crudupfan Reviews

Mystic River (2003)

okay, a little boring

[1/10 · 13 October 2003]

I did not read the book or any of these reviews before trudging

through this gloopy hammy film. I won't bore you with the plot,

here's what I think of the acting;

Sean Penn- go for that Oscar Sean! Act your heart out! It worked for

Nic Cage, maybe that over the top stuff can work for you too!

Kevin Bacon- well done, a little heavy on the clenched jaw.

Tim Robbins- why were you cast?

Marcia Gay Harden- your lips are amazing and did a fine job.

Laura Linney- where was your accent from?

Laurence Fishburne- you were the best of the bunch, but sadly

underused. Why did you do this film?

A better question would be, why wasn't the film cast with Laurence

Fishburne as the lead role? Okay, maybe the book wasn't about an

African American dude, but he was so obviously the best actor of

this bunch, it would've really made the film work.

This movie I see is getting a lot of hype for THE OSCARS!!! and I

think it's because it's been such a lousy year for movies. I mean,

really, this and Lost in Translation? Please.

American Splendor (2003)

Great.

[1/10 · 13 October 2003]

At last, a great film. Interestingly told, refreshingly filmed, and well

acted (with the odd exception of Hope Davis' terrible and

distracting wig).

Paul Giamatti does a wonderful job of impersonating Harvey, who

is also in the film.

The supporting roles are perfectly cast, and the script is dark but

touching in a weird way.

This is, without a doubt, the best film so far of 2003. I hope it

doesn't get lost in the shuffle.

Thirteen (2003)

Worth seeing.

[10/10 · 19 September 2003]

I wasn't expecting too much when I saw this, and was horribly and wonderfully surprised. It features some of the best acting in films this year, and a plot that is both gripping and terrifying.

Evan Rachel Wood is a star, see her now- it's like watching a young Meryl STreep. I loved her on the tv show Once and Again, and she's just continued to become one of the greatest youngest actors working today.

Nikki Reed, who co-wrote it, is also excellent, and together they make for a hell on wheels couple of mixed up teens, tormenting their poor mother played to perfection by Holly Hunter.

It's hard hitting without trying to be (unlike 21 Grams) and ultimately moving at the end- you can't believe that life is like this for kids in LA, but somehow- you do.

Go out and see this one, you won't be sorry.

Anything Else (2003)

Don't waste your time.

[1/10 · 17 September 2003]

Remember the last ten minutes of ANNIE HALL (a classic that I love)? Woody writes a play about his experiences, and two college kids audition for the roles.

That's what this entire movie is like to watch.

Jason Biggs has the rather unfortunate job of portraying the 'Woody' role, and he does so by putting on a coat and a deep voice. The effect is like watching your child put on your shoes and coat and walk around pretending to be mature.

Christina Ricci preens and poses to better effect, but still one would have to suspend all disbelief to imagine her having a deep thought in her head at all.

ENTIRELY miscast, Woody plays the role Danny DeVito is perfect for, Danny DeVito plays the role Woody is perfect for, and there are several 'hot young things' who have one or two lines here or there.

The whole affair left me remembering when Woody Allen cast his films with care, rather than looking at the box office and finding the latest hot young thing. I ended up feeling sorry for all the actors, and rushing out to rent MANHATTAN, which, like Annie Hall, remains a classic, and will always be there to remind us of what once was with Woody Allen.

Matchstick Men (2003)

Boring and long.

[1/10 · 3 September 2003]

Once again, Nicolas Cage (and his free-wheelin' toupee!) ham it up beyond recognition. Not that I mind- his continual devotion to sacrificing any semblance of story for attention grabbing histrionics have often livened up even the most banal money gigs (see any of his 'sunshine trilogy'), but this time he practically mops up the screen with his poor talented co-stars.

And talented they are- Sam Rockwell and Allison Lohman struggle valiantly to keep concentrated and focused on the STORY, which is slim at best. A con man who reunites with his daughter (really conveniently, with the help of his shrink, played by a great actor) and then they go on a con.

I enjoyed it at moments, but the last half got really long and plot driven. The con didn't make much sense, and- as always- Cages ham fisted approach and "look at me, ma, I'm acting!" wore as thin as his hair.

Overall I'd give this one a 4. Good for a rainy day but best seen with a pause and fast-forward button handy.

Shanghai Knights (2003)

Ho-hum.

[1/10 · 28 January 2003]

Not since "I Spy" have I been as surprised at the lack of talent coming out of Hollywood.

I won't go into the minimal mind-blowingly numb plot or ridiculous characters or cheap and television-esque way it was filmed.

It's meant to be a comedy, and there are a few chuckles, but overall- more mindless stupidity and vacant jokes, you'll forget you saw it in an hour. Unfortunately, it's taken me a little longer to forget it, but just thought I'd warn you- unless you're 12, you're better off doing your taxes than sitting through this.

You've been warned!

Maid in Manhattan (2002)

Kind of boring.

[2/10 · 9 December 2002]

It's fun to wonder what bills Ralph Fiennes had to pay off so badly that his agents forced him to do this film, but other than that there's not much to viewing this lumbering overblown 'cinderella' story. J-Lo stars as a poor hispanic person who cares, but really it turns out her life would be so much better if she just hooked up with the right rich white man. I would hardly call this movie an enlightened version of the class struggle. (Oddly enough the only film that really dealt with race in a progressive way in J-Lo's 'cannon' would be Anaconda. I'm not kidding, either.)

Filled with more 'feel good' moments than a treacly Sandra Bullock trailer, this movie may entertain the 9 year olds who rushed out to see Glitter, but if you're an adult, just wait for the coverage of her next wedding, it's bound to be more entertaining.