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Reviews
Constantine (2005)
I Liked This Movie
Reading the negative reviews here on IMDb, I wanted to say I liked the movie. Yes, it wasn't perfect. I thought there were too many characters and unexplained actions happening in the first 15 minutes, but that is what made the movie a mystery, and I like mysteries. Much of the fun was trying to figure out who everyone was and why they were doing the odd things they did. Reviewers who said they couldn't understand the plot, either you didn't try to understand it, or you REALLY didn't watch this movie at all, or you just aren't very smart.
Another thing I didn't care for, as another reviewer pointed out, was for a gay, weirdo, Italian Godfather-type Satan. As the lord of Hell, he didn't seem that scary, but he acted like a creepy old gay man who was trying to kiss Keanu, while running his hands up his legs, and leering at his crotch. Yes, a lot of gay men want to do this to Keanu, but I didn't like it. If I'm going to pay money to see a gay man make-out with Keanu, I would like it be romantic, not creepy.
For the reviewers who raved about the great job Stomare did as Satan, I felt the actress who played Satan in "The Passion" did a FAR BETTER job portraying the beautiful scariness of Lucifer. Lucifer means light, he shone with beauty but was full of evil wickedness. When Jesus is resurrected, we see his TRUE evil self as he howls and screams. Actually, the Balthazzar character, handsome and sexy on the outside, but completely evil inside, was a much better portrayal of Satan in this film than what they ended up with.
For all the reviewers who hate Keanu just because he is alive, I say, "Nobody wants to sit here wasting their time reading about how much HATE you have in your heart for him". It's too bad that most of you will be going to Hell, since your souls are consumed with such hatred for Keanu, there is NO way that you will be going to heaven. If you can't stand watching him, then why are you paying money to go see his films? The answer is, most of you are not telling the truth when you say you saw this movie. You wouldn't have paid money to see your anti-Christ, Mr. Reeves. If you had seen this film, you would have enjoyed it better.
The reviewers who said Rachel was the best thing in the movie, well, she was good. But she wasn't the best. The SFX was the best part of the film. The special effects were some of the best ever. (Although the bug demon was kinda weird.) The scenes of hell were great, the demons scary. I wish those scenes had gone on longer, but they were expensive, so they didn't. Heaven was beautiful, but we only saw it for couple of seconds at the end. The bullet-time glass at the end was great.
For the reviewers who said the film had humorous lines, intentional and unintentional, I agree with you. There was subtle humor, and some in-your-face humor. I laughed when Keanu hits Balthazzar with his specially made brass knuckles. I thought it was clever when they mass-produced Holy Water in the hospital's water system, a very unique way to SPRAY Holy Water on a crowd of demons.
For the comic purists who say the film is horrible because it doesn't match the comics in every detail: One, after 200 issues of comics, the movie would have been 3 years long. Two, make your own version, see if you could do any better. Yes, it would be nice if they were as faithful as LOTR, but that was a 10 hour trilogy, this wasn't. AND LOTR was not 100% faithful either. This movie was good in it's own way, and I liked it better being set in the hellish Los Angeles of smog-covered California, than the gay London of Europe. There is no way that Jude Law or another Brit could have done as good a performance in this film as Keanu did. PERIOD.
Yes, I own some of the early Hellblazer comics, up to #56. Stopped buying them when Prince Charles was possessed by a demon who ate his victims. They made Prince Charles a cannibal Jack The Ripper. Back in the early 1990's I found that offensive. Now that we have learned more about what the real Prince Charles is like, I don't think the comic was so off-the-mark as I did 13 years ago. When I was buying Hellblazer, they weren't Vertigo titles. I guess Vertigo came later. I was also buying early Sandman comics at that time also.
My conclusion: The film is for adults (no children under 15) with great special effects, an interesting mystery type story in a dark film-noir setting. Keanu is good, and sexy (he should have filmed the movie shirtless), the supporting actors were good. Stay after the credits to see a surprise ending, which leads to a sequel (like the Pirates OTC ending does).
Movie's Philosophy: There is a Hell, and Heaven, and God and Satan, demons and angels, whether you want to believe or not. There is a war going on for the souls of humans. If you wish to be redeemed and go to heaven, believing in God is not enough, you must be repentant, TRULY repenting your sinful life. You must be willing, like Jesus, to SACRIFICE yourself for others if necessary. Good eventually wins out over evil, though it may take a while. Sometimes good people die, but they go to Heaven, not Hell, as their ETERNAL reward. After we see Hell, we understand why humans would want to go to Heaven instead.
See this film for yourself, don't listen to Keanu-hating reviewers who probably didn't see the film anyway.
The Bigger the Better (1984)
The actors in this film will cause fainting or feverish perspiration, so be careful!!!
I was surprised the rating was only 8.1 by the voters, it should be rated a 10! This video is so hot, it will melt your VCR. (I don't know if it has been released on DVD yet.) What makes the movie so hot?? Well, Peter North (credited as Matt Ramsey) is a teacher in a school and his pupil, the huge gigantic Rick Donovan, is kept after school for being bad, but won't leave the teacher alone. Peter North wasn't quite as huge then, maybe he had penile surgery later on, but he and Rick are spectacularly SUPERHOT!! Peter shows why he is so famous by messing up a desktop with Rick inside. Then they repeat with a feverish hot time on the classroom floor. Peter (Matt) is confronted by another super-cute student from his class in the gym, and that student forces himself onto the very cute AND handsome Peter North. More things happen in the film, then the long hot finale is in the school's bathroom. The blond student is unbelievably turned on, and can't stop servicing all the other students who enter the room. The first man in the hole in the bathroom wall, is Peter North, though we never see his face. We easily recognize his body part and his famous copious prodigious explosion. After several more super-hot scenes, the video ends with a three-way in the bathroom.
This movie is so erotic and hot it has to be seen to be believed. Some people actually pass out while watching due to the SUPERHEAT generated by the super-handsome, and super-cute, and super-endowed cast members. Some of the men will make you swoon into fainting. This may have been Rick Donovan's first credited film, he looks very young. He might have been in an uncredited role in the El Paso Trucking Company video before this. This is one of Peter North's first roles, shortly after this film he began making straight porn films instead for the next 20 years or so. (I guess he had to cool off after this movie!)
Team America: World Police (2004)
Worth Ticket Price To See Hollywood Actors Heads Blown Off
Very funny in places, the musical numbers were sometimes very funny also. A lot of curse words, but they were funny also. The sex scene wasn't sexy, it was weird and oddly humorous also. The movie is rated R for nasty language and sex, and it is not for children!!!!!
Spoiler Alert: To see the liberal actors willing to kill for peace and swearing their allegiance to Kim Jong Il (who's a madman and mass murderer) was not only ironic and sadly oh so true, but was also humorous. The Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.) loves peace so much, they try to kill Team America, while Michael Moore hates America so much, he becomes a suicide bomber and blows up Mt. Rushmore and TA Headquarters!
It was fun to see Alec Baldwin, Helen Hunt, Matt Damon (who is so dumb he can only say his own name), Janeane Garafalo, Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, Samuel L Jackson, Sean Penn, et al killed and their brains splattered everywhere. Why did they leave out Ben Affleck, Streisand, Springsteen, Bon Jovi?? They have a song about how "Pearl Harbor: The Movie" sucks and Ben Affleck is the worst actor ever! It is so true!!!!
