BlackX Reviews

Super Size Me (2004)

A Big Deal (Even a Super Sized Deal) For a Reason

[6 October 2004]

While those who say it's not well executed have a slight point, Morgan Spurlock does make a must-see film. The film doesn't do much to inspire other filmmakers within it's presentation, it is a perfect compliment and non-distraction to the film's real meal (pun intended) - it's genius content.

Does a fast food franchise deserve to be sued for making customers obese? Is it solely to blame? Are people's beliefs about their food exaggerating, or horribly understated? These a re some of the questions Super Size Me asks. And, how to answer? Simple - make yourself the guinea pig and record every twist and turn along the way.

Morgan begins an experiment which, to not give too much away, probably both doesn't meet but most of which exceeds your expectations. He'll eat Mickey D's 3 times a day, for 30 days, and tackle food and weight related issues, and the developing results, along the way. He can only Super Size it (note: no longer a possibility for us, as McDonald's removed the option for mega sized meals just more than a month after it's Sundance premiere - just a coincidence, of course . . . ) when asked at the counter, he must work through the entire menu, and can eat nothing not sold over the counter at McDonald's. On the way, he'll meat with three doctors, face the caring wrath of his vegan girlfriend, and meet some interesting people.

Filled with intriguing ideas and some questions for the food industry that can hit as hard and leave people as stunned as Michael Moore on politics, Morgan goes from the state of health in schools and their cafeterias (where he helps the audience to draw up most of their own conclusions, especially from one interview he has with a teacher who expects way to much out of tens, and I say that as one myself), to the differences between the weight of his home city to another, and everything in between. What comes together is a movie that's well paced, and well if, again, not inspiringly and groundbreakingly executed, and filled attention grabbers in each scene. The DVD shows Spurlock has great directing instincts, and cut many interesting scenes which were simply too long or didn't add anything to either side of the argument. In the end, the suspense of the results pours on, and the movie becomes as addictive as it's subject matter (I was forced to watch the movie over two nights, and it killed me). By the end, Morgan has graced us with a little more than we wanted to know about the experiment, but enough to both terrify and amuse us on the way. It's a classic documentary, and for those few haters who will tear the movie apart for it's average composure, everyone has to admit that it's classic just for it's content, and the DVD will always be special to me for the Bonus Footage of the metamorphosis of some McSandwiches and Fries over the course of nearly 3 months. It's classic, and I don't know if this guy can top it - check it out, you won't be sorry.

Scrubs (2001–2010)

Brilliant. Why does Friends get the huge fan base and the overexposure and not this?

[29 May 2004]

OK. I'm going to say something here and now.

The end of the world is this show being canceled.

It hasn't happened yet. And God hope that it doesn't happen soon. But if NBC continues it's overexposure of the "Friends" franchise as it no spins off into "Joey", continuously promoting the "third-to-almost-fourth-last-of-the-season", and not on quality shows like this. It will happen.

Using the free-camera style of sitcom to the greatest extent and directing possibilities since Malcolm in the Middle first aired, and simply the best writing ever since "Family Guy" went off the air (but the king shall return!), this is the greatest sitcom on the air, possibly in the last decade or more.

Every character has a personality that lends itself so beautifully to the show. From Dr. Cox's usually emasculating speeches that are highly anticipated every episode (sometimes, you get two, and a little part of you cries for joy on the inside), to the Janitor's way of playing the game of life between he and JD (and always somehow wins), to the main characters' individual blends of awkwardness and realistic smugness at whatever recent job-well-done they have done. But, of course, when it does, it's always fun to see that all fall down.

And each joke (out of all of them, approximately 98% is found in the witty dialogue itself) are executed perfectly by the cast and mixed in with a usually solid plot that sets itself up for jokes yet is satisfyingly emotional and realistic. I mean, really, who continues an argument for 7 years about whether or not they were on a "break"?

Each plot-important scene is treated like one and doesn't stand out as a laugh-dry one either. The usual plot advancement, one that regularly makes a character stare at another with their jaw slightly open and possibly enough time for a quick one-liner, is led into another scene effectively probably with a pan behind some object and the camera reemerges straight into a scene in progress, most of the time able to mix the character's home lives with the hospital life. More creative directorial touches that take full advantage of not using the traditional laugh-track/studio audience/3-walled room is a full hospital set where conversations can be taken around corners, can lead the camera to another character's conversation going in the opposite direction, with which the camera follows, and simply the funniest way to show viewers physical comedy (which never feels too slapstick).

The comedy itself is original and only an experience found here. Anyone who has seen the episode that briefly talks about JD's 'hair-met' can agree. JD and Elliot's love lives, whether together or with others, is always good for laughs, and together, they've even started making fun of their fairly clichéd off-again, on-again relationship (this season ending when JD proclaims love for Elliot, and when they get back together, he realizes, as his last girlfriend said, he only wants what he doesn't have, meaning, he realizes the second she hugs him again that he doesn't actually love her). Other story arcs, whether seasonal or over the series, are always dependable for the series to fall back on a little more than they traditionally do every episode (like the Janitor, or the Janitor and the other janitors, possibly along with Sloppy-Joe-guy, the cook, can have a small yet hilarious part or a large and still hilarious part). Mix in some surprisingly insightful philosophy from JD's narrative (though I like that they've started having some other character's narrating or just with their thoughts heard by the audience) near the end of every episode that ties all the sub-plots together, good music, the directing and plain laugh-out-loud comedy, and this is one show that I eagerly await syndication, DVDs, and, hopefully being one of the few sitcoms NBC will be airing this coming season, an award-winning show that will return to the Top 10 Weekly Nielsons and get more notice by the general public now that what's-it's-name is gone from people's minds. As long as they don't tune into any of the major network's local affiliates between 5-7 weekday nights.

