maartenvankrimpen Reviews

Pora mroku (2008)

Nice try...

[4/10 · 5 January 2010]

During a short holiday in Poland, it was nice to see this little horror film on DVD. I never knew that Poland had a film-industry, let alone a horrorfilmindustry. So I liked it in the sense that this is quite unique in a way that almost nobody in Poland has done this before.

But the movie itself... not so good. I didn't really care about the fact that the film was full of clichés, what I really regret about it, that it's too soft. No nudity, no gore, and almost no really exciting scenes. The DVD-cover promises more than the film actually delivers.

I expected a sort of Hostel-type of film, with all the saws and the bloody doctors pictured on the DVD-cover. But sadly no... the one scene with a little bit of gore was so badly lit that it was barely visible.

Nice scenery though.

Swamp Zombies!!! (2005 Video)

I always liked the B-zombieflicks...

[3/10 · 12 October 2008]

I definitely think this kind of projects are the best ways for an aspiring filmmaker to learn the trick...actually I would like to see this type of films made in my own country. I'm also a fan of B-horror like Braindead or Killer Klowns from Outer Space. I rented Swamp Zombies!!! with the intend to just have a fun time and not expecting a masterpiece.

But even those expectations were too high. I don't say I could do this better, but this was one of the most boring films I've seen in quite a while. I really can appreciate the idea of a zombieflick with lots of gore, kung-fu and nudity in it. But except for the fun the director took on the nudity, 'Swamp Zombies!!!' just didn't work.

Let's be honest: two hours is just too long for a zombiemovie. Kungfu-scenes were overlong, lack of continuity and terrible acting made this film quite a boring ride, instead of the fun roller-coaster-ride I had hoped to see.

Complexx (2006)

Great fun, no pretensions

[7/10 · 27 August 2007]

A movie which made my day...great fun! A group of young people enter the last level of a new adventure game, and get stalked by an anonymous killer. There's no more plot or story lines, just this nice stalk'n slash horror movie. With a very effective openings sequence, some really nice cinematography and a couple of scenes which are really tense, but with no pretensions whatsoever. I wish Holland made more of this no-brainer pictures, I'm getting bored by all the serious arthousedramas. I'm not saying this film has no flaws (the actors won't win an Oscar for this and sometimes it's hard to hear what they're saying), but it's just fun to watch, and highly underrated.

Simon (2004)

One of the very best of the Dutch

[9/10 · 23 February 2006]

Yeah, I think we have a Dutch classic here. I saw this movie a couple of months ago, and I was very impressed. I still want to have this film on (double) DVD. On the forum, I read something about the Dutch being nationalistic for voting for this film really high. That has absolutely NOTHING to do with nationalism (like American people aren't nationalistic); it's just a great film. This film proves that euthanasia, cancer, AIDS can be só funny! And it's done in a really respectful manner: that's the great thing about 'Simon'. Loaded with beautifully cinematography, production-design and wonderful acting by especially Cees Geel. Too bad Americans are so conservative that they didn't nominate it for an Academy Award. Yes, this film contains a lots of bare breasts, gays, 'filthy' talk and all the other things I named above. But in sensitive way, and by far NOT vulgar or something. 'Hij zal je leven veranderen', (He will change your life) is the tag line of the movie. That's a bit too much, but fore those who are afraid to see films with subjects like these, 'Simon' is definitely worth a try.

Spetters (1980)

Brilliant

[8/10 · 25 July 2005]

I don't know why I like this film so much...I think there are so much element of the film which are just so dumb and silly, but at the same time, this is just a film that keeps spooking around in you're head and makes you want to see this film for the second time, and for the third time, and for the fourth time, and so on... The story is, I hope, familiar with all you guys who are reading this review, so I skip that part. It's just the sort of story I really would like to see more in Dutch films, and not in the way Johan Nijenhuis does it. A story with real emotions, and where people turn out really different than you think they are for real. Eef here for example, the homophobic who turns out to be gay himself. You don't see that kind of stuff in 'Volle Maan'. The things I really don't like about this is, most of all, the really childish humor in this film, like at the gas station where Eef asks a girl 'Shall I put that in?' (Zal ik m er even insteken). Lame, but I guess that was just 'cool' in that time. But I think this film is excellent just because of the raw manner of filming, with in general not brilliant acting performances, but just very touching.

