amexspam Reviews

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)

45 minutes too long

[6/10 · 6 June 2023]

When movie studios ran movies, and not the directors, movies used something called "editing", a process that removes repetitive scene structure and meaningless minor story lines. Sadly, roughly 30 years ago the directors gained full creative control, and since they seem to think every second they film is brilliant they are loathe to remove even a minute of it.

Most of the scenes on the planet could easily have been erased - the sofa part is good example/analogy/metaphor because it was putting the audience to sleep (as was the example/analogy/metaphor bit). The acting was good, the special effects were good, the overall theme was good. It was just waaay toooo looong..

Jeopardy! Masters (2023– )

What is "Show that Jumped the Shark"

[3/10 · 22 May 2023]

The answer is Jeopardy.

It was a good show under Art Fleming, it was even better with Alex Trebek. It began to slide when the gimmick of videos was used to ask questions - dragging out and stopping the momentum. It got worse when the contestants figured out how to game the game, which often resulted in one player having such an insurmountable early lead that the other two might as well have gone home after round one.

To get some quick bucks, the company added the joke that was Celebrity Jeopardy and now, scraped bottom by basically having a reunion tour of the recent best players, because the regular audience does not like the new hosts.

Star Trek: Enterprise: Anomaly (2003) Season 3, Episode 2

Enterprise 3.0 - More skin & action

[6/10 · 26 April 2023]

In our last episode we had T'pol topless. In this one we get coed locker room. In both, and going forward, we return to the space western repeat of bad guys, many shootouts, terse and heroic soundbites. What a shame.

I liked the first season because it felt believable. Earthlings were new to deep space, they did not have the most advanced equipment, they sometimes lost the fight, there was a sense of wonderment from the crew in what they were discovering. And they made mistakes. In short, it felt real. But many viewers don't like real, they like bang bang simplistic stories, with nudity if possible.

Star Trek: Enterprise: Cogenitor (2003) Season 2, Episode 22

Comments show flaw of ratings

[8/10 · 20 March 2023]

Film ratings should be about the quality of the film...was the plot well developed....how was the dialogue....did the actors do a good job...and then cinema style, sound, editing, etc. Far too often on this site the show is judged purely on whether the "reviewer" likes the actor, or, as with the low ratings on this above average episode, whether they like the outcome. Which is why one should always ignore the ratings.

Another issue is the site confusing a quality review with a minimum requirement for dribble. And since I am forced to pad I'll mention Minow who said there are some good shows on television.

Route 66: Fifty Miles from Home (1963) Season 3, Episode 23

Convoluted

[2/10 · 14 March 2023]

Here we have a stateside Vet, Linc, still affected by The War - it's a common theme to all wars, not just Vietnam,, but okay. A group of townies/frat boys decide to pick on him because they think he won't fight. But he's pushed too far, and not only wins the fight but hurts the arm of a potential pro basketball player. However, our Vet has no regrets, because, basically, he didn't start the fight. Then, Tod, out of the blue, decides he wants to fight our Vet because even though the Vet was outnumbered 5 to 1 by the fratboys, he had the audacity to fight like a warmonger (i.e. Use judo and some really badly done karate) instead of just using his dukes. Tod then tails the Vet to another town to force him to use his fists instead of that mysterious Asian fighting stuff. After they punch each other to a draw, even Tod finally admits he doesn't know why he was really fighting....a question the audience was also asking. And then the Vet decides to buddy up with Tod who just tried to beat the snot out of him. The whole time you have a girl, Willow, following the Vet around because...well, the answer she gives makes as much sense as Tod's does. The acting was fine. The plot and dialogue was ridiculous.

1899 (2022)

Meh - Predictably Unpredictable

[6/10 · 20 November 2022]

A reworked matrix/twlight zone theme that could have been done much better in 2 or 3 hours, not 8. Positive notes: the acting was generally good, although there was quite a bit of two dimensionality in several of the characters. The initial set up was close enough to being historically accurate that it gets a pass (For example, the first time an onboard wireless telegraph was ever used in a ship was in 1899, and you could justify the one used here by saying this was a very, very advanced Marconi). The story build up was steady, albeit slow, in the first few episodes. Negative notes: The lighting was too dark; I understand this makes the CGI easier to hide, but it was too much. The unpredictable became far too predictable - you knew Alice would head down yet another rabbit hole, and you could almost time it. Far too much nothing time; I normally don't nod off watching television, but this required extra effort to stay awake. Cut the watch time down by 65% and this might even be a 7.5 rating.

The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson: Frank Sinatra/David Janssen/Olivia Newton-John/Ray Johnson (1976) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

Rickles wouldn't shut up.