Bruce Almighty (2003)

What if God was one of us? It would be pretty funny.

[8/10 · 19 December 2003]

I really do not know what people have against this film, but it's definitely one of my favourites. It's not preachy, it's not anchored by it's moral, it shouldn't be controversial. It's just God. Any possible God, no matter the religion. And it's really funny.

Jim Carry plays Bruce Nolan, a TV reporter usually stuck on the lighter side of the news, desperate to prove himself (more or less TO himself) that he can be taken seriously and do a good job in an anchor job. This drive is what is slowly driving his beautiful girlfriend Grace (Jennifer Aniston) away. When the final straws are executed, he's quick to not laugh, but yell in the face of God, who in turn gives Bruce his powers. Bruce then makes his life better for himself, until he's guilted into helping others, where he then continues to miss the point of his powers. Meanwhile, his constant excitement about his own life makes him more selfish, leaving his relationship on dangerous ground.

OK, that was kinda long. But as a plot, it works well. The step-by-step fashion in which we meet the challenges of being God is much better than clustering his problems together, and is able to hide itself fairly well.

As you probably know from hearing about this movie in the first place, Carrey's pitch-perfect acting stays in character (which, luckily enough, is him), and controls and gives atmosphere to the movie scene by scene. Whether they would admit it or not, the role was written or rewritten exclusively for Carrey. Without him, the humour would turn flat, as humour is half execution. And the humour is very good in the first place. But without Carrey, it would kinda feel like a It's a Wonderful Life wannabe.

Jennifer Aniston is great and, no matter what some may say, does not act like the only excuse for the third act. At least, you don't think that when you see her. She gives a heartfelt performance and makes you forget you're watching a movie, she and Carrey feel very much like a real couple.

The movie feels ggooooodd (see the movie to understand), has a very nice feeling, tackles the idea appropriately and better than expected and overall should never have been called slapped together just to save Carrey's career (which wasn't goin' anywhere.).

School of Rock (2003)

A Great Film to Make the Audience Laugh, Cry, and Cheer

[9/10 · 5 October 2003]

Let me go over my title summary of this just amazing movie School of Rock.

A - other than signalling that a noun is coming, slap on a plus and there's a grade for this School

Great - which it is. This movie is hilarious, filled with great sight gags and one liners, and actually filled with some great music in-jokes. The plot actually seems to work, and doesn't leave you with a slight guilt that you're believing this could happen like many comedies like this would. It has the abillity to pull you into the movie and make you forget about everything else, except maybe to look at your friend to see their reaction to the great jokes, or when the whole audience bends over holding their gut when a certain Chinese boy says a certain one line about the certain main star. When you find out what I'm talking about by going to see this movie, you'll agree that the director has done a great job, cutting the film perfectly (who needs a DVD?), and keeping it superbly timed.

Film - it's almost sad to think that this movie can't be more than a film. Sure, a CD, a DVD, a launching pad for Jack Black's no doubt about-to-explode career, but just for being what it is, it's sad it can't be a great pop culture franchise. If a tear's in your eye, don't skip ahead to the word "Cry"

to - OK, I may skip a few words . . .

Make - create, force, start to create a forcing . . .

the - . . .

Audience - which will be brought into a great atmosphere. When I saw the movie, every 20 minutes somebody pointed a laser pointer at the screen. Although I was loving the movie anyway, it couldn't get off somebody's nerves. With 30 minutes of the movie to go, the laser pointer showed up again, and someone from the front of the packed room yelled out, clearly audible, "If if find that laser pointer, I'm going to shove it up the owner's ---!!!", which was of course followed by a roar of applause from the audience. It was just that upbeat in there. We also happened to clap and cheer numerous times in the last 15 minutes of the movie. It's alomost going to be impossible to find a negative guy while the movie's rollin'.

Laugh - oh will you laugh. OH WILL YOU LAUGH! IT IS NOT A CHOICE! YET IT IS NOT A COMMAND! YOU CANNOT CONTROL IT! IT WILL HAVE YOU! !!!!!!YOU MUST LAUGH!!!!!!

Cry - here's something nobody was expecting. The child actors are so great, that multiple times one will come up to the main character Dewey, speak a heart-wrenching line about why they have no self-esteem, and the woman in the audience, and the less than tough guys, will all on cue give out a caring "aaawwwwwwww!", like sighing for them will help them out of their problem. It seems to work. Anyway, this, tied in with the humor, helps attract some of the ladies to the film, because, no offense, it can't be for any big hot studs taking the lead of the film.

and - that means there's one more thing.

Cheer - unless for some reason you've skipped right down to this riveting word right here, you'll understand why.

BOTTOM LINE: See the movie. Love the movie. Be sure to laugh with everyone, awwwww with everyone, and cheer at the right parts, which will hopefully come naturally. Oh, and always, ALWAYS remember to threaten the laser pointer guy (it worked) from a crowded area, in an indistinct voice. Rock on.

American Idol (2002– )

With Its' Way Ups and Pretty Pathetic Downs

[22 January 2003]

This show is a reality show at heart. Thousands of people audition in front of three judges, the infamous (yet truthful. People, if they're bad singers, don't blame him!) Simon, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul. They're mostly given the boot but some pass and go through many elimination rounds until we, the viewers, get to vote and slowly one-by-one toss out the final ten until we get one American Idol.

The first episodes are definitely the ones that spark its' popularity. As an exchange for a free contract deal, FOX is allowed to videotape and broadcast anyone they want.

This is the 5, 000+ auditioning stage. With so many people of so many cities, we've got to find at least a dozen people who think they can sing. I'm talking about the bad ones. Emphasize on THINK.