Air Bud (1997)

A warm and pleasant film

[7/10 · 25 March 2005]

I like this movie, I really do. I saw this movie with my uncle for my birthday when I was 10, and I was so excited about this. And now, six years later, I still am.

Josh is an 11 year old boy who moves with his sister and his mum after his father died. He's lonely, and he doesn't make friends at his new school. Until he finds a dog, also lonely. The dog belongs to some sort of clown who mistreats him and isn't really nice to him, but the dog got lost and escaped from him. And then they, the boy and the dog, become friends. Josh is the 'waterboy' of the school's basketball-team, but that changes when he discovers that the dog, with the name Buddy, can play basketball.

There's nothing wrong with this film. It's a warm movie about a special friendship between two 'loners'. The story is not always really logical; it's never explained how the dog did find Josh back, but that isn't important. It's a kids movie, and children don't think about the logicalness of the movie.

The actors are all wonderful in this film. Wendy Makkena, the shy Maria Roberta in the Sister Act-films, the young Kevin Zegers, a sympathetic Bill Cobs in a cliché role, and most of all Michael Jeter. It's really a shame that he died, it was such a wonderful actor. And of course Buddy, with his wonderful trainer Kevin DiMaccio, also one of the writers and producers.

In this time of tragic, bloody and heavy cinema, people should enjoy this kind of films. Warm, light-hearted, and most of all: funny.

Costa! (2001)

Oh no, it wasn't that bad!!!

[7/10 · 11 January 2005]

Why are all people who are not a teenager so negative about this movie? This is a funny, soapy romantic comedy which is just fun to watch. I really liked this better than the stupid 'Volle Maan', which was way to serious. Georgina Verbaan plays Janet, a girl who is insecure and a bit dumb, but with a good heart. She goes with her sister and two of her sister's friends on a holiday to Spain. There she meets Rens, a runner from a local dance-club, the Costa!. He asks her if she could dance with them, because there's soon an important MTV-dance-contest which they have to win because of the free publicity. Okey, the acting is not brilliant and the storyline is not too deep, but what's the big deal? It's a movie with all the ingredients of a successful summer movie. You see Costa! at moments you don't want to think about anything, you just want to have a nice time. And Costa! really succeeds in that.

Peter Pan (2003)

Full of beautiful fantasy

[15 February 2004]

I just saw Peter Pan in cinema. It was a pre-premiere, but the disavantage was that it was in Dutch, because it is a children's movie. That's a bit of a shame, I'm very curious now for the original English voices.

Still, "Peter Pan" is a great movie, with lots of fun, action and fantasy for everyone. Wendy Darling goes to Neverland with the young Peter Pan and her to brothers. When she's there, she gets to do with Captain Hook and his pirates. There's also a small group of little boys, little helps from Peter Pan, who support him in his fight against Hook. Young Wendy falls in love with Peter Pan, and he likes her too, although he won't admit it, because he doesn't want to became older. In the mean time, Wendy's parents, who miss their children very much, leave the window open in case their children come back.

Peter Pan was really a great kids movie. Before seeing it, I thought it was just some boring children's movie with some life-lessons in it. I was wrong, way wrong. The 'life-lessons' were there, but not too much, luckily, there was load of action and adventure, the special effects were real great, and the (child) actors, especially Rachel Hurd-Wood, were at their best. The only thing that I missed was a bit more attention to the mermaids.

Taxi 2 (2000)

Much funnier than the first

[15 February 2004]

Taxi 2 is an action-comedy. No serious drama, interesting story or a Oscar-winning comedy. Just a ordinary, very funny comedy.

