Mmyers2003 Reviews

Love, Honor and Obey (2000)

Has its moments but still an OK film

[6/10 · 5 January 2007]

CONTAINS SPOILERS The thing that has to be remembered is that this film clearly wasn't intended to be serious - We Brits just can't seem to help being cynical in our films.

I think what many people have trouble with is the varying change of style - Sometimes its serious (like the ending) and sometimes its a comedy (the dressing up in bridesmaids dresses etc) and this can lead to confusion over how to receive the film.

The best aspect is the cast - Ray Winstone (deserves proper stardom), Rhys Ifans (One to watch), Jude Law (you already know him), Jonny Lee Miller (another one to watch), Kathy Burke (seriously underrated actress), Sean Pertwee (vastly improved actor).

Overall I liked it for its funny moments. If you decide to buy it yourselves, don't expect a serious Oscar-winning gangster film but rather a cynical view of British crime.

Casino Royale (2006)

Craig is the Bond God

[19 November 2006]

It was excellent. The plot, the bond (Craig was outstanding), the style/tone, the characters. Everything was just perfect. The comic book gimmicks and no-brainer story lines have been replaced in favour of more gritty undertones and mature plot twists. Lets not forget too that its the first time in 25 years that they have used a genuine Ian Fleming story.

***SPOILER*** I even like the new thing of leaving the film open ended. A nice touch and a near certainty that the next film will be just as good as this one ***SPOILER END***

One more thing I would like to bring to the attention of you all. There is a website out there called craigisnotbond.com. I urge anyone that is a true fan of Bond (and of Craig himself) to go there and make your feelings know to them that they are WRONG and that Craig is here to stay.

Brand Spanking New Show (2000– )

Its OK

[6/10 · 10 August 2006]

Best Sketches: Obnoxious Business Man - "Yar Yar Yar Yar Yar. Me Me next Me" Short Bloke - "YOU CALLING ME SHORT?! 'KIN DO YOU!" Tactless Pharmacist - "MEINA! Give this man his penal Ointment"

Worst Sketches: Everything else not listed above

Don't get me wrong, Harry is still a funny man, but this series just had more misses than hits this time round (as opposed to his original series). Sometimes this show even gives the impression he didn't quite have enough ideas so just made them up in 5 mins (Renault Espace sketch, Richard and Kenneth sketch etc) Its a shame that his "...and chums" series isn't available yet on DVD. Would love to see Tim-nice-but-dim, Stavros, The Slobs, Kevin & Perry again.

Screen Two: The Firm (1989) Season 5, Episode 8

Top Film

[10/10 · 1 February 2006]

Firstly, I'd like to say that the first two reviewers for this film have completely missed the point. I could easily take their reviews apart.

This film is as true as can be to portray how the hooligan had evolved from the 70's. The culture had swiftly moved onto the lower-middle classes by the 1980's. No longer did they need to be "Skinheads" or "Working class scum" who used the movement as a means to protest against the state.

In order for the hooligans to survive they had to become more intelligent and more cunning to outwit the police. The football shirts were put in one draw and the suits and cotton shirts were pulled out of another - the element of disguise.

Gary Oldman is Bex, the hilarious yet psychotic estate agent who has one goal - to be top boy in Europe. Along with his crew, The ICC, Bex puts it to two other rival firms that he wishes to lead them all into Europe...but they're having none of it. They let him know that the only way he will get that position is if his best ten can beat theirs.

As well as trying to keep him marriage together Bex battles his way to becoming "top boy"...but does he actually succeed? Alan Clarke's films are always witty, gritty and as realistic as they can get. Its a shame the man made only one more film before being taken from this world (cancer) in 1990.

More realistic than "Football Factory" and "I.D", its highly recommended you watch this Made-For-TV classic.

Little Britain (2003–2006)

Funny but shouldn't make anymore than it has

[14 April 2005]

Got the first series DVD, got the Comic relief special DVD and will get the second series DVD...but thats where it should now stop because eventually it'll all go wrong. Catchphrase comedy doesn't have a very long shelf life at all.

