DutchECK Reviews

Series 7: The Contenders (2001)

Interesting questions in a surprisingly original format

[8/10 · 3 February 2007]

Okay, so maybe a 'what if' scenario regarding reality TV isn't exactly original. It's been done before, ad nauseum even. But while most films and books on this limit themselves to asking one question -'how far are we willing to let reality TV go?'- The Contenders adds another, equally interesting question: 'how much of reality TV is real?'

While most other reality TV spoofs are told as a story, The Contenders has all the look and feel of an actual show, including a logo, a voice-over, inane 'cliffhangers' and many 'we'll be right back' messages. Because of this, the audience is drawn into the film as if they were watching Survivor or Big Brother. You know it's not real, but you still wonder who will win the game and how things will play out. And in that lies the third question of the film: 'what is so attractive about reality TV?'

The Contenders may not have the most original of topics, but its format and the way it's played out does add more depth than the average reality TV spoof.

Romeo + Juliet (1996)

Nice try

[6/10 · 2 August 2006]

It's a nice idea: putting the original text of Romeo and Juliet into a modern, urbanised, setting. It will appeal to a much younger audience (making it instantly suitable for classroom use) and it will show the world that what Shakespeare wrote is still applicable to modern day. Unfortunately, it did not work out the way it should have. One of the fatal flaws was that the text was not followed as closely as I would have liked it. In fact, things were added that were hideously out of place and two important parts that should have been included have been omitted. However, it is virtually impossible to create an exciting film without playing with the text a little, so the writers have been forgiven as far as I'm concerned.

The one thing that I really cannot let pass is the combination the setting makes with the text. Keeping the original text with a modern setting has been done successfully in the past. The director here chose to make the setting and its characters over the top. The way the young Montagues and the young Capulets are portrayed may be clear, but it is also annoying to see that the Montagues are shown as surfer/stoners and the Capulets as Latino gangsters. This, combined with the setting, decors and acting makes for a film that is extremely over the top. This simply does not work with a text that is subtle, where most of the humour and entertainment is to be had from small quips and remarks, not from broad-sweeping statements and grandeur. Especially the love between Romeo and Juliet should be quiet, not playful as it is in this film.

Of course there are some good things about this film. In keeping with Shakespeare's love of subtle word jokes, this film has quite a few. There are several 'hidden' hints to other Shakespearean plays. Also, I liked the newscaster as opening chorus. This gave the film an air of modernity while still keeping the goal of the prologue, which is introducing the play. These things made for a two hours that were not completely awful.

I am somewhat of a purist when it comes to Shakespeare, although I do like it when people take freedoms with the text or the setting. However, Romeo + Juliet strayed too far from the nest.

King Lear (1999)

Cheap but competent

[6/10 · 17 December 2005]

There are many adaptations of King Lear for the silver screen or the TV screen. So a question one has to ask is: what makes this version so special? The answer is: nothing at all.

Even in the first scene, it is made clear that this was a very low-budget production. The entire look-and-feel of the film is cheap. The costumes look like they were rented from the local fun shop, the sets are slightly better than high school quality and the exteriors are too clearly computer-drawn. Luckily, the acting is not of that quality. I especially liked Neil (the Fool), Robertson (Kent) and Riddington (Edmund). For me, these three made the film work, despite its shortcomings in terms of setting and props.

King Lear is an incredibly powerful story. No wonder it has been adapted for mass-viewing numerous times. This version does not depend on expensive costumes and amazing special effects. Instead, the actors made sure there is enough to look at for three hours, which is the right amount of time for any of Shakespeare's plays.

Dreamcatcher (2003)

Very good

[8/10 · 26 November 2005]

Over two hours does Dreamcatcher run. There are two types of films that run for that long: the ones that make you wish they'd get on with it after an hour and the ones you're surprised to find they're over. Dreamcatcher is from the latter category. This story provides good entertainment for those two hours, without becoming boring or tedious for even one second. We do not get too much or too little of anything.

Of course, in an adaptation, some things will inevitably get lost. This one, however, stayed remarkably true to the book, something which cannot be said of all King adaptations.

No matter how good this adaptation is, the book is better, as always.

Extreme Measures (1996)

Very interesting thriller

[8/10 · 17 November 2005]

Extreme Measures poses one very interesting and highly valid question: How far would you go to advance medicine?

This question is explored in this nearly 150 minute long film. But despite its considerable length, Desperate Measures keeps the viewer interested. It doesn't exactly drag you in, but it will definitely keep you viewing for the full length.

Major points for Hugh Grant, who has seized the opportunity not to play the clumsy yet charming Englishman. And he does it well. With this film, he proves that he can do more than star in romantic comedies.

Extreme Measures is definitely a film worth to watch.

