

This is where Sandra Bullock shines. She does comedy so well, I'm so happy to see her go back to it. Ryan Reynolds has always been a favorite of mine. I wasn't at all thrilled about X-Men Origin: Wolverine, but he made a good move here. To see him in this was awesome. Acting was top notch! Their expressions were great, this duo knows how to make the simplest reactions look ridiculously funny. Speaking of which, Sandra is oh-so beautiful. I have to say if you're at all curious about The Proposal, go! You'll have a lot of fun.

Anyway, the only reason I haven't given it a 10 is because I just want to be stubborn. Otherwise, its a must see and deserves a 10!

The Unborn (2009)

Actually,.. better than expected.

[6/10 · 11 March 2009]

Okay so I really of enjoyed this one. A few good scares and nothing does a better scare for me than ghosts, so they pulled it off nicely. It had no need for blood or gore as many would disagree with, but as far as I'm concerned, that doesn't make a film spooky or horrific. The Unborn works well with really good makeup and visual effects. I like the "blue eyes" idea... very cool.

I see some people knocking the acting or even the production crew. Where's the love people? First of all, from where I stand Gary Oldman can do no wrong and everyone else did fairly well in comparison to their previous roles. Cam Gigandet was a true jerk in Never Back Down, but I found him likable here. Meagan Good (and yes she looks GOOD), thank your heavenly stars this wasn't another 'Missed Call'. Nice improvement on her part. Needless to say, Odette Yustman (who looks great in her underwear by the way) plays fear well... not great, but fairly well.

If you think lots of nudity, blood and gore are what make a good horror film, don't waste your time. Like a well written episode of Supernatural, this is a pure goosebumps on your arms type of movie.

Seven Pounds (2008)

Definitely worth seeing!!

[10/10 · 17 December 2008]

I don't give out 10 stars easily unless it's a film that can keep me guessing. A film that will make me want to see it through to the end, not because I paid hard earned cash, but because I truly care about the characters and where they're going to end up. If you like me, then you're going to want to see this one.

Will Smith has always been an interesting actor for me. I watch everything he does because I'm a huge fan. I must admit that the idea of him playing another heartbroken, distanced from the world individual (Hancock, I am Legend) made me a little annoyed, but this one was a home run. The character Ben Thomas is such a mystery that you want to know what he plans to do; for others, for himself, etc. As the story unfolds, so does his intentions and not in a really simplistic way. He's a complex person, but not so much that he aggravates me. He's intriguing.

The connection between Will Smith and Rosario Dawson is so well done and so believable. This is how it's supposed to be done. There's a chemistry in their acting that I haven't seen in about 10 years or so. I'm not exaggerating. I haven't seen too many films where the chemistry is genuine; kudos to the both of them.

It is very touching and sad, yet heartwarming. Geez, did I say that? I walked away from this one feeling good. That's what it is in the end. A feel good movie.

Four Christmases (2008)

Vince delivers yet again

[8/10 · 15 December 2008]

I originally had no intention of seeing this file at all; especially since Fred Claus felt like a lump of coal in my proverbial stocking. But I'm glad I did. I agree with some comments about it lacking Christmas spirit but seeing as how I'm a big Scrooge at heart, that's one of the reasons why I loved it. I laughed a lot at the darkness of their anti-Christmas humor.

The shining light in this film is Vince Vaughn himself who's fast talking wit is incredible. Like in Wedding Crashers (a fav of mine), he's mouths off a million words a minute. It's hilarious. Vince's on screen family is a total crack up with the whole MMA fighting and spray cheese. Love it.

Reese Witherspoon never disappoints either she's got the personality to keep Vince on his toes. Snappy and smart.

Don't go into this one looking for heartwarming, yuletide cheer, but if you want a good laugh at some crazy characters and snappy dialog then this is the one to see.

X-Men: Evolution (2000–2003)

Finally the New Mutants or X-Force gets a show!

[9/10 · 30 November 2008]

That's pretty much what I would chalk this up to. The New Mutants series finally hits the screen. If you read the comics back in the 80's like myself then you know what I'm talking about. Wolfsbane, Sunspot, Boom Boom, amazing!