I agree that it shouldn't really be praised as groundbreaking or one of the best Brit comedy shows. People from outside Britain will begin to think that we've lost our famous comedy touch or that this is ALL we can do (which of course isn't true), but it does still deserve some credit for what it does. Glad to see Andy and Lou won the top 50 sketches program this year but maybe its only due to hype that it did, the parrot sketch will and should be back at the top by next year as that truly is a classic.

Overall. I do like the show and often finding myself quoting it, but even I know as an admirer that it should finish here.

Filthy Rich & Catflap (1987)

A brilliant show

[19 March 2004]

It strikes me as odd that decent shows like "Filthy, Rich and Catflap" are forgotten when dung heaps like "Mad About Alice" and "All About Me" are aired frequently to an audience of about 7 people and pointlessly recomissioned for extra crappy series.

After Ben Elton finished "The Young Ones", he went on to create this brilliant little sitcom. Its such a wonder that it never went on further but I guess that Elton had other projects to go back to such as "Blackadder 3", Rick was signed to ITV to do "The New Statesman" whilst Nigel Planer entered the world of musicals, so inevitably the show couldn't have gone any further and its just these 6 episodes that we have to savour.

The show evolves around Ritchie Rich: a talentless forgotten has-been who still believes in his mind that he is famous and in the public eye, Ralph Filthy: a dirty minded, unhealthy man who is also Ritchies theatrical agent and Eddie Catflap: The drunken minder/bodyguard of Ritchie Rich.

Heres a couple of examples of what you'd expect on the show (spoilers within):

RITCHIE: Eddie, these are brilliant pics of Midge Ure with Thatch. The newspapers will pay us loads for them.

EDDIE: Why don't we take the pics to Midge Ure and see what he'd pay for them.

RITCHIE: Eddie? Are you suggesting we blackmail one of the worlds greatest rock and roll stars?

EDDIE: No, I'm suggesting we blackmail Midge Ure.

---------

RITCHIE: How do you plug this bloody typewriter in?!

FILTHY: Have you just spent the last 4 hours trying to plug the typewriter in?

RITCHIE: But this thing is just bloody stupid. Look at the plug: two pins at the top, one pin at the bottom. The socket in the wall has to one pin at the top and two pins at the bottom. I mean it just defies logic all together

FILTHY: Oh how infinitly depressing. You've got it the wrong way up, daughter.

RITCHIE: Oh I see. What, so I'm supposed to just go in there and turn the wall upside down, am I?

If you ever get the chance to buy the video tapes (which thankfully I have) then take it. You won't regret it.

Mad About Alice (2004)

You know that brown stuff that drops out of your anus...

[30 January 2004]

...well this sitcom is something that very much resembles brown stuff. I've never had to witness anything quite as terrible and unfunny as this. I've seen car crashes that look less painful and more funny than this. Amanda Holden and Jamie whats-his-name aren't exactly the worlds greatest comic talents. And the other actors involved aren't very good either. I'm even writing this review whilst watching it and its not getting any better.

If you ever get a really aching tooth and need to pull it out, watch this at the same time, that way you won't feel any pain.

If not, don't watch this at all.

Spice World (1997)

these kind of films don't work

[2 January 2004]

Films that are made literally to promote/cash in someone never work. heres the evidence:

Crossroads, IMDB Rating: 3.2, Stars/promotes: Britney Spears

Spice World, IMDB rating: 3.0, Stars/promotes: The spice girls

From Justin to Kelly, IMDB rating: 1.6, Stars/promotes: Justin and Kelly (American Idol)

Gigli, IMDB Rating: 1.8, Stars/promotes J-lo and Ben affleck

Every single one of these films are made for two reasons: to promote dying careers and to cash in. Everyone of these films doesn't care less about the plot or the audience, its prime focus is Britney or J-lo or whoever. Get it straight film producers WE ARE NOT IDIOTS. we know what your doing, it doesn't work so stop it now. take the rating on this site as a guide to your attempt at promotion and go as far away as possible.