It's sad when they say they've always had a singing dream and are awful. But it's hilarious when people outburst because they now THOUGHT (or still think) they can sing. One guy on a recent season 2 episode thought he deserved to be the American Idol 'cause he thought he could sing and he stood out 5 days in the cold. Too bad he sounded like a bird being strangled.

There was another one of the same episode who said he had a dream(so far sad) of being a singer. He sings, and puts way too much into it(he's trying to sound like Enrique Glasias", and is turned down(still sad). He's OK, though, and walks out with a smile(right now confusing). He then walks out and proclaims to everyone he's going to Hollywood(the next round)(a little funny). About an audition later, the camera finds him sitting waiting for an audition. He explains to the security guard with the cameraman he's been invited back(now funny). As this never happens, the security guard doesn't hesitate to correct him and boots him out(kinda funny). He yells while leaving(the security guard lets him walk out himself) "I'll see you all in Hollywood!".(funny)

One last one, a girl couldn't believe they said she was just under average, good only hidden in a crowd of a choir. She denies being turned down, and when the host(with proof) asks her didn't she get refused Hollywood, she states she doesn't know, and tries to get back in to find out. One thing: she's a terrible liar. For ratings, she's allowed back in. Simon asks her hadn't they already seen her. She clearly wants a second chance, but strangely tries to start with (maybe the host was there) "I wanted to know if I'm going to Hollywood". "No, because you're terrible.". And it ends.

The second round is OK, as the crowd of about 200 is brought down to 30. The people who don't make it get a chance to speak out.

After that, we start voting, while the judges provide their thoughts. In a clearly planned move, you take away the bad singers now, and wind up with audience interaction. It's not the same, but you still see one vote and wonder how many people are trying to mess it all up by purposely trying to wind up with a bad singer winning.

I really enjoy the first parts more. But it's truly speechless. You have to see it to believe it.

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

Pretty Good

[8/10 · 18 January 2003]

Kung Pow is a total spoof of the karate film genre, kinda like Pleasantville is to 50's family shows. The difference is that in Kung Pow, not only is he the character in the movie, he's part of it, no "I was in the real world and now I'm dumped here and changing everything"

Steve Oedederk(mastermind behind Ace Ventura) inserts himself as the main character in a 1976 karate movie. The movie includes many clips of the original movie, I'd say probably 90-95% of the movie is the old movie, yet filled with new, hilarious scenes, dubbed by the man, and of course, himself filling the shoes of the main character. It's like a whole lot of the "me in other movies" scenes in Forest Gump.

Steve plays The Chosen One, a man who posses the power to do something or other, but his main goal is to kill whoever knocked his family. We watch as his baby self quickly takes control of the situation as his family is killed by one Master Pain( who is later known as Betty), in a truly classic opening. The visual effects are like on the internet(as in the baby will seem quite familiar), but it fits with the movie.

About half of all the lines is some joke, and though it could have been better, there was really no other way to make the movie. The scenes without Steve lacked a bit, but were still funny none the less. This movie couldn't have been recreated at all. If it was an Austin Powers, it would take away from the movie. Something about serious-looking men fighting each other to "Can't Touch This" is funny. Something about a baby rolling down a hill is funny. Something about product placement is funny. Something about the words "several various rodents" and "I'm no doctor, but that was like one clean chunk, man!" are funny. And probably the funniest part (as the cow fight is clearly in your head and was and is advertised everywhere), is something about the dub to a real clip that worked so well: "a) quickly dodge and hit him with a spinning back kick or b) get hit and die"(I won't give out the rest to save it for you) is extremely funny. Where it could have cut down some of the rude stuff just a little, it makes up with humor that no one can hate. There's just something about this that makes me want more.

Much much more.

'Twas the Night (2001 TV Movie)

Under Appreciated

[6/10 · 20 December 2002]

Of course, another movie is given no credit whatsoever and passed over for the fact that Walt Disney Co. has attached itself to it.

Despite being in Florida(well, Disney World, ironically) and having access to the Disney Channel(which wasn't really used because of the unpredictable scheduling of their holiday marathons) in 2001, I only watched this on the Canadian Family Channel when I noticed that Josh Zuckerman, who played Young Dr. Evil in Austin Powers in Goldmember(and is a very good actor) was in it. I would have probably watched it in 2001 if I had known that the man who plays Hal on Malcolm in the Middle was involved, I think his name is Bryan Cranston, who has taken a sidestep from his familiar role as the panicky, bad father role model, to a cunning, bad uncle role model.

Danny Wrigley(Zuckerman) has a younger brother, the kind who's dumb yet smart a.k.a. he will buy junk from Danny while "Christmas shopping", yet knows some things about computers and the outside world. He also has a younger sister, so smart she doesn't believe in Santa or Christmas. Danny spends a lot of time scheming, e.g. the Christmas shopping incident. Their parents are either doctors or lawyers, I can't recall, who, guess what, are called in to work on Christmas Eve night. Luckily, Uncle Nick(Cranston, who believe it or not isn't Santa despite having the name Nick) has dropped by for no apparent reason. But when the kids go off to bed, we find Nick has been a little naughty. He has to place a virus on his computer, but it also effects every computer for another 50 miles. Santa then comes by, using technology to shrink and unshrink presents, and freeze time. But whilst leaving, he gets knocked out cold, and is found by Danny and Nick, who then take his sleigh to save Christmas.

But Danny isn't the only schemer. Soon enough, Uncle Nick has conned him, too. Meanwhile, incredibly annoying sequences of Santa and the two younger siblings trying to bring down the new high-tech sleigh driven by Danny & Nick interrupt the latter's events, yet are unfortunately necessary to stop the movie from really going slow with 30 minutes or so of Danny and Nick just doing the same things over and over again.