[6/10 · 12 November 2022]

Sintra was relaxed and open. Frank's voice was betrayed by his 60 years, but he still commanded the stage. And then Rickles came out, constantly interrupted Frank and Johnny. David Janssen was animated and tried to plug his new movie,but Rickles kept interrupting with unrelated word bombs. After David burned him back with a few zings Rickles backed off. However, after Olivia Newton John sat by Johnny after her song and tried to answer questions about her upcoming special, Rickles wouldn't let her finish two sentences in a row without making an inane comment - you could see Olivia getting frustrated and upset. I don't know what Rickles was snorting that night, but he came across as a jerk.

Celebrity Jeopardy! (2022– )

The Answer is "100"

[1/10 · 30 October 2022]

The Question: If you added up the total IQ points of every celebrity contestant, how many points would you have?

"When television is good, nothing is better. But when television is bad, nothing is worse. Sit in front of your television sets for a day, without distraction. I can assure you that what you will observe is a vast wasteland."

• Newton Minow

.

BTW For the 90% that dislike the disfigurement of this web site's pages - doing away with the reference page view on actors, wikipedia still provides clear and concise summaries; much better than the garbage pages now shown here that have received nothing but criticism..

Pinocchio (I) (2022)

Jiminy Grasshopper that was bland!

[4/10 · 24 September 2022]

It really helps if you've never seen the original. The 1940 version was magical and this one was meh. A fifth of the ratings suggest this was the worst movie ever and comments from the 10 raters generally don't argue this was the best movie ever, but are a backlash against the "haters". The reality is in the middle.

The most effective scenes included Stromboli and his troupe; there was a lack of build-up, energy and contrast in the rest. It's typical of all Disney movies of recent years where they don't want to upset anyone by using drama or anything that might cause a moment of anxiety. The saddest part was the ending. The raison d'etre of the 1940 story is Pinocchio becomes a real boy when he bravely sacrifices and places the welfare of others above himself. The "moral" of the 2022 version seems to be it doesn't matter what you are when you are born, you can be whatever you want to be, even if the science and biology say you aren't...which also explains why Jiminy is a grasshopper.

The Man from Toronto (2022)

Poor even for Netflix

[2/10 · 2 July 2022]

All films of this genre have many plot holes plus impossible situations and this one excels at them. I can only think that the producer had compromising photos of Harrelson & Cuoco. The dialog is nonsensical. Kevin Hart plays Kevin Hart. On the plus side Jasmine Mathews was a treat.

1, 2, 3 Go (1961–1962)

I remember it.

[8/10 · 25 June 2022]

The fact that I remember the name of a show I watched at age 7 is the reason for the rating. I remember an episode where the wicked witch actress from Wizard of Oz explained how she flew and melted. And another where they talked about how astronauts breathed while in space. It was must see TV for the cookie and milk afterschool break.

The Chase (I) (2021– )

Nasal Sara has to go.

[6/10 · 14 June 2022]

The show is okay, but listening to Sara Haines is like nails on a chalkboard. At times the nasality makes it difficult to understand what she says. Perhaps her nasal tone is due to enlarged adenoids, if so, perhaps surgery would help. Although a better idea would be to replace her.

Saturday Night Live (1975– )

A half century slide to the bottom

[3/10 · 8 May 2022]

It probably was inevitable. When first aired the show seemed fresh, and although many skits bombed, the ones that didn't more than made up for it. If Eddie Murphy hadn't been in the next cast change, SNL probably would have ended in the early '80s. The third iteration with Dennis Miller, Carvey, Lovits and Myers was the best cast in the show's run. The fourth change-up saw ratings slump with dull routines by Ferrell, Shannon et al, and the slide has continued..it now takes a cast of 20 to try where 7 formerly succeeded. There are exceptions. Tina Fey & Kate McKinnon are often brilliant. Jost & Che are good. Sadly, this is a show that is no longer watchable in prime time or anytime.

20 7.

The Rookie (2018– )

No visible tats

[5/10 · 11 April 2022]

"Candidates with tattoos who are subsequently hired must ensure that the tattoos are not visible to the public while on-duty." {LAPD Dress Code. Lapdhabbos.weebly.com/code-of-conduct.html.

Granted, all cop shows are a farce when it comes to reality, but "Lucy Chen" would not be allowed to have unconcealed tats showing.

Topsy-Turvy (1999)

Very good if you're G&S fan...with one flaw

[8/10 · 8 April 2022]

I bought my first Gilbert & Sullivan album at age 11, have attended live performances of most of their works, and own a complete libretto of all. I enjoyed the film. My only problem with the movie is history shows Gilbert to be a very loving man and not the one shown in his home...to be spoiler vague. If you have seen The Mikado the movie will be more liked and appreciated than if you haven't.