Other songs, "I'm So Ronery" by Kim Jong Il and "Team America: F--- Yeah!" which is the theme song. Another ironic plot of the movie, that Team America, fighting to save the world from terrorists, destroys Paris (YEAH!!!) and Egypt (Yea!). I really enjoyed watching the Eiffel Tower fall on the Arc de Triumphe!! And then the Louvre is blown to bits!
Pearl Harbor (2001)
One of the worst movies ever!
Terrible actors, terrible plot, worst acting maybe of all time!! The actors were all the worst. I bought the DVD for $5 at a close-out bin because they couldn't sell them. No Wonder!! I wish I hadn't thrown away $5 on this terrible movie. I know I am going to give away this stupid DVD for a Christmas present to someone I don't really like. To get rid of it!! Save your money and don't buy it or rent it.
It's a 3hr and 3 minute boring stupid waste of time. A really bad soap opera!!!!
A 1 out of 10.
PS the 15 minute Japanese attack scene on Pearl Harbor had good special effects just for that 15 minutes stretch of time. The rest of the movie is soap opera. The scenery in Hawaii at the beginning is pretty also.
Elf (2003)
One of the funniest movies ever!! Great Quotable Lines!
I saw this movie the day before Thanksgiving, and I couldn't stop laughing, it was one of the funniest movies I have ever seen! There are many numerous quotes in the movie that make you want to repeat them over and over, like when answering the phone, "Hello, this is Buddy, what's your favorite color??" and a 1000 others! I am looking forward to owning this DVD so I can memorize all the lines in the film! AND WHAT A GREAT CAST!
Philosophy: Get in the Christmas Spirit!! And laugh a lot!! Have Fun! And LOVE other people even if they don't deserve your love!!
SOME SPOILERS: The North Pole scenes were great, they were a tribute to all the old puppet animation Christmas movies of the past, like Burl Ives "Frosty the Snowman", and "Rudolph the Reindeer". It brought back fond memories. Buddy leaves the North Pole and goes to New York City, and meets the real world, which brings lots of laughs at both NYC and Buddy's fish-out-of-water experience. (He is like an alien just arrived on Earth who can't fit in, and it is funny! I know that experience first hand myself.)
He finds his real-life dad, who doesn't want a weird 30yr. old son showing up, but Buddy shows so much love, that eventually everyone who gets to know him, begins to love him. He is child-like, and gentle, and VERY LOVING to everyone, always thinks well of others, and puts other people first! If only everyone in the world were nice and sweet and thought of others first like Buddy! And he is FUNNY! He has strange habits he picked up at the North Pole living with Santa and the Elves, like eating only sugar, syrup, candy canes, and other sweets. It is hilarious watching him eat, and drink soda, and bake, and making paper snowflakes, and... well just everything he does is AMAZING and HILARIOUS! You have to see the movie to believe it!! GO SEE IT!
At the end, it becomes bittersweet, Buddy is misunderstood by his dad, and in a scene straight out of "It's A Wonderful Life", he goes to a bridge to jump, but instead of Clarence the angel showing up, Guess WHO?? Santa Claus flies right over the bridge and distracts Buddy the Elf. Santa and Buddy reunite, and give jaded New Yorkers the Christmas spirit, and Buddy's father and half-brother and step-mom bond and love one another. And I won't tell you what else!!!!!
The songs in the movie are great, the soundtrack was wonderful. Zooey (Buddy's girlfriend) has a beautiful voice, and her duets in the locker room and the closing credits I thought were the highlights of the film. Guess What?? The director of the movie, Jon Favreau, is in the film! Can you guess which part? Hint: He tests Buddy while Buddy eats cotton balls! The snowball fight scene was wonderful, putting the star on the Xmas tree was hilarious. Redecorating the room at Gimbel's was magical, and Buddy fighting the fake, smelly, Evil Bad Santa was GREAT!
I gave this film 10/10 because it was the funniest movie of 2003 (even funnier than "Finding Nemo" or "Pirates OTC", and because I just fell in love with the film and all it's characters! And the songs! And the Quotes! Standout actors: Zooey Deschanel, Mary Steenburgen, Ed Asner, Bob Newhart, little step-brother, and of course, Will Farrell. It is his best role by far! This movie grossed almost $200 million at the US box office, so a lot of people liked it. I saw it twice myself!
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Very Moving, Very Bloody, Made Me Cry, Definitely NOT for Kids
I found the movie moving, many people were sniffling and wiping their eyes watching it, just like I did. I felt very sorry for Jesus and what he had to go through. I was ashamed that there are so many evil and wicked people in the world who could do such evil deeds. The Romans in the film just ENJOYED their torturing WAY TOO MUCH!!!! THE ROMAN SOLDIERS WERE TRULY EVIL AND WICKED! (If you are one of those naive people who think everyone is wonderful and there is no evil in the world, THEN MAYBE THIS MOVIE WILL OPEN YOUR EYES!!)
The movie definitely should have been rated R. It is very violent and bloody!! (And this is an Understatement!!) The Flailing/Whipping scene made me cry. NO CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF THIRTEEN OR FOURTEEN SHOULD SEE THIS FILM IN MY OPINION! In the audience I was in, there were children (not a large number thank goodness!), and I was appalled that parents would bring 6 and 7 and 8 yrs. old kids to see this blood and carnage. I think those parents should be arrested for Child Abuse!!!!
There was no profanity or sex in the movie. I thought it seemed extremely accurate, except for Satan appearing every so often. Except for that, it looked like a very good documentary film to me. I felt like I was really there in Jerusalem in 30AD for that Passover week and the Cruxificion!! Satan was played by a woman, and she was AN EXTREMELY GOOD ACTRESS!!! She really made me scared and nervous everytime Satan was shown on the screen!! And the little demons were HORRIFYING! I definitely got the symbolism of the Anti-Virgin Mary & child when Satan was there at the scourging of Jesus holding his little demon child. If Satan had been in the film more, then this would have been one of the scariest movies ever!
Historical errors: No Greek on the sign on the Cross proclaiming Jesus the King of the Jews. No Greek being spoken at all. The Latin speakers and the Aramaic speakers could not understand each other back then. They spoke Greek as their second languages, to talk to each other. This is why the Gospels (and the entire New Testament) were written in Greek. NOT LATIN OR ARAMAIC OR HEBREW. (Like English is spoken today as a second language around much of the world, allowing people in the US, and India, and Vietnam, and Germany, and Israel, and Saudi Arabia, and Russia, to all be able to communicate with one another.)
The audience I was sitting with mostly clapped and cheered when the film ended, just like with "Finding Nemo" and "Lord Of The Rings 3". I would strongly recommend people see this film, BUT, take tissues to wipe your eyes, and be aware IT WILL BE VERY INTENSE TO WATCH!! If you are a Christian, then you will be MORE AWARE THAN EVER of the sacrifice Jesus made when he willingly went to his death. If you are not a Christian, then maybe you will better understand why Christians celebrate Palm Sunday and Easter and The Resurrection. And wear crosses and have paintings and churches with crosses in them.
Stuck on You (2003)
This Movie Is A Lot Better Than The Previews Show
First of all, for the people who are upset at the conjoined twins disabilities being the subject of a movie...if you want to get upset about a movie that makes fun of other people, who are abused, sad, down on their luck, and depressed... Then DON'T see "Bad Santa"! It is a million times more offensive to characters who really need help instead of being made fun of.
