Brett_Buck Reviews

Family Affair (1966–1971)

Sickly saccharine

[2/10 · 26 February 2023]

This show was very popular when I was a kid - but absolutely everyone I knew *despised it* with a passion. It was so sickly sweet and phony, the classic "cute kids" program.

For those watching today - no, the 60's weren't really like that, with deadly dull people doing deadly dull things, no real family operated like this one. Even the theme song was sappy, with French-sounding harpsichord music. We would hear that music and dive for the knob to change channels.

My parents hated it, too, this was the first TV program I heard him (mockingly - I think...) threaten to shoot the TV. Awful from start to finish.

America's Book of Secrets (2012–2021)

Another conspiracy nut show on History

[1/10 · 18 May 2014]

History Channel (and H2) once got a bad reputation for being the "All Nazi ALL The Time" or The Hitler Channel. They have overcome that, which at least was based on actual history, by veering into every ridiculous conspiracy theory currently running. UFOS (numerous shows), Bigfoot (at least 2 or maybe three), Knights Templar/Holy grail, and of course the evil government. America's Book Of Secrets falls into the latter category.

They wander around the edges of the real world. The kicker for me was a recent episode about **possible spoilers (sadly)** a supposed vast network of underground trains between military bases, and the topper, a secret passage for submarines from a lake in Nevada to the Pacific Ocean. This supposedly natural formation crosses at least 6 major faults (which are really not faults, I learn) and somehow manages to maintain near hydrostatic equilibrium despite the fact that the surface of the lake is **4000 feet** above sea level. If true, it would drain itself like a toilet, in about the same time!

Things like this don't seem to phase any of the deeply inquiring minds interviewed on the show. They drone on like Art Bell callers, mixing their strange delusions and perfect conviction. One is left with the impression that they genuinely believe what they are saying. That's either Sir Laurence Olivier-level acting, or they are frighteningly deluded.

In a way, of course, it's entertaining, but not in a good way.

Space: 1999: The Last Sunset (1976) Season 1, Episode 17

Most implausible episode EVER!

[3/10 · 11 July 2010]

Plot was as the other reviewers noted - aliens send probes to make a temporary atmosphere.

I understand that you have to suspend disbelief to buy into the idea that the moon can be blown out of orbit to relativistic speeds by a nuclear waste explosion, without turning various b-league British actors and Mission:Impossible refugees into "ham paste", and the moon to a plasma. OK, I got past that one. I even got managed to at least not entirely choke on the idea that, in another episode, they went through a "de-evolution" field that altered their DNA and turn them into cavemen - and also somehow managed to "devolve" their quasi-futuristic uniforms into *bearskins and loincloths*. But I am sorry, the idea that someone thought it was a good idea to build a moon base *with windows that can be opened* is a little too much for me. And all the inhabitants of the moon base thought to bring bikinis, beach balls, umbrellas - *to the moon*!?

On a positive note, the motivations of the aliens - that they did it to make sure that Barbara Bain and Martin Landau never came to their beautiful planet - are entirely understandable.

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (2007–2017)

Bad Conceptual Art

[1/10 · 26 February 2007]

This is more of a performance art piece than a TV show. Unfortunately, it's very bad performance art. Someone else mentioned it looks like a college cinema course project, which is pretty close to right. The sort of project that end up putting most cinema students into the fast-food industry. It's not even that it looks like editing-room scraps thrown together at random - most Chilly-Willy cartoons are like that, and those are pretty entertaining. This show is random, but also exceptionally tedious. I really can't even point to specific problems. There's just nothing there. I did smile briefly once in the three shows I have watched - but if the best thing in 48 minutes of show is a picture of cat defecating cardboard-cutout feces, what else needs be said?

I am sure this is going to go down the same ratings rat-hole as TGTTM, Saul of the Mole Men, Smoking Gun TV, and Assy McGee (which actually is quite a bit better than this piece of dreck - even though the Title sequence of Assy is by far the best part of the show).

