petecrimson00 Reviews

The Purge (I) (2013)

Had high hopes for this, I was let down. *SPOILERS*

[1/10 · 16 June 2013]

For starters I must say, I loved the idea for this movie and was expecting something like The Strangers, a psychological scarefest.. I was dead wrong.

As an avid movie watcher the one thing I hate the most is predictabilty, and that's all this movie is.

The dad, is a top salesman, conning others into buying security for the Purge, while having doubts on his own product. He has a spoiled, whiney daughter who he has recently "restricted" from seeing her 18 year old BF, an oddball for a son, and a good wife.

I won't give too much away, but the kid lets in the homeless guy like an idiot, and the girl's bf (who snuck in before lockdown) has to "talk to her father and is walking down the stairs as the homeless man is let in and he attempts to shoot the father and is shot.. and the cluster bomb begins. the parent's are given the choice to force the "swine" out or they die too. After a lot of wishy-washy opinions from the characters, "Oh lets wheel him out to save the kids" and it changes to "Oh Dad, you're a monster for trying to save us!"

Horribly predictable scares, every corner you turn there's somebody there, every time someone is facing 3+ armed men they are magically saved at the last minute, and after shooting like 4 people in a room the dad thinks oh, none of the evil murderers heard me, I'm just gunna wander out without looking and is stabbed.. He dies and it's all the kid's fault because he saved a homeless man.

The "bad guys" are barely even played up at all once they get in the house, and end up playing second-tier to the neighbors (who randomly decide they must save and then kill the family (makes sense right, kill all the bad guys only to "cleanse your soul" killing the family, what 20 people isn't enough?)

Best part is when the creepy neighbor gets her nose broken on a table, it had people laughing loud.

All in all, more laughs came from this than scares, as everyone was tearing it to shreds in the theater. I wouldn't watch this again, even for free.

The Great Gatsby (2013)

Not what I expected.. *spoiler*

[5/10 · 16 June 2013]

Don't get me wrong, I loved many elements of this movie, but I hated just about as many as well.

The one thing that frustrates me most about this movie is the music. There is literally maybe one song from the actually time-frame this is from in the entire film (and I'm nearly positive it was a remix). They play dubstep and hip hop over what sounds to be speakers. Now this wouldn't bother me except in the library scene at Gatsby's you can hear the bass through the walls like this music is actually playing there, not to mention it's the 1920's and there would never be bass bumping through a big ole' house anyways. This was an excuse to make money off of music artists as they seemed more interested in putting as much popular music as possible(and not even in a tasteful way), instead of keeping it even slightly realistic. They have to put some popular hip hop song in 30 second increments since the scenes they're intended for are extremely short. Short 30 second spurt of some rap song here, stops dead, change scene, a rap/dubstep song for 30 seconds, none of which ever fit the mood other than for the party scene.

Realism was a bit absent for a lot of this movie as no music from the era is played, the issue with the bass as stated above, and it was simply too flashy, the party scene in particular. The kind of lights and things going on are a movie watching realists nightmare. It literally is made to look like a nightclub, and its in the 20's.. And to top it all off, Gatsby' car apparently has the speed of a Ferrari and this is set in the 20's. Gatsby drives recklessly EVERYWHERE and no one seems to mind, not even the cop that pulls him over (more like just drives next to him). Gatsby and Tom also apparently felt it necessary to basically race to the hotel for whatever reason..

Now that that rant is done, I loved the actors chosen and how they performed. Leo was tailor-made to be Gatsby (except for them making him say old sport nearly every time he talks to someone), as was Daisy's actress. Myrtle wasn't as good as I expected having loved the actress playing her. Tom was excellent considering my former seeing him as a family man in Warrior. When it comes to how this was shot, other than the music and a lot of short scenes, it was well filmed, such elements as Dr. Eckelburg's eyes and the settings were amazing. The ending was perfect IMO to the book, and the way this was told (Nick being a drunk speaking to a therapist) was a very interesting way to do it.

Had it not been for the music and lack of realism this would easily get an 8 from me, but those two things just bring it down so much as they really don't fit the movie at all.

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (2007–2017)

utter trash

[1/10 · 11 June 2012]

I can honestly say I can deal with garbage humor, if it at least is funny! it seems like this show thinks they're so innovative by trying to make humor out of things that simply are not funny. Seriously, I have laughed harder at the people writing the reviews of this saying its genius than I ever will at this show. It's toilet humor, and it's not even funny toilet humor. Out of all the shows they could choose to put on, how this even is on the list amazes me. the "spinoff" with Steve Brule is just as bad, if not worse. Some seemingly mentally handicapped man saying stupid crap for 10 minutes. If you want an actually funny show, watch Loiter Squad. Not everything looks like it was filmed like a potato like with this show, and the humor makes sense. I would rather watch paint dry than this, and I'm not exaggerating. Horrible, 0/10

Loiter Squad (2012–2014)

not the greatest thing, but definitely not the worst

[8/10 · 11 June 2012]

This show does have some rather.. questionable moments, but with that said, shows filmed in similar format (ex. Tim & Eric) are done with much less taste in what others will actually find funny. Tim & Eric seems as if it's done purely because they think its funny, because i do not wanna meet who actually laughs at some of that stuff.. This show mixes in pranks on real people along with well filmed sketches, even implementing (kind of making fun of hilariously) such things as video blogging. I've only seen a few episodes, but it's actually funny, and i wish it came on before 3:30 AM for lord's sake, because there are definitely many worse shows that don't deserve a spot before them. worth a watch, 8/10

Spider (2002)

Honest Review

[7/10 · 19 January 2012]

Based on storyline, i would easily give this movie a 9 or 10. Really interesting plot (yes once you get past the "boring" elements) It took me a couple of rewound parts and quite a bit of thinking to get it completely, but nonetheless, rather interesting plot in my opinion. But here is where those of you that absolutely LOVED Fiennes' portrayal of Spider, may want to click away. I am getting increasingly annoyed with the fact people are saying this is his best film, or how riveting his performance was, when honestly, he did like.. nothing.. other than act bat**** crazy and say literally almost nothing and small stupid mumbles. I myself am no top tier actor, and honestly, could have done what he did easily (maybe the fact that I have bipolar may help). Altogether i repeat, loved the movie itself, just the love Fiennes is getting for playing such a damn simple role is driving me nuts. All in all, i say give it a watch if you can, just watch closely so you don't get lost. Cheers guys, please don't flame me for simply stating an opinion, if u disagree feel free to state why.