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Cloud Atlas (2012)
1/10
20 minutes and I was done
15 August 2013
Warning: Spoilers
What an amazingly horrible piece of garbage. Let me see. In the first 20 minutes I saw someone committing suicide, someone casually murdered, a gay guys naked butt in bed with another gay guy, an attractive well dressed woman using the F-word, more unintelligent sprayings of the F-word around like it was some kind of Shakespearean poem. Oh, and a guy taking a dump on a toilet being interrupted by a bunch of weird hooligans also using the F-word a lot.

All I can imagine is that this movie goes into the category of "Let's shock the audience to stimulate their movie saturated brains. Then we'll try to make everything look meaningful and beautiful".

Forgive me for wanting to be stimulated by something intelligent. This was the lowest of the lowest common denominators. Why do they even bother writing a story. Maybe they should instead just show scene of someone being slowly murdered by a naked woman with a dull pair of scissors, and play circus music over the top of it.

This film is sick plain and simple. Some people out there are really messed up.
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Stranded (2002 TV Movie)
10/10
A great adaptation of a classic novel
21 November 2012
This movie is great. It is done with a very detailed eye toward realism. I really like how everything in this story could have actually happened, but it still really gets your attention. Forget about the Disney version, this is far superior. Acting is great, dialog is great, scenery is amazing, and story is of course excellent. I liked how I could show this to my kids and expose them to a real adventure story, plus a story that shows family loyalty and genuine regard for ethics and values. Oh, and guess what, pirates are actually bad guys, imagine that. I felt like I had really stepped into the 1800's. What more could you ask for in an adventure.
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The Rebound (2009)
1/10
Oh my gosh, what a horrible movie
11 September 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Let's start with the positive, KZJ looks good. That's really all this movie had going for it.

I also must confess that she looks too good. I have noticed her face seems to be changing over the years. First she was sexy and Latin American looking and then she started to look oriental for a while and now she looks like that French actress, Audrey Tautou. There is some really amazing plastic surgery being done these days, but we all know that as people get older all that skin tightening starts to look creepy and sadly that time will probably come for her, but for the moment not bad. She is looking overly skinny though. Anyways, I diverge.. about the movie.

What kind of sense of humor is this. Most of he jokes were about as sophisticated as 5th grade potty humor (6th graders would turn up their noses at a lot of these) and the rest were probably funny for people guilty of sex offenses.

For example, baby sitter (love interest) calls parent of 10 year old boy and tells the parent that the child had a 2 foot long poop and that he measured it. Is that funny? Sounds like a reason to call the police to me.

Lets try another one. Disgusting homeless man eating out of a trash can flashes a woman and 2 small children and they actually show him having what looks like a two foot long penis hanging out of his pants. Yah, yah, really really hilarious right. WTF?

Another one. Adorable 8 year old girl dissects a mouse and attaches him to crate paper with his carcass cut open to display his organs. Kind of like a cross between arts and crafts and high school biology. Gee, that is really really funny. NOT!

My wife and I only got half way through this movie. Apparently we were not the right audience for this. Probably it plays very well for people like Jeffrey Dahmer though. A wonderful mix of sex, poop, and violence humor.

KZJ dropping the f-bomb really makes her look pretty too (please note the sarcasm in this statement).

I love crude humor just like any other childish middle aged man, but this movie left me feeling creepy. KZJ must be completely desperate for a part.

You couldn't pay me to watch this again, or watch half of it I should say.
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9/10
Really a good movie
15 January 2012
First of all, I never read the book. Both my older brother and sister read it in middle school, but somehow I missed it. I have been aware of the story for many years though. I am definitely going to go pick up the book now. Furthermore, can anything be more cliché than to pan a movie because it didn't live up to the book. Anyways, I had the luck of going into this movie without that bias.

I have read many other books that involve political analysis, such as George Orwell's 1984 and Animal Farm. I find these kind of topics fascinating.