The acting is the best job here. Cranston is great, and Zuckerman is going to grow up to be great, but he needs to work on his sadder emotions. The story and writing has points taken off for not coming up with a more enjoyable sub-plot. Casting is strong, there couldn't really be anyone else fulfilling the characters in this movie, but if I had to choose one guy I didn't like, it was Santa himself. The effects, well, they probably meet the budget. Some great props and computer stuff was the detail in the shrunken and unshrunken objects. Just look at the car, or the piano.

It's definitely something to watch in the holidays, but not one to cash out $10 American for an official VHS copy from Disney, especially for the measly hour-and-a-half you can watch it for on commercial-free TV(which is probably the only stations it may show up on). And though it's easily passed over, I enjoyed it, and you probably will too.

Lilo & Stitch (2002)

An ugly alien and a orphaned girl. Who knew it would be so good?

[8/10 · 19 December 2002]

A tall blue alien is walking toward a podium, surrounded by a stadium of aliens. One chubby purple alien with a strange accent and 4 eyes stands in front of her on a high, floating platform. A giant alien is told to read the charges, and he announces that the chubby purple alien has been accused of experimentation on a genetic level. It is announced that they believe he had created something, and a covered floating platform rises a few feet to the chubby alien's side. It is revealed under the covering a blue, 2-armed alien with large blue eyes, huge ears, and a smirk on his face.

Lilo & Stitch follows the adventures of two beings who meet up. Lilo is a 6-year-old depressed Hawaiian girl who listens to Elvis. Indeed, after the action-oriented introductory first 10-minutes, we do feel more than a little heartbroken for a while. She has no parents, and her sister, although good at taking care of her, does have some bad luck with a certain day and a certain man sent to check in on them.

Stitch is the experiment. Made to be destructive, he lands on Earth after a daring escape(or a lucky escape, whatever your look)and starts going through some tough times when he finds Hawaii has no large cities.

After an hour, Stitch is in Lilo's care in a last ditch effort for Lilo to stop being depressed in front of the service man, named Cobra Bubbles. With nothing to destroy, Stitch must look for the next greatest meaning he can find. That, is the center of this story: family.

Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten.

Stitch turns to a very short version of The Ugly Duckling in a Nursury Rhymes book, and starts relating to the lost bird.

Finally, many aliens sent to capture Stitch, or Experiment 626, meet up, in a grand explosion, a serious time, and a slightly confusing action battle.

Stitch, who had brought in his alien features to slightly resemble a dog, does eventually grow on you, he's super cute by the end, and you're happy to know a second movie, more of a prequel, is being made probably featuring the little guy. And you gotta love his voice. It is forgotten in a 50 minute period of growling, but you won't not be able to hear it enough eventually.

Lilo, though amusing, seems to be missing something, yet she is enough for one movie.

The first exclusively water-colour background Disney movie since Dumbo looks amazing, if you are slightly put off by the cartoonish look. The emotion and story is far beyond anything expected, especially for a Disney movie. And, though some seems trailed, the actual execution of the plot is almost up to it's fullest, with a few tweaks here and there. And I do want to see Stitch again, if not Lilo.

Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction (1997–2024)

Great Idea, Great Show, Very Bad Directing, But Check It Out

[10 December 2002]

The concept of the show: 5 stories. Basically 2 or 3 really happened. All are strange, paranormal stuff. A new employee frees a child from a sealed jewelry store safe by telling her to put her head to the door and think up a number. A homeless boy is reunited with his father after finding a priceless comic book and trying to cash it in. A substitute doctor comes in and finds almost psychologically a developing brain tumor in a child's head. A man finds he must ask a man to use his tools while constructing otherwise a curse of Merlon the great wizard will injure the taker.

Which ones happened?

Of course, they tell you in the end, and though there is a small pattern(i.e. half the episodes the stranger ones are always true, I think the writers can't come up with good stuff), it is a half-true Twilight Zone out there.

But being it the reality TV it is, a new cast is brought in not for every season or every episode, but for EVERY STORY! Many have decided to do only a part of what they should be trying to achieve in a 10 minute guessing game, hoping we'll forget by the next tale.

But although we do forget their faces, we are given the impression no good acting could come to this show. And with no good acting comes no good directing.

The directors haven't also lived up to the standard. Sure, it's ten minutes, but we'd like to see something other than crap trying to watch stories and be left unbelieving. The directors have given no motivation, no style, everything seems so bland we start to try to automatically forget anything other than the story itself, and when they bring it all back to memory in the end, we must think for a second about what happened, and recall our guess in less than five seconds or it's revealed and you may not even care what your guess was, your mouth may be dropped open because it was Beyond Belief.

Titus (2000–2002)

Fox Didn't Treat This Gem Right

[21 November 2002]

Meet Christopher Titus. His dad's gone through 7( or was that eight, or nine?) wives, resulting with him and his dumb brother Dave. His dad's never supported him, stopped him, and has laughed at his face for his whole life. As for that brother, he has no idea what the hell is going on and is the butt of the family joke. He creates custom cars, which brings out the, well, um, side of him that shows he has a small obsession of being in charge. His mom's a looney, his girlfriend is all loving and trusting( not a good thing), a depressed drug-selling teenage girl was just forced to move in with him and his best friend can't even tell himself if he's straight, or something else.

Welcome to his world. Christopher tells his every-day story from a wooden room with a chair, a light bulb, and any diagram he can think up. He's screwed up and knows he's screwed up, always on the verge of cracking but not there yet, and walking the fine line between genius and nut job that a single toe out of place can unleash. He refers to the years of childhood torture to bring out the sunny side of things, or, that may depend on your opinion.