Sventoonie (2022– )

P.U. Even worse than Toon in with Me

[1/10 · 4 April 2022]

The same complete lack of creativity Weigel shows with their weekday morning series. It appears this is the first professional job these writers have done. It doesn't bode well....(it's worse than I thought. The creative team has over 20 years experience in television and this is what they came up with)...

The Conners (2018– )

How Hollywood Imagines the Lower Class Lives

[2/10 · 10 March 2022]

The writing of the early years of the Roseanne show was based on memories, and recent realities, of actual "working class" people. "The Connors" writers are - based on their bios - all millionaire Hollywood sexagenarians, living in Mailibu, that grew up in upper middle class homes, attended Ivy league schools, and went up from there...Top 1% clueless cultural misappropriation. This still might work if the show was at all funny, but it simply isn't.

Don't Look Up (2021)

Adam McKay strikes (out) again.

[2/10 · 28 December 2021]

I feel sorry for the cast...well, maybe not for Jonah Hill. This felt like an SNL skit that went on far too long. That's not a good thing. For the last couple decades SNL skits usually work to get dumber and dumber whilst being repetitious, I guess to make sure everyone gets the joke, and cruder and cruder. It reminds me of 7th grade. The movie tries to be satirical, but uses a sledgehammer to drive home the joke, and the "gags" are just as subtle. Those poor actors...

The Wonder Years (2021–2023)

Who is the target?

[24 September 2021]

Nostalgia TV shows use timeframes targeting an audience when they were children. The original Wonder Years came out in the '80s and showed the 60s - going after 30 somethings; the same target as Happy Days (70s/50s) and The 70s Show (90s/70s). The furthest afield was the Waltons (70s/30s) that went after 50-ishes. The new "The Wonder Years" takes place over 50 years ago. The series writer was not yet born. The name implies a nostalgia show, but the target market would be septuagenarians. The more likely answer is the show is not nostalgia, but creative fiction using a spot in time - which is common in storytelling. If so, they could have picked a better name.

The Mikado (1967)

Began a lifetime affair

[8/10 · 23 August 2021]

My Dad's boss said he previously sang opera professionally. Wanting to appear more mature than a 7th grader, I went to the record store and purchased the Gilbert & Sullivan Highlights album. When I mentioned this to the boss he somewhat dismissively said those were operettas and not true opera. Although a bit daunted, I still listened to the record because I thought the lyrics were funny. I saw The Mikado in 1967 and enjoyed it. So much so that over the next half century I went to a dozen live performances of different G&S operettas and enjoyed them all. I do hum "When I was lad", "Modern Major General, "John Wellington Wells" and other tunes while walking down the street. Quite an impact from a little movie.

Blue Skies Again (1983)

Not A Good Investment

[6/10 · 3 August 2021]

This movie was partially funded through a limited partnership offered by stockbrokage firms like mine. Its selling point was a 90% tax write-off of your investment...which became 100% when it flopped at the box office.

Purity (1916)

Suspend Fake Reviewers

[11 January 2021]

Once again we have a movie that no one could have seen that is still with us today, and yet the movie has been rated by a handful of reviewers that could not possibly have seen it. It would be interesting to see if it is always the same people rating movies that have not seen. An excellent solution would be close their account and bar anyone from their IP address from every opening a new account.

Soul (2020)

Suspicious number of rave first reviews

[7/10 · 1 January 2021]

I counted over 300 rave "rated 10" and "best movie ever" reviews of this movie here where the reviewer's history was less than a year - in many cases their user account was created within the last two months and this was their first (and only) review. Of course, it is possible that many people were so moved by this okay movie that they were compelled to comment..even though most of the review comments were very similar in adjectives used, sentence structure and format. Did you know you can buy rave reviews? My sister did it for awhile. But, of course, I'm sure all of these reviews for this movie and from the heart.

12 O'Clock High: I Am the Enemy (1965) Season 2, Episode 9

Decent Shatner, poor script

[7/10 · 22 November 2020]

Shatner's character is portrayed as wound a bit tight because he wants to kill every German and completing the mission is more important than the safety of his crew. The reason is because he left Germany as a child and doesn't like what Germans now represent. He's also fearless and so driven he'd rather bomb cities than military targets. This story line works and has been used in many other war stories. But then they throw in a plot bend where the reason he really feels this way is something that happened to him as a boy - and when asked by the cliched German-now-in-England new girlfriend what happened Shatner replies he can't tell her, and they skip over it. But the realization is Shatner must feel fear and then overcome it to make everything okay....and this last part all happens in the final 5 minutes.

Away (2020)

Another Life with a Different Cast

[5/10 · 5 September 2020]

The critics were right. This space opera, like the one mentioned above, focus on a simple emotional palette with few colors. with space simply as a back set (change it to Arctic colony, Amazon expedition, any company and you can use the same scripts).