Species II (1998)

Even worse than the first one!

[2/10 · 12 November 2005]

What possessed me to watch this film, I still do not know, but I watched it nonetheless. I had seen Species and I thought it was extremely bad. I half hoped this couldn't get any worse. It could. The numbers were pulled out of someone's nose (for lack of a better body part) - I mean, reaching Mars 1 billion years ago? That has fabricated number written all over, one of the biggest no-no's if you want to use 'scientific' data. And it's not just the numbers, it's everything that smells of fabrication: the sets, the characters, the dialogues, everything! Every single bit just comes across as fake, which is the kiss of death of any film.

Sci-fi films can be really good. They can suck you in and not let you go until the credits are rolling. Species II doesn't do this. It doesn't attract, it repels.

Riding the Bullet (2004)

Very good

[8/10 · 1 October 2005]

One can look at this movie in two ways: as a movie on its own or as an adaptation from a Stephen King novel. If you look at Riding the Bullet as a stand-alone movie, it's nice. However, if you look at this movie as an adaptation, it's amazing. It has everything Stephen King wrote in his short story (published in Everything's Eventual - should you want to read it) and more. Every extra bit in the movie breathes Stephen King, his thought patterns, his sense of humour. Most adaptations are basically so bad, you wish you hadn't spent time on it. This one isn't. In fact, it might just be the second-best adaptation (after the mini series The Stand).

As a stand-alone movie: 8 As a book adaptation: 10+

Midnight Cowboy (1969)

Absolutely amazing

[10/10 · 16 September 2005]

Midnight Cowboy is absolutely amazing. Even though it's from 1969, it's main themes (starting a new life, finding your way in a new environment) are still current. Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffmann do a magnificent job in playing two of society's misfits; people the world doesn't really want.

Something I found rather surprising was that Midnight Cowboy deals with homosexuality quite a bit. It shows a number of gay people, all of whom have their own problems and views of life. The director does this in a way that we see the different issues someone, even today, might have with being gay. This unexpected subplot increased my enjoyment tremendously.

Midnight Cowboy has won an Oscar for Best Picture. And it deserved it.

Road to Perdition (2002)

Drags itself along

[3/10 · 10 September 2005]

Boring, dull, tedious. Three words that spring to mind when watching Road to Perdition. There is barely enough story for an hour and a half of film, but this was stretched to a full hour over that, causing it to drag itself along.

Another thing I didn't like it a personal dislike: stealing music. Road to Perdition contained music from American Beauty. I know it's widespread, but unless you are convinced the already existing piece fits the scene perfectly, you should have new music composed. In this film, the original score did not fit the new images, making it seem awkward and unfitting.

Road to Perdition: not one to watch.

Magnolia (1999)

Dreadful, mind-numbing tripe

[3/10 · 3 September 2005]

I thought I was going to see a really sensitive movie. The type that would make me cry and then lie in bed awake all night, thinking about the characters, their lives and how what I saw would reflect on my own life.

I was mistaken.

Instead of a touching movie, I got treated to one of the worst pieces of tripe I have seen in my life. This three-hour movie has dialogue about as exciting as watching paint dry. I got the feeling that no-one had any idea what they were doing after the second hour, but there was still some budget left, so they just kept on shooting.

Hate someone? Give them this movie on DVD for their birthday. They will get the hint and quickly disappear from your life.

Relax... It's Just Sex (1998)

An amazing film... has everything,

[9/10 · 22 July 2005]

Relax... It's Just Sex starts out as a comedy. The first twenty minutes are absolutely hilarious; the jokes are well-timed, the characters really seem to have chemistry and the there is a general light-heartedness about the film. This, however, changes after the first half hour. The jokes move to the background. Now it's about the people. Relax... turns into a touching drama with a lot of different topics: gay bashing, procreation, AIDS, finding love are a few that spring to mind. Everyone, gay, bi or straight, male or female will identify with at least one of the characters. It doesn't matter that some of the characters are slightly exaggerated. It's the problems they deal with and the way they deal with those problems what makes this truly a film to watch.

October Sky (1999)

Aim for the stars

[8/10 · 4 June 2005]

I loved October Sky. The thing I loved most had to be the music. It worked two ways: in the first hour of the film, it gives the viewer a time-frame. This is done by playing songs from the late Fifties. In the second hour, an instrumental score takes over. The music now fits the mood of the film perfectly.

I did not only enjoy the music, I also quite enjoyed the cast. Jake Gyllenhaal as Homer Hickam was especially a surprise for me. He gave off a first-class performance, as did Chris Owen (Quentin) and Chris Cooper (John Hickam).

I've seen this movie about escaping the life already laid out for you twice now, and both times I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The Lord of the Rings (1978)

Awful. Just awful.