Second, I saw "Stuck On You" and it is very funny in places. My friend and I laughed out loud a lot, he laughed more than I did. It never makes fun of the conjoined twins really, just the people they have to deal with to get ahead in life. And their hometown accepts them and then loves them as they grow up dealing with their conjoinededness. It is an affirming movie and is positive about these handicapped characters and we root for them to get ahead and reach their goals. And it does have a happy ending featuring Meryl Streep and Cher. And Greg Kinnear singing!! I thought the ending was great!!
Spoiler: For the people who commented about how nowadays they can have surgery to fix their disability... The movie explains they can't have surgery because they share a liver, and if they go through with the surgery, Walt would likely die. And Bob (Matt Damon) loves his brother too much to take that chance. (He also is very afraid to live without his brother.) Near the end, they do have the surgery, and I won't tell you what happened, but it is VERY BITTERSWEET, it is happy, yet sad, and made some audience members teary-eyed. It is an emotional scene, and thought-provoking. If I was in their situation, would I have gone through with the surgery??
Funny moments: Cher!!! Cher's BOYFRIEND!!! Cher's BIG BEHIND!!! The fight scene in the bar between the brothers and the evil bullies!! The shower scene with the telephone. The cooking a dozen burgers in a couple of minutes scene. ALL of the sports scenes! The slimy creepy manager WAS REALLY FUNNY AND IRRITATING at the same time, but he wasn't evil, like Alec Baldwin is in "Cat N Hat". I really admire Cher for being in this movie (it recalls her "Mask" movie role somewhat.) And I loved Meryl Streep in this movie too!!! I think both Cher and Meryl Streep should get supporting actress nominations for their great roles! I thought Matt Damon AND Greg Kinnear both did great jobs. Matt Damon was very sympathetic as the shy half of the disabled duo. And Greg Kinnear was very dynamic, he dominated everyone else when he was in the scene. And he sings really good too. The soundtrack was also really great 70's songs that I enjoyed hearing very much!
Movie Philosophy: This movie is similar to "Kingpin" and "Dumb and Dumber", in that disabled people leave their safe homes, go on the road to a new place. They meet all kinds of new people they have to deal with and make new friends along the way. Friends who like and love them for their inner selves, and NOT what they look like on the outside. I really liked that message alot. (It is the total opposite of "Bad Santa", where a young, fat, retarded lonely boy with no parents and NO FRIENDS is made fun of and physically and mentally abused because of his outside appearance and disabilities he has no control over.)
The previews DON'T do this movie justice. They picked moments of the film that weren't the best parts. They should have shown Cher and Meryl Streep in the ads because they are so great! THIS MOVIE IS BETTER THAN THE PREVIEWS WOULD INDICATE. JUST LIKE "ELF" WAS!! This movie has the same happy, sentimental feel-good feel and ending that "Elf" and "Bruce Almighty" and "Finding Nemo" had. (3 of the BEST movies of the year.) It was an EXCELLENT movie and I highly recommend it to everyone! 10/10
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
WOW!! Unbelievable! 10/10 BUT VERY SCARY IN PLACES!!
When I left the theater today, I felt the same emotions that I felt when I saw "Star Wars" opening weekend back in 1977. Unbelievable! Magnificent! Mind-Boggling! WOW!!! In fact, I said the word "WOW" out loud maybe 10 different times while watching! My previous favorite movies this year, "Finding Nemo" and "Pirates of the Caribbean", although still great favorites, are not as good, in my opinion, as the masterpiece epic "LOTR3" was.
The audience reaction to the movie was very interesting. The audience clapped and cheered numerous throughout the film, just like with the original "Star Wars" and very few other movies during the past 25 years. Several times people stood up and were yelling and shouting at the screen. The lady next to time began crying several times, one time she just lost it, and was crying hysterically. And I got worried sitting next to her. At the end of the film, I found that sometimes my eyes started leaking a little also, despite my best efforts to stifle such emotions. The audience was talking about how great the film was as they were leaving. And it was VERY SCARY IN NUMEROUS PLACES! Which made the audience jump out of their seats or hide under their coats!! (Me too! I was scared several times, the fight with the spider was INTENSELY NERVE-WRACKING. And the dragons flying overhead were CHILLING AND EXTREMELY FRIGHTENING. This is when the audience kept jumping out of their seats the most. There are several scenes where the evilness of Sauron's wicked army of minions is clearly shown to us, they are very scary scenes, and some of the wicked creatures are very horrific to look at. The fish scene with Gollum at the film's beginning is a real gross-out.
Parents, this film is too SCARY and INTENSE in my opinion, for children under age 9 or 10! If your young children have been brought up on a steady diet of horror/slasher movies, maybe they won't be as scared. But I doubt it! The scariness is most intense in the scenes were the SUSPENSE IS UNBEARABLE!! I won't say which scenes those are, but there are several. I DO NOT THINK parents should allow their kids to see this movie without accompanying them, and if necessary, holding their hands, or putting your arms around them when it is at it's most intenseness.
The most important aspect of the movie was it's EMOTIONAL IMPACT. This movie was an EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER right from the start, and it never let up for 3 hrs plus running time. I was gripping the armrests on my seat for almost the entire time. If only there had been some boring scenes to give us a chance to catch our breath, and let our nerves get over the latest fright, but I don't remember any places in the movie where you could relax! YOU MUST GO TO THE BATHROOM BEFORE THIS FILM STARTS, BECAUSE YOU WILL MISS A LOT OF PLOT AND EXCITEMENT, IF YOU LEAVE IT AT ANY TIME, except maybe the last ten minutes or so. Be sure to bring tissues, most of the audience sitting around me was crying or sobbing, or weeping through parts of the film. Women were crying more than the men it seemed like.
Can a movie win an Oscar for background scenery? It was probably the most magical backgrounds and beautiful locations EVER FILMED!! (HAS TO BE IN THE TOP 3 ANYWAY!) The battle scenes were UNBELIEVABLE! It was just amazing! There were references to some other films, especially the "Wizard of Oz", when the ringwraith meets his end. The movie was full of allegories, dripping and soaking in them, especially religious and historical ones. But unlike "The Matrix 2 & 3" you didn't feel like someone rubbed your face in them. In this movie, they were obvious, but in the background, readily noticeable, but never distracting from the screen action. If only "Matrix 2 & 3" could have been directed by Peter Jackson!! Speaking of direction, if there is any justice in this world, Peter Jackson would win every award this year for best director. The actors were all great, even the evil ones were fantastic! Standouts were Sean Astin, and Andy Serkis. Sean Astin's acting provided much of the rampant emotionalism in the theater audience. When he was angry, the audience got angry, when he cried, everyone around me seemed to also start crying. He would signal to the audience what they should be feeling, and the audience FELT IT! When Ian McKellan was on the screen, YOU JUST COULD NOT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF OF HIM. HE WAS MAGNETIC!! But everyone was just great! Every actor in this movie should be proud, most have probably been in the best movie they will ever make, and given the best performances they will ever give!!
