longcooljolie Reviews

Richard Jewell (2019)

Did not expect to like this one this much

[9/10 · 27 April 2024]

Most people know the story of Richard Jewell, the security guard at the '96 Summer Olympics in Atlanta, who was hailed as a hero and then vilified during a bombing incident. It's also not a spoiler to mention that his name was eventually cleared. Around the time, an Atlanta rock radio station put up a billboard saying, "Free Bird" with a pic of Richard Jewell, for instance.

So, the challenge with a true story where everyone already knows the eventual outcome is; how do you make it compelling? Clint Eastwood and the producers behind "Richard Jewell" were way up to the task, first with the casting. The title character was a portly fellow, so Paul Walter Hauser made himself a little bit more portly-er to take on the role, but he also managed to show his earnest side and his big heart, especially in the scenes with his mom, Bobi (portrayed by Kathy Bates, another casting triumph).

Jon Hamm portrays an FBI agent with an axe to grind, the beguiling Olivia Wilde portrays the whacked-out reporter who publicized the case, and Richard's lawyer? It took me a few moments to realize that, hey, that's the psycho from "Green Mile" who spat chewed up Moon Pie on Tom Hanks and. Sam Morse.

So, while this is a retelling of a story about an individual, the movie is really an ensemble cast since the characters mentioned above get equal time in a deft cross-cutting of the ways they are involved in Richard's story. Even a secondary character, Watson Bryant's secretary Nadya (portrayed by talented character actress Nina Arianda) makes an impact in a scene where she cleverly reveals that Mr. Jewell's home and the Watson Bryant law office were bugged.

Kathy Bates delivers a tearjerking, emotional speech during the height of Richard's ordeal, and Richard and his lawyer share an equally emotional scene at the story's resolution. Yes, you may need a tissue or two for this one! On top of everything else, there's a very satisfying epilogue, kind of a Clint Eastwood directorial trait. See it!

Hacksaw Ridge (2016)

A different kind of hero

[10/10 · 31 March 2024]

Early in this drama, Desmond Doss, who hopes to become a healer someday, rescues a boy who is crunched beneath a car when the jacks fail as he is working underneath it. Desmond calms him down, checks him over, finds the spurting artery and closes it off by using his own belt as a makeshift tourniquet. He rides with him in the back of a pickup truck that serves as an impromptu ambulance, and when the poor youth arrives at the hospital emergency room, the nurses and doctors take over.

The doctor turns to Desmond and asks "Are you the one who made this tourniquet?" and Desmond nods. "Good work, son," the doctor replies. "You may have saved his life." It's a clever bit of foreshadowing for the story, along with Desmond's father's guilt over living while his buddies perished in WWI.

War movies, perhaps more than any other genre, fall under scrutiny for accurate portrayals of events in historic wars and battles. "Hacksaw Ridge" takes license with a few of the facts surrounding Desmond Doss' life but so what? The stunning achievements of the Seventh Day Adventist conscientious objector finally receive their due on the silver screen.

"Hacksaw" is a triumph of gritty wartime realism, outstanding cinematography, perfect casting, and expert direction from Mel Gibson, who knows a thing or two about directing war dramas. It differs from many war movies in that the "war" part happens entirely in the second half of the movie. Before then, we have to learn about Desmond's character by how he interacts with his mother, father, brother, and fiancee.

The producers wisely avoided preachiness and Bible quoting in revealing Desmond's faith. After all, actions speak lounder than words. By now, most people reading this will know that Desmond Doss rescued 75 soldiers, but at least two of them were Japanese! The entire sequence on the ridge, while exhausting to watch, features stirring scenes with both the company captain and sergeant, who confess to him how much they had underestimated him.

As other reviewers have noted, the movie also deftly introduces romance into the story as the young and inexperienced Desmond meets his future fiancee, Dorothy. During one of their early dates, she says "You've got to work on your boy-girl talk during a date," or something like that, but she is smiling when she says it.

Tough-guy Smitty snatches Desmond's little Bible when they are in barracks relaxing during basic training. Dorothy's picture falls out of it, and he says, "Now, this is a fine-looking woman. Too bad she doesn't have a real man," or something along those lines. He also kids Desmond for "punching above his weight class" in dating Dorothy. Yet even though Smitty and others in the unit berate Desmond for his beliefs, in the end they revere him for his actions.

It's a different kind of a twist for a war drama, and when the men in Desmond's unit rescue him at the end, it creates a stunning scene when he his lowered down from the ridgetop to welcoming hands.

So, even if war dramas aren't your thing normally, "Hacksaw Ridge" is a story of extreme strength from an unlikely person in an unlikely place. The scenes and images will stay with you for a quite a while after!

Cabrini (2024)

We need someone like Mother Cabrini now

[10/10 · 22 March 2024]

My viewing of this movie happened about 10 days ago, and for movies I review here on IMDB, if I really like them or really hate them I generally do the review right away. "Cabrini" is such a special film, though, that it takes a while to process the stunning imagery and the messages of hope contained therein.

As a baptized and confirmed Roman Catholic who attended a Catholic school in Westchester County, New York, we were all told about Mother Cabrini, the saint who did so much for the poor. Of course, the nuns left out the fact that she and her group of sisters were spat on when they first arrived the way it's shown in the movie or that the diocese and NYC government opposed them at every turn.