RoboCop 3 (1993)

Not very good

[2 January 2004]

I can't remember if I've already reviewed this or not but, oh well, here goes.

Robocop 1 - Good

Robocop 2 - OK

Robocop 3 - What the F**k was the point?

My number 1 wish for the robo trilogy is that they should've followed the Terminator pattern and made the films darker. Forget all the comic book crap and the flimsy plots. Robo 1 was good but it would have been even better as a darker film series. Its no wonder these films never rivalled the Terminator series, its impossible for them to do so. The idea and character of Robocop is brilliant, it just could've be used 1000 times better. R3 doesn't do much to help the series at all. I mean Ninja Robots?!?! That was the point in the film when you just knew the film was dragging itself along a bed of needles by the testies.

Robocop 3, Your are the weakest link, goodbye.

Rude Boy (1980)

Drags on rather a long time...so it feels anyway

[2 January 2004]

I still remember sitting in my living room, in front of the TV and I was getting quite bored. Several times throughout the film I got up and was ready to turn off because I thought it was about to end...but then suddenly, it carrys on. I only carried on watching due to curiosity. I think i was getting to a point where I was hoping Ray would get shot in the head from close range or something similarly exciting would happen.

I love the Clash and have no critisism towards them, its just this film was abit pointless. Half the time, you don't know what Ray is talking about. If he was a friend of mine, I've have punched him in the face before I'd said "Hi" to him.

Anyway, watch it if you want but I'm not anymore. I now have the incredibly hard task of selling the DVD to someone stupid enough. If I get 20p for it I'll be happy.

The Transporter (2002)

I think alot of you are missing the point.

[3 October 2003]

Alot of you have slattered the film because of unoriginality. There is something about this film that, if your not from the UK or don't know who Jason Statham is, you will find difficult to understand why the movie is the way it is. This film was never intended to be a great classic to go down into film history. The film was purely made to introduce Jason Staham to the action movie audience. Its was nothing more than a test. Anything else he does would, I'm sure, be ten times better and more original. It was produced very quickly so they could advertise his talent quickly. Thats why the story is so simple and the idea is very much a common one. This film was made just to help project Jason into the world of Hollywood action and to be honest he definately deserves it. The stunts were ALL done by himself (apparently he is highly trained in martial arts IRL) and he acts really well too.

Sure the film is definately not original but when you consider what I've told you, you can understand why its such a plainly simple film. I still enjoyed watching it but only because of Statham and his great acting, unbelievable martial arts and suitability to action movie roles.

So please, when you review this film, bare in mind everything I've told you above before reviewing it.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Great Film.

[26 April 2003]

The film does very well. Brosnan is a very good choice for a bond. Many say he's become more wimpier. Thats untrue. Bond is a character that remains calm in any situation. He doesn't need to resort to using typical Hollywood tough guy talk when he has a gun to his head. Only an idiot would annoy a terrorist like that. The film is entertaining and doesn't disappoint me at all.

I do agree with Silverzero when he said about the characters not being very memorable anymore. that maybe why alot more people don't seem to like the films as much. Fans and other people like to see a bit of effort and thought go into any film and we all like to see new ideas for characters. The only thing they need to be careful of is making them too unrealistic (ie. A man with a rocket launcher arm would be a bad idea for an enemy)

Alot of people complain that the bond series uses the same formula but so do most Hollywood action films. ALL action films use the same formula so why complain when the bond series does. The only difference being that the bond series put them into a series based on the same MI6 character and Hollywood action films use a different actor and a different character each time. Do you see what i'm saying?

The bond series only does what its meant to and thats to entertain me. 10/10 for this film

The Filth and the Fury (2000)

Real punk rock. Top Movie.