As for the adaptation of the book, I read "LOTR" 30 years ago, so I don't remember the little details, but I thought Peter Jackson and any other writers WERE VERY FAITHFUL to the classic book. Far more than most other movies are. Especially "Cat In The Hat", where the movie was not at all what Dr. Seuss wrote or intended. I felt like J.R.R. Tolkien would be very proud of these filmed adaptations of his books. And I think his heirs should be proud of this film too. Watching it on a giant movie screen, the time just seemed to fly by, no one seemed to want to leave when the words came up on screen, "The End". I JUST DON'T SEE HOW THIS MOVIE COULD HAVE BEEN ANY BETTER, I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT AS PERFECT AS A MOVIE CAN GET!! (I know, I said that about "Finding Nemo" also!) I voted it a 10/10. I asked my friend who went with me, if he thought it was as good as the first 2 LOTR's. We both agreed, "LOTR3" was the rare sequel that was better than the original! We thought it was the best film of the trilogy. This movie, for people over the age of 10 maybe, was Definitely Worth the price of admission. (I saw it at the matinee price, not the evening price.) Take the time to see it, I am certain that you too, will be saying WOW!!
The Haunted Mansion (2003)
Good, But Not Great
I enjoyed this movie for the most part. NO SHOCKING SURPRISES, like in some other wicked evil movies released lately. This movie was not as good as "Pirates Of Caribbean", so you will be disappointed if you are expecting one of the best movies ever, like Pirates was. But it is a good family film, for ages above 5 or 6 anyway.
There are a couple of scary parts that might frighten young children. I was scared a little when the mummies were chasing Eddie and his daughter in the crypt for the key, and the spiders crawling all over the crypt door freaked me out a little! ALSO, when Terrence Stamp summoned Satan up from hell (I think that's who it was, it was a demon or devil made of fire), that part was also scary somewhat. (It looked like the EXACT same Satan as in the movie "Spawn", which was scarier and grosser than this movie was.)
In my opinion, Jennifer Tilly was the BEST! I really enjoyed seeing and hearing her as the Gypsy in the crystal ball. That was great SFX too! I thought Terrence Stamp was good as a really creepy butler, and sorta scary also. I thought Eddie Murphy was OK, a little annoying, maybe he was written that way. The butler in the film says he can't stand to listen to Eddie talk anymore, it is getting on his nerves, well... That is exactly how I was feeling too! Eddie was getting on my nerves a little. I thought the kids were cute, VERY REFRESHING, after watching the horrible movie "Cat N Hat", where the kids were obnoxious horrible brats! Their mom was beautiful, seemed so sweet, had such a beautiful smile, she was really a stunning woman. I believe her name was Marsha Thomason. She Definitely looked like a movie star. Wallace Shawn was funny too. The statues singing barbershop quartet were really great effects, I really enjoyed them. The ghosts looked good also.
If you have a family with kids, who don't have nightmares too easily, then I recommend this film. This was a good movie for teenagers too. If you buy "Pirates of Caribbean" DVD, you get a free matinee ticket to see this film, so you might like this better if you have a free ticket!!! I think Disney Studios should really consider turning this movie over to Jerry Bruckheimer Productions in a few years, and let them remake it. It would be interesting to see if he turns it into a Great Movie Classic, like "Pirates Of Caribbean" was!
Bad Santa (2003)
This movie made me sad and depressed.
This movie made me feel sad and depressed. They abuse a retarded boy and it isn't funny at all. This movie was made for mean people who laugh at the misery of others, who think the sicker and grosser it is, then it must be funny (it wasn't). People who liked it have no heart or sympathy for others. They were the bullies in school who picked on the kids who were different, nerdy, not popular, fat, gay, or ugly. That is why the boy in this movie is beaten up and teased and abused, and told how stupid and ugly he is, because he IS fat, ugly, and seems to be retarded. Of course, he has no friends or parents, and no one loves him, although Billy Bob Thornton does seem to pity him at the end of the film. I felt like crying for this poor abused little boy. Some Xmas movie! :(
Movie Philosophy: Gross out everyone, be really disgusting. Pick on lonely people and make fun of them (which is everyone in the movie pretty much, including Billy Bob Thornton's role). Show how people are wicked and evil and disgusting, and laugh at their misfortunes. Put it out for the Xmas Holidays, so anyone with a heart will feel sad and blue for Christmas. Spread the misery to everyone. Enjoy. :(
Timeline (2003)
This Movie Stinks!
Here is a short review: This is the worst AND most unbelievable AND unlikeable movie made this past year. I hated it. The writing is the worst, the plot is stupid, they left so many plot holes, AND it was just not believable AT ALL! There is no way I think Americans from 2003 go to France in 1373 and decide the help the French, when they can't speak their language. The French are held up as wonderful freedom fighters (HA! They won't help anyone in the world to win their freedom!), yet these Americans hate the English upon arriving, and immediately work to destroy the people with whom they can speak the language. It was a very very Politically Correct movie, so it had no story.
The actors were terrible, all of them. Not just Paul Walker, who at least is good as eye candy. I didn't know who to root for in this movie, because I hated all of the characters. They all sucked big time! I would have been happy if all the characters had died, so there hopefully wouldn't be a sequel. (WHICH I WON'T GO TO!)
The philosophy of this film is, make money quickly before word-of-mouth gets out, and everyone hears how bad it is! I don't think the other reviewers who say it is an interesting or good movie even saw this stinker!
I feel ripped off and I definitely wasted my time and money. I saw at least 30 movies this year that were better and where I had a better time. I gave this movie a 1/10, because for some reason IMDB doesn't let you give a ZERO rating, which is what this film deserved. THIS FILM HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES, DON'T GO SEE IT!!
Scary Movie 3 (2003)
Thought it was very funny, BUT...
I kept laughing all through the movie. So did the rest of the audience in the theater. Therefore, IT WAS FUNNY! The dead body in the casket scene was Over The Top!! Really funny!! The Michael Jackson scene was hilarious!! Queen Latifah was really funny! Spoofing Pamela Anderson/ Tommy Lee video at the beginning was funny. The bit about the Catholic priest babysitting the little boy was also funny. Thought the spoof of the Ring videotape was also very funny, when Queen Latifah went into the video and dragged out the woman & beat the stuffings out of her for being obnoxious in the weird Ring video. I liked the spoof of the Ring better than I liked the movie "The Ring", which I really disliked due to the child abuse of the little girl.
Some reviewers have gotten upset about the little boy being hit by a car several times, so I thought I would comment on this. 1st, it is very clear that when the boy gets hit in the movie, he is not hurt! Therefore, IT IS NOT REAL!!! In the movie "The Ring", when the little girl is killed and then thrown down the well to drown, it seems very real and horrifying. In Scary Movie 3, it is like the 3 Stooges hitting each other, very slapstick and non-threatening cartoon violence. 2ND, NO ONE SEEMS TO REALIZE THAT IT IS A SPOOF OF THE MOVIE "IDENTITY", which came out this past spring. That movie was a murder mystery slightly horror film, and twice someone in that movie died by being hit very realistically by a car at a high speed. ALSO, this same type of horrible death happened in "Final Destination 1 & 2". So Scary Movie 3 is spoofing all three of these movies. Those grumpy grouchy reviewers who gripe about this obviously didn't see these movies, so they have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER that the writer/director is making fun of these other horror movies. It would be nice if people go see a movie making fun of other movies, THAT THEY FIRST GO SEE THE MOVIES THAT ARE BEING MADE FUN OF!!! Then maybe they would appreciate the humor in the spoofing film!