[1/10 · 29 December 2004]

I cannot warn people enough from watching this movie. I don't say this often, but it's a real disaster area. Bakshi sadly did not bother to explain anything, so only people who have actually read the book will know what's going on. People who haven't will not get anything.

But even the hardcore Ringnuts who can dream the story are not served by this stinker. First of all, why is Boromir dressed like a Viking? I remembered him coming from the South, not the North. Also, Bakshi decided to change the name Saruman to Aruman, because he thought the former would look too much like Sauron and people would get confused. Only, Bakshi uses both Aruman and Saruman, which is ten times more confusing than the original name could ever be. But my biggest gripe has to be milking the giant cow. This acting term means using gestures that are inappropriately big. And Bakshi loves doing that! When Gandalf explains about the Ring, he uses gestures that would suit a clown, but not a wizard.

This one's a pure stinker, people. Seriously, watch at your own risk.

The Running Man (1987)

Not worth the title 'The Running Man'

[1/10 · 30 October 2004]

I am a big fan of Stephen King. I loved The Running Man. So obviously I was very excited that someone had made a film of it. And when a local network showed the film, I was in heaven. I was all ready for a night of fun!

The first indicator that something was wrong was when I noticed that someone had cast Arnold Schwarzenegger. I could simply not believe that a man who got famous for films filled with runnin' an' shootin' could play a more cunning part, as was described in the book. I still was convinced that this would be a good film, however. Who knows, maybe Arnold had some hidden talents?

Well, he didn't. I soon found out that the only reason he was even cast was because someone had re-written the entire story to MAKE it about fightin' an' shootin'. Yup, it was a standard Arnold-film: hero is done wrong, hero solves problems by flexing his mighty muscles and scaring everyone away and hero gets the girl.

I was stunned. This is NOT what the book said at all. I know that books can't be put on screen literally, but this didn't even have ties to the book. Stephen King should have openly denounced any affiliation with the film and he should have forbidden using the title The Running Man for this shameless waste of film. I don't say it often, but this film was BAD. If I weren't at home watching, I'd have tossed rotten tomatoes at the screen. Once again: bad.

(Note that I used 'someone' a lot. I did this because I'm sure a lot of people are ashamed to have worked on this and I don't want to embarrass them even further by naming them here)

13 Going on 30 (2004)

Big revisited, but is that a bad thing?

[7/10 · 30 August 2004]

In 1988, a 32-year-old actor named Tom Hanks played in a film about a boy who wishes to grow up and actually does. In one night. Of course this leads to complications and after an inspiring life journey he comes to the conclusion that it's okay to be a kid. In 2004, a 32-year-old actress named Jennifer Garner played in a film about a girl who desperately wishes to grow up and actually does. In one night. Of course she comes to the conclusion that it's okay to be kid. See the similarities?

OK, so 13 Going on 30 is extremely similar to Big (I won't say 'copied from'), but is that a bad thing? In my opinion, no. 13 Going on 30 has an air of lightness, where Big was a bit heavier of spirit. Okay, quite a few of the jokes are corny and I've rolled my eyes a couple of times, but I was prepared for that.

But that's not all. Jennifer Garner has shown that she can do more than play the strong woman (Alias) by portraying a scared, weirded out little girl in a woman's body. She succeeds in making the audience think it really is the little girl in that body.

13 Going on 30 is a nice little flick. It's light, funny and you won't step out disturbed, thoughtful or scared. Instead you will step out good-humoured and happy. It may be a little corny, but that's not really an issue.

On a side-note: Andy Serkis might never get rid of his role as Gollum in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Which is a shame, because he is also a great actor when he's NOT drawn over.

Albino Alligator (1996)

Nice little diddy

[7/10 · 19 July 2004]

Albino Alligator is a relatively short and cheap crime thriller. Still, it managed to hold my attention for its duration. The sets are simple and cheap, but they work. The film has a nice plot with a few good plot twists. I was unable to find something I didn't like about this film. However, I didn't find something I really liked either.

This film is ideal for a rainy evening when you have nothing better to do. It will certainly entertain you for an hour and a half and you will want to know what happens, but you won't stay awake at night thinking about this film. Albino Alligator is a film like there are so many: a nice little diddy, but quickly forgotten.

If this film is on and you don't have anything better to do, by all means watch. But don't rent this film. There are so many better films available.

Forrest Gump (1994)

Truly amazing

[9/10 · 19 July 2004]

A feather drifts softly through the air. It doesn't know where it's going or what will happen. It just knows that it is drifting to its next destination. That destination is a man waiting for a bus: Forrest Gump. Forrest picks up the feather and puts it in his favourite picture book. The movie has begun. We learn Forrest Gump's entire life story. Despite his IQ of 75, he achieves greatness in the world.

