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hippyhalo22
Reviews
Allegoria (2022)
A mediocre turnout for spider one's first full length film
I feel like a lot of people are going to try to compare Spider One's directing/writing to Rob Zombie's directing/writing, but I don't think that's necessary. Allegoria is Spider One's first full length movie. Allegoria wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen, but it definitely wasn't great either. I managed to watch the entire thing, hoping that maybe it would get better. It didn't. The writing was pretty light on plot, horror, and excitement. I can imagine Spider One sitting at a table as he was writing this, thinking how every little tale was awesome and scary....but really, the stories didn't have much happening. At all. There were nice little ties between the stories with the characters, but that's about it. Really weak writing. Each story had a shred of horror to it, but barely. The ideas didn't feel fleshed out, the stories felt unfinished, and there was a severe lack of horror to the whole thing. The acting wasn't terrible, I didn't feel like anybody in particular did a bad job. The camera work was fine. The music felt a little trite, lots of intense piano key slams indicating you're supposed to feel terror or suspense. But I never felt terror or suspense. Overall, my biggest disappointment with the movie is that basically nothing happened throughout the whole movie. Just several short stories, one after the other, where some characters do some things and talk for 5-10 minutes, and then it's on to the next. Yawn.
Metamorphosis (2022)
Slow burn, a little boring
I'm not sure why this movie has such a high rating currently- almost a 9. While the movie wasn't absolutely terrible, it's certainly not worth that high of a rating. Definitely a slow burn movie, and not a typical horror film. I'd still call it horror, but drama-horror. The acting was decent, considering how little dialogue there is. I did find the film to be a bit boring, I had to fight against nodding off while watching. Honestly, not much happens until the end, and even then, it's minimal. The story is pretty minimal as well, and not very clear. Maybe that's the point? One of my biggest problems with the film is that I didn't care about either character- I cared a bit more for Alyssa than Hugh, but barely. He just comes across like a huge a-hole most of the time, and she just doesn't speak much in response to him. When the little bit of stuff that happens starts happening, I didn't really care. I don't think it's the actors' fault, but the writers didn't create characters that we feel any empathy towards. Wouldn't watch again.
Triggered (2020)
Terrible script, terrible acting
I'm normally pretty easy on movies. I don't mind movies that aren't great, and I usually think people rate movies too low just because they didn't like it. The current 5.something rating for this movie is too high. It was hard to sit through this movie. The plot could have been interesting, but it was thin. The acting is HORRIBLE. Truly horrible. Especially the actor who played kato. My god. Some of the worst acting I've ever seen. The dialogue is really poorly written as well (several super cringy lines "you're a left swipe on tinder! You're a femme fatale!") and the characters make really, really idiotic decisions. I only finished the movie because I mostly just wanted to see who ended up the last one standing. But honestly, I wasn't invested at all in who lived or died, it could have been any of them, because they are all terrible. I haven't written a film review in years and years, but I felt obligated to write one for this film so people can hopefully save their time and not watch this.