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10/10
This is my crack
7 July 2014
The other reviewer is saying that this documentary is for hard core Image fans only, and he might be right, because I am so massively pumped and inspired right now. This film for me was a shot of adrenaline and screaming pep talk. As a big fan of Image this is the comic book documentary that I've been waiting for. This documentary shows the original seven founders McFarlane, Liefeld, Larson, Lee, Silvestri, Valentino, and Portacio as rock stars making history. Starting with their skyrocketing launch in the early nineties to their downfall in the late nineties. Then back up with the early Twenty first century. There are many honest interviews with all of the founders as well as newer Image writers. If you love Todd McFarlane then watch this it's got plenty of his interviews in it as longer as all of the other founders. If you can't get enough of big spikes, big guns, bloody violence, backbreaking beautiful women, intense splash pages,and shoulder pads. Then this is your drug.
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5/10
Laughable, low budget karate
20 March 2011
Usually I start reviews with a plot summary, but it is not necessary. The title says it all. It's Japanese, but don't worry about having to keep up with the subtitles. None of the dialogue is worth reading. All of this movie is, is lousy fight scenes and training in between.

Now I could write about the acting, the directing or the production design etc. but I'm not, they are all lousy. Instead I'm going to write about the fighting, because when it comes to a movie like this, that is what is important. The fights are mildly entertaining. They are obviously fake. Very few of the attacks look painful. In a few shots it visible that the punch or kick doesn't make contact, yet the actor still acts like he is in intense pain. All of the fights are rather one sided and feature basic fighting moves. There is nothing amazing in this movie. No dangerous stunts or amazing attacks. Sure there are high kicks, but they are all replayed and disrupt the flow of the scenes.

Now I would like to touch on the camera work. I usual don't notice the camera work in movies, but it was terrible. There are jump cuts, shakiness and odd angle that make the fight scenes even more unpleasing. There also long pause to create drama, but only create yawns.

There is one good thing I can say and that is that the movie is inspirational for teenage girls interested in karate. The main character is someone that girls can relate to. She is also a good role model. At the beginning of the movie she is disobedient. Then over the course of the movie she learns to respect her teacher. It does teach some morals for teenage girls. It also show the amount of discipline need to learn karate.

Over all I give the movie a four out of ten and that is generous.
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Sharktopus (2010 TV Movie)
7/10
No wait don't criticize this movie it is suppose to suck
26 September 2010
This is not a horror or an action sci-fi movie. It is a comedy, but not your normal kind of comedy that you are used to seeing. There are no crazy characters or silly jokes. The real joke is in the acting, the directing, production design etc. Sharktopus was made to be terrible so the audience will laugh at how bad it is.

I don't understand why people take this movie seriously. With a title like sharktopus how could you? The plot is that a team of father and daughter marine biologists create a half shark, half octopus to use as a weapon for the navy. Then the remote control mechanism is knocked off and the Sharktopus goes on a killing rampage. Captian Jack (the creator of sharktopus) highers Andy Flynn, a Iraq war veteran, to capture the monster. But when Andy nearly gets killed and looses two of his friends he vows revenge.

There you have it. This is not suppose to be the next Jaws or even Deep Blue Sea. This is more along the lines of Maga Shark vs. Gaint Octopus. The director told the actors to be wooden and show very little emotion. The actors wheren't trying to win a Oscar, they wanted a Razzie. I just wish that actors would react to seeing the killings. When ever someone is eaten or torn apart in the movie who ever was witnessing it didn't react. They just stand there with a stupid look on their face. At least scream or try to help the victim. The production is minimal. The props appear to be objects the actors brought from home. The special effect are also bad with Sharktopus constantly changing size. In one scene he's big enough to eat VW Bug, in a later scene he is as big as a human. There are also scenes where the monster is walking out on land. Now I am not a marine biologist, but I am pretty sure that sharks or octopuses can't survive outside of water. Another thing that bothered me was that one of the characters who was named Nicole had some moral hang ups about her father altering the mind of Sharktopus. It is a genetically engineered monster, what does it matter if it mind is tampered with? If you watch this with a critic's state of mind you will hate this movie. In order to enjoy it loosen up and get a sense of humor.