Plus, it's totally different than any previous series or new one that's out now, in the sense that they didn't regurgitate old stories. The 90's series tried retelling some cool plots but left me yelling at the screen all the time. "That's not how that happened!" "Why'd they do that?!" lol.

X-Men Evo is all original start to finish. Awesome. Think about it. We all want to see some of our favorite tales retold visually but me, I don't want my favs being changed for the sake of cost or director's personal choice (X-men the last stand... ugh).

Evolution also had the best animation ever! Very anime influenced. Some characters like Wolvie were a little exaggerated visually but still very cool looking. Especially season 3 and 4 with Apocalypse. Best rendition of this character I've ever witnessed. He was totally evil. Magneto comes off like a dark shadowy madman, which is so different. No soft old man here. Magnus was vicious and calculating. Perfect!

I couldn't ask for anything more other than bring this one back! It was stopped when it just reached it's peak. So sad. I was ready to see all the things that Xavier seen for the future. (When you see the series finale you'll know what I mean). So...

until Wolverine starts hosting his own cooking show, talk show and reality TV... make mine Marvel.

Wolverine and the X-Men (2008–2009)

When you just gotta have another show!

[7/10 · 30 November 2008]

Okay... while I don't share everyone's enthusiasm i must say that this version of the mythos is just good enough to keep me entertained. Great stories, great voice work, and great action sequences.

Wolverine did lead the team on occasion in the books and he is the oldest in the house... makes sense for him to be the leader here. The other thing is that cool is the other characters' personalities. I love the way they portrayed Mr. Sinister, he's absolutely perfect. One of my favorite villains that I've yet to learn everything about. It's like they took both Evo and TAS and mixed them in for a better series. Not perfect in my book, it still leaves me wanting an upbeat soundtrack and brighter style. The whole "we're making it darker" thing doesn't work for me. Every individual X-man is dark and tortured enough. Through some happiness on these characters.

When I first saw the ads I got sick to my stomach. The way they designed wolverine's arms and torso is like something out of Fist of the north star... just way to big. Did Rob Liefeld draw this? X-men Evo is a little exaggerated as well but not as much as this one. But I digress, it's very entertaining when you just need another hit of X-men in your veins.

Anyway, until Bruce Wayne buys the X-mansion and evicts all the muties to the morlock tunnels... make mine Marvel. :P

100 Feet (2008)

Hey Hollywood... take notes!

[8/10 · 19 October 2008]

I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Maybe more than I should have. It's amazing how this film could keep me interested when all I expected was to enjoy 90 minutes or so of Famke Janseen on my screen. She delivered a really good performance, naturally... but the highlight of the film was the ghost himself. Very scary stuff. I got goosebumps at every scene and that's hard to say with the recent garbage out there these days. As far as characters... well done. You ever watch those films where every line is like a narration for the audience? As if we're all dummies? Well, there's no instructional dialogue between characters here; it's just plain as day and straight to the point. Eric Red is really good director as well, I'll be looking for more of his work from here on out. Great effects, great story, I can only take off points just to be unbiased. I'm impressed. Hollywood should step back and take notes. This is how it's done. Stop stealing ideas from Japan and Korea. Use 100 Feet as a blueprint and you'll sell more tickets you hacks.

The Spectacular Spider-Man (2008–2009)

Better than the Rest... WAY BETTER!

[10/10 · 5 April 2008]

I've watched every spider-man animated series there has ever been and this one is by far my favorite of them all. The past series that I've watched have so many flaws I can count them on 10 hands, but this... flawless so far!

Okay, the theme song is pretty weird, but I kind of like that too.

I love that it's more about the high school years with Gwen Stacy (something that was left out of the 1st film Grrrr!) Though I seriously doubt that the producers will kill the animated Gwen :P That's not likely. Plus they're keeping faithful to the comic by making Mary Jane's identity a mystery. Nice!