Fox never knew this shows' potential. If it would pick a damn timeslot and not only advertise it during the news and Futurama, they would have a hit. The writing is the best thing about this show. Titus's life is so full of trauma, it would make a regular man criple in a womanly nervous breakdown, but not for Screwd-Up Man. His lousy childhood( hilarious, I might add) makes him automatically say what we all think, and do what he wants to. His years of nothing but trial and experience gives him a cool edge to solve any problem, and his outlook on life with his many metaphors and "meaning of life" discoveries we all seek yet are given so casually make him probably the most unpredictable, entertaining guy there ever was. I have to find out these other guys' work.

Catch this before it's completely gone, or you'll regret it. I hope they release it on DVD some day.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

Better Than The First

[8 November 2002]

Now, before people start bombarding me on how this movie is racist, sexist, horrible and crude, let me tell you something.

You cannot complain this isn't original. Spoofs are never really original. They throw a twist or two, but you can't expect a spoof to have an original plot. It's about the biggest oxy moron there is(something that cancels itself out as you say it, such as a spoof with an original plot). You can't say this was cashing in on a franchise for no good reason. It flopped big time in the theatres, and in a rare event only started growing popularity on video. Mike Myers has said countless times that he wrote this for himself, just playing around with an idea. He got the idea for the original listening to "The Look of Love" on the radio, not by actually watching the James Bond movies in a bad mood. He came out of hiding after several years to do something for himself.

Anyway, this movie marks the wall in the Austin Powers series, dividing International Man of Mystery(1997) and itself and Goldmember(2002). Austin Powers was a spoof of James Bond and a couple of low-budget yet famous English spy movies, with a couple of jokes in there that the James Bond series implied but had never shown. The deleted scenes contained a lot of stuff that may have made that movie nothing but a spoof, with no originality whatsoever. Spy Who Shagged Me and Goldmember left alone the James Bond series and focused more on what the most part of the audience focused on: The jokes. It still hasn't gotten to the point of making fun of pop culture fads like Goldmember, but Spy Who Shagged Me introduced never before seen jokes and gags that Goldmember uses nothing but. To understand all this, you've got to rent the DVDs of all 3.

Highlights of this hilarious if controversal(and isn't that always a good thing, in the end?) movie include the "bag" in the tent, which is about the grossest thing in the movie. But great too is all the Jerry Springer stuff, the time machine, and the woman who -WOULD-NOT-DIE! You have to watch the deleted scenes, mostly deleted because of timing and pacing of the movie and continuality but contained some of the funniest things I have ever watched, and don't really matter once they're put together in 20 minute form.

I love this movie, and if people would give it a chance, they'd love it too. Of course you might be shunned by your friends if they don't approve of it, but why are they your friends, then? In fact, kinda like reality TV.

Spider-Man (2002)

You'll Definitely Get Caught In The Web

[9/10 · 3 November 2002]

Firstly, my only major complaint is James Franco as Harry Osborn. He is a total Dawson's Creek reject who's terrible at acting. He talked in one tone the entire movie: "Whatever.". Hate him.

Otherwise, a great movie this is. James Franco mercifully has a minor role. Tobey Maguire was an excellent choice for Peter Parker, and if you don't like him as Spider-Man, too bad, because he really pulled back the troubled yet determined Spider-Man we all knew and loved, and he's coming back.

As you may expect from a super-hero movie, this film had a big budget, special effects, known, if not major, actors and actresses, and great sets.

But Spider-Man has been known to push the envelope a lot in the comics, and the same is said here. The special effects, though mostly good, lacked in realism when it was replacing a human figure. It immediately changed colour, speed, and stuck out when it went to CGI. Other than some web-swinging, the special effects lacked when they were really 100% necessary, and the screen tests on the DVD show that they were not really improved as the movie was made. It seemed like as they darkened the scene it was all supposed to look better, and it did, but only to a limited extent.

The acting is the core of this movie. Tobey Maguire was an excellent if surprising choice, really bringing back the days of the new, teenage Spider-Man compared to the expected major action of today, yet modernized it effectively, one of their goals, so we believed the movie happened in present day, not the swinging sixties. Kirsten Dunst was another surprising yet excellent choice as Mary Jane, improving on the damsel in distress character with a new flair to make the relationship with Parker more believable. I'll just skip the paragraph or two on James Franco.

I unfortunately had never heard of Willem Dafoe before this movie, which is a shame, because he's an excellent actor, especially his voice difference. Uncle Ben was strangely modernized to the 21st century, apparently with a great sports interest. Aunt May was perfectly played, except for the shocking introductory scene when she calmly tells Ben not to fall on his a**. J. Jonah Jameson, slightly taller but with the exact same personality that made him such a joy to hate, is greatly played, and half of you wanted more footage of him, and half of you were glad his jerk character was short. Unfortunately, I forget all these wonderful actors' names.

The sets were grand, big and detailed, and Times Square(also apparently a set!) really brought the webbed wonder to 2002. I didn't like the eventually annoying marketing gimmicks, with everything from Dr. Pepper to Cingular Wireless network.

The action scenes were well choreographed, always in the right mood or atmosphere and never repetitive or boring. But it could've been a little better. It still suited Spidey well. The wardrobe was one of the best of a movie I've ever seen, and thank God they rejected the clothes from the screen tests. The main costumes focused on, Spidey and the Green Goblin, don't disappoint.

Sam Raimi should be really proud. A grand movie worth whatever you paid to see it. Please, though, keep it safe and don't make any risks for "The Amazing Spider-Man"(the second movie). We don't want this to be another Batman. The 4 decades of risk-taking, moral-teaching, twist-and-turn-stories of the Spider-Man era should not be let down. No pressure, though!