The one real complaint I had was that I thought this movie should have been rated an R rating. The language was really gross and full of cursing, and I don't think anyone under the age of 15 should see this film. There were also sexual content and innuendo that I would not want my child to see if he was still under 15 or 16 years old. (He's 31 now, so I have no say about it now!!) :)
I saw some 4 and 5 and 6 year olds in the theater audience, and I think their parents should have been arrested for child abuse, this was not a Disney cartoon movie for 4 year olds!!! My God, parents, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU TAKE LITTLE CHILDREN TO THESE MOVIES???? AND THEN AMERICA WONDERS WHERE ALL THE PSYCHOS COME FROM WHO SHOW UP DERANGED AND CRAZY ON THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW!!! They had parents who were stupid and could care less about their children, who drag their kids to violent and vulgar and sexually perverse movies, that is where they come from. But this movie is very funny for adults, especially if they have seen the horror movies being spoofed previously. You will enjoy this movie better if you go see it at the cheaper matinee prices, not the full price in the evenings.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
IMHO, This Film Should Have Been Rated X, Not R
I'm writing this review to let parents know, this film is REALLY REALLY Super Gory and it would be irresponsible for parents to allow OR bring their children to this film. There were a couple of parents who brought young children to the theater when I saw it, and the kids were crying and screaming their heads off. They thought the film was real I believe, and acted like they were severely traumatized. The parents acted like they didn't care at all. To me, watching the parents of the young children was far scarier and more horrifying than the murders in the movie (which we of course, had been expecting). I felt like I was watching child abuse happening right in front of my eyes. Again parents, this film is not for young people, it should have been rated X.
Did I like the movie? Yes and no. The fight between Freddy & Jason was Great. A Classic but gory fight. I didn't care for the nude fake breasts so much (it's obvious that all the big breasts in the movie are all fake). The plot wasn't the best. It was hard to sympathize with the teens, because most of them were people I didn't like and couldn't care less about. I didn't find the movie scary at all. The first Alien film was far scarier and suspenseful!! The monster kept growing and changing and you never knew what to expect. In this movie, you knew exactly how Jason would kill everyone (slice them with a machete), and pretty much how Freddy would too (slice them with finger knives). No suspense until Freddy fights Jason. Then which one would win? That was the only suspense. BUT MAN, WAS IT GORY!!!!!! MORE BLOOD MAYBE THAN ANY OTHER FILM, altho Bad Boys 2 was very close in the Gore Dept and the Rivers of Blood dept. This movie was unnecessarily gory, but that was expected. But in my opinion, NO ONE UNDER 16 SHOULD GO SEE THIS MOVIE, AND THEIR PARENTS SHOULD NOT ALLOW THEM TO GO!!!!!!!!!!
Movie Philosophy: Can Freddy kill Jason, before Jason kills every teen in the movie first?? Can this movie outgore Bad Boys 2? Can this movie spill more blood than any other film made? Can Immortal Dream Killer Freddy defeat Unkillable Immortal Slasher Jason? How many more sequels will there now be?
As a victim of severe child abuse growing up, this film brought back some bad memories, but I knew what to expect going in to see it. I had seen the first Nightmare movie (with Johnny Depp) in theaters, and I had seen the first Halloween, and the first Jason, and the first Alien, and the first TX Chainsaw Massacre films, all in the theaters on the big screens, so I am used to these films by now. If you are an adult who likes to see teenagers die gruesome deaths with lots of blood, then you will like this movie. If you are a Vampire, then you SHOULD go see this film! If you are under sixteen, you should not see this gorefest on the big screen. If you are a sweet, innocent, naive human being who likes to see the best in everyone they meet, THEN THIS MOVIE IS DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU!!!! You will be sick by the closing credits.
Bad Boys II (2003)
FUNNY! NON-STOP ACTION! TONS OF GORE :(!
I kept laughing a lot, which was good, because there were some scenes that made me sorta sick to my stomach. When Martin Lawrence threw-up, I felt the same way!! I jumped out of my seat when the dead bodies were falling in the streets and the cars ran over them!! (And when the heads Fell Off!!!) And the dripping blood scene!! Was this an action film, a comedy movie, or a gory horror movie????
The action was almost non-stop! The car chase scenes were UNBELIEVABLE!!!! This has really been a good year for car chase movies, with "Matrix 2: Reloaded", "Cradle 2 The Grave", "Spy Kids 3D", "Terminator 3", "The Recruit", "The Italian Job", "Lara Croft 2", "LXG", and "2 Fast 2 Furious". Did I miss any?, there were so many this year! But the car chases in BB2 made the "Matrix 2" chases seem almost boring. The only comparably great ones were, I think, the ones in "Terminator 3" and "2 Fast 2 Furious". Gun shoots-outs everywhere you looked!!! So many dead bodies!! I enjoyed the dead Cubans in Cuba the most! Yea! Dead Commies! But.. so much blood!! A Vampire would LOVE this film!! (If you are a Vampire, then be sure to see it!)
The comedy was really hilarious! I especially liked the 15 yr. old boy trying to date the teen girl!, the heart-to-heart talk in the electronics store!, and the effect of ecxtasy on Martin Lawrence and his body part!!! The scene with police captain Joe Pantoliano having a fit in his office was really funny, AND THEN I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING WHEN HE WAS SCREAMING ABOUT ALL THE DEAD BODIES FROM THE MORGUE IN THE BANK LOBBY AND IN THE STREETS, AND THEN he asks Will Smith if he was into kidnapping too. It was just too funny!!
Movie Philosophy: Kill as many people as possible, as fast as possible, as funny as possible, while grossing out the audience AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! AND destroy 1 MILLION+ cars and trucks while you're at it! And an entire shantytown to boot!
If it hadn't been so gory, I would have given it a 10/10 for excitement and action and comedy! But I just gave it an 8/10 for grossing me out!
Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)
A Strange Horror Movie
I had not seen the first Jeepers Creepers film, so I went into this one with an open mind. So.... I'm not sure of what to think of this horror film.
SPOILERS MAYBE AHEAD:I could be wrong, but it seemed to me that this was the first gay horror film made, where the killer ignores the ugly, nerdy guys, and could care less about killing the girls, and only grabs and kills the cutest, sexiest, and most hunkiest guys instead (with the exception of the macho woman bus driver, and the old male coach.)
It is explained to us by a psychic girl that The Creeper kills those who are most afraid of him. (She doesn't explain why.) Well, the most muscular and handsomest guys must have been the most afraid, because that is who The Creeper killed or attacked. The Creeper licks the windows with his giant foot long tongue, and salivates, and drools, and points to the sexiest guys, and the girls sit back and say, "Well, guys, you are goners, because the Creeper can't be stopped or killed." I mean, sometimes the girls scream, but not like other horror films, not like they are afraid for their lives anyway. The scene where the guys get off the bus and relieve themselves, was totally unnecessary except to show us that the guys check each other's equipment out. (And it seems to draw The Creeper to the bus. Like he can smell the testosterone!)And only one character, Izzy the sports writer, is accused of being gay & berated by the other guys, but he never admits it OR denies it (like don't ask, don't tell sorta), but ALL the guys seem to keep looking at each other an awful lot, several times I felt I that when they were up in each other's faces yelling at one another, at any moment they were going to start kissing each other instead. I don't know, but I felt like the girls being on the bus were just keeping the boys from playing with one another somehow. It was hard to be frightened at the film, when I was wondering, are these scared guys gonna be getting it on with each other later? The only women killed was the lesbian VERY macho butch female bus driver, who was more manly than ALL the men. What was that supposed to mean? The only unattractive man killed that I saw was the older coach.