[10/10 · 24 April 2003]

Forget the New York Dolls, Forget The Ramones, Forget the "So-Called" punk rock bands from todays music industry, Forget the American punk scene these guys did it better than anyone else you can think of. This documentary shows us the real Sex Pistols. The 4 (or should we say, 5) lads who were out to show people what life was really like. The documentary is so well made and even has plenty of funny things too like the animations of the band. We even get an insight into how it began and how it ended and the real truths that they all felt at the time and how they feel now. Johnny Rotten said himself how he hates the fake punk rockers (I think he means people like Blink 182, Good Charlotte etc) who ruined the ideologies that punk stood for. The rebellion and the anarchy that it was meant to be about. The Sex pistols were the most controversial music act ever. More so than Eminem himself if were honest. These guys deserve every credit they get for the way they changed music forever. In the 26 months of there existence they've worked their arses off. They were constantly working for the entire time to achieve all that they did (the gigs and interviews etc) and its all told and shown to you in this film. You definately need to watch this Documentary. It is something i shall be watching over and over again. 10/10

The World Is Not Enough (1999)

A general review of the entire Bond series

[20 April 2003]

I'd rather just do a review of the series as a whole than on each film (as there is too many). My review may seem slightly biased as i am a fan of the series.

The first ever action film was introduced to the world when Dr No was released in 1962 staring Sean Connery who made an absolutely great performance as bond (1962-1971) in his other bond films such as "From Russia With Love", "Goldfinger", "Thunderball", "You Only Live Twice" and "Diamonds Are Forever". In these films we got great characters like Pussy Galore - A more head strong woman than most, Odd Job - The hat throwing Korean Wrestler, Dr No - The Metal Handed Maniac and Ernst Blofeld - The lead tyrant of Spectre. The earlier films had a distinctive style to them. A 60's style of filming. The films were classics and so was Connery. The only break he had was when Australian model George Lazenby was offered and accepted his single role as bond in the 1969 film "On Her Majesty's Secret Service". The film was entertaining but it seemed that maybe he wasn't such a good bond as Connery, who returned to the series in 1971 to do his final Bond film "Diamonds Are Forever". Overall, the Connery films were golden. People always remember the gadgets and girls that he had. The films never failed to entertain even 41 years after the first film was released.

Connery eventually quit the series in 1971. He only returned as bond in the unofficial film "Never Say Never Again" in 1983. It was Roger Moore whop was to replace Connery in 1973 with his debut Bond film "Live And Let Die". The syle had changed slightly but not in any bad way. Moore proved to be a good replacement as bond and made the biggest number of films in the bond series totalling seven. His other great classic beside "Live and Let Die" was "The Man With The Golden Gun". A brilliant film that is probably one of the most famous of the films made in the series. Like the Connery films, Moores era brought some memorable people into it. Unforgetable people like Tee-Hee - The large claw handed black man, Scaramanga - The man with the golden gun and Jaws - The Giant metal mouthed strongman. After the first two films, moore went on to appear as bond in 5 more films called "The Spy Who Loved Me", "Mookraker", "For Your Eyes Only", "Octopussy" and "A View To A Kill". Roger Moore's films were again classics but one or two seemed rather rushed. Overall his era was very good and his performance was excellent.

Moore gave up in 1985 after being the longest reigning actor as bond (1973-1985) and was replaced 2 years later by Timothy Dalton. Though Dalton only made 2 films in the bond series (1987-89), he was a brilliant actor to play bond. Dalton's first film "The Living Daylights" was the better of his 2 films. This was followed by "License to kill" in 1989. Dalton was a dark horse in the film series. Someone who I believe could have easily of gone on longer to be an even greater success. His two films were probably better than other past bonds films like "Moonraker" and "For Your Eyes Only".

The series had its longest break of 6 years before it was decided to bring it back again. Though Dalton may have still been young enough to do the series, they opted to go with a new star. His name was Pierce Brosnan. Someone who the role fitted perfectly. His debut film "Goldeneye" was released in 1995. His other films include "Tomorrow Never Dies" from 1997 and "The World Is Not Enough" in 1999 He, as we all know, is the current bond. His recently released fourth film "Die Another Day" has proved to be a great success like so many of the other films before it. From the films hes made so far, Pierce is definately a top well made choice for a bond actor. It seems that he'll be missed once he does eventually leave. Its hard to imagine exactly who could replace him afterwards. His films have made the bond series more energetic and highly explosive. Classic charatcers have returned in such forms as Boris - The computer wizard, Zukovsky - The limping Russian fatcat and Renard - The bullet-brained mad man.