Super Mario Sunshine (2002 Video Game)

Like Some Good Time In The Sun, Without The Burn

[8/10 · 25 October 2002]

Super Mario Sunshine lives on the classic Mario, but takes it another level with even less side-scrolling than Super Mario 64, and a whole lot more sense of freedom. The boss fights are fun instead of frustrating, the levels create more and more challenge, and the controls, despite the Side Somersault, are easy to master.

Mario, Peach, and Toads head for a nice Hawaii plus Disney World vacation to Isle Delfino(watch for the inside joke on the GameCube's old working name "Dolphin") when Mario is accused for polluting the island with slimy graffiti, taking away Sunshine and the Shine Sprites, which have vanished, and making everywhere an unhealthy, dangerous, depressing-looking place. The real culprit is someone who we all know, but has dressed up to look like Mario. He repeatedly steals Princess Peach away, just like a famous relative of his. Mario must now use the new F.L.U.D.D.(Flash Liquid Ultra Dousing Device, watch for the bottom left corner of the screen when it analyzes Mario)water pumping backpack, which gameplay is based on, to defeat enemies, triumph over obstacles and solve the mystery of Who, Why and What happened? As he collects Shine Sprites from missions, Sunshine will return to the darkened island.

The music is great! I love the mysterious and remixed tunes that appears in the Shadow Mario scenes, plus the obstacle courses, though some of the sunny, bright music doesn't fit the mood even if it fits the setting.

Nintendo is starting to regain its' reputation to not have the best possible graphics, but having original gameplay that's fun and smooth.

The variety of activities that you are aloud to do it great, and the ways to collect Shine Sprites are numerous. The voices are fantastic and never boring, the graphics are as good as the many computer-generated images of Mario you see in video game magazines, and the cut-scenes are great and hilarious! I fully recommend this game, and to get a guide or a couple Nintendo Power magazines to help you out, but you should really be "Okey-Dokey!"

'The Simpsons': America's First Family (2000 TV Movie)

Answers What's Probably On Your Mind

[25 October 2002]

I saw this documentary on The Simpsons Season 1 DVD set.

While Simpsons maniacs will be disappointed as this documentary basically answers general questions(e.g. Where'd Matt get the idea for the characters? What does Matt do other than The Simpsons? You know, stuff they know by heart by now), it pleases anyone who had a question about the series. Just don't suspect they'd go into detail about single episodes. Definitely doing it's homework, it does get out the info through interviews with people you'd expect, if slightly short.

The Famous Jett Jackson (1998–2001)

Worse and Worse

[25 October 2002]

This show was interesting at first, but the little bits of Silverstone started to be the only thing to keep it alive. Otherwise it's just the story of some kids' lives. Unlike other shows that sound the same, there are not many episodes where strange things happen, or unfamiliar surroundings that make it interesting. There are some lessons, better when they tie it into the Silverstone parts, but sometimes are targeted towards the African-American audience, which is a downer.

Before I go on, let me explain the plot. Jett Jackson is a teenage star for his roles on "Silverstone", a popular show about a secret agent played by Jett(on the show), with a partner named Hawk(played by Riley, a newer friend, all on the show) and raised by Artemis, his mentor. The Silverstone show treats everyone the same race, so Disney had to try to make audiences catch what is different between a show teaching lessons for life and real life. Outside Silverstone, Jett lives with his Dad, the Sheriff, and Nana, his grandmother, a wise woman. His Mom is still in L.A. working for TV or the movies. Jett has been able to convince "the network" to move his show back to Wilsted, North Carolina, to live with his friends J.B.(white) and Kayla(one parent is black, one white). Plots either focus on trouble at school, trouble in the show, trouble with racism or possible everyday crisis(snake bite, lost while camping, such).

The acting is great, though the emotion seems to all either be "Everything's great!" or "I'm concerned.", but it's just a little too repetitive and boring eventually. I suggest they try bringing Silverstone by itself onto air, give the actors who play locals in Wilsted parts, and spruce it up to a higher action level.

Teen Angel (1997–1998)

A Timely Death

[25 October 2002]

Here in Canada, our Family Channel(a lot like Disney Channel with more late 80's and early 90's movies) have picked up this show and "You Wish!", which was much better than this, but that's still not saying much.

Marty, a teenager, dies and is assigned to be guardian angel to his best friend Pete, who is the only one who can see or here him. The jokes were less than standard Friday night pre-teen/family comedy, which is not great to begin with. You Wish! had much the same weirdness to its' plot but pulled it off a lot better.

I'd definitely reassign the roles of Pete, his Mom, his Aunt, and his little sister(man, she's a good actress, but got an annoying part!). They all don't seem right for their roles. I think part of it is the friendship between Marty and Pete isn't believable, maybe by their characteristics, maybe becuase of the poor acting. I think Marty, though he could have used a name more suited for his personality, was greatly acted to the script, though.

I think the series was short lived mostly because of it's boring plots and bad acting. You can stand the jokes, but Marty was the only one who displayed emotion. It couldn't have lasted much longer.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

Definitely A Worthy Transition Of The Books

[24 October 2002]

As many of us who read the book know, Harry Potter(the franchise) uses the age-old fashion of teaching kids lessons(bravery, friendship, trusting, snootiness, etc.) through a hero that has a power that many kids would love to have, but love more to follow the adventures of. Although some say that it teaches children witchcraft, more of us know that it's a way to hook children into reading beyond the expectations of schools(six year olds reading the 100-600+ page books in just weeks) and teach them lessons that may not be well taught in schools. By having Harry as a hero, kids love to act like him, but they're smart enough to know what's sensible and what's not. Harry Potter plays on that, so they can make children do the right thing for many, not just themselves.