Fish (1977–1978)

BAD IDEA!

[24 June 2003]

Barney Miller had it's good points - and Det. Fish was one of them. Abe Vigoda is the perfect downtrodden "Sad Sack". The popularity of the character led some network genius (of which there were many in the 70's) to decide to spin him off into his own series. And "Fish" was it.

Fish and his wife Bernice (Florence Stanley - the female equivalent of Vigoda) were quite plausible as a long-married couple. The kicker was that they had a houseful of adopted children - that looked like the Rainbow Coalition. They could have named it "Ethnic Mismatch Comedy #644". The kids were "intensely annoying". The worst of the bunch was "Victor" - his character made me want to punch my TV set. The plots were the standard "kids get in trouble but family warmth solves it all in 30 minutes" dreck. In short, the long-suffering Fish character turned into a knowing father figure. It was just too far a departure, typical idiot TV Exec thinking - take a popular character, try to mine his popularity but forget completely about why he was popular in the first place.

As far as I can tell, everybody seemed relatively plausible, but it was just such a bad idea it got deservedly cancelled after one season. It sure isn't the worst sitcom ever (Heck, it's *a lot better* than "My Big Fat Greek Life" - but then again, most things are) but it's definitely towards the bottom of the list.

Animal Precinct (2001– )

Surprisingly engaging, but not always for the squeamish

[28 January 2003]

This show is a documentary series that follows the New York City ASPCA enforcement officers around on their daily rounds. It's pretty much the doggie version of "Cops". The camera operators follow the officers around and film the action as they rescue animals from a remarkable array of abuse and neglect. They occasionally arrest someone, but for the most part they just take the animals out of harm's way.

I was surprised at how engaging this turned out to be. The things people do to animals are pretty disturbing. I don't know if I could tolerate this on a day-to-day basis, but they are all in there plugging. It's really very entertaining. There are obvious bad guys and they usually get what they deserve.

There are a few "stars". At times it seems like the "Annemarie Lucas Show". Cynic that I am, I imagine that the fact that she is blond and fairly attractive gets her more TV face time than her cohorts. But there is a reasonably full recurring cast (there are only something on the order of 20 officers for the entire city) so they all get their chances to shine.

This show, while is may on the surface sound like a great kids show, should really be reserved for early teens at the minimum. Some of the things that are shown would be very alarming for young children. I'm 41 and it bothers me to see some of this stuff; an 8-year-old would be traumatized. Everything usually works out, but that point would be lost on children.

Some of the injuries and diseases shown are nothing short of disgusting. Of course there probably a lot of editing going on and I suspect the most dramatic cases are the ones that make it to air. Disease, starvation, parasitic infestation - this show's got it all in living color. I suspect it's a good thing no one has invented "smell-o-vision" just yet. You'll quickly learn that dogs can really take a licking and keep on ticking, and that cats breed like rabbits and tend to have very poor dispositions!

There are relatively few episodes so far so you get to see a lot of repeats. But it's definitely worth watching. Animal Planet has several of these type of animal-based documantaries, and they are generally very well done.

Good Morning, Miami (2002–2004)

Some changes in the right direction, but it's too late...

[17 January 2003]

I was among the first on the "Good Morning, Miami" flambe' bandwagon. I have to admit, they have fixed the worst of the obvious problems. The Weather Nun (possibly the the most absurd and insulting character ever on network TV) is gone, both from nunning, and from the show. Same apparently with the bimbo cohost, neither with any significant explanation. As if we needed one.

Now, we have a goofy love triangle, which oddly enough, is an improvement. The girls are both cute. The actress playing Penny is actually pretty believable and appealing. She may have a future. The guy is- well, who cares.

But the show looks like they have given up completely - the set seems like it's somehow almost empty, like a locker room after the game is over. It's a completely different show than when they started. They are down to just the 5 principle actors, no attempt to fill the background with extras. It's more like a play. But it's still a bad play.