Through all the hardships, Mother Cabrini commands a strong presence and unwavering dignity as she soldiers on. A street prostitute from their same country befriends them and eventually joins them, so there is that side story of redemption as well.

Visually, the movie should win awards for cinematography and art direction. There are huge contrasts between the opulence at the Vatican and in the NYC diocese offices and the sewer slum squalor of five points, Mother Cabrini's initial neighborhood. Two or three arresting scenes get shot in silhouette, which creates an evocative, ethereal kind of experience.

Wisely, the producers.chose an unknown to portray Mother Cabrini, Christiana Dell'Anna. Or, she is unknown (until now) to American audiences at least. There is a special kind of beauty in her unwavering faith and dignity. Most of the actors and actresses surrounding her are unknown too; in fact the only recognizable, widely-known names in the whole production are John Lithgow as the mayor and. David Morse as the archbishop.

Today someone like Mother Cabrini is needed because of the horrendous problem of housing in our country. Homeless populations are growing yet there are more vacant houses and buildings than the numbers of homeless. And today's youth must stay living at home with parents longer because of skyrocketing rents for even modest dwellings.

Someone with courage and unwavering strength needs to come forward and master these challenges and create a new paradigm the way Mother Cabrini did for the poor in the early 20th century. As a final word, the musical score greatly enhanced the movie and the duet sung through the closing credits will bring tears to your eyes. See this.

A Man Called Otto (2022)

My favorite movie of 2023 - sorry Barbie

[9/10 · 8 February 2024]

Tom Hanks is one of those, "If he's in it, it has to be good," actors. This movie, still his most recent, played at my favorite theater a year ago and was an enjoyable theater watch. From about May or so of last year, it has constantly been on Netflix, so I have re-watched it about five times.

What makes it so good? Despite the subject matter, it manages to be joyous and uplifting at the same time. Early scenes show him borderline abusing a couple of workers in a big-box home improvement type store and then also yelling at a real estate official and a brown truck delivery driver because they have the audacity to drive on the condo complex's private road.

We quickly find out the reason for Otto's sadness however. It's because he deeply misses his wife, whom had passed away a couple of months prior. A gregarious young couple move in across the street, including the lovely Mariana Trevino, who manages to break through Otto's icy exterior and we find out that Otto's heart is large in more ways than one.

In his Playtone movies, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson like to give up-and-coming actors and actresses breaks by showcasing them. One example was Rami Malek, who played a wisecracking fellow student in "Larry Crowne." So, maybe we'll see Mariana Trevino in more upcoming roles. She has proven she has the acting chops to really tug at the heartstrings of viewers.

The film has a nice style to it. Rather than having a strictly linear structure, it jumps around between scenes from Otto and Sonya's youth. These scenes have a dreamy quality to them, and since the characters are just a few years older than me, I remember what the world was like in the mid to late 70s and the producers have populated it with nice detail including vintage passenger trains and the plaid, gaudy '70s clothing styles Sonya and Anita wear.

Tom Hanks' real-life son Truman portrays him in the flashbacks with a wonderful wide-eyed innocence which is quite touching in Sonya and Otto's scenes. While not exactly a dead ringer for his father, it still works through a combination of willing suspension of disbelief and good direction. Also, the way they lit and shot Rachel Keller as young Sonya created lots of emotion and pathos.

Other characters include a transgender boy, Malcolm, whom Otto helps in a few touching scenes. Malcolm says, "Mrs. Anderson (Sonya, one of his teachers) was the first one to use my new name and the first not to treat me as a freak." There is also. Jimmy, a kindly neighbor, and Shari, a social media journalist who play key roles in one of the climactic scenes of the movie.

Will you cry? Of course, unless you're a complete iceberg of a person, but it is a good cry. The movie leaves you feeling good and even the credits contain some wonderful touches to put a nice little icing on this cake. If you haven't seen it yet, what are you waiting for?

Home Alone (1990)

They caught lightning in a bottle with this one!

[8/10 · 21 December 2023]

For a movie that is a holiday classic, there are surprisingly few reviews here on IMDB. This review will hopefully cover the lesser-discussed aspects of why it was so popular when it was released and why it continues to be popular today.

Back in 1990, it was the perfect, slick holiday production that had a little bit of everything. We've all gone on trips before where, when you're driving down the highway or taking off on the plane, there's a nagging feeling of "Gee, there must be something I forgot to do." And in this case, a whole child got left behind!

Many of us have been in families with the types of characters in the McCallister family; there is the bullying older brother, Buzz, the two cloying older sisters and the boy in the middle who acts annoyed by everything: "Kevin, you're such a disease." A lot of us have a grumpy type of uncle Frank, too, so there is the whole idea of relatability.

And of course, MacCaulay Culkin at Kevin was just the right amount of adorable at the right time. Even after multiple viewings over the decades, it's still funny to watch him clap his hands to his face and yell, "AAAARGH!" when he tries out the stinging after shave or the way he screams and runs for his life when he sees Marley, the scary neighbor.

Could there have been a better pair of bumbling burglars than Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern? Would Kevin's outwitting of them have worked without the Three-Stooges-style shennanigans that happened in Act three? No and no. Even back during its initial release, medical professionals commented that both of them would have gotten gravely injured by all the mayhem such as getting burnt on the head by a blowtorch, smacked in the face with swinging paint cans, and falling down a set of iced-over concrete stairs, slamming into a door at the bottom. But of course, Harry and Marv bounce back in the next take like a flesh-and-blood Wile E. Coyote, appearing none the worse for wear.