Samy Naceri and Frederic Diefenthal return when a Japanese minister comes to France for some kind of new defense strategy. Of course, that strategy has to be showed, and than it goes wrong. The Japanese minister is kidnapped and the police tries with the help of Samy Naceri to get him back.

The final of the film is a bit overdone, when almost a dozen police-cars hit each other near to the Eiffel tower. Absolutely not realistic, but that's not such a bad thing, isn't it? It's the result of a great car-chase before, and the things that happen then are so dumb but so funny; irresistible. The greatest moment of the movie is when Samy Naceri, Frederic Diefenthal, some Japanese girl and the military father of Samy Naceri's girlfriend jump out of a plane. And when they come down...great, great, great, great!

Taxi 2 is a real must-see. Typically French, but great fun.

The Ring (2002)

Scared to death

[14 August 2003]

I saw this movie yesterday on my vacation, with a lot of other kids, and most of the girls were screaming. And I can't say they weren't right. This film really kept me on the edge of my seat. Well, not that, it was just very, very frightening. I did see the original "Ringu" from Japan, but that movie was so 'eastern' with al those difficult Japanese names, and weird situations, different way of speaking (and I mean not the language, that's logical, but just some pretty vague and difficult use of words), so I could just understand pieces the story, not the hole story. For example: at "Ringu", I couldn't understand SPOILER!SPOILER!SPOILER! why the (dead)girl was walking out of the tv from Riko(Ringu)/Rachel(the Ring)'s ex-husband. At "the Ring" I did (okey, with some explanation from a adult). But although, it's better to see the original film first. Then you've got an idea, and you can the differences and similarities in the story. The story from "the Ring" was very different, but I do have the feeling that I understand the story better. The acting was great: Naomi Watts takes a revanche from "Down" and Martin Handerson has some funny scenes. Perfect.

De Chinese muur (2002)

Wonderful

[8/10 · 6 August 2003]

This was I think the best short movie that I've seen so far. I can't really remember the whole film, but what I do know is that it was a wonderful film. "De Chinese Muur" (The Chinese Wall) goes about a women in a Chinese restaurant, who's celebrating here birthday party on her own. She watches the people in the restaurant, and thinks, who they can be, why do the look like the way they do. She thinks about everyone. The women is kind of egocentric, but at the end

SPOILER!SPOILER!SPOILER!SPOILER!SPOILER! she sees that those people are not as weird as they look like. Or something like that, I can not exactly explain this correct in English.

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

Not for the guys

[3/10 · 3 August 2003]

Believe me, I'm a boy who really likes 'girlmovies' like "Bridget Jones's Diary", "What a Girl Wants" and "Where the Heart is", but this was just way too much. The three actresses are really good, especially Christina Applegate, but most of the scenes were just too silly to like it. It's all so pink, so happy, that you're very irritated after 30 minuts. The movie has its funny moments, that's for sure, but the story is too far-fetched and too silly to like this hole movie.

Signs (2002)

Frightening!

[6 July 2003]

This movie kept me on the edge of my seat in the cinema. That happends not many times, but íf it happends, like when I watched "Halloween", then I'm really frightend (sorry for my English sometimes). This movie has a sphere, that is undescribable. When the movie starts at the beginning, goosebumps come all over my body. The most scary scene was the most expected (but also un-expected) scene in the film, where you hear the newsreader say: "What you're now are about to see, can be disturbing." When I saw the trailer, I just thought that it was the crop-circles, but *SPOILER* it was that alien. I was scared to death!! Only the end was very un-Shyamalans, and it was too accidental (or something like that, but you know what I mean, I hope). But the rest of this film was great. Thank you, crew of "Signs", for this great movie!!

Johnny English (2003)

Funny!!!