The movie is a great representation of the book. While many critisise it for it's length, it was either that or not following the books at all. Many critisise it for taking the imagination out of reading. Well, I think children love to use their imagination much more than rely on something, though it serves well for children who are dislexic or whatnot and can't read the books or have trouble imagining what's happening. If parents are that upset, don't show it to them. The sets are fabulous, the cast is great and now can be shown so that no one can agree it could have gone better, and it's a classic good-versus-evil plot, if a little controversial with some people.

Like a great, famous, and classic nursery rhyme.

Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000)

Singing, Dancing, Slapstick . . . What Else Can Make This Show Worse?

[24 October 2002]

There's two words that for a lot of people never seem to go together well. "TV" and "Video Games". Sometimes they work, but this is not one of those times.

You're favourite characters from the famous series that Rare(which has now, like rumor predicted, left Nintendo, or Nintendo sold it, whatever your view) really boosted. Donkey Kong has come a long way. It started as the villain in what I believe was the first Mario game. In a King-Kong like style, now used in Mario games by Bowser and fellow Koopas, he kidnapped Mario's girl, Princess Peach.

Since then, his son(the missing-from-the-show-and-practically-not-counted-as-a-character-in-the-fra nchise-anymore, Donkey Kong Jr.) has rescued him(but has only been seen in rereleased games since Mario Tennis), he's found a bunch of other monkey pals, including Diddy, and has been jumping, pumping and many other ping words until King K.Rool, the evil croc villain of the Donkey Kong Country series, kidnapped him in Donkey Kong 2.

Well, ignoring some characters, like the Baby Monkey from DK3 and DK64, the series goes back to the days when Donkey Kong, apparently, was a selfish, macho, self-aware guy, Diddy was the party-guy who was forced by instinct to look after him, and Dixie and Candy were only suspecting love interests, making my previous explanations of the whole video game run obsolete. Cranky, the old geiser, now protects a Crystal Coconut with enough power to rule the island they inhabit, the reason King K. Rool is after them, and doesn't give a lick as to how Donkey kong does it, unlike his advising ways in the game.

With stupid time-filler songs that will either repeat themselves again and again in your head or will immediately vanish from your memory, the same back and forth "excitement" over who has the Coconut between the crocs and apes, and maybe a change of setting or a strange thing(the mines and DK becoming a baby comes to mind) supposed to be a so-called "plot", and slapstick comedy aided by the fact they turned Donkey kong into a guy who doesn't care about a thing unless he gets food, like a hairy Shaggy of Scooby-Doo, and Diddy being a monkey that seems high, loves to laugh(and apparently sing) and panicks every 2 minutes make this show pretty pathetic. It can't even get close to capturing the fun of the games.

Dilbert (1999–2000)

Brings the Comics to the Next level

[24 October 2002]

Until maybe a year or two ago, I always thought you had to know something or two about the technology business to get the comic Dilbert. But, as you now know, I live in Canada. And luckily, in Canada, we have a broadcast network known for trying out alot of shows(as it did this, got axed, not enough marketing), a great Comedy Network(equivalent of Comedy Central when you take away the movies and add a little HBO programming, once had this show, I believe), and a Cartoon Network(named TeleToon, which buys mostly good shows instead of alot of bad or average shows and instead shows different episodes about every day). luckily, teleToon has kept the wacky, zany Dilbert that would never have been able to get into the comics. Keeping Dilbert around for a 30-minute time slot has proved to given many an oppurtunity, taken often, to take the comic to the next level and give hilarious if bizarre situations involving work, which give explanations for many queeries(not really, just in an entertaining way) and stereotypes involving the workplace. Springing to mind are the "down-sized" people.

A great, if bizarre, way to laugh the harsh world away.

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! (1989)

Should Be Brought Back!

[19 October 2002]

I don't remember much of this show. I mostly only saw reruns in 1994-1995. I remember snippets of cartoons, and Mario and Luigi would once in a while come into a basement and have fun. I think it was this show. All I know for sure is, I loved the basement sketch of the walls caving in on them, and, unfortunately, for some reason Lou Albino(or whatever) it still getting teased for this in video game mags, the latest being a wrestling screenshot game with a Lou Albino look-alike and a screenshot from the newest Mario game Super Mario Sunshine, with Mario looking around in Sunglasses and Hawaiin-themed shirt, looking like a scared celebrity with a Lou Albino caption. Hmm.

The Wonderful World of Disney: Geppetto (2000) Season 3, Episode 12

Not as Bad as Critisised

[18 October 2002]

OK, so the costumes and make-up were horrible?So what? I got over it. It's not the best movie out there, but considering I've never been able to keep my brain on in the original Pinnochio(in fact, I found myself, still with my eyes open, waking up and going "How long was I out? and once "Where am I?" and a lot of "What was I thinking?"s), it wasn't that bad. Too bad it seemed a one time thing. Drew Carey, one of my favourite comedians, doesn't do a lot of looking around, laughing or jerking motions like on his show(which doesn't mean the show is bad, a like it a lot), but instead is surprisingly strong if not as believable as other choices, and focused. I despised the Fairy woman(I forget the name) and Pinocchio himself gave a bad performance, not believable at all. But Brent Spinner and a short, good, but a little clumsy appearance by Wayne Brady keep the score from falling. His role a little unnecessary, the Magician was a good time filler. Brent was definitely the best actor out there, out to make a hard, almost no-reason-behind-his-actions character rise beyond all else.

But please: Get a new composer! For the love of God!

This Hour Has 22 Minutes (1993– )

"The Daily Show" for Canadians

[18 October 2002]

Despite the fact that it's not daily, but weekly, "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" is exactly "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" for Canadians. Just take away unsuspecting citizen guest stars, except for the hilarious "Talking to Americans", where Rick Mercer would travel to America and tell them fictional trivia and ask them questions, now missing from the show due to his leaving and Colin Mochrie's coming.

