toothache_face Reviews

Alien Uprising (2012)

Ignore the pro reviews,they must be in on it.

[1/10 · 28 January 2013]

This movie is a subliminal stinker of epic rotten eggedness and a close encounter of the worst kind. I'm just going to summarise because even then I'm wasting my time and to be honest all the negative reviews have already about hit the nail on the head so here goes...

Acting that my wardrobe could better,a script that must have been written on a bus trip to town and jotted down on a fag packet,special effects from the pound shop,fight scenes that someones Nan must of choreographed and dialogue so awkward that your face aches with cringing embarrassment.

But worst of all far above any other of this films problems is the seemingly unapologetic,total disregard for the viewer. You can practically hear all those involved laughing as your money goes in their bank accounts. It has already been mentioned that there should be a law against this tripe being sold and i have to say,in this instance i would vote for that law.

Quite simply,run from this film like you've seen a big plastic spaceship hanging on strings from the sky.

Quarantine 2: Terminal (2011)

Don't get infected by this rubbish.

[4/10 · 27 June 2011]

Jumping on the coat tails of Quarantine,which pre jumped on the coat tails of the fantastic original REC,Quarantine 2 is a subject example in American Studio movie dismemberment. Before we start this is NOT REC,it's not EVEN Quarantine,it's a blatant money making attempt by those who have seen the promise and fruits of the original and then hash n slashed together a relatively forgetful zombie b-movie with the hope of ticket sales gained on the notoriety of the previous incarnations. It really is that transparent.

Following with the time line of the original this is set on board a plane and then on into a terminal,hence The Terminal,brilliant eh? Well that's as good as it gets! Forgetful script,bad acting,zombies doing their usual stuff. Nothing new in all departments. Pretty much a waste of time with some of the worst dialogue i have heard in a film (even a horror film) for quite some time. Shoddy,sloppy bandwagon hopping of the worst kind.

I left as soon as the titles appeared not a minute too soon to sighs and moans from all present.

I love horror movies but sorry....avoid like the plague.

Predators (2010)

Burn Hollywood Burn

[1/10 · 21 July 2010]

Being a big fan and teased with the trailers and promotion for the latest saga in the Predators franchise i sat down with excitement to watch...and it all went wrong from the opening scene. I cannot begin to explain to you how many errors and so so obvious plot holes there are in this movie,to explain them all would literally take me all night so here's just a few. It begins with guys falling from the sky from thousands of feet landing barely without a scratch into the jungle undergrowth. I let this one go. It becomes obvious that this is foreign soil and the Predators are beaming fodder for the hunt onto their own planet,OK so now the original film has been rendered totally obsolete. Why would they come down to earth,the original premise,when they can sit on their butts and transport humans into their own back yard? The story was already shooting itself in the foot and it had barely got going.

Talking of shooting,ammo that never runs out. It seems a never ending supply of bullets keep miraculously appearing and restocking weapons. More shaking of the head (and tutting) followed. Fishburne enters the movie with a Predators helmet making him visible when he removes it,hang on i thought the manipulation of these cloaking devises where controlled from the Predators arm unit,well they have in the past how many films. Oh and these Predators now have feelings for the humans and can be persuaded to join forces and sympathise quite easily. Honestly it really is this silly. The acting isn't too bad,the action scenes are run of the mill Predator but it's biggest let down is this shoddy excuse for a plot and it's execution. I walked out,had enough.

Obviousely Hollywood chose to disregard the idea of continuing Dutch's rescue and the army going in to sort this thing out. All right well that's a total rip off of Aliens but so what,it would have been a damn sight better than this total rot. Burn Hollywood burn...you've ruined it again! What's next Predators v Spiderman? Please don't do any more,this has become a joke now.