Will & Grace (1998–2020)

Guilty fun at first, but running out of gas quick.

[17 January 2003]

Early on, this was a sort of guilty pleasure and it was occasionally funny. But there's only so much Karen Walker and/or Jack McFarland a person can take. They were both surprising when they first appeared, but once the shock value wore off, they became very annoying.

The gay factor was a hook, and it worked well to get people to watch initially from curiosity. But at this point, it's just another source of cheesy sex gags and idiotic double-entendres'. "Will and Grace" is to homosexuality what "The Jeffersons" was to African-Americans. Yes, you are now represented on TV - sort of. I am neither gay nor black, but both insult my intelligence with the gross sterotyping.

I'm mildly surprised no one commented on the fact that this is an nearly one-for-one remake of "Ned and Stacey". This show had the same problem as "Will and Grace"- Thomas Hayden-Church was just too over the top for most people's taste. It was, in my opinion, a much funnier show but it failed fairly quickly because it didn't have the anything to exploit to get people to keep watching.

From Russia with Love (1963)

Most believable Bond movie

[17 January 2003]

I think this is by far the most plausible of the Bond movies. Unlike all of the recent movies which are simply gadget- and explosion-fests. From Russia with Love is a genuine, believable spy film. The only other one that I think comes close is "For Your Eyes Only", but that movie had none of the tension.

Some fans will find it a little slow. I would say tense and somewhat claustrophobic at times, a lot like it would be in real life. There are plenty of Bond "action movies" that stink despite of the breakneck pace.

Actually, the only thing that doesn't ring true *are* the few action sequences - particularly the scene with the "exploding gas drums". Somehow, the 4 drums that were on the boat multiply into 20-30 by the time they blow up. There are some continuity issues in the same scene, too. The helicopter explosion is clearly SFX-challenged by modern standards, as well, but this WAS 1963.

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law (2000–2007)

Must see TV

[6 November 2002]

This is my favorite 15 minutes of the week! Hapless, second-rate H-B superhero Birdman is now a hapless second-rate lawyer, defending various twisted former H-B stars like the cast of Jabberjaw and the now clearly homo-erotic Jonny Quest, etc. Race Bannon (well, sort of Race Bannon) suing Dr. Quest for custody of Jonny, Hadji, and Bandit after a, uh, lover's tiff? Hapless and hyper-paranoid former Birdman antagonist Dr. Reducto opining over the good old days ("Back when I was a kid, if a someone brandished a Shrink Ray, he'd get some respect!"), becoming smitten with a witness ("No one told me your feet would be so - tiny!"), and threatening everyone in the courtroom to "Back Off! I'll make you travel size!"?

Most people would be completely mystified as to why this would be funny. I thought about it for a while, and I think unless you had watched the old series' on which this show draws, you would have no idea whatsoever what the heck was going on. You pretty much have to be a male between 38-42 to truly appreciate it. That's a pretty small target audience.

Even if you do recognize the characters, it's so surreal that you will be amazed. Seeing a giant grab and the mechanical spider/eyeball monster testifying to Race Bannon's bond with the kids defies description.

One odd thing about this series is that the characters are much better defined than the originals. Back in the 60's, the writing was almost non-existent. Somebody must have written up one or two story outlines, and just randomly used them to generate every episode of Birdman, Space Ghost, The Herculoids, etc, by substituting characters. Could have done it with a computer. This show fairly well written and I think this is what ultimately makes it funny - these absurdly flat characters you remember have internal lives, and for some reason this makes it funny.

Birds of Prey (2002–2003)

Next time, try ripping off a show that *didn't* get cancelled!

