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WillM02
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Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Nothing new....
A film like this, is a film which doesn't deserve an intensely critical review (like some of the others I've read) nor does it deserve an overwhelmingly positive one. I'm sure the cast and crew involved didn't start filming, believing they would be part of an inspirational, brilliant, award winning cinematic masterpiece. It was just for fun, and of course, carrying on the Myers legacy.
Now this movie is nothing new , nothing special, nothing "ground-breaking" It is just your typical slasher movie. This isn't the type of movie that demands for brilliant acting , directing etc, and for me, It was just an entertaining, fun film, with some thrills and kills and a concept that kept me interested as the standard slasher madness played out.
So as long as you don't expect a revolutionary horror film (Such as the 1978 original) then you can't go wrong with this movie for a bit of late night fun with friends.
6/10
The Tomb (2007)
One of the worst films ever made..
Wow. It's honestly difficult to find the words to describe this "thing" . I wouldn't even call it a movie to be honest, so I guess "thing" is more appropriate. The majority of it involves terrible actors, with an even worse director (Uli Lommel) , and seemingly, his team of monkeys, in creating what is an hour and 20 minutes of confusion and boredom.
However, I have to mentioned that can't review the whole thing because I turned it off after roughly an hour of constant face-palming and painful boredom.
The plot , even though I didn't quite understand what was going on, revolved around a deranged killer known as "The Puppet Master", as he traps his victims inside what looks like a grocery store and subjects them to his terrible wit, stupid laugh and "8 nails.. who fails" every 15 minutes. The characters (I can't remember their names, nor do I care) just walked/badly limped around the grocery store asking questions to others trapped inside, only to have each person die before the answer their questions was revealed. This happened about 5 times, before I ejected this disc, and proceeded to spit on/ set it on fire simultaneously.
Special mention has to go to those random segments of the Puppet Master riding a horse. Wow. It was so terrifying to witness. An awkward looking, black cloaked man with the a cheap mask riding in broad daylight. Gives me shivers.
It's also hard to describe the whole way "The Tomb" was filmed with just "Cheap and Boring". I have no problem with cheap film making, (Movies such as Blair Witch Project, were great because the low budget heightened the realism) But its almost like Uli Lommel is a high school student with some tomato sauce, bad costumes and camera he picked up from Walmart.
I wrote this review as more of a warning to stay away ! This one only cost $2, so I wasn't expecting brilliance, but I've come to the conclusion that you couldn't pay me to watch crap like "The Tomb"
If you want budget horror like this , try Bloody Murder (2003) its just as bad (Well, OK nothing can really be as bad as "The Tomb", but.. ) the only difference is Bloody Murder is unintentionally hilarious ! This was not funny at all.
1/10
Worst. Movie. Ever.
Bloody Murder (2000)
Terrible, but...
Bloody Hilarious!
This movie was terrible. The acting was appalling, the dialog was painful and the music was more suited to a soap-opera than a horror movie...
And now the plot. This plot is is very unoriginal, so much so that I'm surprised someone didn't get sued. Its just a blatant rip-off of the Friday the 13th series. When I rented this, I knew it wasn't going to be good, but this is a mess, and a rather funny one.
The killer, "Trevor Moorehouse" is probably the most least-frightening villain I have ever seen. In one particular scene Trevor frays a rope, which causes a grazed knee...WOW! INTENSE! I can't understand how this was given a "R" rating, It doesn't contain one remotely frightening or thrilling scene and there is no gore whatsoever. In fact, the opening scene was absolutely hilarious...I was in tears laughing. This could actually be one of the funniest movies I've ever seen, and its not a comedy.
Everything about this movie is laughable, so this is a must-see!
1/10 - The only thing stopping me from giving this a 10/10 is the fact that this is not supposed to be a comedy.
Halloween (2007)
A Bad Remake...
This remake of John Carpenter's horror classic is rubbish. I suppose that one must be a redneck to understand Zombie's "intelligent" film making and directing style. This film should have never been released.
Why must "The Shape" (Micheal Myers) - One of scariest villains of all time be transformed into a long haired metal head?. The attempt to re-invent the character was poorly done and is one of the outlining reasons why this remake is so bad. Rob Zombie had the opportunity to create a masterpiece of horror but instead this movie just feels like a cheap 70's exploitation film even though having a budget of $25 million dollars.
Now the cast, Tyler Mane, plodding around in a mask just isn't scary. When Nick Castle played "The Shape" it was scary, the way he moved was truly frightening. The rest of the cast performed well, though I wasn't a fan of the new Laurie Strode. I knew it wasn't going to be as good as the original but this was disappointing even by low expectations. Stay clear if you're a fan of the original.
3/10