The dream sequence was puzzling, cute little boy Billy was finally shown, The Creeper had killed him evidently, since he had a head wound. It wasn't explained how the girl was suddenly psychic, or how dead teenagers could be sending messages from the beyond. Maybe their ghosts were hanging around the corn fields?
The scariest part of the movie was the first 7 minutes, when little Billy is taken in the cornfield, by what we think is the scarecrow (He is The Creeper). They fly off into the sky, and we are left wondering, did Billy get killed? After that, it is more of a mystery movie, not a horror flick. The mystery is why do the people seem so dumb? Why aren't they more scared? Why are the girls the big strong brave ones, and why are the guys the big sissy's? Why would they leave the bus? Why wouldn't they hack and chop up the wings hanging in the bus? Would a body really flop around for so long if it was headless, I mean, how long do headless bodies jump around? And why wasn't that scene scarier? What were the spider legs that came out of The Creeper's neck when it was attaching it's new handsome teen head? And where did the Creeper come from, why couldn't it be killed? Was it living, or a demon, or a zombie, or a primordial humanoid, or a space alien? What was it and why did it eat only humans, when cows are tastier and easier to catch? Why can a monster be gay? Was the director saying that gay people are actually monsters because they are gay? Usually monsters go for the weaker more feminine ones, why didn't The Creeper?
Philosophy of this movie was very puzzling. Maybe it was monsters can be gay too. Or was it gays are monsters? Or was it people are really stupid and dumb? If you want a scary movie, see the first Halloween, or first Nightmare on Elm Street, or the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or the scariest movie I think I ever saw, the first Alien!!!!! (A really scary horror/sci fi classic which will be released soon as a director's cut, with more scary scenes inserted.) The special effects were fairly good, better than The Medallion or The Tuxedo I thought. But there were a lot of movies this past year with a lot better sfx.
Was this movie worth seeing? IF you like puzzling movies with answers not easily found, so that when you leave the theater you are wondering, WHAT WAS THAT MOVIE I JUST SAW ABOUT?? then I would recommend this film. If you like to understand a movie, or be scared because you think it is a horror film, but you're not scared, then you probably shouldn't see this one. Rent Alien instead!
The Medallion (2003)
A Poorly Written Script, But Jackie C Is Fun To Watch
The last 2 Jackie Chan films I have seen (this film and "The Tuxedo") have had terribly bad, very poorly written scripts. Jackie, spend some money on a writing staff!!!!! Your movies are really hard to sit through when the plot is stupid!! However, Jackie is fun to watch as usual, although in this film, you can see the wires & the CGI, the fights scenes don't look natural in some places. The Tuxedo also sometimes had this problem. Some of the FX was good, and Jackie getting stabbed like a pincushion over and over was funny and interesting, especially in his butt. The Irish character Watson, was major UNFUNNY AND SUPER IRRITATING! The movie would have been better if his character hadn't been the stupidest man in Ireland (or INTERPOL!!!-When did Interpol start hiring TOTAL MORONS??) Jackie's love interest was interesting AND VERY PRETTY too. Julian Sands is the villain.
Philosophy: If this film had one, it was a stupid one.
Comparing this film to others: I thought it was slightly better than the Tuxedo. But that's not saying much, since that was a poor film. I thought Lara Croft TR2 was better, but Jackie is cuter & funnier than Anjolie, who's frowns most of the time. I liked LXG better also. But do yourself a favor: TAKE YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY & GO SEE 'FINDING NEMO' OR 'PIRATES OTC' OR 'TERMINATOR 3' AGAIN!!!! They are all more exciting, more fun, & more funny than this movie could ever hope to be. (Johnny Depp, Ellen DeGeneres, and Arnald Future Gov CA S. were all soooo much funnier than Jackie, but Jackie is funny.)
S.W.A.T. (2003)
This movie was terrible, one of the worst action movies ever!
The film was boring. It was SO PREDICTABLE!!! I knew who the betrayers would be halfway through the film. The plot was terrible, and it took about an hour for the film to get going, the character set-ups were too long and drawn out, AND I didn't care about them anyway. But worst of all, several of the characters (or maybe the actors instead) were extremely irritating and obnoxious!!! I wanted the police captain, played by Larry Poindexter?, to be shot by his fellow officers in a "friendly fire" incident, I couldn't stand him. If the movie had been true to life, he would have been the first killed somehow. I don't know if the actor is this irritating in real life, or if the director wanted him to be obnoxious, or if the writers wrote the script that way, but I wanted to get up and leave the movie to get away from having to watch his scenes. The villain, Olivier Martinez?, was the worst acting job for a villain this year. Again, he was so irritating, why didn't the other actors just shoot him when they met him, so we wouldn't have had to put up with his terrible accent and horrible acting. Yes, both of them were handsome and were maybe in the film as eye candy for the ladies, but they ruined this film. THIS WAS THE MOST IRRITATING MOVIE OF THIS YEAR!!!!!!
If you want to see great villains this year, see Hugo Weaving in "Matrix 2" or Kristanna Loken in "Terminator 3". (Both of them played villains with no emotions, and even then, they were better actors and better villains!!) Also see Geoffrey Rush as the evil pirate captain of "Pirates O T Caribbean" who was just FANTASTIC!!
Only "The Recruit" and "Phone Booth" (both starring Colin Farrell), were worse action movies this year. Go see "Pirates of Carribean" or "Cradle 2 To The Grave", or "Terminator 3", or "The Italian Job" or "Lord Of The Rings 2", or "XMen 2" for better action flicks. Even "Laura Croft 2" and "LXG" and "Bulletproof Monk" were more fun to watch!! I haven't seen "Gigli" or "Justin and Kelly", but I bet they weren't as aggravating to sit through as this terrible movie was!
This movie is a long drawn out boring TV episode. Don't pay more than $1 to see it at a dollar movie theater. Or you will feel ripped off like I felt. I enjoyed "Seabiscuit" and "Finding Nemo" much more than this film. Go see them instead, YOU'LL HAVE A LOT MORE FUN!!!
Seabiscuit (2003)
Another Great Movie From The Best Year For Movies!
I went to see Seabiscuit not expecting it too be that good. So I was very pleasantly surprised that it was as great as it was. It is definitely worth the price of admission to see it on a big theater screen. DO NOT WAIT TO SEE IT ON A TV SCREEN! You need the big screen to appreciate the beautiful cinematograpy, the beautiful rural sceneries, and the exciting horseraces that cry out for a giant screen to see the horses really up close; it is like you are riding on the very next horse over from Seabiscuit.
I have read the reviews by others here and agree with most of them. The actors were all very good, Tobey McGuire was better than I expected. Jeff Bridges WAS very Tucker-like, but this was good, it was his best film role in a while, better than the recent KPAX. The philosophy of the film was 1) You don't throw someone (or something in the horse's case) away just because they are bruised or broken. Don't give up on them. 2) It is bad for someone to lie & do bad things, but you give them at least ONE more chance to redeem themselves, especially when you see the potential they have inside them. 3) Just because a country is down and out, and things are going bad, DON'T give up on yourself or your fellow citizens, if you all get together and work as a team, complimenting your strengths with your teammates strengths, and be observant of what each team members strengths are, YOU WILL SUCCEED!! (This is what the four lead actors of the film did: 1) Tobey M. had a never-give-up attitude combined with a "I may be beaten, but I'm not destroyed attitude. 2)Jeff B. had a quiet fatherly figure, confident "I know we will win in the end if we stick to our plan & don't give up" attitude AND he felt like we must give others a second chance inner philosophy. 3)Chris C. had an "I see great potential in the downtrodden" attitude combined with "I know what I know, I know horses, and horseracing better than anyone". And 4) Seabiscuit's attitude was "I've been abused, mistreated, and people act like I'm not worth anything, BUT I'll show THEM" attitude. If they would only give him a chance, he would prove to everyone he was a winner! If only Others would see his potential & BELIEVE in him, HE WOULD SHOW THEM!! (Yes, I know, this sounds crazy, but the horse in this movie really did have this attitude!! You'll have to see the movie to believe it.)