Compared to the 90s show, the animation is consistent from one episode to the next. In the 90s series artists got lazy and repeated scenes or it was drawn crappy one weekend, then beautiful the next. Spectacular stays clean and well drawn. Even the action sequences are clean, like Spidey's movements are so well done it's hard to believe. And thank you so much for not incorporating 3D buildings....yuck! Spidey's jokes are funnier than they ever been in any previous series as well. The villains give him plenty of ammo.

Speaking of villains, they are so strategically placed throughout the series it's amazing (no pun intended). Their stories are not rushed like the 90's show. He's not babbling on and on about some girl while fighting the baddie and then the scene gets cut back and forth sporadically. I can't say anything bad about this show... yet. But I doubt that they'll give me a reason to.

So until this one goes belly up, make mine Marvel!

Justice League: The New Frontier (2008 Video)

Some things should be left alone

[1/10 · 30 January 2008]

For the record, this has nothing to do with any previous series or animated films from the DCAU, and there lies the problem. Why? Didn't this Golden Age universe get destroyed in the comics during the '80s?

In attempt to adapt a comic mini-series, Warner Bros is 0 for 2 in my book. The Superman:Doomsday film was just has horrifically boring as this, but The New Frontier lacked any solid plot. Its like, the multiple stories that I expected would mend in the end never happened.

Oh my, we're being attacked by alien monster that wants to wipe out humanity. There's a shock! Been there, done that, can we just continue from the JLU series and leave the experimental stories for the comics? Keep the DCAU going the way it's expected by many.

The animation was pretty cool and I liked the attempt to reinvent that Golden Age art style. The voices were excellent, especially Flash and Batman (Jeremy Sisto sounded a tad like Adam West). I do appreciate the effort, but after the way Warner ended the JLU series, nothing they do can renew my faith in their animated works.

This was simply boring from start to finish!

I want my 75 minutes back... huh... can you give me that?!

Superman/Doomsday (2007 Video)

WTF?! Are the WB brain dead?!

[2/10 · 30 January 2008]

Oh look, up in the sky... it's an evil Superman... again!

Hey look, an evil monster that destroys everything in his path has just died! But wait.... where did his body go? What a coincidence that he was buried on Earth instead of on a distant, uninhabited planet?

Wow, Superman has a super human healing factor as well... he can't die! Superman is a GOD?!!!

How come when a comic gets adapted to animation or live-action, it gets raped and all the important elements that hold the story together are thrown to the shredder? The death of Superman had depth, many characters, a more detailed death, afterlife and resurrection and most of all, heart.

I watched this movie and all i could think was, "yeah yeah, Superman's dead. Oh look, he's not... whoop-dee-do!"

The saving grace for this flick was the animation and voices. Though, Lex Luthor resembled a well dressed stick figure :D

The Golden Compass (2007)

I don't get it, please explain it to me!

[3/10 · 27 January 2008]

I haven't read the book, I don't know anything of the film other than it was ridiculously boring and very poorly put together. The storytelling is so misplaced or scattered that it was hard to understand exactly what was going on. Yet there in lies another problem. When the characters attempted to clue me in through dialog, it sounded like they were reading an instruction manual out loud. The young star of this film was so robotic that she could easily snatch the "worst performance" title from "Attack of the clones" star Hayden Christensen. If not for the beauty of Nicole Kidman, I would've never got past the first 30 minutes. And note that I said her 'beauty' not her talent, which is a huge disappointment. Next thing to bother me was the whole dust thing. Dust? Dust?!! All the amazing things in this universe and their making a fuss over dust?! I feel dumber for having watched this film. The only reason I even gave it 3 stars is for the demon animals which were the most interesting part of the film. The animation didn't blend with the reality as smoothly as I had hoped, but they did intrigue me.