Thirty-three years later, the whole premise for the movie falls apart not only because of the ubiquitousness of cell phones but also because of post 911 airport security. So why is it still such a popular holiday watch? There are people who were the same age as the children in the family when the movie was released who are now showing it to their kids, and in some cases grandkids. It's like a bygone relic of a somewhat-simpler time.

After all, audiences in the '70s might have seen "It's a Wonderful Life" and thought, you mean George is gonna try to kill himself over a piddly seven grand? So even though millenials and Gen-Z'ers know going in that such a thing could never happen in today's world, "Home Alone" is for them a quaint, old-fashioned holiday staple of cartoonish fun.

And for us folks of the pre-internet generation, in many ways it just doesn't feel like the holidays yet until you do the annual re-watch. It's kind of like an annual meetup with an old friend.

Napoleon (2023)

Worthwhile and ambitious but strangely un-satisfying too

[7/10 · 8 December 2023]

Some of the reviewers on this site have mentioned that one of Stanley Kubrick's unrealized dreams was to create an epic based on Napoleon. Going in, it was going to be a tough subject because it's too hard to distill everything that was Napoleon down to a two to two-and-a-half hour movie. Yet even with the negative reviews, I gambled the price of a $5.50 Tuesdays ticket on this one.

So, it starts with a bang, but for people who have yet to see it, the exact details will be left out. As a francophile, it was great to see the location shots that looked authentic with probably very little CGI. Ridley Scott and the production team create a dark and gritty world of early 19th century France, however.

It helps that the writers give some context of the relationship between Napoleon and Josephine in that they show an arresting scene between Napoleon and Josephine's son early on. They also spare no detail in revealing that Josephine was, um, sort of fickle and lacking discretion. But it was very clear Napoleon loved her no matter what.

A coronation scene appears to take place at one of the spectacular European cathedrals, again a very nice touch, especially for lovers of gothic architecture such as me. And the many battle scenes take your breath away at certain points, one in particular reminiscent of the "Omaha Beach" scene in "Saving Private Ryan" but of course with period uniforms and armaments.

Was Joaquin Phoenix miscast? A more continental-looking, possibly unknown actor may have worked better but resulted in lesser box office. The direction and acting style for Napoleon seems to have been lots of scowling and a montone speaking delivery meaning not much of a challenge for Mr. Phoenix.

And thank you, whomever, for steering clear of making Napoleon's height an issue. Historical evidence points to how he was of average stature, similar to Joaquin Phoenix, and the "Napoleon complex" comes more from greed than grandiose over-compensation anyway.

In all, Napoleon is worthwhile but in the end you just don't care for any of the characters. Maybe the director's cut could help with that?

Terrifier 2 (2022)

Disgusting, over-long, and in the end a disgrace, and I'm a horror fan!

[3/10 · 18 October 2023]

When Terrifier 2 came out, some internet buzz and other publicity talked about how it was the goriest movie ever and that many people had been sickened during various screenings of it. However, some of them may have been sickened by other aspects of this over-bloated, full-of-itself sequel that seems to have been "written" by a comittee of 20 people.

Today is October 18th, and.during the Halloween season, I like to watch a new movie and possibly review it. So, what are the problems of Terrifier 2?

1. No soul. Over two movies., no mention of Art the Clown's backstory or raison d'etre is ever broached. Yes, other movies that have tried to give history to a serial slasher have failed, such as Rob Zombie's Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the Beginning, but for Terrifier 2, this means all the onscreen carnage lacks context.

2. It's over-long. The sweet spot for this type of horror movie is about 90 minutes to just short of two hours, tops. This one clocks in at an exhausting 2 hours and 15 minutes with no payoff.

3. Bad acting. So, it's not "Troll 2" bad, which might have made it more interesting, but it's bad enough that you start having thoughts like "I hope they paid these kids a lot to be in this" because with reshots and staging it must have been grueling, which means the characters themselves are un-engaging and you don't "feel their pain."

4. Some of the gore defies physics and is unrealistic. To explain exactly how would create spoilers, so suffice it to say that a lot of it looks like mannequins with squirting blood sacs, which is what it may exactly have been in a couple of cases.

5. It's boring. There is a half-a$$ attempt to create hip dialog between some of the younger characters, but it's gag-worthy and manipulative.

In short, Terrifier 2 is a terrifying waste of time!

Old (2021)

So bad it's somewhat interesting

[5/10 · 21 September 2023]

This title was on Freevee, the free video service that can be accessed from any computer. The movie is only a couple of years "old," so that should give you an idea from the get-go.

This offering falls somewhere between the body horror and horror/mystery sub-genres. From the start, the best thing the film has going for it is the musical score, which hits all the right notes for ratcheting tension and bringing about impending doom. Just a few minutes in, though, the terrible acting becomes glaringly apparent.

How bad is the acting? "Robot Monster," "Plan 9 from Outer Space" bad? Almost. Apparently, since his heyday M. Night Shyamalan has a stable of actors he uses for his various projects, and the only actor I recognized from this is Rufus Sewell, who portrayed "Tom the Builder" in the fantastic "Pillars of the Earth" miniseries.