When all four were combined, they were an unbeatable team in the horseracing world. A world I didn't think I would care about at all. So, I was SHOCKED when I found myself caring ALOT! I had not read the books or seen the documentaries that others had, so I did not have any preconceived notions that the film didn't live up to like some of the grumpier other reviewers on IMDB had. My opinion: The film was great! I didn't think it was PERFECT like "Finding Nemo" (which is perfection) or as exciting as "Pirates of Caribbean" or "Terminator 3" with their nonstop action AND humor, but I thought "Seabiscuit" definitely should be seen by everyone IN A THEATER WITH A GIANT SCREEN (this would be a wonderful IMAX movie I think).
Emotions: It was almost as emotional a movie for me as "Finding Nemo". I was never scared like in Nemo, but my heart was uplifted seeing those who are down, pull themselves up with the help of others who cared about their fellows creatures who were all put on this Earth by God, reaching their potentials and becoming winners and heroes. (This movie sorta reminded me of the inspirational film "Chariots of Fire"-which does not feature chariots with horses in it By The Way. I recommend that film to everyone also!) Also, I did have tears in my eyes I am ashamed to say, just like with the movie Nemo, when both horse and rider had their miraculous comebacks.
I gave this film a rating of 10 even though I should have only given it a 9, because it made me feel good. For all the reviewers who insist that this movie and the people associated with it win Oscars, I have bad news for you. I hate to tell you this, but Hollywood looks at box office before they give out nominations AND ESPECIALLY AWARD WINS! Any movie that grosses more than $100 million and is in the top 5 for the year, HAS LITTLE CHANCE OF BEING NOMINATED FOR THE GOOD AWARDS, AND NO CHANCE OF WINNING AN AWARD. The fact that the public likes it, means to Hollywood that it can't be that good. If you want to see "Seabiscuit" win an Oscar, then everyone would have to stop going to see the film now, before it reaches the top 5 & $100 million gross. But that would be foolish to do so, because this film deserves to be seen, IMHO. So don't be getting your hopes up that it will win lots of awards, OK?
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Not Perfect, But Entertaining
After reading the comments of others who say this movie was terrible, I have to disagree and encourage moviegoers to go see this film for themselves. I thought it had a lot of action, great special effects, and an interesting plot. (However you will have to suspend your sense of disbelief like you do with other Sci-Fi & Comic Book movies). It is like the Hulk movie, you have to accept that a man can become a green, raging, giant, monster when he loses his temper if you are going to enjoy it. If you can't accept that point, why are you going to see the Hulk movie? It is the same with this film, LXG, if you can't accept that Victorian characters from classic authors such as H.G. Wells, or Robert Louis Stevenson, or Jules Verne, or Bram Stoker, or Mark Twain or Arthur Conan Doyle, or Victor Hugo get together to save the world & use their unique powers to fight the world's greatest evil fictional character of the Victorian era, THEN WHY ARE YOU IN THE MOVIE THEATER WATCHING THIS FILM? Stay home & watch your reality TV instead!! (I find the people on Jerry Springer Show & the things they claim to have been doing in their sordid lives far more unbelievable than what the heroes & villains of LXG do.)
I found that this movie reminded me of the old 1960's TV show, "The Wild, Wild West", set in Europe instead of the American wild west. They use an unbelievable submarine to travel around in instead of an unbelievable railroad car. The Tom Sawyer character (who came to Europe from America to help defeat the villain) was very much like the Mr. West character on the show, but blond, younger, and cuter. He was a good shot, took charge, was full of non-stop energy, & a great fighter. (The actor who played him is also a Mr. West (Shane West). Coincidence?) You already know the other characters from your high school (or college) English Literature courses. Brief List: Allan Quatermain, Capt. Nemo (Jules Verne), Ishmael (Moby Dick), Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (Robert Louis Stevenson, but when he is terrorizing Paris at night, with the giant humps in his back, then he is the Hunchback of Notre Dame-Victor Hugo), Dorian Grey (The Picture of Dorian Grey), The Invisible Man (H.G. Wells), Bram Stoker's Dracula, etc. Just like the WWW old TV series, the evil villain in this movie is a mad, incredibly smart genius who invents futuristic weapons years ahead of their time (such as tanks, flame throwers, huge bombs on timers, etc.) Does this sound familiar to Wild Wild West viewers? Of course it is, it sounds just like Dr. Loveless! So for all the other reviewers who said it is crazy to have weapons in 1899 that didn't exist then, I guess they thought the Wild, Wild West TV show was crazy also. THIS IS SCI-FI FANTASY, IT REQUIRES A SUSPENSION OF REALITY TO APPRECIATE THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE ASPECT OF THE MOVIE!!! Just like to enjoy Star Trek or Star Wars or Stargate SG-1, you have to accept the writers alternate vision of reality to get into the story!!
Anyway, I didn't think the movie was perfect in a year of so many perfect and fantastic movies so far, but I thought it was entertaining for 2 hours, and interesting, and I was impressed by the special effects used. (I thought the Nautilus sub was REALLY NEAT!!) I also thought the Mr. Hyde character was more realistic & believable visually than the Hulk had been. (A lot of people reviewing that movie complained the Hulk wasn't realistic enough, they thought he looked like a silly CGI character and wasn't real enough, so Mr. Hyde in this movie should satisfy those people.) I enjoyed my free popcorn & eating my hot dog & drinking my large soft drink & thought it was 2 hrs. I spent escaping from reality enjoyably. Go see the movie at the afternoon matinee price, then you shouldn't be disappointed.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Another Perfect Movie In The Best Year For Movie Watching EVER!
Well, what can I say that everyone else hasn't already said about Pirates of the Caribbean (POTC)? Since Dec. 2002, one very good or great or FANTASTIC movie after another has been released. I have been watching movies in theaters now for about 40 years, and the quality of films this year has never been better overall in my opinion. I have seen 3 films that I thought were perfect, (I didn't think they could be improved at all), these were Finding Nemo, Terminator 3, and now POTC. Of course, the plot was great, incredibly entertaining, non-stop ACTION. Great special effects which were TOTALLY BELIEVABLE (if you can believe in undead skeleton pirates!). Fine acting (with Johnny Depp giving maybe the best acting performance of the year-it helped that he had such a great script & all those funny lines). The costumes, sets, ships all seemed so real, it was easy to believe we were REALLY back in the pirate age set in the Caribbean Sea. If this film is not nominated for an Academy Award, then there will be no justice (of course it WON'T, any movie that is popular & makes more than $10 million at the box office won't be considered ESPECIALLY if it is the best movie that year.)