[8/10 · 2 July 2003]

This movie is great!! Yes, I know it's silly, and predictable, but this is just a very funny movie. Rowan Atkinson is just a very talented comedian, and you can sometimes in Johnny English see a little from Mr. Bean and his character come back, but that gives the movie a little extra. I haven't laughed that much since "Rat Race". I was kind of afraid that it was going to be a very un-funny movie because of the bad critics on the Internet and in the (Dutch) newspapers, but there aren't just no not funny movies in this film. I laughed my longues (longen in Dutch) out at the scene were Johnny English is climbing in the tunnel at the island of John Malkovich's character, and then al the pee (I don't really know the exact English word for it, but in Dutch you can call it 'stront') comes over him. Terrible funny!! And the scene where the Priest of Canterbury's butt is shown, is very predictable, but just fun.

The Lift (1983)

For the second time: incredible!

[9/10 · 4 June 2003]

This movie is still one of the best Dutch movies ever made. It is exciting, scary, and it's got a small sense of humour. When I bought the DVD a couple of days ago, I heard at the Director's Commentary (Dick Maas) that the 'building-up'(I don't know what the English word for this is, but in Dutch is called 'opbouw') from the movie is 'copied' from "Jaws". In the beginning you see something terrible happen, and then you meet the maincharacter and his family, and then more accidents happen. The beginning is, like I said, terrible and typically Dutch, but Dick Maas said that it was to bring some humour and a little sex in the movie (because there was in the rest of the movie no place for it anymore), and that's, at my opinion, a good reason for this horrible sex-scene. One of the scariest moments in this film, is when Serge Henri Valcke stands in the lift, and blood is dripping on his jacket. Then he watch, and then the dead body of Michiel Kerbosch (who plays a cleaner) falls down. Although I knew what was going to happen, and the Director's Commentary was standing on, I was so much terrified. Really. And the most terrible but funny scene, was the deceptation ('onthoofding' in Dutch, cause I don't know if this the correct word for it) of Gerard Thoolen. Horrified! It was shot backwards, said Dick Maas. Dick Maas says the film is a little slow, and that he, at this moment, wanted to have a little more action it, but see the results: Down and Do not Disturb were terrible at the cinema. But this movie is fine like it is now, and I think that only Dutch people can love the movie like it's belonged to.

Joy Meal (2001)

Nice

[16 May 2003]

I saw this film on television. Well, I taped on VHS. This is the first short film that I've seen in my life and it was a nice experience. Joy Meal is very, very short, but it is worth it. It goes about two people in a fast-food restaurant who are flirting with each other.

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Great movie!

[7/10 · 2 May 2003]

Hey there everyone! I thought this film would be crap, but it was funny. Okey, the acting wasn't brilliant, and 'the shape' wasn't the same as in the first movie, but it was just a nice movie, nothing more and nothing less. Jamie Lee Curtis died in the first ten minutes. That's a shame, I think. But although: the scream-queen is finally kiled. At the beginning of the movie I just knew who was going to survive, and I was right! This movie is full of clichés, but that didn't really matter to me. 'Halloween'new version, 'Halloween'for the new generation. Easy, but very nice.

40 Days and 40 Nights (2002)

Terrible!

[4/10 · 21 April 2003]

This movie was, what I think, a huge mistake. Sex can be a very funny subject to make a movie about. This is proved by a lot of movies like "Road Trip" and "American Pie 1+2". But this movie goes about nothing. Everybody can't have sex for 40 Days and 40 Nights. Only this guy, a frustrated Josh Hartnett, can't. The only thing that you see the whole movie is a aroundrunning Josh Hartnett who is very desperate because he can't have sex anymore. Lozer.

Next Friday (2000)

One of the funniest movies I'v ever seen

[8/10 · 4 April 2003]

Yes, I do think this is a very funny movie. Although the critics are terribly bad, I like this movie. Before I saw this movie, I didn't see the first one. I didn't even know that there was a first movie. The story is kind of bad, the acting is also not very good (especially the guy who plays Roach), but it's so funny. The swearing, very exaggerated, is brilliant, and Jacob Vargas is at his best.

Geweldige film (Great movie in Dutch)!