Here, Sewell plays one of the evil protagonists, and he tries gamely, but he and the other characters are bogged down by dialogue so bad it makes one think of '50s shlock horror. For 90% of the movie they are confined to a tropical beach grotto surrounded by cliffs where the characters quickly realized they are growing old at an astonishing rate.

Rick Baker, where are you? M. Night kind of cheated in revealing how the characters age. To say exactly how would be a spoiler but let's just say body horror fans will be disappointed because it's glaringly apparent how low-budget this movie is from the opening credits. At least he managed to get somebody to give it a decent score.

And ay-yi-yi those weird camera angles. Many reviewers have mentioned this, and viewed in the theater they probably caused more than a few migraine headaches. Again though, it's another way he cheats on the premise as stated before.

At the end, there is a mild payoff as the big reveal, one of the director's trademarks, is somewhat interesting. It's kind of a reward for anyone who manages to slog through two hours of terrible dialog and acting.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

It is such an Indiana Jones movie and a fitting sendoff

[8/10 · 6 July 2023]

The reviews for this summer blockbuster have been equal parts vitriol and praise, but it was extremely courageous of everyone involved to make this final installment of Indy and as an Indiana Jones film it completely works.

The opening sequence has gotten lots of attention because it's not a spoiler to say that it occurs in 1944 with a de-aged Indy. The technology for that has improved greatly since "The Irishman" with the slightly creepy Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino visages. Harrison Ford worked out for months to get into shape and it shows. John Williams also has woven in some exciting new music, and he wisely holds back on the signature Indiana theme until the exact right moment in the opening sequence.

From there, the movie fast-forwards into the summer of '69 with extremely detailed set pieces including an Apollo 11 astronauts ticker tape parade (again, not a spoiler since it's on the trailer and word of mouth about it has leaked out). His co-academics at the university where he teaches throw him a retirement party, and at one of his lectures his long-lost God-daughter shows up to warn him about a relic from his past.

From there, it's fairly non-stop action with such scenes as a Cushman style car chase in some hilly and windy Algerian streets and then an underwater scene in the eastern Mediterranean. Wow. Throughout, the producers toss in little nods to the first four movies and manage to address Indy's age and slight wearniness with decades and decades of globetrotting archaeology.

Is it high cinematic art? Not really. Are the performances Oscar bait? Not even close. Does it contain some slightly annoying characters and cheesy moments? Yeah, kind of BUT IT'S AN INDY MOVIE! Just sit back and enjoy it because if you're any kind of a fan of the first four you will love this.

Indecent Proposal (1993)

More nuanced than its reputation but still slightly cheesy

[7/10 · 8 May 2023]

After 30 long years, I have finally gotten around to a full viewing of this movie, which triggered lots of "would you or wouldn't you" questions at the time it was made. Yet, to me the story is more a romance than a quirky one-note premise. It might have been better received and more successful if it had been marketed that way back in '93 instead of focusing on only one aspect.

Yes, the "proposal" forms a centerpiece for the movie, but it occurs almost halfway in and what happens before and after it is much more important. The producers include some delightful flashback scenes between David and Diana, where Woody sports a full mop of hair and Demi wears braces and they really seem like two giddy teenagers.

Then, there is the arresting scene in a Vegas hotel room where David tosses thousands of dollars onto the bed while Diana writes around seductively among them, nude of course. Has anyone ever made a still of that? As many other reviewers have said, Demi was at the height of her allure in this and the cinematographers and lighting people accentuate that at every turn. Her voice also sounds better in this than in "Ghost" or "A Few Good Men."

Then, she meets John Gage, the Robert Redford character, who sees her in a store window and offers to buy her a $5,000 dress she has been eying. Things quickly develop where Diana helps John win $1 million at the craps table before "the proposal," another detail often left out in the discussion.

For the proposal itself and the acceptance of it, the story mostly switches to David's viewpoint, which was a wise move. When his lawyer buddy Jeremy (Oliver Platt being very Oliver Platt-ish) helps draw up a contract and the contract gets consummated, David immediately realizes his mistake and tries to stop Diana.

The scenes with John and Diana are very classy, too. Maybe it's a bit of a spoiler, but if you're expecting to see a hot sex scene with Demi and Robert, you're gonna be disappointed. They never even show him deeply kissing her.

The final act deals with the fallout, and it's what truly elevates the movie from the sleaze-fest it might have become in the hands of a more sensationalist director. For the minority such as me, who until yesterday never saw it, here's your permission to go ahead and give it a good, full look. You'll at least be entertained even though some scenes (because of Woody Harrelson's acting chops) are difficult to watch.

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

As a rock biopice it's a 9, but overall 7, with one stunning scene

[7/10 · 22 April 2023]

Well, maybe it's because I never was a huge fan of Queen. A friend used to wear out "Killer Queen" when we were in high school, and my first impression was that they sounded like a rock version of a barbershop quartet.

Bohemian Rhapsody the song was certainly different. A little known fact was the influence of 10CC's "One night in Paris" on the arrangement and the style of that song. Later, Queen scored big with "We will rock you/We are the champions," which to this day is a popular anthem at sporting events and other types of public spectacles.

To the writers and producers credit, the story skirts around the edges of Freddie Mercury's sexuality, which was a popular topic during his time, and it stays clear of too many party and debauchery scenes, where it may have gone with a different director (think Quentin Tarantino or Oliver Stone).