Compared to Scy-Fy Channel's other original movies this is the best. Instead of being serious and trying scare the audience. Sharktopus is made to make you laugh. I rated this on level of how entertained I was while watching and gave it a 7 out of 10. Now if I where to rate it based on acting, directing, camera work, etc. Then I would give it a 2 out of 10.
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Nosebleed (2008)
7/10
one is the loneliest number
2 March 2010
Nosebleed is about a man who develops nose bleeds as a result of his loneliest.

I have not seen many short films but i feel this movie deserves a review. so forgive me if you don't agree with my thoughts on the film.

I thought it was nice art film. I wouldn't say good, but I wouldn't say bad. Just nice, but 100% art. If are not a fan of art don't see this film you will not like it. If you are a fan of art then you will love it. There is only one actor in the film and he gives a great performance. I could really understand his feelings of depression and loneliness. The director also did good job of conveying his story to the audience. This film is almost a silent film but little sounds through out the film are crucial to the film's experience. Over all it is a nice art film and I give it a seven out of ten.
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6/10
Watcher beware, Looks are deceiving
20 December 2009
An evil forest overran by Outlaws and Mechas. Who will rape and kill any poor soul who enters. But there is someone else in this forest. A spirit of vengeance, a warrior, and a Mecha to fight other mechas to bring justice to the innocents. They call her SAMURAI PRINCESS!!!

Now before you rush out and buy this movie remember to be cautious. This movie is not for everyone. It definitely is not for children. It is not for all anime fans, even though the plot makes for a great anime. It is not as cute and clean as most animes. It isnot for fans of Kun fu and action films. This film has a very narrow demographic. If you like Truma films like The Toxic Advenger or Class of Nuke'em High. Then this is the film for you. It is film with gory dismemberment and lewd humor. It is really a movie that you do not want other people to know that you watch.

The story is rather simply and barely develops. The duologue is wooden. the writer did not put much effort into the script. The acting and directing was terrible. The only thing that was worth watching was the fight scenes but even they where unsatisfactory. all it was showcasing special weapons, blood spraying and body parts being hacked off.

Over all I give the movie six out of ten stars. If you like this movie the check out Big Man Japan.
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End of the Line (II) (2007)
9/10
Nothing more than a great scare
1 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
End of the Line is one of the most scariest movies I seen in a while. It is about a group of young people who get trapped in the subway when the "apocalypse" hits. Which causes a religious cult to "save peoples' souls" by killing them.

It's a great movie, but at times I am sitting on the edge of set in fear, at other times I am yelling at the screen in disgust. Most of the acting is usual lacking and the directing is amateurist. They really need to take some classes or more experience. The production is cheap. The only thing that exceeds is the script. The movie is filled with unsettling images of rape, child murder and lots of blood. It's like the movie grabs you by the throat and strangles you.

Now i have a big problem with the ending. You may call this a spoiler but I don't think it is since the demons appear on the disc's cover and movie trailer. The Demons look terrible. They are so cheap and rubbery they almost look like CGI. They look more friendly then threatening. And really ruined the ending for me. The Ghouls on the other hand(people with no eyes or mouth) look great.

Other than the Demons the movie is a great scare that will keep you awake for hours.
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Special (2006)
10/10
The best movie I have ever seen
15 September 2009
I love this movie! Everyone should see it! The most underrated film ever! four stars! I laughed, I cried and in the end my life was changed! Okay enough with the ass kissing. Let me tell you what it's about. Les is a loser who likes to read comics. He volunteers for an experiment to take a new drug. The drug causes him to believe he has super powers and he becomes a superhero. But the drug company finds out about this and try to stop him.

I know this sounds like an off the way silly comedy, but is not. It is serous and has a lot of heart. Watching this movie you will find yourself caring about the characters. His pain will become your pain, he happiness will become your happiness. This is what every underdog story should be.

I'm surprised I wrote that since I am tired of underdog stories. But this movie really brings out the nobody becoming somebody and then facing an unstoppable force story.

The movie is directed and written by Hal Haberman and Jeremy Passmore who I hope to see more of in the coming years. They should have a bright future in movie making. Michael Rapaport gives a performance of a life time. I really didn't think he had it in him. I thought he was a crappy sitcom star that can't act but he proved me wrong. Michael rapaport is Oscar worthy.