This Great British film institution will go on to fill more pages in the book of film success and be an even greater success in World Cinema History. London's Pinewood Studios doors will always be open for use and hopefully Bond will still be working for MI6.

James Bond, the Icon of Action Heroes.

Snatch (2000)

Good film

[12 March 2003]

Brilliant film. Guy does well. Shame hes gone off Gangster films and moved onto childrens films (so i've heard anyway, this may have changed again). I need to mention a couple of things however. Alot of people keep saying how Brad Pitt is hard to understand in this film. Thats the point of it. Your not meant to understand what hes saying. He's playing the part of a think gypsy boxer (its not cockney as someone say and its not a think english accent as someone else said. Anyway get this film and please don't have Tarantino in your mind all the time whilst watching it, Tarantino didn't invent the Gangster genre and any films that come after his aren't not copies or rip offs, hes not the inventor. I hope guy does come back with something else though. His films are great and really show the London unerworld well.

Coupling (2000–2004)

Poorly written copy of an American show

[6 January 2003]

I'm sitting here right now writing this review wondering to myself "Why the hell does anyone find this sitcom so funny?". I can't see where the hilarity is in this show. You'd have to have a weird sense of humour to laugh at this. Please someone tell me where the laughs are here. It seems to struggle to get a laugh all the way through. Surely the BBC can produce something better than this. Where did the days of Blackadder, The young ones and only fools and horses go? I've always found that about 1975 to 1995 were the best years of comedy here in the UK. These modern comedies are just so dull and unfunny, it makes you wanna throw the TV out of the window.

Can you believe that the Americans are doing a copy of coupling. Let me get this straight, they are gonna copy a sitcom from Britain thats a British copy of one of there own American sitcoms. Coupling is Friends but British and the Americans want to copy it??? Well i'm glad to see they really thought about it logically. Haven't they had enough of Friends on TV to make another friends replica with a different name and cast. How stupid can you get. Basically as soon as friends has finished, "Friends 2" (U.S coupling) will hit there screens for another probable 10 year reign.

I'll just leave by saying that this sitcom is a waste of a TV license and that i'll just stick to watching my Blackadder video's and DVD's along with the other great sitcoms we once made.

3rd Rock from the Sun (1996–2001)

A stupid idea for a sitcom

[31 December 2002]

It just doesn't seem very good at all. Sometimes, and if its done right, Shouting and hitting people can be funny but like i said it has to be done right by the right people and the blonde fails miserably because she forgot to keep the acting up as well. Like most of you have said, it tended to just run out of originality very quickly and it just really never made me laugh once to be honest.

The Adam and Joe Show (1996–2001)

Best thing to come out of Channel 4 TV

[30 December 2002]

Its a good show. Pity its finished now but still its good to get the "best bits of" videos that are available and i'm sure there will be some reruns. I'm surprised that the BBC never got hold of it. Channel 4 tends not to be a very good producer of comedy shows, the evidence shows in dull programmes like "Smack the pony" and "V Graham norton" which just don't compare to this show. Ad and Joe i hope will be hitting our screens soon with something similar. The toy movies on the show were just classic and very well thought of. Other funny bits include "the anachists" who try to bring down the system pathetically and "people place". The only down point i think is "Baaaad dad" its kinda ruins it all when you think of what else these boys could have put in its place but some of you seem to like it. Good show. 10 out of 10.

Absolutely Fabulous (1992–2012)

Top comedy. UK does it again

[30 December 2002]

Its difficult for me to rate this show because theres nothing else i can say about it that someone else hasn't said. Its funny, Hilarious and above all funny. Watch it if you ever get the chance to. Just read the other reviews to see the evidence in how good this show is.