Instead, the story explores it in one of the most stirring non-musical scenes of the entire movie, when Mary Austin gently confronts him on how his sexuality has dampened their relationship. And he is supportive but hurt at the same time when Mary later introduces him to her new boyfriend.

The narrative involves the other band members more than other biopics such as the Doors, where they were relegated to bit players whose sole purpose seemed to be providing reaction shots for Jim Morrison's antics. At least two scenes with the band stand out, but it would spoil it for those who have yet to see the movie to describe them in detail.

The heart-wrenching scenes provide context for the Live Aid, 20 minute stunner in the movie's final act. Overall, Rami Malek deserved the Oscar for fully embodying Freddie Mercury, but credit should also go to the makeup artists, choreographers , and coaches who helped him.

Truly, the movie's final act will have you smiling, cheering, singing and crying at the same time, so if you have yet to see it, SEE IT!

Megan Leavey (2017)

Even though I'm a cat lover and a Met's fan ...

[8/10 · 10 April 2023]

... I still liked this movie.

Many of us can relate to Megan's character, who has maybe had a little trouble finding herself or has gotten in trouble after a night of partying too hard. When the Marines punish her by making her clean up kennels for a whole week, she becomes fond of the dogs there and finds purpose in training them and bonding with a specific German Shepherd, Rex.

Megan and Rex go through many missions together where Rex' sniffing abilities help to find enemy weapons caches or explosive devices. The combat scenes seemed realistically harrowing and tense though I haven't watched many of these kinds of movies and may lack appropriate comparisons.

Rex the German Shepherd does save some lives of Marines in a fire fight when he throws himself against one of them to knock him out of the way of enemy fire. And when Megan tumbles out of the Hummer and into the Irag desert, he jumps out, runs to her and exhorts her to make it back so they can scramble back inside the Hummer.

Megan gets hurt, resigns, tries to adopt Rex who instead gets pressed into more service, and the last act shows a couple of heartwrenching departures, but it all ends well. And yes, it's very moving and brought tears to my eyes.

Other reviewers have suggested that the story was sensationalized, but who really cares? That's why they say it is "based on a true story." To me, it's the story of the bond between an animal and its handler first and a movie about war second. Kate Mara does a great job as the title character and the movie inspires and entertains.

The Room (2003)

Thoughts about "The Room"

[4/10 · 26 March 2023]

The revival theater/playhouse near where I live is screening a 20th anniversary showing of this movie where they are charging $10 a ticket. Instead of going to that show, I found the DVD at the library for free.

So, where to start? The trivia entries for this title make for very interesting reading. While the end result seems like a project a group of friends did on a lark as an extended take on an SNL skit, the methods used for production (shooting on video and 35mm simultaneously), Tommy Wiseau's almost Kubrick-ian style of takes after takes after takes, and the fact that a simple film like this took six months to shoot means Tommy is talking out of his a%& when he said he "wanted" to make a bad-good movie from the word go.

Still, it's also good that he made lemonade out of a lemon by participating in midnight showings and accepts his status as a modern day Ed Wood.

Yes, there are so many dangling plot threads one could knit a sweater, and what's up with the guys in tuxes playing football? But it does have a nice score though, and apparently Tommy knew someone who could play piano well.

Cinematically, the most competent part occurs at the end with a nice montage scene while the music hits a crescendo. Also, while it's thoroughly bad from the opening credits until the very end, it's entertaining and watchable, and that is huge feat even if Tommy achieved it by accident.

The Mutations (1974)

Where they got the idea for Troll 2, maybe?

[4/10 · 20 March 2023]

The pay streaming services have carried the same featured stuff for years now, but it is fun to try to find obscure things to watch, such as this.

It was described as a "creepy" horror movie, and at first it encouraged me that it was a British production since they could be counted on for good horror back in the 70s and before then thanks to Hammer and other filmmakers.

However, this was just dumb. On one hand, it sort of wanted to be a "Freaks" style movie since some of the story involved a band of freaks in a freakshow who stayed together as a family in a circle of wagons together. On the other, it tried to be a cutting edge "mad scientist" flick with this particular mad scientist wanting to create a new race of part plant/part human creatures.

Donald Pleasance portrayed the mad scientist, and for some reason acted like he'd just dropped a lude for 99% of the movie. The "monsters" created from mashups of plant, animal and/or human DNA just looked like bad rubber/papier mache things, not scary.

One character is a visiting scientist from the States who delivers his lines in such a wooden way that you kind of wanted him turned into a monster. Maybe that's why it reminded me of Troll 2 because in that movie ridiculous-looking goblins would turn humans into plants so that they could eat them, but in this the mad scientist turns humans into half plant/half human beings with murderous tendencies.

It's all very silly, but unfortunately not so-bad-it's-good silly. They did find lots of good-looking Brit young men and women to star in it though, apart from the freak creatures.

Halloween Ends (2022)

Can it end, please?

[4/10 · 19 February 2023]

To me, it seemed surprising that "Halloween Ends" ended up on Prime less than a half-year after its release. Unless the movie was made for Prime, then this is a tipoff that something was off about the movie.

About halfway through, I found myself clicking the remote to see how much of the movie was left. This means I'm not enjoying it, and it's better just to give up rather than soldier on to the end.