This may sound like the start of a sappy film, but it isn't. Forrest Gump grabs you and takes you on an incredible journey. Around every corner there is a new surprise. Some are comical, other extremely dramatical. But every minute of the film is interesting.

Tom Hanks did an outstanding job as Forrest Gump. The supporting cast were amazing as well, especially Gary Sinise. But this is not the best thing about the film: the story is. The story writers have managed to create a story of pure beauty.

Forrest Gump is an extremely fragile, beautiful film. I have seen this film five times now and it still makes me cry in the end. A truly amazing movie.

1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992)

Dry facts, derailed

[5/10 · 17 July 2004]

Christobar Columbus is perceived as a madman at the time of the Spanish Inquisition: he thinks that by sailing west it is possible to reach Asia. Of course now we know the result: he didn't find a new route to Asia, but he did find a route to a completely new continent. Christobar wanted to make the New World a paradise on Earth. Unfortunately, this went horribly wrong. Just like this film did.

The first two hours of the film give dry facts on the reasons for Columbus' trip and the discovery of the New World. The journey itself is shown only briefly, which is quite refreshing. This part of the film, lasting from the beginning until the Spanish started to fight amongst each other, is not exciting at all. We only get to know why Columbus wanted to go to Asia, but we learn virtually nothing of the character of the man or of any other character for that matter.

The second part of the film -the last thirty minutes- consists mostly of Colonists fighting each other. The biggest pitfall for this is that because everyone looks more or less alike, the audience can get confused easily. And I sure did. I lost track of who was fighting who and why. The film completely derailed.

Of course it wasn't all bad. Gerard Depardieu did a good job acting out as Columbus and the costumes and surroundings looked pretty nice and historically correct for a layman. The best about the film was its music.

This film is no gem. The total lack of character development and the derailing of the film near the end left me heavily disappointed. There's nothing left for me to say, except this: if you want to know about Christobar Columbus' journeys, it is better to pick up any history book than to watch this film. The timelines in there are more exciting.

Jesus (1999)

Ok... but not great

[11 April 2004]

The story of Jesus Christ has been made into films and miniseries dozens of times. We all know Jesus Christ Superstar and The Passion of the Christ left an impression as well. So why should this film be any different?

Well, it is different because this finally puts the personality of Jesus first, not the miracles he was supposed to perform. Granted, Jesus got his personality forced upon him (The image of Jesus pushing one of his disciples and then running away playfully is just too weird for me), but it is still a great idea. And while Jesus' personality was a bit too forced, Mary Magdalene had a beautiful well-rounded character, as did Mary. The disciples on the other hand were about as flat a character as could be.

A few other gripes of mine regarding this film: 1) The score for this film was -and I'm not exaggerating- bad. Music can make or break a film and while the music for 'Jesus' didn't break the film, it certainly didn't help either. The first couple of minutes are filled with every brass instrument one can think of. You'd think there's a great battle coming up. At other times the music is simply too loud; it rules over the images which are still the most important thing about a film. The music for this film felt a bit amateurish. 2) The director of this film probably assumed that everybody knows the story of Jesus Christ, because we only got to see a summary of Jesus' life. Reasons for actions were seldom given and some thing just looked strange if you weren't familiar with the life of Jesus Christ.

Jesus is a nice short film. It looks pretty good and I have nothing against the actors (I especially liked Debra Messing as Mary Magdalene). However, since the music doesn't fit the scenes and it is but a summary, I cannot say it is an amazing must-see. Still, it's a good film to watch.

An Officer and a Gentleman (1982)

Two thumbs down...

[2/10 · 24 April 2003]

An officer and a gentleman tries to combine two plots:

1) a good-for-nothing tries to make it in the navy and

2) A romance between two people from different social standards.

These are two genres that CAN mix, but director Taylor Hackford just didn't succeed. In two hours, he showed 13 weeks of military training, a developing romance and character building. As I said before, this can be done, but Hackford just scratched the surface with every plot. He just took too little time to really show the essence of each plot. Hackford skips entire weeks and that's what killed this movie. If he stuck with 1 story (the navy one would be the best if you ask me), he probably would have made a great movie. Trying to stuff the movie with plots is not the only mistake Hackford made. His choice of actors was another. Richard Gere wasn't really at his best here. He just overacted too obvious. The scene where Mayo said the famous line "I've got nowhere else to go" was clearly overacted. A couple of minutes before that, Mayo said "I ain't gonna quit". My stomach twisted when he said that, it was simply too overacted. So, what've we got: a bad story and a really bad male lead. OK, I can see you think "Where does that one star come from?" Well, there was one thing I did like about the film, which was the music. I simply love `Up where we belong'...