The Production is very good considering the budget. There is not one shot in the movie that looks fake. The set design and locations fit well with the story.

In closing Special is great movie that you should watch.
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6/10
Blade Runner from Hell with genetic weaponry!!!
14 September 2009
A device is invented know as the transcoder. It can reform human DNA in order to cure a disease or to kill them. But it has fatal results for everyone who uses if except it's creator. The story centers around Michelle an assassin who is trying to maintain a stable life in a corrupt world, and her gambling brother Jackie who is in denial of his problems and thinks they can be quickly fixed. Solemn (the villain)wants the Transcoder for himself to save his wife and will use deadly force if need be. Not knowing what it is Jackie steals the Transcoder from Christian. Yada yada yada... The Transcode changes hands a couple of times. Then the plot gets a little confusing, but stays entertaining.

this movie is gem among those low budget straight to video sci-fi flicks. The acting is good and so is the directing. Although the cgi, production and camera work is the same as other straight to video films, i.e. ten years behind. The look is awesome and heavily influenced by H.R. Giger art. Many think it's suppose to be set in the future, but it is actual set in an alternate reality since there are no advances in technology except the DNA hacking. Bai Ling's out fits are unconventional and look great. She really kicks ass in this movie.

The plot is a little confusing and has a few plot holes. This movie is not for everyone. If you like techno punk futuristic waste land sci-fi movies then you will like this.

I give this film a 7 out of 10. The movie was entertaining by need work on the plot.

Get Your Body Beats, Let Your Blood Flow
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10/10
A lost Classic
22 September 2008
Masters of Menace is a great comedy about a motorcycle gang known as the the Road Masters, led by Buddy Wheeler. They are under probation to not leave the state. But have to when one of their members dies and needs a proper burial. They go on a road trip to Las Vagas with their lawyer Wollace Wolfby. Along the way the make friends and meet some old friends, but also make a enemy out of Riley Hoover who will stop at nothing to put the road masters in jail.

I grew up in a biker family so this movie a lot of sentimental value for me. I knew some people who are like the characters in the movie.

I think this movie is great and that everyone should see it. It is far funnier than any movie made in the last five years. Their are some great memorable quotes and characters.

There are some great scenes in this movie like when the gang stops at Billy Bob's buffet and are busted by the locale sheriff. Or when they drink widow cleaner and get advice from Smokey The Bear. There are also great cameo appearances from Jim Belushi and John Candy.

I've done some research on this film and found out that it was written by the actor who played Horny Hank. A year before this movie came out a movie name Wedding Band was made.It is directed and written by the same people and starring some of th same actors. So you may want to check that out to. I have not seen it.

Masters Of Menace is a movie you should not pass up. Buy it, watch it, tell your fiends, because it is a true classic that needs to be known.
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Monster Ark (2008 TV Movie)
4/10
Good old fashion monster madness
10 August 2008
The only reason why I tuned in to see this movie is that the monster looked really cool in the previews. As it turns out that is the only good thing about this movie.

The story is that college professor Nicholas and two of his students discovers a urn. They take the urn back to America and have Nicholas's ex-wife Ava open it. Inside they find the original book of Genesis. Ava decodes it and discover that Noah had made a second ark to banish demonic monster, but the ark crashed and sinked in Iraq. So just like that the team heads over to Iraq with no problem from the government. There they meet hard ass Iraqui Captian Backhar. Together they find this "Monster Ark" and open the cage holding the monster. The monster escapes and goes on a rampage. Captian Backhar fail to stop the monster with raw fire power. Team then figures out that they must get Noah's staff to stop the monster, but the offspring of Noah are protecting it and won't hand it over so easily. Nicholas now must learn to have faith in order to stop the monster.

The Monster was the only thing that kept me watching. The acting was below average. The director inserted a sub-plot between Nicholas and Ava about them not trusting each other. He also add moments to create chemistry between characters, but these fail. The chemistry seemed fake and the sub-plot wasn't though out well enough.

The special effects on the monster where good enough but still looked fake. The Monster design was awesome but the movement needed work. The flash back scenes of the ark where completely CGI and look like something out of a 90's video game.

If you are looking to see a good monster movie watch this but fast forward though all the talking and just watch the scenes with the monster.
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