There are 13 Halloween movies with the Michael Myers and Lori Strode characters, not counting the two Rob Zombie remakes (which are both pretty entertaining), so it's possible that too much time has passed and too many other threads in the intervening movies with Laurie and her kids.

For this movie, a new character named Corey gets introduced and it seems like they are setting him up to be a sort of puppeteer for Michael Myers, but again the film failed to reel me in to find out more or see how Michael Myers gets killed this time.

One thought; it's very refreshing that Jamie Lee Curtis has chosen to age naturally, and it was interesting that they made her look like she did in the first two movies, except yeah, 40 years older.

Me Time (2022)

Netflix, I want my 1.5 hours back!

[4/10 · 19 January 2023]

The title of the review is a bit of the misnomer because "Me Time" was something playing on the background during breakfast and morning chores.

Still, it managed to catch my attention but not in a good way. Where to begin? The movie does begin with a BASE jumping scene that shows some good effects and photography. It's established that Huck (Walberg) and Sonny (Hart) like to celebrate birthdays in a big way.

After that, the movie veers into "so bad it's interesting" territory. What is so funny about a man getting caught masturbating by his wife and preschool daughter, or a tortoise getting almost run over by an SUV, or a grown man taking a dump on someone's bed?

Yes, you read that right. Kevin Hart ends up taking a small dump on his perceived rival's bed, and it's an unwitting metaphor for this movie. There is also a scene with the least imposing loan shark in history coming to collect his due.

In fact, a documentary about the making of this movie may have been way more fun, when both Hart and Walberg continually say "You want us to do what?" and then the shennanigans that ensue when the directors and producers try to cajole them. Walberg is capable of great performances, but Kevin Hart is still riding the loud little black man schtick and it's getting annoying.

The movie does contain some interesting casting choices such as John Amos for the father-in-law role. It's good to know he's doing well. Also, Seal shows up in a nifty party scene. Neither of them rescue this movie from the thought that probably goes through more than one mind while watching it; someone actually gets paid to write this trash?

Downsizing (2017)

Excellent first half but goes off the rails quickly after

[6/10 · 11 January 2023]

This came up on my Prime feed for watching after a hard day of work.

At first, the concept was intriguing and compelling. Solve some of the worlds problems with overpopulation and resource straining by allowing people to be "downsized" to approximately 5 inches, or roughly the same size as an action hero doll. There is even a "Truman" style all-encompassing village for them all to live in luxury in downsized mansions that would fit onto a real life dining table.

The leads, Matt Damon and Kristen Wiig, are always bankable for bringing interesting characters to life, and the whole downsizing process for Matt Damon is breathtaking. That all happens in roughly the first half of the movie, but things go downhill fast after Christoph Waltz enters the picture as Matt Damon's obnoxious upstairs neighbor.

First off, earlier scenes show the Matt Damon character, "Paul" taking up residence in one of the Lilliputian mansions with his own yard around it. However, he later appears to live in some type of highrise with elevators without any explanation of why he moved (or maybe I missed it).

By the time the Paul character helps an Asian refugee and ends up visiting the "slum" of the small people neighborhoods to help a disadvantaged small person, I found myself clicking on the screen to see how much of the movie was left. Forty-five minutes? Ugh.

So chalk it up to bad execution or bad scriptwriting, but to me there's little wonder why the movie failed massively at the box office, reaping only a fraction of its production costs, bloated because of the breathtaking special effects from the first half. Eventually, I may see the final 45 minutes since Prime allows you to pick up where you left off, but I certainly won't go out of my way to do it!

Halloween (2007)

One of R.Z.'s better offerings and a good companion to the original

[8/10 · 30 December 2022]

Well, he must have known he was gonna have comparisons, some fair and others unfair, to the original 1978 movie. Does anyone else besides me, though think that the original movie lacked some context items? Would maybe even one scene in the asylum between Loomis (Donald Pleasance) and a young Michael Myers have helped? Could they have established the Lori Strode-Michael Myers connection in the first one insteading of blindsiding viewers with it in the second?

Rob Zombie dares to flesh out the details. For me, the opening sequence worked crazy-well and is nearly stolen by Zombie stable player William Forsythe playing hilariously against type in a white trash breakfast scene. Later, bullies get ahold of young Michael in school, and from then on the carnage ensues.

It also worked to show the early relationship with Loomis and Michael and also show him interacting with the mother (wife Sheri plays a stripper) and the school principal. Malcolm McDowell makes a better Loomis for me than Pleasence.

Yes, it's like two movies in one as other reviewers have stated, and the second half basically becomes "the night Michael came home." There is plenty of gore for fans of that horror movie aspect with a few surprises thrown in. It's well worth a watch during your Halloween scary movie marathons or any other time you want to see a well-done shocker flick.

Breaking Bad: Peekaboo (2009) Season 2, Episode 6

Late 2000s version of the classic movie "The Kid."

[10/10 · 2 December 2022]

Today, December 2022 is into my annual re-watch of the greatest TV show of all time, "Breaking Bad," and this episode ranks as among my top five. As some reviewers have pointed out, this episode stands alone and fleshed out a little bit more would make a great movie, although it might be difficult to set up the Walter-Gretchen situation and what makes that restaurant scene so poignant.

Kudos to the makeup and art design department for creating the ultra-realistic Spooge and his lady partner characters with their emaciated bodies and meth sores. Maybe around the time the little red-haired boy was born Spooge worked a legitimate medical-related job, but descent into thievery to support drug habits has made a mess of him, his woman, and the house where the family lives.