The Marine (2006)

A good first try for Cena

[5/10 · 21 January 2008]

As a huge wrestling fan, I always look forward to the superstars breaking out into bigger things like the film industry. Some were trash, some were really good and this is like right in the middle. It's a comic action flick with great explosions, non-stop chasing, and whole lot of funny moments. It's silly but enjoyable, as if they were attempting to bring back the classic blow up action movies (i.e. Lethal Weapon, Die Hard), but didn't quite pull it off. In the ring, John Cena is playing... John Cena. So he doesn't get that much practice the whole personality stuff that his character required. He did a fairly good job considering the script and the directing, so I don't knock him for this one. I always thought that the WWE were fashioning him into the new Rock, who also needed some molding, but if Rock can improve, then so can Cena. If you're bored, need something loud, funny, and ridiculous enough to make you say "oh my god, what the-- that's not even possible!" ha ha WATCH IT!

See No Evil (2006)

Big surprise from WWE Films!!

[8/10 · 21 January 2008]

I was expecting a really bad film, with a god-awful plot line but to my surprise, this was a decent slice of slasher horror. After a slew of teen stars strutting around the silver screen in what I'd like to call the "scream teens era", we needed something to bring back the days of old. Okay so you got the new torture device flicks like Saw and Hostile, but where was the menacing slasher villains I loved to watch? This movie did those classic killers justice. Kane was the right choice, of course. Not much of a stretch for him, seeing as how he's just playing... Kane with a different name. The teenage victims were absolutely annoying I routed Kane on as he sliced and diced them, but I think that was the idea. There were some pretty original gore scenes that I didn't expect either. He's no kitchen knife killer... oh no... this is top tier stuff from a sick mind if you ask me. Someone on here mentioned a cliché storyline... okay, what were you watching dude? Very original ideas for the killer's background, and it even had a good side story for the teens that were in it. Let's face it, would you stay in a creepy old hotel if you can escape... of course you would, if there was money in there! Anyway, I liked it... I give it 2 middle fingers up.

American Gangster (2007)

WTF?! I want my TIME back!

[1/10 · 22 December 2007]

I'm gonna make this brief, because lord knows this film does not deserve the attention. Denzel Washington... oh look it's Denzel playing ... um... Denzel? Yeah, I said it. I didn't see a story of any kind that was "riveting" or "intriguing". There was no "emotional roller coaster" going on here. I love long films, I don't care about that, but this seemed rather too long to be so pointless. No twists, no surprises, pretty much cut and dry. If you seen one gangster film you pretty much seen them all; with the exceptions of real classics like Scarface, Godfather and Goodfellas. And if you seen one Denzel film you seen him one too many times!

Batman Begins (2005)

Too Much Good Stuff For One Film!!!

[10/10 · 22 December 2007]

Absolutely loved it! The perfect Batman film. Watched it 23 times and counting! As a ridiculously certifiable Batman fanatic, I got to say that I've never been happier about a film since Terminator 2 and Aliens. The story was so well put together by production that actually read the comics. Finally! I know a lot of people were upset about the fighting being too closely shot, making it hard to see what's going on. Hello, that's the point. We were supposed to be in as much darkness about this hero as the villains in the film. Well done. It was also very realistic and made me believe that this whole mythology of the dark knight is possible. Then to top it all off, we get a little nod to the greatest comic book villain of all time, The Joker. You just can't make one of these and I am truly happy for that. Can't wait for part 2!!

Illegal Tender (2007)

WOW... Well worth the wait!!

[10/10 · 22 December 2007]

I wanted to watch this film ever since I seen the trailer. I sometimes wait a while to catch the movies I want to see so I'll have some entertainment for the home screen and I gotta say that it was definitely worth the wait. Wanda De Jesus is just so damn sexy with a gun in each hand! Why anyone thought the acting was bad is completely beyond me. Wanda and the rest of the cast delivered really good dialog and realistic emotions as far as I am concerned. Rick Gonzalez has always been one of my favorite young actors, his character was so entertaining. Dania Ramirez... kudos! I wasn't happy with her past films, especially X-Men: The Last Stand, yet she does the damsel in distress role pretty good. Not all the characters can be tough as nails, come on! The story had me a little peeved due to the lack of info exchanged to between characters, but by the end it all comes together and makes sense. I say to put the red ink away and just be entertained by this one... you'll won't be disappointed.