[1 November 2002]

This show is a Dark Angel clone in most every major element, including the mistakes! The pseudo-Batman spin isn't much cover for the blatant "homage". The show isn't entirely terrible (although the first episode was downright painful), but the Schwarzenegger/"McBain" -style clever quip count is awfully high. Very large eye candy coefficient will probably keep it going for a while, but unless they start coming up with some substance, it's not gonna last. Just like Dark Angel!

Ned and Stacey (1995–2017)

One of my favorites!

[10/10 · 21 October 2002]

Ned and Stacey is the hetero version of "Will and Grace". Except it's actually funny. The premise is virtually identical, platonic co-habitation, the roles are virtually the same. Everything is played for laughs, no serious undercurrents, no position to take; just go for the joke. Neds self-absorption, Stacey's contempt for Ned, Amanda's contempt for humanity, Eric's sad-sack befuddlement, it all just works. They did an entire show about the down-on-his-luck Mr. Beveldere, for God's sake! Any real TV fan has to admire that.

I can only imagine that the show was killed only because Thomas Hayden Church was just too far over the top for most people. I thought he was great but everyone I talk to absolutely *hated* him. But slap in Eric McCormack (who is undoubtedly a better actor, just too understated to really be funny), slap on a gay aspect to get some press and make it look like a different show, and problem solved.

Good Morning, Miami (2002–2004)

Dreadful

[17 October 2002]

Terrible from start to finish. How many generic ensemble sitcoms can NBC come up with? Apparently, quite a few. Nothing remotely new; could be "Jessie" meets "Single Guy" for all I can tell.

Two characters stand out as particularly atrocious - the bimbo co-host and the Nun/weather girl. The bimbo is supposed to be Cuban, but I think a call to the Cuban-American anti-defamation league might be in order. She is such a crude stereotype that it boggles the mind it managed to get by Standards and Practices. They probably could have gotten a more subtle and less insulting performance, but I guess Charo wasn't available. The actress playing the nun, while probably a fine upstanding individual and swell gal, really needs to take up a new line of business (and maybe take a few writers with her). Fortunately, real nuns tend to be forgiving.

I can't imagine what Suzanne Pleshette is doing in this mess. Fortunately for everyone, I suspect it will be over with pretty quickly.

Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1971–1974)

Not the worst, but it's a contender

[15 September 2002]

The cartoon Sabrina was a not much of a cartoon even when it first came out. This was clearly another "Archie" product, in fact Sabrina started appearing in the "Archie" cartoons for a few weeks before Sabrina came out on her own. The standards in 1970-71 weren't real high, but we (my brother and I, Saturday Morning Cartoon aficionados of the highest order at 8 and 10 years old) always recognized the "Archie" cartoons as clearly second or third rate. It was clearly recognized as such, because after a short run on late Saturday mornings, it switched to the Sunday morning "filler" slot. Sabrina herself was OK, but the associated characters were pretty annoying. I can tell you that Aunt Zelda looks A LOT better in real life (AKA live action Sabrina) than on this cartoon!

The stories were typically witless, with no imagination and painfully loud and blatantly fake laugh track thoughtfully telling you which were the funny parts. There was no other way to tell! Quickly spun off were the "Groovy Ghoulies", an assortment of Munsters rejects related (in some undefined way) to Sabrina. This actually lasted longer than the Sabrina show itself. I guess they never bothered to look up the meaning of the word "ghoul".

Not the worst of it's era, but "Hot Wheels" was more entertaining, and "Scooby-Doo" looks like "Masterpiece Theater" in comparison.

Hot Wheels (1969– )

Possibly the first 30-minute toy commercial

[15 September 2002]

This may the among the first of a dubious trend - a 30-minute toy commercial masquerading as a Saturday morning cartoon. Hot Wheels was a wildly popular toy car line, spawning several imitators (like Johnny Lightning). As a product, it was quite enjoyable, and a high-quality product that now is among the mega-collectible boomer toys. And yes, my mom in fact DID throw out my "wheel" carrying case with all my cars in it! But I digress

Hard to say how the cartoon came about. Did someone say, "hey, my kids love Hot Wheels cars, let's make a cartoon vaguely related to Hot Wheels and cash in", or alternatively, "hey, I had this great idea - why not make a cartoon about our toy, and maybe we can sneak it into the Saturday morning line up, advertise our toy, and also get paid for doing it!"