When Jesse invades that house to attempt to recover stolen meth and/or money, his features contort with disgust at the filth he finds there. Yet, in the middle of it all the little boy nonchalantly walks into the living room, turns on the TV set to the only channel it can receive, and plops onto the couch beside Jesse. This is what causes the emotional punch because if the writing/direction team had shown the little boy as horriied or desperate it would have been way less effective.

The episode contains one of the most graphic yet ironically appropriate endings for not only a BB episode but for a dramatic TV show in general. Aaron Paul submitted it for consideration of a "Best Supporting Actor" award, and it's easy to see why.

Risky Business (1983)

"It's what all you boys off the lake want."

[8/10 · 16 October 2022]

There are the dozens of early-to-mid '80s teen sex comedies and then there is Risky Business.

Being roughly the same age as Tom Cruise and Rebecca DeMornay, when the film first came out of course it was easy to identify with them and sit back and go "wow" at all the stylish scenes such as the famous El train ride paired up with the hypnotic Tangerine Dream soundtrack. 40 years later, it was also fun to re-watch this and think about what makes it still relevant today.

At the time, critics said it lampooned everything from capitalism to the Princeton University admissions process. The writing and directing team made several good choices that helped set it apart from other, more raunchy teen comedies of the time. The best example happens early when Joel (Cruise) and his friend Miles (Curtis Armstrong in his first major role) go to a fancy hotel in downtown Chicago to confront Lana (DeMornay) about some stolen property.

They could have had him barge in and interrupt her conversation with a potential businessman client and say, "Where the F is my mother's egg?" Instead, they have him dressed his bestin a coat and tie, waving a hand to let her know he's there and he's on to her. The whole movie swerves off into a new direction at that point.

Joe Pantoliano as Guido the pimp elevates the story as he plays a cat-and-mouse game with Joel that concludes with a hilarious bargaining and negotiating scene near the end. This was an early role for him, too and he ended up making a nice career playing similar slippery characters, earning the name "Joey Pants" in the business.

All in all, it's rare, contains the iconic undies and socks dance to Bob Seger and shows glimpses of the superstar Tom Cruise would become. Rebecca DeMornay continued to portray alluring women with an air of mystery and danger (Hand that Rocks the Cradle and the recent remake of Mother's Day as the best examples).

It's an 80s time capsule, too and the north suburbs of Chicago have never looked more glamorous, except maybe in "Ferris Bueller's Day off." See it! Share it with your kids!

Thirteen Lives (2022)

Compelling story about a spectacular, unlikely rescue

[9/10 · 11 August 2022]

Ron Howard has created an on-the-edge of your seat suspenseful three-and-a-half hour cinema treat that documents the story of the 12 young soccer players and their coach, trapped in a flooded cave just four short years ago. Many comparisons have been made to Apollo 13, with thousands of people rallying to help three astronauts return home in a broken spaceship, but it's a different type of story reflecting nuances and choices through the process.

First, the story gets told almost entirely from the viewpoint of the parents, the British and Thai rescue dive teams, and the locals who try to divert flood water from the cave. Here and there, the movie manages to show bits and pieces of Thai/Buddhist culture from the way the coach helped the boys to meditate to cope with their ordeal to mention of the "sleeping princess" aspect of the mountain with the cave. Locals outside of the cave are also shown praying at various times.

Viggo Mortenson and Colin Farrell portray two members of the British rescue team, but both go about their roles in a stoic, subdued manner. The actual rescue was even more treacherous than was shown in the film because the murky water in the flooded cave providing nearly zero visibility. As a certified diver myself, cave diving requires extensive training and nerves of steel and that's when the water is spring-fed clear, so this gives one a new appreciation for the brave British and Thai men who had to feel their way around the stalagtites and rock outcroppings.

The delicate balance of anesthetizing the boys and the coach in order to carry them out of the cave represents as complicated a problem as the corridor control burns in Apollo 13 yet the directors wisely avoid overwhelming the viewer with the medical details. They do manage to show how harrowing the 13 rescues were. It was 13 dives through murky water lasting four to five hours long!

In the end, it's a celebration of the human spirit and human ingenuity. Outside the cave, the locals also improvise pipe out of bamboo stalks to help divert water from the cave. When all the boys, the coach, and the rescue divers are accounted for, the celebration is a subdued whew of relief rather than a fist-pumping, war whooping spectacle, yet another wise choice for the production team.

See it! Although, if you're claustrophobic some of the action may be hard to watch!

Marry Me (2022)

Yes, it's fluff but it's surprisingly heartwarming, too

[7/10 · 26 July 2022]

The most interesting trivia items on IMDB about this movie are that Jennifer Lopez and Owen Wilson first made a movie. Back in 1997, Anaconda and secondly that she is way more than old enough to be her original fiance's mother. Still, this was an entertaining and well-written movie for what it was.

Kudos to Owen Wilson for getting in great shape to play the love interest character. He comes across like a smarter, wiser character from his Wedding Crasher days but he doesn't look all that different. That was 17 years ago!

The heartwarming parts of the story happen when they both spend time alone and Owen's character gently challenges her to do more things for/by herself. At the very predictable ending, she does go to great lengths to get to him, by herself. Owen's daughter and Sarah Silverman as a wacky co-teacher also liven things up.

