prmanalive Reviews

10.0 Earthquake (2014)

Almost so bad it's good. Almost.

[3/10 · 13 March 2024]

There are rare, wonderful movies that are so bad that they are completely enjoyable ("Megashark vs Giant Octopus" for example), and this one could have made it. There are a few laugh-out-loud moments, and some truly funny cliche dialogue, but ultimately it just trolls along, Special effects were (as expected) incredibly cheesy and poor. The acting overall wasn't that bad, which works against the so-bad-it's-good award. If they could have all just been more melodramatic and had worse timing. Baywatch guy David Cokachi aged pretty well since his beach days, so they probably should have found a reason for him to take his shirt off, but missed opportunity there, although we did get a poorly lit scene in a wife-beater, where he sacrifices himself to save the movie, er, I mean LA. Best moment: where the dog makes it! Probably the most likeable one in the movie (although even he/she? Looks embarrassed to be there in the final scene). I do wonder how many times some of those buildings in downtown have been destroyed. The US Bank/Library/First Interstate tower alone must be up to a dozen at this point, though the fires burning in it in this move are less believable than in the 1974 "Towering Inferno", which is sad even for a low budget flick 50 years later.

Saltburn (2023)

Beautiful cinematography, good acting, horrible people and vapid story.

[3/10 · 18 February 2024]

It will be rated higher because of the shock value, and because of the nude dance at the end. Otherwise, it's really vapid, shallow, derivative, and with almost no characters you could possibly care about.

The character we are supposed to like is the rich Saltburn college kid, but he turns out to be a shallow ass himself. It's depressing that you don't care when he dies. In fact, you don't really care when anybody in this film dies. There are all so hopelessly awful.

Hard to believe that a huge estate with countless greedy relatives wouldn't have anybody claiming title to the fortune when it's given to a sociopath kid. But you have to believe that, otherwise it kind of falls apart.

I know there are real people as the horrible ones depicted in this movie. Otherwise why would Orange Donnie have any fans?

So many better ways to spend your time.

Mary Poppins Returns (2018)

Better Than the Original

[8/10 · 17 January 2024]

I enjoyed this movie, and thought that it was enjoyable at most levels. Not a classic, but well acted, written, edited and the music was classically Disney (for better or worse). After reading all the trashing reviews about it I watched the original. I raised my rating of "Mary Poppins Returns" and lowered that of the original. The original was problematic, misogynistic, slow and dull, other than the energy brought by Julie Andrews. The remake was better paced, more energetic, and much more cheerful. Better for children and adults, both. My nostalgia for the original is there, to be sure, but I am older now, so I don't hope to return to the myopia of the past. In both versions I am not a fan of animation and "reality" combined, but you have to accept that this is the premise of each. I love Julie Andrews, but I think that Emily Blunt is splendid! Likewise, Dick Van Dyke was classic, despite the bad accent, but Lin Manuel Miranda exudes hopefulness, charm and energy that is always uplifting and enjoyable. I will probably not watch the original again, but will certainly revisit the newer.

Station to Station (2021)

Drudging and Sad

[2/10 · 10 January 2024]

Everybody in this entire film are full of drama and not able to act it out. The dialogue is plodding. They must have fired the editors to keep the budget low, because there is so much dead space you could collapse a black hole in it. I love gay friendly films, but this is viewer unfriendly. If I wanted to see something sad and depressing, I would just look in the mirror. I watched "High School Musical" today, and it was insipid and silly. Still, it was leagues beyond this tragic, self-absorbed, snooze fest. If you want to paint a sad picture of gay porn websites, you could probably do a documentary that would be better, and more worth watching.

3-Day Weekend (2008)

I thought I was watching in slow motion. . .

[1/10 · 17 July 2023]

I don't know how so many gay people make the arts wonderful, and then produce this kind of painfully bad drivel! HORRIBLE ACTING. . .smarmy and arrogant characters. EDITING? You could have cut about an hour off of this movie just by cutting out all the dead space. Andy why did everybody talk. . . So. .very. . .slowly? It would have been better as a porn. Otherwise, absolutely NO reason to watch. And then the writers try to make it deep and meaningful by bringing up important social subjects, and then.burying them under self-absorbed, heavy handed dialogue. At one point one character says to another, "I never heard you speak so passionately about this subject before." Really? Turtles race more passionately. To be fair, I didn't even watch the whole thing, as my cliche limit had been reached by about fifteen minutes. Maybe the worst gay themed film I have ever seen, and there have been some bad ones!

Star Trek: The Man Trap (1966) Season 1, Episode 1

Time Doesn't Wear Well

[3/10 · 22 June 2022]

Let's have a lot of horny men, and women in min-skirts, all acting pretty much like high school boys and girls. Yeah, that's the far future of science fiction. This episode is so cringe worthy it's sad.

Cats (2019)

Bad, but with a lot of good parts.

[4/10 · 30 April 2022]

Yes, atrocious on many levels. But, consider the material. The musical "Cats" is a sad disaster of a musical, which became insanely popular, albeit amongst the tourists.