I have seen every Johnny Depp film he has made I believe. I haven't always liked them, because some were too oddball or weird, but he has ALWAYS been interesting & fascinating in them. For those who are too young, (and he probably doesn't want to remember), his first hit film was "Nightmare On Elm Street 1", where he stood out among all the dead teenagers. About the same time, he became the star of a great TV show on a brand new FOX TV network, called "21 Jump Street". A great show which only lasted a few years I believe. He was great in "Cry-Baby", he was PERFECT in "Edward Scissorhands", he was great in "Benny & Joon", he was PERFECT in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" (the movie that started Leonardo DiCaprio's career as a star). In this film, Johnny Depp should have won an academy award for best actor (maybe for E.Scissorhands too.) In "Ed Wood", he & Bill Murray were FANTASTIC, in "Don Juan DeMarco" he was the only good thing about that movie. Same with "Legend Of Sleepy Hollow". In POTC, the rest of the cast is good, but Johnny Depp IS OUTSTANDING!!! If this movie doesn't win an Academy Award, then Johnny Depp DESERVES to win one! Disney/Bruckheimer announced a sequel already, I believe they said Johnny signed up for it. IF HE DIDN'T, then don't bother making a sequel. He is the reason I could have watched the movie for 6 hrs. instead of 2 & 1/2. He was that fascinating (with the help of the great script!) I hope to go back & see this film again, along with "Finding Nemo" & "Terminator 3" which were equally perfect also.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)
Ignore The Other Reviewers-I Thought This Movie Was GREAT!!
Don't pay any attention to the other negative comments being made about this movie, I thought it was hilarious!!! I kept laughing all through the movie, and I WASN'T ALONE, the theater I saw it in was packed with NO empty seats, AND EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING SO HARD AND LOUD, I couldn't always hear all the jokes being made. I laughed at least 25 times. I also enjoyed the messages the film made: 1) ONE PERSON CAN make a difference. (After seeing this movie, I believed I could make a difference in the world.) 2) A person who is honest and believes in the other people around them, can convince them to support & do the good or morally right thing they already know that they should do. 3) A person who is happy with themselves, AND BELIEVES IN THEMSELVES, will make others believe in them too. AND others will WANT to be with them also.
4)True Leaders, like Abe Lincoln, will always choose to do the morally right thing to do, even if powerful & rich people are against them. (Or like Pres. Bush 43 who freed the people of Iraq even though the evil leaders of the world were against him, and he stood up to them because giving the people of Iraq freedom from a monster like Saddam Hussein was the RIGHT THING TO DO, even if it wasn't popular!!) True Leaders will courageously stand up for their convictions AGAINST ALL ODDS!! 5) If you passionately believe in something enough (in this movie it was called Bruiser's Bill) and get enough people to believe in it, & march for it, then eventually the powers that be (in this movie it was Congress) will have to listen to you. In real life, this is how the organization MADD started, the founder of Mothers Against Drunk Driving had a dream, to change the laws to punish & imprison people who drove intoxicated & killed innocent people. She was morally right, she had incredible convictions, she convinced enough other people to march & petition to get the laws changed, so that Congress & state governors had to listen to her. Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) in the movie does the same type of thing, but the movie is hilarious & has a VERY happy ending!! 6)A corrupt, money-hungry congressperson (sound familiar?) CAN BE DEFEATED by honest, hard-working, sweet, nice, AND fashion-conscience people! So don't despair if you think all politicians are corrupt & wicked, because they can be defeated by the honest among us if we stand up together & say we AREN'T going to put up with their lies & dishonesty ANYMORE!!
This was an excellent movie with great moral lessons. Don't let a bunch of NEGATIVE, GROUCHY, BAD-TEMPERED reviewers (who probably didn't even see the movie anyway!!), keep you from going to see this! If you liked the first one, you'll REALLY like this second one.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
This Movie Was Perfect-Ignore ANY NEGATIVE Reviews!!!
This was probably the best movie ever made! Period. Maybe better than Finding Nemo, or The Lord Of The Rings movies. Definitely better than the Matrix movies. It was a 15 out of 10 rating-wise.
It had non-stop action for 2 hours. (No boring philosophy discussions for 20 minutes at a time to slow the movie down.) It was hilarious!! Lots of funny one-liners and sight gags, Arnold is getting better as a comedian. The Special Effects were unbelievable! The BEST EVER!!! The best vehicle chase scene in a year filled with movies full of chase scenes!! (The chase scenes in this movie were BETTER than the one in the Matrix 2 Reloaded, better than ones in 2 Fast 2 Furious, The Recruit, or even Cradle 2 The Grave. Or The Bourne Identity from last year.) The newest female terminatrix was the best ever, even Arnold (an emotionless robot) seemed to fear her, because she was undefeatable it seemed. (You'll have to see the movie to find out if she was ever defeated!!). The movie had lots of scary parts where we think the good guys will die, and the evil bitchy terminatrix will destroy everyone. (I loved how Arnold converted their car into a convertible topless car.)
So there you have it: Non-stop action, greatest FX ever, greatest vehicles chase scenes ever, funniest action film of all time, Arnold in his finest film role ever, perfect script, scary, EXCITING, a SURPRISE ENDING!!, great evil parts, and the ending was not totally happy, but it was sort of a downer, but still there was hope (for the world, and for another sequel too!) The most PERFECT movie ever made. But after watching this movie I am afraid of the internet!!!
I could not think of any way this movie could have been improved, EXCEPT if it had free admission!! I thought the most hilarious line was Arnold's "Talk to the hand!" You'll have to see the movie to understand why this line IS SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finding Nemo (2003)
Maybe The Best Movie Ever!!!
I thought it was better than Toy Story or Toy Story 2, and they were great. The animation was beautiful. The movie was like an emotional roller coaster. About every 10 minutes, the plot would cycle through scary, sad, then hilarious. Repeated over and over. I was scared several times, (this movie is too scary for children 5 or less I think). Then it would be sad, and I would cry a little (or get red-eyed), then while I had tears in my eyes, something hilarious would happen, and I would be laughing through the tears. I loved the happy ending, if only life could be happy endings also! The happy ending made me cry too. I think it was better than Bambi or Beauty and the Beast. Or the Lion King. I would like to see this movie about 10 more times (well, 5 anyway!!) It's philosophy is about Parenting, be sure to love your kids, you never know if something might separate you from them. And be nice to those with short-term memory loss, they are more helpful to have around than you might realize (like me!!) And give those who go to self-help groups (like AA) a chance to redeem themselves, because maybe they can change with your giving them a helping hand (or fin!)
Cradle 2 the Grave (2003)
2 Hrs. Of Non-Stop Exciting Action
Great action movie. Action started in the first minute and never stopped for the next 2 hrs. I was very surprised what a rush the movie was. DMX was very exciting! and Jet Li WOW! Everyone gave the best performance of their careers, including Tom Arnold, the comedy relief. By the way, don't leave when the credits start, they are the funniest part of the movie, and funnier than most of the stupid teen comedies that are being released today. I couldn't stop laughing all through the credits, none of the audience left until the credits had ended. I thought this was one of the best action movies ever made.
The Santa Clause 2 (2002)
I thought it was very funny, and the Elves were REALLY CUTE!
It was an entertaining and enjoyable movie. I laughed a lot. The elves were really cute and adorable, I wanted to adopt all of them and take them home with me. I saw it at the dollar-movie theater & it was definitely worth more than $1. If you want a funny, enjoyable, cute, movie the entire family can go see, even your young kids, then I highly recommend this film.