The A-Team (1983–1987)

Sadly missed but it still rules

[30 December 2002]

I wished it could have gone on forever. B.A.Baracus was my fav character. I just liked his attitude and the way he was to others. It was incredibily popular in the UK. It usually came on at early evening times and you couldn't switch channels. Everytime you watched it you wished it was on everyday. An A-team film is apparently in the works and has been given a green light as well to go ahead so hopefully we'll get a good show. The most famous retro TV show for all ages.

All About Me (2002–2004)

Not great

[29 December 2002]

Jasper Carrott is a brilliant stand up comic and always makes me laugh (Back to the front is evidence enough) but hes only in this disappointment of a sitcom because the producers wanted to get more people to watch it. Its not something anyone will remember in years to come but Jasper Carrott will. Don't watch this show if you want to see Jasper. Watch the show i recommended earlier. This sitcom does him no justice and i tend to find this is the BBC trying to be politically correct as most shows on British TV seem to be trying to do these days. Its also generally not very funny and tends to be too predictable in terms of Joke execution.

Office Gossip (2001)

I'm yawning just thinking about it

[29 December 2002]

I have to say one thing before i start. I hate nice comedies. This is a good example of a nice comedy. As the guy who said before me, its once again a bland comedy with no-one in it that you'd remember in 20 years time. The characters all seem like ones you've seen before in other bad sitcoms that never left the ground. Why they chose to re-use them i don't know. I liked comedies where they may offend slightly (Monty Python, Not the nine o clock news) and sitcoms where they incorporated swearing and violence with sexual references (Bottom, The Young ones) but this does none of them. This is the kind of thing that only some ones Grandparents would watch. It went on TV unnoticed and went off screen just as unnoticed. DON'T WATCH THIS, PUT A DVD OF SOMETHING ELSE ON INSTEAD.

Will & Grace (1998–2020)

Oh look, ANOTHER sitcom set in a flat.

[29 December 2002]

I agree with Kerry heath here, i'm tired of watching endless sitcoms based around roomies sharing a flat together. When does it end? Can the senario change abit and put some interesting people into it. Oh, and romances, thats all that ever happens in these U.S sitcoms. Series after series of just people falling in love with each other. Hasn't anybody thought that maybe its getting alittle too worn out. The show just relies entirely on trying to get a romance together between a gay man and a woman. Life is also not as its portrayed in these types of show. The jokes are ones i've heard before and they are just very predictable. Basically, tedium sets in very quickly.

The New Statesman (1987–1994)

Rik Mayall always suceeds in comedy.

[29 December 2002]

Rik Mayall always makes me laugh i don't think hes ever done a single duff sitcom or comedy routine. Its one of the rare ocassions hes not working along side Ade Edmundson but he still manages to do well. Its a shame theres no reruns of this but then i'm buying them on DVD. I guess we'll have to wait until The tories come back into power before we'll see this rerun. Someone should maybe try the same thing with the labour party.

TC Raymond, Benny hill and the carry on films are old hat and out of date. You'll have to accept that and move along. In my opinion they were boring and i'm glad we've left that era. You don't seem to like alot of comedy do you? Oh well your choice I guess.

Porridge (1974–1977)

Britain does it again. Another master work

[29 December 2002]

This show is definately one of the top ten best sitcoms in Britain and maybe even in the world. Ronnie Barkers best piece of comedy ever. One of the best points about it is the originality and imagination put into the idea of it being set in a prison. Not many 70's sitcoms do very well but this along with Fawlty Towers are exceptions of that decade. Highly recommended to anyone with a decent sense of humour. I just wish we had things like this now instead of "The office" and "Office Gossip", both of which can make a coffee-addicted insomniac fall asleep. Watch this show whenever its on. Best quote:

Mckay: Where's (can't remember name)?

Fletcher: Oh hes outside desecrating holy ground.

Mckay: He's what?

Fletcher: He's having a slash in a church yard.