I would have loved it if they lost all the costumes, and ALL THE GGI crap, for crap's sake! Just let the actors play the parts as themselves. No costumes. Just let us imagine! Maybe some dancing by those that can dance.

There were a few really good performances in this. Laurie Davidson was sweet and easy to believe, even in a ridiculous part.

Ian and Judi were great in Ian's stage piece. She should have refused to do all he BS toward the end, but ah, well. . .

Robbie Fairchild made any scene he was in worth watching. Great nuanced singing, giving us great line in the music. Easy to like and believe. Hope he has a great career!

The Duck Factory (1984)

Almost so bad it's good. . .

[3/10 · 9 October 2021]

This could be pretty entertaining if watched with the right group of hecklers. It is available on Amazon Prime Video with a reasonably funny commentary track. Too bad you can't adjust the reverb when they start singing!

Hollywood (2020)

Based on what?

[3/10 · 2 August 2021]

This was supposed to be based on the story of Scotty. Bower? Take away all the reality, and put in place the same old same old. Then you've got this vanilla version of history.

The Purge (I) (2013)

Soundtrack Hell

[1/10 · 2 July 2016]

Let's make the soundtrack to super irritating that we don't notice that the script is moronic, the acting wooden, the characters the kind of people you want to slap (not kill. . .we're not "purging" here). Social statement? No. Psychological thriller? No. Excuse to watch people kill other people? Probably. And THAT is what we should be most concerned about as social commentary here. I watched American Psycho the first time and hated it, until I realized it was brilliant social satire and commentary. I watched The Purge and realized that people will make a movie if it makes money, and rejoice that having terrible scripts, terrible acting and terrible moral lessons is perfectly good enough to get a few sequels made and make more money. Moreover, the white privilege notion that other races won't come in and kill the white idiots hanging out on the other white idiots' lawn is really idiotic. Also, why didn't Mr defense system contract guy equip his house with enough explosives and guns, etc. to wipe out his other stupid white neighbors really lends credence to white DE-supremacy. White people really must be the most stupid. And I'm white.

Alexander (2004)

Too much A-C-T-I_N-G

[1/10 · 22 October 2005]

God, who wrote the screenplay? Who edited this? Who wrote the DUH-ramatic score? Thousands of extras, and epic battles doesn't equal a story. I think that this might actually be worse than "Troy", which I thought would be hard to do.

I think that they did a better job on "Caligula". This is porn without the payoff. Spectacle without the spectacular. It's really modern L.A. redoing itself in another historic disguise. Does this make me think? No, because nobody was THINKING when they made this, other than of money and fame.

Sad. So many good actors and directors out there. We are fated to deal with superstars and their screaming fans.

America is at its shallowest ever.

Too bad.

The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

Visually pleasing, aurally grating, dramatically plodding

[3/10 · 2 June 2005]

After the energy and pacing of many stage shows, the casting and editing people must have been held hostage beneath the opera house for this one. The vocals dissolved into insipid melodramas, and the pacing was slower than a horse bound for the glue factory. Unbelievable that after nearly 20 years this was all the better they could do. Would have been pretty good as a silent movie, given the lush staging, and beautiful costumes. Maybe they can overdub the original Sarah Brightman and Michael Crawford in future DVD versions. This is a great example of something that takes itself too seriously, and thinks that its own love of itself will take everyone else in. No doubt it will take enough folks in to be commercially successful, but too bad that we are all robbed of what could have been.

Phantom of the Paradise (1974)

Acid trip meets The Mike Douglas Show

[9/10 · 2 October 2002]

I can't believe that I had never seen this movie in the 70's, or even until this last year (2002). It was the middle of the night, and on AMC, of all things, but I immediately flipped over it. It's one of those few movies that are truly "so bad that they're good"--and I think that they knew that when they were making it.

I think that it would be unreal to watch tripping on something, but since I'm clean and sober, I only imagine, but it's still wild! It is able to evoke the confusion and schizophrenia of the times, while being hilariously funny and unsettlingly creepy at the same time. I remember seeing Paul Williams on the Mike Douglas show, and thinking that he had real nerve to actually try singing his songs in public (the songs were classics of the early 70's easy listening genre, but he was ridiculously bad, and looked like a cross between a muppet and Mary Travers). That was the same time I saw Bernadette Peters for the first time, and didn't understand why she was crying while singing a song. Why don't they replay that show on T.V.land?

The next time I see this title, in a rental store, or advertised on late-night, I'm planning a party around it!

The Andromeda Strain (1971)

Stands the test of time, like "2001 A Space Odyssey"

[9/10 · 2 October 2002]

I am not a Sci-Fi fan, but have always loved this movie. It is compelling as a drama, as a social commentary, and as science fiction. You can easily overlook the outdated technical issues in light of the greater dramatic and emotional effect of the film. In this it is much like "2001 A Space Odyssey"--in 2002 it is as relavent as it was in the late '60's. I shudder to think what a remake would look like, given the need to have some megastars in the title roles. Probably something like the remake of "Planet of the Apes"!