The cartoon itself was the typical, generic, limited animation that looked like it cost about $150 an episode to produce. The plot was nominally about a race car club competing in some unspecified series, with some rival "bad guy" car club as a frequent antagonist. Rule #1 about cartoons - if it's about a race, it's gonna stink! This cartoon did not prove to be the exception, it stunk out loud. Nonetheless, it worked pretty well and it was relatively popular for a while. Whether it ever sold any more Hot Wheels cars is unclear.

I vaguely recall an airplane-related sister series, but it's been too many years.

TV Funhouse (2000–2001)

Pretty good until the shock wears off

[10 September 2002]

This show was funny for a while. But there's a real limit to how much of this sort of thing a sane person can watch. Some of the cartoons were excellent - I particularly liked "Fetal Scooby-Doo" and "Dennis the Menace" as a toxic anti-Semite - others were dumb. And some of the segments made even ME want to turn off the TV and read a book. Honestly, I could have lived a full and complete life never having seen an talking endangered lizard in bondage. It wore thin very quickly, which really should be much of a surprise, given it started as occasional skit on SNL.

I find it hard to believe that anyone would put this in the same league as "South Park", this was a real one-note shock show with no semblance of wit.

Knowhutimean? Hey Vern, It's My Family Album (1983 Video)

Scary Good, and also, just plain scary

[9/10 · 10 September 2002]

This video contains some pretty amazing skits. Some are amazingly funny, and some are so amazingly bad that it just makes you shake your head.

The most alarming of the skits is the Corporal Davy Worrell sketch. This is done so well it's downright scary. It's a magnum opus of schizophrenic behavior so real you have to wonder why he didn't wind up in the rubber room next to Jonathan Winters. The "Meanest Man in the World" segment has pretty decent acting. And the string of non-sequiter utterances during the Pops Worrell skit is one for the ages.

Others, in particular the "Billy Boogie" segment, are absolutely dreadful and embarrasing to watch. Trust me, this is why the "FF" button was invented. Even worse than the "Earnest" movies, if you can imagine such a thing.

The production values are pretty awful, but that doesn't really detract. I actually lived very near most of the locations in central Kentucky, like the repro Fort Boonesboro in the Davy Worrell segment. I ran model boats in the creek in the Pops skit, and I have seen the abandoned bus in which Queequeg lives. Talk about a brush with fame!

Mutant on the Bounty (1989)

Stupid, but not the good kind of stupid.

[1/10 · 10 September 2002]

There's bad, and there's bad. "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is bad but at least it's so consistently awful that it's entertaining in a slow-motion-train-wreck sort of way. "Mutant" is bad and exceptionally boring to boot. I've seen better writing and acting in old Ultraman episodes. Absolutely dreadful.

Pink Lady (1980)

Freddy Silverman, Programming Genius

[7 September 2002]

Ahh, for the halcyon days of Freddy Silverman! Supertrain, Sheriff Lobo, Hello Larry, and the nadir, Pink Lady and Jeff. I can't imagine why network executives have such a poor reputation for intelligence. I mean, who could have predicted that an obscure Japanese duet, appealing primarily to little girls carrying "Hello Kitty" lunchboxes, wouldn't be successful on American network TV? Oh, and by the way, they *don't speak English*. Sounds like a sure-fire hit to me.

I enjoy surrealism as much as the next guy, but seeing the girls mouthing the punch lines to jokes, and laughing on cue, was quite disturbing. And poor Jeff Altman, this was below even his dignity. At least they had Ernest.

Absolutely pathetic. A test pattern would have been more entertaining.