First of all, I disagree with the people that saw this movie and see it only as "boys go savage". It shows that reviewers simply don't understand the deeper level this movie goes to, which is why do people behaved "civilized" at all. How does a democracy survive? How do dictatorships happen? What is civilized? How do you make people cooperate?

I personally have been in situations, such as adult recreational sports, where I volunteered as a team captain. It's a perfect analogy to Lord Of the Flies, because a team captain has no real authority. I'm not paying people, and I can't kick people off the team, and there are real limits to anything I can do. Every time I have done that there is always some punk that decides he wants to take over, or doesn't have to do what he is told. This happens regardless of how minimally I am trying to dictate anything.

So, how do you prevent anarchy? How do you keep from being overthrown? Every society starts out like this. Sure, once someone gets in power there are many people that can't compete with them, but at the top of any hierarchy is competition and relationships. How is order created?

So, after I watched this movie I thought, what did Ralph do wrong?

Here is my answer. First of all, Ralph should have not created a complete democracy. Instead he should have created a council subgroup of kids that would be elected into their positions. He should have also been elected, and would have easily won in the beginning.

By tying the council members positions to his position, they would have supported him in case of any rebellion. True authority is cemented in affiliation. Also, if someone else wanted to take over they would have had a civilized means to do so, next election, and wouldn't have to resort to rebellion.

Also, anyone not doing their fair of work on the island would have to be judged before the council. This way his authority would have been enforced through a form of group discipline.

Many tribal societies function like this, despite the fact that some might judge them to be "uncivilized". In fact, this is also how modern democracy/representative governments work.

Jack on the other hand did just about everything right in building his brutal dictatorship. He built his own council out of boys that decided to rebel with him from the beginning. So, he already had his power base. He used fear of the monster to create a constant state of emergency to keep people from questioning his authority. He used violence to keep everyone in line, and he eventually attempted to kill off all his opposition.

Stories and movies like this are very important to keep us aware of the way we are manipulated by those who want power. By simplifying the situation they serve as a window to show us how our larger societies function.

If you learn anything from this movie at least learn to be suspicious of any political group that cultivates fear in you of outside forces. By making you afraid and convincing you that "we" are the ones that can protect you, they are using the oldest trick in the book.
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The Endurance (2000)
6/10
Both the movie and Shackleton are overrated
6 November 2008
I really do enjoy adventures and real stories of survival, and this wasn't a bad movie, but let's bring this one back to reality. Most of the reviews here are obviously on the Shackleton band wagon. I think for obvious reasons because no one else but the enthusiasts have even heard of the movie or the book.

Let's start with the movie. It was a bit slow even for a documentary. However, my biggest complaint is the fact that I didn't even know there were deaths on the supply side of his expedition until I read it here on IMDb, and I watched the movie twice, because my wife had fallen asleep during it the first time. Isn't it relevant to the movie? I think the story on the other side the expedition is interesting as well. Why wasn't it told? Perhaps a little bit of Shackleton hype maybe? However, I must say the movie had absolutely stunning photography and does a good job of helping us to live the tail.

Now let's go after Shackleton. His expedition failed so miserably that I can't imagine how he is deemed a great leader. Yes, everyone survived his part of the expedition but only after complete failure of their objective. What were his back up plans for getting stuck in the ice? He had none. The real genius of the expedition seems to have been the "mutenous" carpenter. Maybe if Shackleton had listened to him and built a boat out of the remains of the Endurance they would have been home sooner and in better shape. This same carpenter saved them again by upgrading their life boat so that it could survive the South Atlantic from Elephant Island to South Georgia Island. Yet, even after the expedition was over he continued to punish the Carpenter for his disloyalty. Shackleton seems to be a stereotypical know it all that does not know how to listen.

Let's also pick on the mission. It was an egotistical crusade for nothing. What a waste of time and money. The South Pole had already been discovered. Even if he succeeded he basically accomplished nothing for the world, only for his own ego.

Great leader? I think not.
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