Sam Sam (1994–2003)

Still very funny

[31 March 2003]

Although Sam Sam is not on television for a while (sorry, my English is good, but not perfect, so my sentences are a little different than they should be), I still am a great fan of the show. The replacements of Anne-Mieke Ruyten (Chris) and Elle van Rijn (Jo) are not much better than Ruyten and van Rijn, but they're very funny, especially Anneke as the blonde Nina. She's very sweet. It's good that Angelique de Bruijne was replaced by somebody else (I don't know her name), cause she was not a very good actress. The one in the new episodes is a bit better. John Jones does sometimes a bit overacting, but that's not so bad, it's (most of the time) funny.

Hannibal (2001)

Dark, funny, violent

[9/10 · 13 February 2003]

Hannibal was, what I think, a good sequel to Silence of the Lambs. The humour gives something to the movie that makes the movie different to the other 3 Hannibal-movies. Anthony Hopkins is brilliant as the genius cannibal. And I really loved Gary Oldman in this role, he's very creepy.

The Lift (1983)

Very Scary

[9/10 · 22 December 2002]

De Lift was for me, as a 14 year old boy, very scary. The music, the cast, and the special effects, it was terrifieng, but I loved it. But the first scene, when Liz Snooyink is having sex, is typical Dutch. Not nice. I mean, is the sex-scene needful for the story? No. Another thing that was not really good, was that Huub Stapel's character is getting in a divorce, because his wife thinks that he's sleeping with another women. Dick Maas (the director) doesn't show how it ends with his wife. But Holland can be proud of such a scary movie, that's for sure!!

Soul Assassin (2001)

One of the worst movies ever made in Holland!

[6 July 2002]

As my Summary said: one of the worst movies ever made in Holland. Before I rented the movie I´ve read some bad critics about this movie, but I have never thought that it was a so, almost disguisting, movie like this. I´m a 14 years old Dutch boy, and I was shamed by seeing this movie. The crew of this movie gives outsiders the thought that we are people who love sex, drugs and bicycles only. And that´s not true!! There´s a police chase in this movie with bicycles!! How horrible. Only Dick Maas can direct this kind of scenes, not a worse debutant like Laurence Malkin. The only things that I liked were some (guest-)performances from some Dutch celebrity´s, especially Georgina Verbaan as a newsreporter.

Rat Race (2001)

Great comedians!!!

[10/10 · 18 June 2002]

This movie is more than hilarious! You have to like this kind of humor, but for the people who like it it is a must-see. You can see all brilliant comedians, old and young, like Whoopi Goldberg en Lanai Chapman, Breckin Meyer en Amy Smart, Seth Green and Vince Vieluf, Kathy Najimy and Jon Lovitz, John Cleese, and of course Rowan Atkinson as a weird Italian with a sleepsickness (sorry, my English is not quite perfect yet, I'm 13 years old you see). John Cleese plays the famous casino-owner Donald Sinclair, who organise a race for six different people. In Silver City, New Mexico is a locker with two million dollars in it. The one who gets there first, wins the money. You have Enrico Pollini, a weird Italian guy, there is Vera Baker with here lost daughter, Jewish Randy Pear with his family, loyar Breckin Meyer with helicopterpilot Amy Smart, and two brothers, Seth Green and Vince Vieluf. The situations which a rises are brilliant, made by scriptwriter Andy Breckman and director Jerry Zucker. Not all stories are nice, Rowan Atkinson's story is even quite boring, but the great acting, hilarious comedy, en outrageous script makes this movie till a must-see for people who like screwball-comedy's as "the Cannonbal Run".

Show Me Love (1998)

Show Me Love, one of the best dramatic movies ever

[9/10 · 5 June 2002]

Great movie, and great actors. I especially love the ending, in the bathroom. Alexandra Dahlstrom and Rebecka Liljeberg have a great chemistry, and Erika Orslon and Stefan Horberg are great as the "bad guys". I have the movie on DVD and I watch the movie very often! Lukas Moodysson, you've made a great movie!