There is some nice singing that transcends the normal J-Lo style and also adds a nice backdrop to the story. It's just overall heartwarming and worthwhile.

No Solicitors (2015)

Eric Roberts must have needed the money

[3/10 · 25 March 2022]

Coming from a person who appreciates well-done shock cinema and horror, well this just wasn't.

Eric Roberts was once an up-and-comer who started with the compelling movie "King of the Gypsies" and also was brilliant as Paul Snider in "Star 80," but those were both a long time ago.

This movie is a cheap piece of trash hoping to capitalize on the Hostel and Saw "extreme torture" genres, but someone forgot to get a decent script and decent actors. I thought at least the vicious, psychotic cannibals would get their comeuppance at the end but no. If you're any kind of fan of horror or even torture porn, steer clear.

Somewhere in Time (1980)

The kind of movie they don't show on streaming services ....

[8/10 · 12 March 2022]

... very often, at least not that I can remember. My VCR, with the old-school stereo receiver for boosted sound, and beamed through a projector for a movie theater feel is a great experience for a beautiful film such as this.

Back in 1980, the movie competed against blockbusters such as The Empire Strikes Back, the spoofs Airplane and Caddyshack, and even another slow-paced romance The Blue Lagoon. Roger Ebert thought the movie was silly, but of course Somewhere in Time has gone on to have a cult following which includes yearly festivals themed for it on Mackinac Island, MI, where most of the story was filmed.

Seen more than 40 years after the fact, the movie gains an extra poignance from knowing what eventually became of the leading man, Christopher Reeve. In any case, watching the beautifully lit and beautifully shot sequences with him and Jane Seymour are an exquisite visual treat. The classical music score also makes it very pleasant to listen to.

Interestingly, while Somewhere in Time fared somewhat poorly on American screens after its release, it became a hit in Asia, especially China and Hong Kong, where it played in theaters for 18 months. Why? Possibly it's because Asians then and maybe now were more attuned to mysticism.

Overall, it's touching for its depiction for love at first sight that can transcend decades and dimensions. Leave your cynicism at the door and just sit back and enjoy this two-hour treat.

Forrest Gump (1994)

After 28 years, it's still a classic and changed the lives of those in it

[9/10 · 2 February 2022]

In terms of pure cinematic enjoyment, this movie was definitely one of the best of the 1990s and it probably shows up on many "100 movies to see before you die" lists. People who saw it as children or young adults when it first hit theaters in 1994 are now probably showing it to their kids, so it's definitely a movie that appeals across generations.

Since 99% of people frequenting IMDB must have seen the movie and there are already close to 3,000 reviews of it as of today, this review will try to discuss some less-talked-about details about the story, the production, the music, the characters, and some other aspects of what make "Forrest Gump" so appealing.

First, there's the makeup. Tom Hanks was about 37 while the movie was being filmed, but through a combination of makeup and possible hairline-lowering, along with his incredible acting ability, he really seemed 17 or 18 during the high school scenes.

Robin Wright's makeup as Jenny evolves with both the trials and tribulations of her character and the prevailing styles during all the time periods. She is shown first in early 60s dewy innocence and then doe-eyed and in heavy mascara in some of the later 60s and 70s scenes but also has a "hippie chick" aura around the time when Jenny and Forrest meet in Washington.

Gary Sinise as Lieutenant Dan Taylor goes through the most drastic transformations of any character, going from conservative military to full-on hippie and then back again to conservative at the very end. As a result of the character and his work in the movie, Gary Sinise became an outspoken veteran's advocate through his "Lieutenant Dan" persona.

For Bubba, the Mykelti Williams character, his defining facial characteristic was so convincing that producers were shocked to learn it was not real when they wanted him to portray "Bubba-like" characters in other comedies. So, did the movie win the award for best makeup? No, that honor went to "Ed Wood," which oddly was a black-and-white film.

Two themes for which the story and movie get criticized are that the message is that if you obey orders you will succeed in life, but this aspect reflects the earnest innocence of the Forrest Gump character. It just wouldn't occur to him to do otherwise, the same as when the reporters met him at the Mississippi River bridge to ask him why he kept running across the country (was it for the homeless? Women's rights"). He said, "I just felt like running."

The other criticism is that Jenny takes advantage of Forrest and only defaults to him when she has exhausted all her other options and is literally dying. Yet, Jenny's character was abused. The narratives make this very, very clear ("Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far away from here.").

Abused people, and especially abused women have lots of difficulty finding themselves, which is so deftly shown in the movie by her vagabond adventures in the hippie counterculture and then the cocaine-fueled disco era, so her approach/avoidance antics with Forrest make way more sense when looked at in that light.

Jenny's showing up at the end, to me and a few other reviewers, parallels a famous Voltaire classic, "Candide." Yes, she comes home to him at the end, but he loved her all along. One of the movie's truly beautiful moments happens right after Forrest describes what he'd seen on his cross-country runs and some of the unexpected beauty in Vietnam and she says, "I wish I could have been there with you." Forrest just says, you were.

Forrest Gump is and was an experience movie, the kind you can't watch just once. Finally, the musical score by Alan Silvestri really added to it, especially in the beginning credits, which I won't describe here in order not to ruin it for the one percent who have yet to see it. What the hell are you waiting for?