In fact, "Talking to Americans" just proves: if you're American and you live in America, you probably don't know anything about our politics or politicians, so you probably won't get it. "22 Minutes" is meant for us Canadians. I can't really put it much another way. Many people regard Canada as "peaceful" or "America Jr."(despite the fact we're bigger than you). But we hate our politicians, love to make fun of them just as much, and have many of our own problems, including bad Canadian original programming(this is one of those great shows like "The Simpsons" that makes fun of the very channel it's on), and our unpredictable stock exchange, strange yet incredibly unnecessary-to-mention crimes, and over-spending by the government.

If you lived here, you'd understand.

The Amanda Show (1999–2002)

Funny at first, but way too repetitive.

[16 October 2002]

Amanda Bynes could do much better. There's one thing about her that really shines. Her voice. Or voices. Proven countless times on the Amanda Show and the Frankie Muniz movie Big Fat Liar, but not yet developed on her run of All That, she's obviously got a gift.

That said, watch the Amanda show 3 times. Only 3 times. Because in about 3 episodes, except for the hilarious yet too rare Dawson's Creek homage Moody's Point, you will know about every single sketch series they do. Judge Trudy? After the initial smile and smirk of the premise, it gets old. The Girls' Room? Obviously just a reason not to put the "Debbie" character on by herself, but still too boring. Totally Kyle? Once is enough. There are so few high points. And even they all seem to come once every season, though. Two gems: Survivor homages and Moody's Point(the best seem to be homages, don't they?). The crazy Penelope Taynt gets worse and worse per episode. The only reason The Amanda Show lacks majorly is the fact that after the beginning laughter shock of seeing some great idea for a sketch, you'll really start to notice that they only seem to change a word or two per episode.

Pokémon: Mewtwo Returns (2000 Video)

A Promising Idea to Make Up Goes Bad

[14 October 2002]

What I mean by my title summary is that Pokemon: The First Movie was a good movie that was meant for the fans. Still, it was only meant to be seen once. A promising idea for a sequel to the most liked of the horrible movie series(the TV series is half-good, it's the video games that started it all for a reason), in a direct to video release turned out to add another dent to the bashed Pokemon phenomenon, most of the damage coming from the movies. In fact, the newest Pokemon movie(Pokemon 4) and maybe this one has been released by Miramax films, behind the Spy Kids movies, who had already been accused(though it was quickly forgotten) by rumors that they had tried to buy Pokemon movie rights. Kids'WB, owners of the first 3 movies and TV show, seem to look in a selling mood as a card-game, movies and their own TV show are looked over and insulted, with a GameCube game(mostly known as Meowth's Party) shelved, and everyone looking at the new movie and waiting for the new Game Boy Advance games to judge the old phenomenon again.

The direct-to-video approach was probably selected as the effects of a big-screen Pokemon movie wore off on kids, despite their newest attempts in Pokemon 4. Now for the movie. It starts out regularly introducing how Ash and friends, the stars of the show and movies, and their arch-nemesi(or whatever) Team Rocket get caught up in the happenings. Ash and co. miss an important bus and must try to get to another side of a mountain Mewtwo and his clones from the first movie(minus Mew, the pokemon Mewtwo was cloned from, for some reason) are perched on top of(with a TV system and hidden cameras.???). The boss of Team Rocket, who created Mewtwo, is the only one who remembers Mewtwo after the clone erased everyone's mind at the end of First Movie, finds Mewtwo on his satellite system or something and decides to try to catch him, with the help of his own army. Ash and co. wind up trying to climb the mountain because of poor excuses the writers had to come up with to not allow them any other way. Ash, friends and Team Rocket winds up surrounded by clones, with a confused Mewtwo who doesn't know what to do with them. He's opposed against fighting now(a message that worked in the first movie, because Pokemon usually faint, not die, from battling, but now is an excuse to drag on the movie).The TR boss, named Giovanni, moves in and (eventually) traps Mewtwo into giving himself up or sacrificing his clone friends. The whole movie has a message of a life is a life, no matter what origin, a great anti-racism message which is a shame because almost nobody will know about it, this movie being so quietly released most video rental places don't even have it.

With the whole against fighting message added in, probably used in the first movie to try and counter parents fears, makes this a boring, dragging movie that has no big fight at all, though slightly dramatic, though with a predictable ending. Not even good for fans, which at least the longer, better first movie(and that's not saying much) at least achieved. As I said to my friends as we all watched it, so bad it's funny. Not funny-ha-ha, funny you're-so-stupid-and-pathetic, ha-ha.

Super Smash Bros. Melee (2001 Video Game)

One of the Best Games Out There

[9/10 · 14 October 2002]

Forget the Pc, Dreamcast and XBox. There's two consoles: GameCube and PlayStation2. The XBox is meant to make Bill Gates richer, the Dreamcast is short on games and is no longer being given games anyway, and the PC games come in three choices: 2-D, blocky or educational. The PlayStation2: great variety, online gaming and DVD player. GameCube: old reliable Nintendo favourites and extremely varied, original ideas. Just look at Super Mario Sunshine, Animal Crossing, or, a favourite, Super Smash Bros. Melee. Unfortunately brought up the wrong way, SSBM is not about "let's see who beats whom" when talking about whether Mario can cream Samus, or is Pikachu stronger than Fox. Because even if you match yourself against a computer, a compter versus a computer, or a human versus a human, you'll always get different results. No, the reason for this game is the features. 4-player versus. Adventure mode full of variety. Collecting trophies of Nintendo trademarks(not literally, I mean characters and things created by Nintendo), and much much more. The unknown of many things, like what Pokemon will be in that PokeBall, who will win this fight, is a bomb in this crate, and many other things make this game a sure win. It's meant o be played to have fun, not to settle arguments. And one of the reasons it's a hit: there's a character for everyone.